That Sunday Night Feeling

Do you suffer from the "Sunday Night Blues?" Does three-quarters of your weekend always feel great, but the last quarter feels un-great? Do you detest the Annie song "Tomorrow," knowing that tomorrow being only a day away could very well mean that song was being sung on a Sunday evening?

If you said yes to any of these questions, then you may very well be a carrier of That Sunday Night Feeling. But fear not, because if you are 90 percent of the 4 out 5 Americans that suffers from That Sunday Night Feeling, then do I have something for you.

Hi. I'm Adam Daniel Miller, the illustrious and infamous inventor of a patent-pending list of things for beating That Sunday Night Feeling, or TSNF (pronounced "tah-seh-neh-fuh") for short. You see, while some people suffer from a case of the Mondays, for years I suffered from a whole crate of the Sundays. And at some point, I put my foot down and said, "Dayeinu is Dayeinu!"

Realizing that didn't entirely make sense, I said, "Enough!" which made a lot more sense. For the longest time, I thought it was Monday that was the problem. But when I really thought about it, while I can't stand Mondays, it's really Sunday nights that take the cake. And that's why I can't stand them. I love cake. So Sundays should really take a hike, not a cake. Jerk Sundays.

By the time Monday rolls around, you can finally jump back into being productive. But with Sunday nights, what with all the anxiety of the week ahead, the sadness with the week gone by, the fragrance of the neglected garbage can, none of it is good! All you do is sit home and not understand how all the restaurants close at 6. Does no one eat at past 6 on Sundays!?!

Anywho, this is why Sunday night is unequivocally worse than anything Monday can throw at you. And Monday used to be an Olympic shot-putter, so that really means something. And the thing is, week in and week out, That Sunday Night Feeling can sneak up on you and every Sunday, between about 7-9pm ET/4-6pm PT you may be asking yourself, well, how did I get here?

Letting the days go by
Let That Sunday Night Feeling hold you down
Letting the days go by
Bury your head underground

But so as not to bury your head underground, that's why I invented the patent-pending list of things you can do to beat That Sunday Night Feeling. Now, normally, the information contained in that list doesn't come cheap. In fact, it comes expensive. So how much would you pay for this? $50!? $100!? Five easy quarterly bi-monthly payments of $500!?!

Well not today my ever-present and very attractive Oy! reader, because you are in luck! That's because today, and today only, I'm going to give you, yes you, the "ever-present and very attractive Oy! reader" discount.

Free. It's free.

But had I even charged 10 shekels … dayeinu! So here is my patent-pending list of things you can do to beat that Sunday Night Feeling. Enjoy!

• Rearrange the days of the week on your calendar so you don't realize it's Sunday
• Sleep entirely through Sunday
• Don't go to work on Monday
• Better yet, start working from home on Mondays, but don't tell anyone
• Unplug for the evening (this only applies if you are a robot)
• Make a list of all the things you need to do this week, then crumple it up, throw it away, and go on vacation to Dinsey World
• Eat three boxes of Twinkies, so your body focuses on trying to digest that instead of being anxious
• Schedule something to look forward to, because if you are scheduling things to look back on, you're doing it wrong
• Try to think positive! If you can't, think negative twice because the double negative has led to proof positive!
• Recognize you have the "Sunday Blues" and mix it with the "Sunday Yellows" to get the "Sunday Greens." So very healthy.
• Start calling Sunday…Funday! (Use this as a last resort, it doesn't really work)