OyChicago blog

On Wednesday morning of Erev Rosh Hashanah, I found myself overwhelmed with the thought that it was the start of the Jewish New Year. Soon I would be sitting in synagogue pondering transgression, judgment and forgiveness. I felt a pit in my stomach because the notion was so final. For a moment, right there in the car, I felt like I might cry. It wasn’t a big, sobby I can’t pull myself together cry but the quiet, mournful, single tear down my check cry.

The notion that another year was about to end was looming, and I wasn’t ready for it. The year 5773 had come and gone way too fast. I wished I had more time.

Then my mind wandered to another thought that time, as we think of it and know it, might not really exist. Einstein even questioned the very idea of absolute time (a universal clock). Some science has even suggested that time is relative to gravity and other forces of the universe, and what we think of as "time" is really a matter of perception and relativity. At least this is what I gathered from reading his biography over the summer.

Though the actual existence of time is in question, what I have found to be real is the moment. We can't change the past because it has already happened. We can't impact the future directly because the future has not happened yet. The only thing we can change is the present. The very moment that is pressing up against us right now is the only one that we can influence.

This put me at peace for the rest of the day, until I found myself at services in the evening. One of the first prayers in the machzor (High Holiday prayer book) used the name Yom HaZikaron. It means the “Day of Remembrance” because we have a lot to remember on the day, looking back on the previous year. The name put me at unease all over again because I wondered if I might be forgotten. I had the horrible feeling that I might not have done anything memorable this past year, and what if God forgot me? Is that even possible?

My answer came in thinking through the word Teshuvah. It is often translated as “repentance” but it comes from the Hebrew word for “return.” I was beginning to discover that, for me, Rosh Hashanah was not about an accounting of my deeds from the previous year – the court trial metaphor that I had heard in Hebrew school years ago. It was about remembering to return to living in the moment.

You see, the Torah teaches us that God created the world in a moment. In fact, the Rabbis believed that Rosh Hashanah is the very moment God did this. Yes it took six days to complete the world, but each part was created the moment God uttered the words to make it so. Whether taken literally or as a metaphor, the lesson remains the same. As humans created in God’s image, we have the power to seize every moment and create.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why they call it the present. May you find clarity for what you desire to create most in each moment of this coming year. L’Shana Tova!

Our tradition describes Yom Kippur as “Shabbat Shabbaton” – the “ultimate Shabbat.”

Given our usual association of Shabbat with rejoicing (whether by eating great food, relaxing with our families, being intimate in the bedroom, etc.), it seems odd that we’d compare a day like Yom Kippur, where we specifically avoid comforts, to Shabbat.

On Yom Kippur, we’re not meant to wear leather shoes or other animal products, we’re not meant to eat or drink, to have sexual relations, to bathe, or to put on deodorant, perfume or lipstick. All in all, that makes it a bit challenging to rejoice and treat Yom Kippur like it’s the ultimate Shabbat, and this year, even more so, as Yom Kippur falls on Saturday.

In Hebrew, Yom Kippur is called “Yom HaKippurim.” One of my rabbis once pointed out that the construct of the name is particularly interesting, as if read quickly, one might hear it as “Yom K’Purim” – which literally translates to “a day like Purim.” We’re meant to be joyous on the holiday of Purim. What are the implications of suggesting that Yom Kippur is meant to be joyous like Purim, despite us denying ourselves our traditional comforts?

Can we come to view Yom Kippur as a celebration of having been fortunate enough to live/survive the past year? Can we view it as a day of joy given that our tradition makes clear that the power is in our hands to apologize for our wrongdoings and to recommit ourselves to being better people? And can we see it as an opportunity for rejoicing given that our shortcomings are lifted off our shoulders and are embodied by the community?

Yom Kippur, and everything it stands for, provides myriad opportunities for us to express our joy and gratitude – just as on Shabbat, we're meant to rejoice (oneg Shabbat). While we may practice self-denial in some ways, the fact that we even have those things to deny ourselves is cause for great celebration, as it’s a reminder as to how blessed we are.

This Yom Kippur, find a way to appreciate and find joy in the holiday. Make your Yom HaKippurim just a bit more like Yom K’Purim. Have the ultimate Shabbat experience. Come be part of community. And may we all be sealed in the Book of Life.

I remember when I was in junior high; there was one “big boned” kid. Now, experts use terms like epidemic, pre-diabetic, and obesity to describe what’s happening to kids today. A mixture of video games, social media and Flaming Hot Cheetos are making overweight the norm.

Fighting childhood obesity starts simple: feed your children healthy foods and be active with them. My sister-in-law calls healthy food “grow food” and I love that idea. The biggest thing is to get your children eating vegetables at a young age and continue that trend. Fruit should be an easy sell; it’s sweet so most children have no problem eating it. Fruit can be a dessert. There is no parenting or nutritional guide that says, “Kids need sugary snacks.”

The sky-rocketing rate of diabetes should scare you into making your kids eat healthy. You do not have to become a secret food agent and sneak kale into milkshakes but here are some easy cooking tips:

• Place veggies in any egg/omelet you make
• Keep placing veggies on their plate
• Cut up sweet potatoes, carrots, zucchini and use them in tacos
• Macaroni and cheese, a staple, is easy to add peas to
• Have them help you make an individual pizza and lay out veggies

King of the zucchini!

Fruits are even easier to add to meals. We have to give my two-year-old fruit at the end of the meal and not earlier, or he will only eat the fruit. Almost every meal ends with some fruit for us..With the increasingly high price of fruit, I often buy frozen berries. When the fresh fruit I buy is close to its last leg, I blend it up and then freeze it in ice cube trays or make my own popsicles. I have given popsicles to guests, and they love them! I usually add a little Greek yogurt and water to add protein and cut down on the sweetness. Last week I took all my frozen fruit ice cubes and added a few cups of lemonade, and made an icy fruit punch. My guests drank up the punch and thought it was “fancy.” In general, kids will portion themselves and stop eating when they are full. I’ve noticed with fruit and sweets that it’s best to watch their eating size.

Another food many children skip is protein. I often hear clients tell me their kids love carbs. Since it is essential for brain development and muscle growth, keep protein on the plate. I am lucky; my toddler loves meat and even fish. With all foods, it’s about exposure. Keep cooking or ordering lean meats. The most popular meal in my house is lamb burgers and sweet potato fries (you can make them in your toaster oven by cutting up potato strips thin, place a little olive oil on top and bake for 15-20 minutes). I know people are allergic to everything from strawberries to raw carrots, and especially nuts. If your child is not allergic to nuts and tree nuts, those are great snack foods. If you have a toddler, break the nuts in half or quarter so they don’t choke.

The last area I want to touch on is what my mom called “the idiot box.” I am guilty of turning on the television and letting my son veg out while I do something. I want to shower, or make dinner and my wife is not around, I might throw on some Dora and get to work. However, we go to the park a few times a week, sometimes a few times in one day.

Out of gas again?! Gotta push this puppy to the station.

Getting your child active does not have to involve expensive gym classes – it starts with parents. Lead by example and your child will follow. Take your kids on walks, bike rides, and parks. My son has an obsession with birds, so he will literally run around our house or a park chasing birds (I’m hoping this is somewhat normal). Whether it’s your backyard, the neighborhood, or your house, create a space for them to move around. Let your child see that exercise is part of your life. I work out in front of Henry all the time. He usually jumps right in tries to do whatever I’m doing. I have to stop using bands and kettlebells around him for obvious reasons. Somehow bands always end up around his neck.

Now that I have gotten that off my chest, how do you keep your kids healthy? Send me your favorite recipe, exercise, activity, etc. …

Now that summer has officially ended (even if the A.C. is still pumping) we can try and move on and embrace the fall season. And I believe that for every season you need something new – a new bag, a new man or maybe just a new attitude. So, while the magazines are telling you about all those things you need to be wearing, like those ridiculous calfskin Fendi lace up boots, I'm going to tell you the five things you actually need and more importantly can probably afford.

1. A big smile
Since moving to a new city about a month ago, I decided to wipe the puss off my face and start smiling at people more. The reality is I need to make some new friends and that doesn't really happen when you look like you’re taking a mug shot. If you're really lucky and live in a city where you have all the friends you need well then stop reading now. If you're the other large majority where you find your friends dwindling after college maybe it's time to make some news ones. Start flashing your pearly whites and see who you meet.

2. Something from your Alma Mater
It's football season. Represent.

3. Something for Y-0-U 
Summer shenanigans are over and it's hard not to be a little depressed. Who doesn't love fruity umbrella drinks and sunglass tans? I know I do. I also know that if winter is anything like it was last year it is going to be very long and chilly. So this fall if your indulgence is those calfskins boots go for it. If it's an entire box of cookies and a Friends marathon, go for that too.

4. A new routine
And no I don't mean adding in a gym work out after you get home from work. But, doing the same thing every day gets beyond boring. It's too easy to settle into and on top of that routines can be fun-suckers. Try a different route home from work, or if you’re really adventurous, venture into a new neighborhood on the weekend.

5. A trip to see your friends
I know I need one. And I know that's easier said than done, but if all your friends live on the same continent it's time to plan your own welcome week-style reunion. (So maybe you forgo the calfskin boots.) It's always fun to see your friend who lives in a different city, but how many times a year do all your friends get together? Maybe zero to negative one. Even if it's just a long weekend it's time to forget about work and responsibilities for five minutes and remember the good old days when that never existed, because these are the only people that can make that happen.

Mel Brooks is the greatest man I’ve never met. And I’ve not met a lot of people. Almost a few dozen I think.

You see, I’ve always loved movies—and comedy. And if there’s one thing Mel Brooks does well, it’s comedy movies. Growing up, I became obsessed with Mel Brooks. To a point that maybe it wasn’t healthy. When I was younger, I once watched Spaceballs 13 times in six days. Yeah, that happened. I’m a bit ashamed, but at the same time, I’m a little proud. Oh, to be young, carefree and 24 again.

Mel Brooks truly has had more influence on me than he will ever know. But you’ll know, oh, yes you’ll know, because you’re going to keep reading because you’re probably my mom reading this. Hi Mom.

My writing is often heavily inspired by the works of famous funnymen and women, but Mel Brooks is a huge influence, more so than most. A simple, yet hilarious joke in History of the World: Part 1 had a huge impact on me in college. There is adult language so please be advised.

I love this joke. So much so that it inspired me to write what ended up being my first full-length play, a parody of Oedipus Rex, appropriately titled, Mother F*****: The Story of Oedipus. See what I did there?

I’m not usually that vulgar, as my previous posts would suggest, but it can’t be denied that Mel Brooks has had his fair share of adult-themed guffaws. But he’s also had many Jewish-themed guffaws, and that’s what I want to share with you today. These are some of my favorite Jewish moments from what I have dubbed, “The Illustrious Twelve.” That being the 12 movies Mel Brooks had a big hand in directing, writing, producing or starring in.

It’s true that not all his films have outright Jewish moments, but you can always feel the influence. And while these are not necessarily my overall favorite Mel Brooks moments, (I absolutely love every time he breaks the fourth wall. In fact, in my own writing, I like to destroy it.) these are my favorite Mel Brooks Jewish-inspired humor-filled moments … part 1.

Blazing Saddles

The Indian Chief: Mel Brooks played three roles in this movie: Gov. William J. LePetomaine (who I dressed up as for Halloween one year), a random aviator in the criminals line (blink and you’ll miss it), and the Indian Chief. The great part here, that all goyim probably had go straight over their heads, is that the foreign language they are speaking is … Yiddish. Heh heh.

Lili Von Shtupp: Oh Mel Brooks, you sly dog. Subtly putting that innuendo into the sultry character played to perfection by Madeline Kahn. If you are unaware of what the joke is here, I would highly suggest you look it up what shtupp means in Yiddish. Enjoy the song “I’m Tired” where if you listen closely, you can spot Mel Brooks in his fourth role as the voice of one of the soldiers. I sure can spot ‘em.

Spaceballs

Princess Vespa: This isn’t so much a moment as the whole character. We have here a Princess from the planet Druidia. So what does that mean our hero’s, Lone Star and Barf are stuck with? That’s right, just what they needed: a Druish Princess. I apologize for the clip, but I could only find it in Lego form. Tee hee.

The Schwartz: Oh there is quite a lot going on here. The obvious is that instead of The Force, we get The Schwartz! The not so obvious is the joke involves the line “I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!” Oh Mel Brooks, you sly dog – again.

High Anxiety

The Disguised Jewish Couple: I won’t even get into the fact that the movie is titled High Anxiety. No, the part that stands out for me is when Mel Brooks and Madeline Kahn need to get through airport security without being recognized and disguise themselves as an old, obnoxious Jewish couple. I know it’s not precisely Jewish, but go with me here. I love how Brooks is essentially channeling the 2000-year-old man. The accent is brilliant and I love every moment of this scene. While it’s never actually stated, I’ve decided to call them Harry and Ethel, because I’m the one writing this so I can do that.

Robin Hood: Men In Tights

Rabbi Tuckman: Pretty much the most Jewish character we can get, we have here Mel Brooks playing a variation on Friar Tuck from the original story. He performs circumcisions for “Half-Off,” his payos are attached to his hat, and there’s my favorite line about Robin of Locksley and Maid Marion of Baghel and how, “You know, you two were made for each other. I mean, what a combination. Locksley and Bahgel! It can't miss!” Rabbi Tuckman is great.

History of the World: Part 1

Moses: Wonder what the other five were.

And then there was this.

Josephus avoiding death: Josephus, played by Gregory Hines, is trying not to get thrown to the lions, and to do so, he pretends he’s a Jew. The soldier then pulls his pants open and Josephus responds with, “He missed.”

The Spanish Inquisition: Felt I should throw this in here, more or less for Jackie Mason, the slot machine and the bubble that shouts “Oy!” among so much more. And the song is just oh so catchy. Let’s begin!

And finally, of course, Jews in Space:

So there you have it, my favorite Mel Brooks Jewish-inspired humor-filled moments … part 1! Just like History of the World, there’s probably not going to be a part 2. But hey, what can ya do? But now I want to hear from you! I know I didn’t touch upon every single Mel Brooks Jewish joke so I must have missed some of your own personal favorites. Let me know what I missed and even what your own overall favorite Mel Brooks moments are. I always love to hear what others think. Thanks for reading and may the Schwartz be with you.

I have a wallet full of “frequent diner” cards. These are the cards that get hole-punched or rubber-stamped each time I eat at a certain restaurant. After a dozen or so purchased meals, I get a meal or entree for free.

According to the restaurant, I “earned” this free meal with my loyalty. But how did I “earn” it? Did I work for it, toil for it? Or did I just have lunch a lot at the place near my office?

So here is my idea. The next time I “earn” something for nothing like this, I will give it to someone who actually has nothing.

I’d like to call this the Infrequent Diner Program. Because it’s for people who most likely do not dine in restaurants with any frequency.

When I give money to a homeless person, I give a dollar. But lunch downtown is $6 at least, even at a fast food place. This card, which cost me nothing, can get someone a full meal.

And do I need this card as incentive to go back to the restaurant? Probably not— I would go anyway to a place that is nearby, decent, and reasonable, especially if it has outdoor seating (my office has no window).

Do I even need to get a free meal in the first place? Well, I just bought 10 meals there, so probably not.

I don’t agree with people who say: “I don’t give to the homeless because they will only spend it on drugs.” But even those people cannot argue with the Infrequent Diner Program; the cards can only be redeemed at the restaurants that offered them—for food.

Joining the Infrequent Diner Program costs you nothing, and gets someone who really needs it a decent meal. The restaurant is out nothing, either, as they were planning on giving you that free meal anyway.

You can even join the Infrequent Diner Program with your co-workers or roommates. Just tack the card to the break room bulletin board. When someone goes out to lunch, they take the card along, get it punched, and put it back. Whoever gets the last punch gives the full card to a homeless person on the way back, and then tacks the new card to the board.

I can imagine a bulletin board full of cards from all sorts of restaurants you might never otherwise try. Instead of having the old “I dunno, where do you want to go?” conversation, you would go to the board, see what cards there are, and grab one from a place that looked interesting or convenient.

So that’s the Infrequent Diner Program. Please use the comments below to say that you will join, or to add other ways to expand or improve on the idea. Thanks, and bon appetit!

For the first time in nine seasons, the Chicago Bears will enter the year without Coach Lovie Smith on the sidelines. We’ll have to learn how new coach Marc Trestman will show his emotional range during games compared to coach Smith, whose expressions varied anywhere from pursed-lips disappointment, to pursed-lips elation.

But it wasn’t only the coach that changed. The Bears only retained one offensive lineman from last year – Roberto Garza – and have added tight end Martellus Bennett to their receiving core. They are without future Hall-of-Famer Brian Urlacher in the middle of their linebacking core, and Devin Hester has returned to his most natural role – returning punts and kickoffs. And while there is probably equal cause for optimism as there is for skepticism, there are mostly four questions to be answered entering this season.

1. Will the offensive line be an improvement over last year?
One thing we know for sure – it will be different. And perhaps it is sad that the most exciting thing about the new line is that J’Marcus Webb and Gabe Carimi are not going to be on it. But when you set the bar so low, it’s easy to see an improvement. And anything is an improvement over what we’ve been subjected to. Kyle Long and Jordan Mills have given us reason to look up, even if it’s just seeing two young promising names on the right side of the line. Jermon Bushrod and Matt Slauson are an upgrade on the left side – at least, in theory. But with a new offense and so many new faces on the line, will it lead to improvement – and more importantly, will we see it in Week 1? This is a much improved O-line, which was priority 1A in the offseason, and we got exactly what we asked for. And while they may take a few weeks to get into rhythm together, I do believe the upgrade will show if they can all stay healthy and keep Jay Cutler off his backside more often than he has gotten used to in recent years.

2. Will the aging defense start to decline?
My short answer is no. Not yet. I still think this unit has a year, maybe two left in it. And no matter how old they are, Lance Briggs, Charles Tillman and Julius Peppers on one side of the ball together will make for one hell of a defense. To me, it’ll be the new faces. D.J Williams, despite not playing a minute of the pre-season, has been slated the starter at MLB over rookie Jon Bostic. And Williams will be on a short leash because from what I’ve seen so far, Bostic is ready to go. I think we will see a major step forward from second-year man Shea McClellin, and I think Isaiah Frey will step right in for the injured Kelvin Hayden and be an impact player. At least to start the year, I see no major weak joints in this aging Bears defense.

3. Can Matt Forte stay healthy and get into the end-zone?
A huge factor in the success or failure of the pass game will depend on Forte. If he can be a serious threat to not only open it up for a big run, but get in the end-zone, it will give the Bears a lot more flexibility in their pass game. He has to stay healthy, too. Michael Bush is a great back up, but if Forte gets hurt and Bush becomes the starter, it’ll greatly limit their game plan. Forte looked great in the pre-season game against Oakland. And he appears to be a major part of the Bears plan in the pass game as well. But it should not be overlooked given all of the attention on Cutler. Forte needs to have a big year if the Bears want to return to the playoffs. And I think he will have his best as a Bear.

4. Will this finally be the system that fits Jay Cutler?
All signs point to “yes.” Trestman comes to town with an incredible reputation for getting the best out of quarterbacks. He brings a west coast offense that has worked for Cutler before. And now Cutler will have more weapons, with a healthy Alshon Jeffrey and aforementioned off-season acquisition Martellus Bennett at tight end. Earl Bennett still appears to be a question mark in terms of staying healthy and having an impact, but Brandon Marshall will again be an exclamation point. And while most expect either fireworks or disaster from Cutler, I fall somewhere in the middle. There will be flashes of great, there will be ugly moments. He’ll make amazing plays and he’ll throw terrible interceptions. I don’t think Cutler’s numbers will be overwhelming like many are predicting, but I still think this will be his best as a Bear. It has to be. Or else the Bears are back in an all too familiar spot: searching for a quarterback.

So without a moment of football played yet – here are my predictions for the Bears this season. While the Bears appear improved on paper, there will be growing pains. And with a more difficult schedule this year and an improved NFC North, it won’t be a walk to the playoffs even with their improved roster and coaching staff. Records don’t say it all – just look at last season. Off to a 7-1 start and then missing the playoffs. I predict the Bears will finish 10-6 again this season. But they will end up with a wild card spot, with a very good shot at making a run in the playoffs. But this is football and anything can happen, so let’s bear down and enjoy the ride.

Ready for a fresh start? We Jews are lucky to get a chance to start over every fall as the shofar sounds a wakeup call in each of our lives.

Back by popular demand—at least according to my relatives—is my second annual guide (check to see how you did in 5773) to a sweeter new year.

L’shana tovah umetuka!

1. Speaking of sweet, catch more flies with honey. The Russian Jewish proverb whispered to me by my mother throughout my life and passed down from her mother and her mother’s mother applies to everyone we encounter in life. We make a choice in the way we approach people, both the primary players in our world and the strangers we meet just making cameo appearances, like the checkout clerk at Target or the man selling StreetWise on the corner.

2. Find out where you come from. Investigate your roots. Talk to your grandparents and parents about your family history. Google your genealogy. What did your great-grandpa do for a living back in the old country? What shtetl did your ancestors live in? You don’t have to appear on Lisa Kudrow’s TV show "Who Do You Think You Are" to find out who you are. 

3. Tell the people in your life what they mean to you.Jewish author Bruce Feiler explains that it took being stricken with cancer (he is now in remission) for him to tell his loved ones how important they are to him. Why must it take a near-death experience or dramatic roadblock for us to take stock of our friends and family? Drop a note or have lunch with the people you care about and tell them what they mean to you.

4. Take FDR’s words to heart. Fear can be a good thing. Don’t let fear stop you from doing the things you want to do. They never seem as scary after you do them.

5. Be and do Jewish in whatever way speaks to you. Whether it’s davening, honoring Shabbat, traveling to Israel, reading Isaac Bashevis Singer, watching a Samberg/Sandler flick, or all of the above, find your own Jewish path.  

6. Live generously. Be generous with your time, money, forgiveness, smiles, and hugs.

7. Remember that this too shall pass. I was having a tough time recently, and then I read that the Connecticut man who lost his family in a home invasion is expecting a baby with his new wife. Even in the most extreme cases, human beings possess resilient spirits. You never know what incredible things are waiting for you just around the bend.

8. Take a hike. Or a run, or a stroll, or a bike ride, or kickboxing, or the stairs. Just move.

9. Sing more—even if you’re off key. Okay, so you’re not exactly Pavarotti, Aretha, or Rihanna. Don’t worry—Simon Cowell can’t hear you in your car or shower.

10. Get inspired. By the Torah, a TED talk, Shakespeare, volunteer work, or even a conversation with a friend.

11. Eat Nutella. It’s just that good. And, it’s kind of like going to Europe.

12. Spend time with people who get you. And less time with people who don’t. Life’s short. `Nuf said.

13. Flex the other side of your brain.If you’re an accountant or teacher by day, take up watercolor, improv comedy, or hula hooping by night. Stretch the limits of who you are and open yourself up to new experiences.

14. Reach out during the holidays and on Shabbat. Having an apples and honey tasting? Gathering people for Shabbat dinner Friday night? Or hosting a meal in your sukkah? Invite that friend of a friend you heard just lost her job or that new family with the triplet toddlers who just moved in down the block. You’ll make someone’s day and maybe make an unexpected friend too.

15. Hang out by the lake. Whether you’re swimming in it, jogging along it, or sipping an umbrella drink on a hammock near it, take in its beauty and vastness. Notice how small you are compared to it. Sort of puts life in proper perspective.

16. Be less green. And I’m not referring to the environment. Remove jealousy from your emotional suitcase. It’s unproductive and you never know what challenges someone else is going through.

17. Give yourself a break. So many people try to excel and make everyone around them happy all the time whether that means making the honor roll, saying yes to a work project you know you don’t have time for, or going out on a date that you’d rather not go out on. But you know what? Sometimes it’s okay to take a day off from perfection. I give you permission.

18. Be present. Stop texting, tweeting, looking back in hindsight, and planning for the future every once in a while—and just be.