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Who pays when?

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Cheryl Jacobs photo 2x 

Last night while watching one of my many reality show guilty pleasures, Giuliana and Bill, I came up with the topic for my latest dating post…  And my boyfriend thinks nothing productive comes from me watching so much TV! 

Let me preface this by saying that I love Giluliana and Bill as a couple.  I think they’re adorable together— probably why I’m a sucker for the show— and I respect the relationship that they appear to have with each other.  I’ve even read their book, “I Do, Now What?: Secrets, Stories, and Advice from a Madly-in-Love Couple” and no, I’m not married, but I borrowed it from your blogger-in-chief who now is, so I think that makes it ok.

In this particular episode, Bill and Giuliana travel to London, so Giuliana can cover the royal wedding. While there, Bill insists they immerse themselves in the culture and drags an unwilling Giuliana and four of her female friends to a traditional English lunch of fish and chips.  Bill foots the check for everyone and they’re all impressed with his gentlemanly ways— forgetting that they’re being forced to eat fried foods.  While thanking Bill for paying the bill (pun kind-of intended), Bill launches into a story about when he and Giuliana first started dating. 

He brings up their second date and how they went out for a nice dinner.

At this point, Giuliana interrupts to ask, “Are you going to tell them about how we slept together on the second date?”

Apparently they did “it” or it might have been on the third date that “it” happened, no one seems to be clear on the issue.  It’s a funny moment in reality TV that I felt like re-telling even though it has nothing to do with today’s dating etiquette blog post.  (You all already know how I feel about that kind of behavior.)

Anyway, Bill brags, “I was going to tell them about how you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and secretly paid the check.” 

Now in my opinion, that is one classy move! Her friends seem to agree and impressed respond by saying, “Giuliana did that because she already knew how much she really liked you.”  It’s very sweet.

So I’ve been having this debate with friends for years.  I have girlfriends that will drop a new guy fast if he isn’t quick to pay the bill for at least the first three dates.  Alternately, I know plenty of guys who if they don’t see the girl do the “pretend to reach for her wallet move” won’t bother calling her again.  Clearly, I haven’t set up any of these friends with each other. 

I even know of one relationship that had a quick demise because after more than a dozen dates, the girl still had never offered to pay for anything— even a coffee.

Giuliana, on the other hand, handled the situation beautifully and made a real impact on her now husband.  She declared right away that she wasn’t after his money and that she liked him enough to grab the bill and she did it in a creative— dare I say it— romantic way.  Single girls, pay attention.  You can learn a lot from her moves!  I’d even suggest that it saved their relationship from fizzling out after the quick intimacy.  But I get that it’s not that easy for everyone.  

So Oy! readers tell me: who should pay for the date and when?  Have you ever pulled Giuliana’s move?  How’d it turn out for you?

Finally, I have to give a shout out to my girl Patti Stanger whose show Millionaire Matchmaker premieres Monday, August 15.  Rumor has it: this season Patti isn’t just helping other single folks find their one true love, but is back in the market herself.  Is love in store for the matchmaker?  You know I’ll stay tuned to find out and I’m sure I’ll end up blogging all the details.

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