One of the boys
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Hello, my name is Jacey Bader and I have an unhealthy obsession with pink, hearts, frills and football. Yup, you read that correctly. I am more girly than Barbie herself, and I’m willing to bet that my bedroom has more pink than her entire dreamhouse. I can also tell you the difference between off sides and a false start, why an onside kick could be beneficial, and I can define words such as “horse collar”, “safety” and “hang time.”
Being a girly football fan is not an easy task. It’s not my fault! I was raised in a home where my father would rather take a spin class than come near a sporting arena (the man fell asleep during the 1991 Twins World Series while he was AT THE GAME!), and my mother dragged me to the Vikings games while I was still in utero. I bleed purple, and I love it. However, I am at a constant struggle to hold back my girly tendencies. My only saving grace is that purple is such a great color...can you imagine if I was a Bears fan? Navy and orange? Gross!
I watch the games in Chicago with a group of guys I went to high school and college with. From here on out, I will refer to them as the “squad”. What a great word—makes me laugh every time I say it.
A typical Sunday would go as follows:
- Wake up at 11ish and text the squad to see where everyone is going. Lately, the consensus has been State Bar. I like it there with the giant TV right in the booth. Last year it was Victory Liquors. I think I like State better.
- Definitely skip the shower because let’s face it, not one of these boys is getting up to shower on a Sunday morning. They are like my brothers—what’s the point?
- Put on my super cute, vintage-looking, Vikings t-shirt (new from Junkfoodclothing.com), Vikings earrings and Badger hat. Gotta represent!
- Hop on the bus and head to State.
- Squeeze into the edge of the booth that the squad has been saving for a good hour (I’m clearly the last one there as usual) grab a beer and brace myself for kick-off.
- Just when I’m so proud of myself for being one of the boys, they go and order wings. Don’t get me wrong, if you haven’t tried the bbq wings at State yet, it’s a must. But seriously, have these boys never heard of a napkin? This is when the struggle is at its peak. I so desperately want to get everyone a bucket of soap and a nice warm rag, but I know if I say anything it will draw the attention to the fact that I am not a boy. The squad has a very strict “no girls allowed” policy that I have worked very hard to penetrate. I am proud to be the one exception to this rule. The key is not to ask questions. If you don’t know what happened, you better Google it.
- Half time: toss a football in the street, listen to the squad talk about last night’s encounters, order another beer.
- Watch the Vikings dominate (so far so good!), split the bill and go on my merry way.
I love being one of the boys. I love when they completely forget that I’m there and they say the raunchiest stuff! It’s so gross, and I get such a kick out of it. Boys really are a rare breed. This is where I get the best information. It’s more like a field study, an experiment if you will. I disguise myself as one of them to get the inside scoop about how guys really think. What have I learned? That I’m happy I’m a girl.
The squad is a staple in my chaotic life. I love knowing that despite my gender and girlishness, I always have a place to watch the game. It would be really great to have female ally though. I need someone to gawk at the way Adrian Peterson’s gorgeous pecks move up and down in the new NFL.com Fantasy commercial! He’s so sexy. I really love football.