OyChicago articles

David Sax is on a quest. His mission? Save the deli.
 
Growing up in Montreal and Toronto, Sax was first introduced to matzo ball soup, kishke, corned beef and coleslaw on a weekly jaunt to the deli his family would make after Friday night services. Sax translated his love for all things Eastern European food into visits to the “great deli cities” – New York, Chicago, L.A. and Montreal come to mind foremost. He also visited some of the lesser known greats, like London, Paris and even Krakow – more than 150 delis in all. He describes his adventures in tasting in his new book, “Save the deli: In Search of Perfect Pastrami, Crusty Rye and the Heart of Jewish Delicatessen.”

The luscious writing, full of saliva-inducing descriptions of pastrami on rye, complements the larger philosophical theme of the book – the survival of Eastern European Jewish culture. To Sax that means the survival and the flourishing of the deli.

Oy!Chicago’s Jane Charney recently met David Sax at Manny’s Coffee Shop and Deli in the South Loop to kibitz about his favorite nosh, the story behind the mission and what’s next on his plate.

Jane Charney: Why the deli?
David Sax: My mother’s family had been in Canada for several generations. But my dad’s parents were immigrants, who came over when they were children from Eastern Europe. The culture in Montreal is very much a deli culture. We grew up in that world – the equivalent of Maxwell Street in Chicago, and it was just part of what we ate.

My father had a love for the food not for any nostalgic reasons. My mother didn’t grow up with it at all – only when she met my father and he dragged her into it. And growing up, going to the deli was the weekly thing we did. It wasn’t ever “we eat this because of a certain reason.” It was just, “we’re going to the deli.” I never even remembered the first time … it was something that we did. And it’s something I love doing. I love this food; I grew up with the taste of it.

Can you pick a favorite?
I’m always partial to matzo ball soup. There’s something about that. That was the one thing that my mother made at home. That’s a universal thread: One time I was traveling in Thailand, and of course, the Chabad guy approaches me on the street: ‘You Jewish? You Jewish?’ And he invited me over for Shabbat. I’ve had [matzo ball soup] in all these different countries, and that’s the one thing that’ll always connect Ashkenazi Jews. There’s always a matzo ball – that’s the standard fare.

How did you come to “save the deli”?
When I was at McGill, I took a course on the sociology of Jews in North America. A friend and I wrote a paper on the Sociology of the Jewish deli because we thought it would be fun. We went to a couple of delis in Montreal and interviewed the owners. And they all had the same story to tell, which is that business was really in a bad shape. Delis were closing down, far fewer delis than there used to be. It was the beginning of something, and I just knew that I wanted to get the rest of the story.

What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned about the business of running a deli?
The surprising thing was how much money isn’t made on the sandwiches. The things that people primarily come to the deli for – corned beef and pastrami – delis make very little money on that. And I think that’s one of the reasons why they’re having such a tough time. It’s very difficult to operate a business where your marquee item doesn’t make you a lot of money. Right away, you’re starting with a major handicap, so that was most surprising in terms of the economics of everything.

Thinking of opening your own deli?
No, definitely not! Now I know how hard it is. And I know what it takes. Ken Raskin, [the owner of Manny’s Coffee Shop and Deli], has to be up at three in the morning to get in here and make sure the guys are peeling the potatoes for the latkes and to take the deliveries. And he’s been doing this for decades. And Danny, his son, said that “I knew my fiancée was the one because when we started dating, she understood this would always be my second wife ... like my father did.” The great deli owners marry themselves to the business. I’m too lazy.

How did you select cities visited?
I traced a route [from Toronto] to the big deli cities. I knew I had to go to LA and Miami and Chicago, but in this given time, where could I realistically go? There’s only so much room for so many chapters and so many places. And I didn’t want to go to a place that would then have to be cut entirely or whittled down so much. It was never meant to be just a guide to the deli. It was meant to be a story of the business and each place had to tell an element of that story. Too many places would have been quite repetitive.

The book is very user-friendly with its listing of delis in many cities. Did you intentionally make it so?
There was always going to be a practical aspect to [the project]. Telling the story of the places I went and what I ate was always going to be enticing people to go to these places. Part of it was raising awareness that these places exist. There are a lot of people in Chicago who don’t know about Manny’s or Kaufman’s … people who didn’t grow up in the community.

But the food always had to tell a specific story about the business and the place in the community. It had to relate back into it. Take the Reuben Strudel at Kaufman’s, for example. It wasn’t just that it was good; it was that they were trying to do something different, taking chances, trying to experiment. The same way that the corned beef [at Manny’s] is that family’s legacy, how the flavor of that came from the way the Raskins run the restaurant.

Why do you think people keep coming back to the deli?
The great Jewish delis provide an experience that’s unique and tastier than any sort of sandwich shop. You come here and the owner will see you, and the owner is making sure that the latkes are being made in a certain way, and it’s not a premade mix they get from a box. There are guys in the basement peeling potatoes by hand. It’s crazy! But that’s what makes it delicious. And you get a mix of people in a [deli]. Look around, it’s a total cross section of Chicago, and you don’t really get that in other places.

What struck you about Chicago when you were here researching the book?
Chicago is a great deli town. Not a lot of people, even within the community, know about that. Go out, taste them and dig around – find the great delis.

The other element that I think is really interesting is what happened to the kosher meat industry and the Jewish meat industry in Chicago. At one time, this was the place for meat production in the Midwest. You had brands like Vilno, Best Kosher, Sinai and all within the last year, they’re all gone. And that’s tragic. That’s as much a part of the culture as the deli. And it fits right into the deli story.

It’s funny, people are always asking, “how do you reinvent this culture?” in the greater sense of how do you reinvent Jewish culture. A lot of it is going out and trying crazy new things, and a lot of it as well is just going and figuring out how it used to be done, what was important about that and how you could recapture a lot of that spirit.

What’s next for you?
I don’t know yet. There’s not going to be a sequel to this book that’s about “saving more delis” or about the bagel or something. This was a passion project. One story that I wanted to tell and I felt that I told it as best as I could. There’s been talk about a documentary, but nobody’s signed any checks yet. I’ll see what happens.

Becca Willens explores the influence of the Holocaust in her installation.

Becca Willens respects her roots. Growing up in a small Jewish community in Petoskey, Mich. – where hers was one of five Jewish families in town – Willens learned to cherish community from an early age.

Now a senior studying costume design at Columbia College, Willens translated her understanding of community into an installation displayed at Spertus Museum. The piece is a response to Spertus’ “What Does It Say to You?” exhibit.

Willens and five other Jewish student artists from Columbia College and from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago (SAIC) teamed with Hillel’s Arts in the Loop program and Spertus Museum Director Rhoda Rosen to creatively explore “What Does It Say to You?” and construct physical manifestations of their reactions to the pieces in that exhibit.

The students’ pieces are temporarily installed alongside the main exhibition, and Spertus will host a special viewing from 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. this Sunday, Dec. 20.

Inspired by a Maryan S. Maryan painting and its color scheme, Willens fashioned a scalloped-edge dress festooned with different-color florettes. The edges of the dress are roots and represent “the Holocaust because our roots were ripped out from under us,” Willens said. The dress also features holes with red tulle peeking out from them – the holes represent the lasting effects of the Holocaust because “some of us still don’t know where we came from exactly,” she said. And the florets – in vibrant blues, greens, and reds are the people. They are scattered at the bottom of the dress and condense at the top, representing the re-emergence of the Jewish people from the shadow of the Holocaust, said Willens, who has served as secretary for the Columbia College’s Hillel for the past two years.

“It’s a very personal piece for me,” she said.  “I used materials I had at home for it: antique buttons I used to collect and scraps of fabric from other projects. It forced me to be very selective about what I’m using to fit my theme – growth and unity and how our roots are growing stronger.”

Her contribution is also a memorial to her grandmother, a talented seamstress who passed away while Willens was preparing for the exhibit.

Sam Eisen’s photographs of his brother, father and grandfather bridge his family and his artistic expression.

Other artists also paid tribute to the importance of roots and family through their work. SAIC senior Sam Eisen used his grandparents’ old Super Dollina camera to take photographs of his brother, father and grandfather. The three men read the same Torah portion for their bar mitzvahs, which Eisen saw as “a rite of passage – a father passing the light to his son,” he wrote in his artist statement. Although he usually uses drawing and painting to express himself, Eisen thought it was important to use the camera because it served as “a symbol of my family giving me the means to be an artist,” he wrote.

Jennifer Swann contemplates her grandmother’s favorite phrase in her work.

Jennifer Swann’s contemplation of her Yiddish-speaking grandmother’s favorite phrase, “it’s your America,” led her to respond creatively to seeing a Yiddish typewriter in the Spertus collection. Although she originally wanted to use the typewriter in her installation, she ended up using an English-language machine. She typed out her grandmother’s phrase over and over, copied the sheets and plastered an 8-foot by 15-foot column with the results. Her installation also features a video of her typing out the words.

“[‘It’s your America’] is something my grandma still says that to me all the time, whenever I do something crazy,” said Swann, a junior at SAIC. “I was thinking of ways to materialize that expression because I wanted people to interpret for what it meant to them.”

Also on view was an installation by Max Gutnick, who explored the connection between the physical and the spiritual by building a sensory deprivation room-like experience. He was responding to photocopy transfers by Cheselyn Amato, but wanted to create a structural three-dimensional piece as both a response and a contrast.

“Whenever you analyze yourself or the world, you get glimpses of perfection and different glances at truth, different types of truth, and you are constantly distracted from your contemplation,” said Gutnick, a senior at SAIC, who usually works in visual design. “The idea was that you have to practice to gain a stronger spiritual connection because there’s always going to be distraction in the physical world.”

All the student artists met to discuss their creative process on a weekly basis, contributing to each other’s pieces, brainstorming ideas on materials and evaluating each other’s progress.

“It was definitely a collaborative experience,” Swann said. “For me, I had this loose idea of having this expression, but didn’t know what form it was going to tak,e so just bouncing back ideas and coming into the actual space influenced me.”

Once the student artists’ projects are no longer on view, Spertus’ “What Does It Say to You?” exhibit will continue its interaction with viewers through March 14, 2010. Videos of people’s reactions are on display throughout the gallery, and visitors can leave comments to be read by future viewers.

“‘What Does It Say to You?’ invites viewers to respond without being told by curators what that response should be. It’s about direct engagement with the objects [in the exhibit],” said Rosen, the Museum director.

Hillel and Spertus Institute of Jewish Studies are partners in serving our community, supported by the JUF/Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago. It’s not too late to help fund wonderful organizations like Hillel, Spertus and JUF.  Make a donation for 2009 NOW!

In these trying economic times, socializing can become a challenge. Restaurants are still expensive, and if you want a nice leisurely evening, with an appetizer or salad, an entrée, and a cocktail or glass of wine you can easily be out $50 with tax and tip, and lord help you if you want a dessert or a second beverage.

Entertaining at home is often much more affordable. For the price of a nice glass of wine in a restaurant, you can get a decent bottle that will serve five people. For the price of that two-course meal out, you can serve six to eight people at home! As we head into the holiday season, I thought I’d weigh in with some economical ideas for entertaining at home.

First, make friends with someone at your local wine store. There are surprisingly good wines for $7-$10 a bottle, and once you find the ones you like, it takes the pressure off stocking up for a party, or bringing a couple of bottles to someone else’s fete. Punch is making a comeback—a very affordable alternative to setting up a bar. My recipe for Gin Punch, below, can also be made with vodka.

When it comes to hosting, keep a few things in mind:

Plan to have three or four things in abundance for dinner and keep your pre-dinner nibbles simple, unlike expensive, time-consuming cheese platters and fancy hor d’ouevres. Pretzels and popcorn are much easier and less expensive. If you prefer something more substantial, stick to something minimal like hummus with snap peas and pita chips or baby carrots and potato chips and your favorite sour-cream dip.

Let your guests bring bread, wine, and desserts—all readily available and inexpensive—and they’ll be happy to have a duty.

For dinner, explore alternative cuts of meat. Chicken is always a crowd pleaser, but with boneless breasts running at $5-$7 a pound, it can get pricy, plus they’re very easy to overcook. Chicken thighs and drumsticks are a great bargain at $1.50-$2.50 a pound, and they’re good for stewing and braising, so the busy host doesn’t have to stay tethered to the stove to prevent disaster. Want to do a fancy roast of beef? Stay away from prime rib and tenderloin roasts at upwards of $18 a pound, and try an eye of round roast, usually closer to $4 a pound. Your local butcher can steer you toward other great cuts, especially those for slower cooking.

Sides are your friends at a dinner party, especially on a budget. Portion expensive protein for single servings, but bulk up the sides for people who might want seconds. Rice and pasta, both very inexpensive, can easily be spruced up with of herbs and spices or stir-ins to be elegant and delicious. For vegetables, double up, one green and one other, to really fill out the plate. Avoid those tempting but pricy spears of asparagus, and go for the green leafy stuff…kale, collards, turnip and mustard greens, all easy to make and inexpensive. Economical root veggies like parsnip, carrot, turnip, and celery root get caramelized and delicious quickly in a hot oven.

For a sample menu, try the recipes below! All serve up to eight people pretty generously, and the TOTAL cost is about $60 (if you have basic staples on hand).

You provide:
Gin Punch
Herbed popcorn
Celery and Apple Salad
Chicken in Vinegar
Pasta with Chives and Lemon
Braised Kale and Collard Greens with Apple and Caraway
Roasted Root Vegetables

Have your friends bring:
Red and White Wine
Bread
Desserts

Gin Punch

Simple Syrup:
One pound sugar mixed with one cup of water and heated over low heat till dissolved. Add 1/8 oz. orange flower water if you like.

Peel two lemons with as little white pith as possible. Put peels in large bowl and cover with one 750 ml bottle of good gin. Press peels lightly with muddler or ladle. Let sit for 30 minutes. Add one cup fresh-squeezed lemon juice and 1/2 cup of simple syrup and stir. Add 1 ½ liters of club soda or sparkling water and one lemon sliced into thin wheels. If it is too tart add more simple syrup.

Herbed Popcorn

3 T peanut oil
¾ cup popcorn kernels
3 T nutritional yeast (with dietary supplements at Whole Foods or health food stores; adds a nutty flavor like parmesan cheese that pairs great with popcorn)
1 tsp. ground mustard powder
1 ½ tsp. salt (and more to taste)
1 tsp. dried thyme leaves (or herbes de Provence or Italian herb mix)
½ tsp. garlic powder
¼ tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)

Mix all the spices and herbs with the nutritional yeast in a small bowl. 

Put oil and popcorn in a large pot, shake to be sure all the kernels are coated, cover pot with tight-fitting lid and turn the stove burner on high. Leave the pot alone until you hear the popping slow down, and then give it a shake or two to make sure all the kernels get popped. When the popping slows to three seconds between pops, turn off the heat, remove the lid, and pour the popcorn in a bowl large enough to mix it around easily. Sprinkle hot popcorn with about 1/3 of the yeast/spice mix and toss thoroughly. Taste. Add more yeast mix and salt until you get the flavor you want. Then let the popcorn sit uncovered at room temperature until completely cool. Store in Ziploc bags or Tupperware containers for up to 36 hours.
You can toast on sheet pans in a 400 degree oven for 3-4 minutes to recrisp or to serve warm.

Celery Green Apple Salad

2 heads celery with hearts, cleaned, sliced on the diagonal in long pieces about ¼ inch thick
2 Granny Smith apples, sliced thin
½ lb. parmesan shavings
Juice of one lemon
¼- 1/3 c extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Chicken in Vinegar

3-4 lbs. chicken thighs and drumsticks
2 T olive oil
6 T unsalted margarine
8 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
4 medium shallots, peeled and minced
1/2 cup red wine or sherry vinegar
1 cup dry white wine
1 T honey
1 heaping T tomato paste
1 cup chicken stock
½ tsp. nutmeg
1 T thyme
1 T fresh chopped parsley

Season chicken to taste with salt and pepper. Heat oil and 2 tablespoons of the margarine in a large frying pan over medium high heat. Brown the chicken on all sides; you may need to do this in batches, removing them when done and setting aside on a plate. Pour off all but a thin coating of fat from the pan.

Reduce the heat to medium, add the shallots and garlic, cook until slightly soft, about 5 minutes. Add the vinegar and wine to the pan with the honey and scrape the browned bits off the bottom of the pan. Reduce the liquid by about one-third, about 3-5 minutes, then stir in the tomato paste. Add the stock, the nutmeg and thyme and the browned chicken, lower the heat to medium-low and cover the pan. Simmer the chicken, turning and basting every 10 minutes or so, for about 45 minutes, or until the meat is fork-tender.

Remove chicken from the pan and set aside again. Increase the heat to medium-high, continue cooking until the sauce is thick and glossy, about 5 minutes. Cut remaining margarine into small pieces. Remove pan from the heat and whisk in margarine one piece at a time. Adjust seasoning; add salt and pepper and additional vinegar if needed—it should taste smooth but still a little bit tart. Return chicken to the pan, turning to coat evenly with the sauce. Serve hot.

Pasta with lemon and chives

1 lb. extra wide egg noodles
6 T unsalted butter, melted
Zest and juice of one lemon
One bunch chives, chopped fine
Salt and pepper to taste

Cook noodles in salted water according to package directions.  Drain and stir in butter, lemon juice and zest and chives along with one ladle of the pasta cooking water.  Salt and pepper to taste. 

Braised Kale and Collards with Apples and Caraway Seeds

2 T olive oil
3 T finely chopped red onion
1 lb. kale, washed and chopped into large pieces
1 lb. collard greens, washed, stemmed, chopped into large pieces
1 large Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored, coarsely grated
3 T sherry vinegar
2 T honey
1 tsp. salt
1/8 to ¼ tsp. caraway seeds

Heat oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-low heat. Add onions and cook until translucent and slightly golden. Add kale and collards, apple, vinegar, honey, salt, and caraway seeds; then cover pan and cook over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, until the greens are very soft but not falling apart, about 40 minutes to an hour.

Roasted Root Vegetables

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Peel and cut into 1-inch chunks:
4-6 carrots 1 large celery root
4-6 parsnips
4 turnips
1 medium red onion, peeled and cut into eighths

Toss all of the above with 1/3 cup olive oil, sprinkle with salt, pepper, 1 T dried thyme and put on baking sheet in one layer.

Roast for about 40 minutes to an hour, stirring every 10 minutes, until golden and crispy outside and soft inside.

© 2008 Robert Kusel

It’s almost time to watch the candles burning bright in the menorah, but it’s more important than ever that Chanukah doesn’t burn a hole in our pockets. If you’re looking to do something meaningful (and cheap) for your family and friends this Chanukah, take a look at some of these great ideas and volunteer opportunities:

1) Volunteer

The JUF TOV Volunteer Network's winter calendar of one-time volunteer projects, Merry Mitzvot, offers many opportunities to give back during the holiday season. From sorting donations to serving food, you are sure to find a way to make your holidays more meaningful. Sign-ups are open now and projects run through Friday, January 1, 2010!

© 2008 Robert Kusel

Here are just a few:

• Pick up Chanukah and Christmas gift donations at parishes, schools or businesses in the city and suburbs and help distribute them to recipient families through the Cathedral Shelter of Chicago. The Shelter’s mission is to minister with love and compassion among and with the most vulnerable of our community—particularly those who suffer from addiction—through crisis intervention, addiction recovery, community assistance and life-skills development.

• Sort and take inventory of toy donations, process gift request forms and fill orders for Catholic Charities’ Celebration of Giving, a month-long effort to collect gifts for many of the children and families served by Catholic Charities. This 59-year tradition brings the spirit of the holidays to agency clients who struggle with desperate and crisis situations, by creating a memorable holiday season for the nearly 12,000 children served through the Toy Shower and the 500 families assisted through Sponsor-a-Family.

2) Donate

• Send gifts, checks (of any size) or find other ways to give something small to your eight favorite charities—one for each night.

3) Get creative

• Instead of fighting the crowds at Macy’s and Nordstrom this year, make your gifts yourself. This can be a great project to do with kids. For some fun ideas, visit www.creativejewishmom.com.

• Fill holiday bags with toiletries and decorate cards to be distributed to clients of the JUF Uptown Cafe  at Christmas brunch Sunday, Dec. 20 at the JUF headquarters, 30 S. Wells St.

© 2008 Robert Kusel

4) Help out a friend

Do you know someone battling illness, struggling with the economy, or taking care of a new baby? Help them out this Chanukah by preparing dinner, offering to babysit or just giving them some time to relax.

5) Be a friend

• The Friend Center, located at 1601 Lake Cook Road, is home to 35 people with early Alzheimer’s and other cognitive impairments. Volunteers are needed to escort residents and serve refreshments at the center’s Chanukah party Tuesday, Dec. 15, and New Year’s Eve party Thursday, Dec. 31.

6) Help someone dress for success

• Bottomless Closet, located at 445 N. Wells St., provides professional clothing, job readiness and post-employment training and coaching services to women on assistance and working-poor women. Help sort clothing inventory into categories: designer, professional, and unsuitable, Wednesday, Dec. 16.

© 2008 Robert Kusel

7) Spread holiday cheer

• The Night Ministry connects with Chicago’s vulnerable youth and adults, providing basic supplies, self-care supplies, free health care, housing and supportive services for youth, referrals to other resources, and more. Volunteers are needed to set up, prepare and serve food to clients, facilitate activities, distribute stockings, and clean up at the Night Ministry’s holiday party Thursday, Dec. 17 at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, 1218 W. Addison, Chicago.

• Process, sort, and organize donated gifts for The ARK’s clients from the Chanukah Gift Wishes program Wednesday, Dec. 9 at 6450 N. California.

8) Pay a visit

• Play bingo and socialize with the residents of the Brentwood North Nursing and Rehabilitation Center, which has provided long-term, sub-acute and rehabilitation services for over 100 residents for more than 25 years. Volunteers are needed for the evening of Monday, Dec. 21 at 3705 Deerfield Road.

• Chabad/Northwestern Memorial Hospital’s Visitation Program meets every Friday to pack and deliver Shabbat packages to Jewish patients at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, 251 E. Huron. Volunteers are needed for Dec. 4, 11 and 18.

Sign up to volunteer  or learn more about TOV’s Merry Mitzvot program at  www.juf.org .

My sister desperately needs your help.  Please read her story  and consider registering by attending one of the upcoming drives (listed at the end of this story) or going to http://join.marrow.org/4katie.

My sister, Katie, is 26 years old and has been through more in the past year and a half than anyone should have to endure in a lifetime.  In spring of 2008, one week after her 25th birthday, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  Our lives were turned upside down.  Unresponsive to chemotherapy, she and my mother, Nancy Meacham, moved to Houston, TX in order for Katie to receive treatment at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center.  She underwent an Autologous Stem Cell Transplant, which put her in remission.  Upon returning to New York, she became heavily involved in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  She has become a friend and resource to countless others battling cancer.

Just after celebrating a year cancer-free, Katie received the devastating news this past September that she has relapsed.  My heart broke.  Yet, she met this news with the same courage, determination and hope that she held throughout her initial diagnosis and treatment.  I wished, as I have many times, that I could make this illness just disappear.  Her strength of spirit inspires me everyday.

Doctors have said her best chance at long term recovery and survival is for her to undergo an Allogeneic Stem Cell Transplant, meaning now she needs blood stem cells from a matching donor since her own blood stem cells didn’t keep the cancer away.  I am begging for your help.  You may be the one to save my sister, or one of the other 6,000 people searching for a life-saving match each day.

Right now, of the 14 million people currently registered to donate, not a single one is a match for Katie.  This is due in part to her unique genetic make-up which includes the Jewish A69 gene (from her mother, of Middle Eastern European Jewish descent) as well as genes from her non-Jewish father who is of German and English ancestry.  Although it is more likely that her match will have a similar background, it is certainly not compulsory.

Registering involves answering a brief set of medical history questions, then swabbing your cheek with special Q-tips, which are provided to you by the testing service.  It is free and painless.  If a donor is called upon to donate, 70% of the time the procedure involves removing blood from one arm through a needle, collecting the stem cells from the blood, and returning the blood to the donor through a needle in the other arm.  It only takes the donor a short time to replenish their stem cell supply.

Additionally, we are trying to spread the word amongst families with babies on the way, that the blood from the umbilical cord of a newborn, which is typically discarded, can also be given to a public cord bank, where it could potentially reach a patient in need.  Learn more about cord blood donation.

Both of these procedures require so little of the donor, and mean absolutely everything to the recipient.  We are desperate to find a match for our Katie, and hope that you will consider registering to become a donor by attending one of the donor drives or registering online.  If you aren’t a match for my sister, you could be a match for one of the thousands of others in need, who are holding out hope that the next new donor will be the one who saves their life.

Over the next couple weeks, donor drives are being held throughout Chicago in which the entire registry process can be completed on-site.  Details are below.  It takes six weeks to get in the database and sadly cancer does not wait for paperwork to be filed, so please do it now.

UPCOMING DONOR DRIVES:

Tuesday, December 1, 2009 8:00pm-9:00pm
Chicago, IL
Birthright Participant Registration @ JUF
30 S. Wells St., 6th floor
Chicago, IL  60606
(312) 673-2350
CONTACT: ErinJones@juf.org

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:00pm-4:00pm
Chicago, IL
Loyola University Hillel
Mundelein Center-Room 821
1020 W. Sheridan Road
Chicago, IL  60660
(773) 508-2193
CONTACT: ErinJones@juf.org

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 4:00pm-7:00pm
Northbrook, IL
Temple Beth-El
3610 Dundee Road
Northbrook, IL 60062
(847) 205-9982
CONTACT: ErinJones@juf.org

Thursday, December 3, 11:00am-2:30pm
Chicago, IL
JUF/Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago (EMPLOYEES ONLY)
30 S. Wells St., Rooms 6117-6118
Chicago, IL  60606
(312) 673-2350
CONTACT: ErinJones@juf.org

Friday, December 4, 2009 10:00am-3:00pm
Chicago, IL
UIC Hillel
Levine Hillel Center
924 S. Morgan St.
Chicago, IL  60607
(312) 357-6922
CONTACT: ErinJones@juf.org 

Saturday, December 5, 2009 10:00am-12:00pm
Elmhurst, IL
Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Kickoff Event
York Community H.S.
355 W St Charles Rd
Elmhurst, IL 60126
CONTACT: Danielle Vickers (LifeSource): dvickers@itxm.org

Sunday, December 6, 2009 8:30am-1:30pm
Chicago, IL
Emanuel Congregation
5959 N Sheridan Rd
Chicago, IL 60660-3643
(773) 561-5173
CONTACT: ErinJones@juf.org

Sunday, December 6, 2009 11:00am-1:00pm
Chicago, IL
Anshe Emet Synagogue (during Hannukah party)
3751 N. Broadway
Chicago, IL 60613-4104
(773) 281-1423
CONTACT: ErinJones@juf.org

Wednesday, December 9, 2009 10:00am-5:00pm
Chicago, IL
Spertus Institute
610 S Michigan Ave
Chicago, IL 60605-1901
(312) 322-1700
Lobby and 2nd level
CONTACT: ErinJones@juf.org

Second City alumna Jackie Hoffman is back in Chicago appearing as "Grandmama" in the new musical  The Addams Family  (currently playing at the Ford Center for the Performing Arts on Randolph), but she’s also planned a special Chanukah treat for local fans. On Monday nights, Jackie will debut her new act,  Whining in the Windy City: Holiday Edition , at the Royal George Cabaret on Halsted.

I met Jackie for coffee right before an Addams Family rehearsal on Nov. 5 to learn more about the new show. “About Chicago, I was warned, ‘Well, Jewey stuff doesn’t fly here.’ And I heard that, but despite that, I’m just going to bring people into my world,” she said. “I tell about my life and what happens to me and the things people say to me. After every show, people say to me: ‘Is that true? Is that true?’ It’s all true. I’m not that good a writer. It’s all true.”

“I was fired on a Carson Pirie Scott commercial because I was ‘too ethnic looking’; meanwhile Rosie O’Donnell was cast as Golde in Fiddler on the Roof! Broadway’s become all about the sellable name, so that’s really what it is, but that was just so absurd. But I got a lot of mileage out of it; I made it work for me. Chicago people love down-to-earth, and my act is as down-to-earth as it gets. The truth never fails!”

Performances of The Addams Family run through Sunday, Jan 10. For tickets, visit www.BroadwayInChicago.com. Jackie’s four Royal George performances are scheduled for Nov. 30, Dec. 7, Dec. 14, and Dec. 21. For tickets, visit www.ticketmaster.com and enter “Jackie Hoffman” in the Search field. The Ford Theatre Box Office line is (800) 775-2000. The Royal George Box Office line is (312) 988-9000.

To see Jackie play “Calliope” (her acclaimed role in the Broadway hit Xanadu), visit www.YouTube.com and enter “xanadu evil woman” in the Search field.

Coincidentally, Jackie also appears in Making Trouble, which will screen at Spertus Institute of Jewish Studies on Sunday, Dec 13. Making Trouble is a well-intentioned documentary produced by the Jewish Women’s Archive. Clips of funny ladies Molly Picon, Fanny Brice, Sophie Tucker, Joan Rivers, Gilda Radner, and Wendy Wasserstein are threaded together through a marathon meal at Katz’s Deli featuring Jackie and fellow comedians Judy Gold, Cory Kahaney, and Jessica Kirson. Comments from multiple scholars and other “talking heads” are also folded in. It’s an enjoyable film, but I left hungry—too many appetizers and side dishes, but no main course. For tickets, visit www.spertus.edu or call (312) 322-1700.

So here’s a question for you. Cancer: good or bad?

You’re a little perplexed that I’ve framed the debate this way, aren’t you? The answer couldn’t be more obvious if it was written in big lights up and down the skyline. Cancer is horrible, and you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who hasn’t been affected by it somehow. If there’s any way to prevent suffering like that, it should be pursued to the utmost, right? It’s why women endure mammograms and Pap smears and men go through prostate exams: to establish a baseline of normal health and to try and catch cancer in its earliest, most treatable stages.

Up until last week, if a woman had no increased risk of breast cancer due to family history or a genetic predisposition, such as a BRCA mutation, the commonly accepted timetable was to start getting yearly mammograms when she turned 40. Last week the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force ignited a firestorm of controversy when it issued new recommendations. What they said was that low-risk women should start mammograms at age 50, and should only go in every two years. They also wrote that there is insufficient evidence that breast self-exams catch cancer at a higher rate. What many people heard was: Women’s health isn’t important, and women are overreacting.

It feels like an odd claim, right? Why on earth would anyone think scaling back preventive screenings is a good idea? Is this the medical equivalent of “Why do you hate freedom?”

The USPSTF sees this issue as a conflict between evidence and anecdotes. Even as thousands of women are coming forward and talking about their own experience, that they would be dead if a mammogram hadn’t checked that lump at 39, the task force believes there are fundamental misconceptions in the popular notions of cancer, which are hurting more women than helping. Breast tissue changes as women age, and different imaging techniques produce very different answers from case to case. The task force sees unnecessary biopsies, unnecessary chemotherapies, unnecessary surgeries and unnecessary anxieties on a widespread scale. We, the American public, are just not used to being told that you can, in fact, be too careful, particularly with regards to cancer.

I’m not shilling for their position. The truth is I’m not sure what to think. I’m 25, with a liberal arts degree, and my particular family history doesn’t suggest that I’m at any higher risk than normal. That means I’m due for my first mammogram sometime after 2024, and a lot can change in fifteen years. But here’s the thing: that question from the beginning of this post? The answer hasn’t changed in the last five minutes, and it hasn’t changed since the USPSTF offered a new suggestion about how we think about preventive screening. Cancer is still horrible, and even though it’s not October and the world isn’t smothered in pink ribbons, we’re talking about it. We’re listening to our mothers and aunts and sisters, and we’re asking our doctors about our options. If we’re able to understand all sides of the conversation, not just the ones we agree with, that’s how we move forward.

If you’d like to learn more about the issue, including the text of the recommended guidelines, the Chicago Center for Jewish Genetic Disorders has a link roundup at its blog.

Photo credit: Robert Kusel

From WWF to ‘SNL’ to YLD
Starting at age 8, Andy Samberg used to sneak out of his bedroom late on Saturday nights to watch WWF wrestling.

But wrestling was only on once a month, so most Saturday nights he would watch “Saturday Night Live” (SNL). “I became obsessed with SNL and fell in love with it,” Samberg recalled. “From that point on, I wanted to figure out how to craft my life to lead me to [a career] at SNL.”

He and his two friends, who would one day form a comedy troupe, would record episodes of the famous sketch comedy show on VHS—especially the ones starring his idol, Will Ferrell, and watch them again and again. “It was never something that was not part of my life,” he said.

Cut to two decades later. Samberg, who is Jewish, has entered his fifth season as a regular cast member on “SNL.” The comedian creates and stars in such comic—and often raunchy—music videos as “Lazy Sunday,” “I’m on a Boat,” “Dick in a Box,” and “Motherlover,” collaborating with entertainers including Justin Timberlake and Natalie Portman.

Samberg’s videos debut as digital shorts on SNL and then rocket their way to YouTube fame. The comedian’s videos have earned several Emmy nominations and other awards and broken records on YouTube. He’s also starred in several movies, including “Hot Rod” and “I Love You, Man.”

As entertaining as Saturday nights are thanks to SNL, the real excitement for many Chicago-area young Jews came on Sunday night, Nov. 15. The JUF’s Young Leadership Division’s (YLD) Second Annual Big Event featured an evening with Samberg.

‘Big(gest) Event’ in YLD history
And it really was a “big event.” Held at Swissotel Chicago, the event drew more than 1,000 people, making it the single largest YLD event in history. “To get that many people there on a Sunday night just shows the dedication and devotion that the young Jewish community has by giving back,” said David Greenbaum, YLD president. The evening included hors d’ oeuvres, dessert reception, open bar, after-party, and an exclusive program with Samberg, including some Jewish-themed clips from “Saturday Night Live.”

1,000 guests fill the room for YLD's largest event ever
Photo credit: Robert Kusel

YLD’s Big Event raised money for the 2010 Jewish United Fund (JUF) Annual Campaign, offering young adults a chance to give back in tough times, as JUF tries to help more people, but with fewer resources. People who have never needed assistance are calling upon JUF for help. “We’re mindful of the fact that 38,000 local Jews now rely on us for groceries and meals,” said Jonathan Rutman, YLD’s Big Event chairman and 2010 YLD Campaign vice president.  “Most of us have never experienced a time or circumstances like these, where we are challenged by both an economic meltdown and a worldwide surge of anti-Semitism and vilification of Israel.”

‘In your face, ribbon-tying supervisor lady’
Wearing a casual plaid flannel, Vans sneakers, and glasses for the event, Samberg seemed like just a regular, goofy Jewish guy. In an “Inside the Actor’s Studio”-style format, local syndicated columnist and talk show host Mark Bazer interviewed Samberg in front of the crowd. As Samberg began by telling the audience that he grew up in a “hippy” and “melting pot” place called Berkeley, Calif., a young woman in the audience screamed out her love for his hometown. “Thanks, Mom,” he joked. “She goes everywhere with me.”

Samberg, an NYU film school grad, grew up with two other funny guys, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone, who formed the comedy troupe “Lonely Island,” named for the apartment building they used to live in. Earlier this year, they released their album “Incredibad,” the first full length album to reach the number one spot on iTunes.

Back when they were struggling to make it on the comedy circuit, they would shoot low-budget comedy videos “eating canned chili and drinking 40s.” To make ends meet, they’d take temp jobs together. “We got fired mainly for tardiness,” he admitted to the crowd tentatively.

Andy and Mark joking around
Photo credit: Robert Kusel

“Once we got a call at 6 in the morning asking if we wanted to tie ribbons on Christmas Cards…to give it some three-dimensional flair,” Samberg said in a mocking tone. On the job, the three buddies sat tying ribbons and chatting. After failing to separate them, their supervisor fired them for talking too much. All these years later, Samberg’s having the last laugh. “In your face, ribbon-tying supervisor lady,” Samberg joked with the crowd. “She’s here [at Big Event] for sure…way in the back.”

Switching gears, Bazer and Samberg discussed the comedian’s Jewish identity. He said his parents raised him with a strong cultural Jewish identity, but, at first, not a particularly religious one. One day his sister, in the fifth grade at the time, came home from her Jewish day school and said, “We’re way more Jewish than you guys are telling us.” From that point on, Samberg and his family ate Shabbat dinner and observed the Jewish holidays.

He talked about the role his Jewish identity plays in his comedy. “My comedy is not Jewish,” he said. “I’m a comedian because I’m Jewish. That’s like every fifth Jew is a comedian, right? And every other four have a pretty good sense of humor.”

He says he grew up on a diet of Mel Brooks and Woody Allen Jewish humor, but that today’s young comedians must mix it up. “For some reason, this generation of comedians, [no matter] what their ethnicity, can’t base their whole act on one thing, because to me that feels a bit limited. A lot of comedians are like, ‘So, I’m single…’ and that’s their whole act,” he said.

After the interview, the spirited crowd asked Samberg questions, many of which focused on whether the star is dating anyone. “On behalf of all the women and some of the men, do you have a girlfriend?” one young woman asked. Samberg responded, “Do you want me to take my shirt off?” “Are you on JDate?” asked another female fan in the crowd. “I’m not on JDate, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a lot of nice people on JDate,” Samberg replied. A man in the audience got a big laugh with his question, “What was your bar mitzvah theme?”

When asked whether Samberg finds the constant YouTube parodies of his videos flattering, he said he absolutely does. “When I see a group of 10-year-old girls doing ‘Lazy Sunday’ in their small rural town and they’re clearly having fun, that’s inspiring,” he said. “It reminds me of what ‘Saturday Night Live’ meant to me as a kid.”

Growing up, Cara Bronstein was surrounded by art. Her mom a painter, photographer, jewelry designer and all around artistic maven filled her house with fine art and creative people. Full disclosure, I grew up with Cara. I was one of the many kids who loved to play at her house after school because it meant getting to do fun art projects we weren’t allowed to do at our own homes and getting to visit her mom’s jewelry studio in her basement. And, I remember a time when Cara wanted to be anything but artistic like her mom and hated these art projects. Luckily, Cara’s changed her mind and is now embracing her inherited artistic and business talents to start her own tutu line. Yep, you read correctly, Cara builds made to order tutus for girls of all ages from scratch, one piece of tulle at a time. Each tutu can take her upwards of 5 hours.

Cara says she started making tutus for a couple of reasons. She has a dance background and to this day loves anything that has to do with pink and ballet. The inspiration for her first tutu came from her boyfriend’s niece, Olivia. She wanted to make Olivia something unique, that was handmade, but not just another baby quilt. She said it hit her one day that a tutu would be the perfect gift because it was beautiful, girlie, and Olivia was about to take her six month professional photos and she thought the tutu would photograph well. It turned out to be the perfect outfit and Cara knew from there that she had to make more.

Today she runs a tutu company, petal girl 25, to showcase and feature her tutu collections. She has plans to expand the line from just tutus to all things ballet related, including footwear. So if you believe every little girl should have her own tutu, love Israel, or like being creative, Cara Bronstein is a Jew You Should Know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
I don't want to sound too biased, but I really love my mom's blogs: DianePatricia.com and Styleinthestreets.com.  My mom is an artist of life; she has always and will always be a great inspiration to me. Her blogs are her latest creative outlet and they both speak differently to me and spark some of my own creative juices. She lives all the way across the country in Palm Springs, so it’s also a nice way for us to keep in touch.
 
2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
Since I have all ready been to Israel on a birthright trip, (Israel is one of my favorite places on earth) I won’t say there though I do want to go back soon. Some places on my wish-list are Austria, Ireland and the Ukraine. My Grandpa introduced me to the movie The Sound of Music when I was little. From the first time I watched it, I fell in love with the beautiful scenery and the Von Trapp family. So one day, I hope to go there. Also, I am a quarter Irish, which is pretty unique for someone with a Jewish background; I would love to visit there and see that side of my heritage. Plus, Ireland looks absolutely beautiful and there’s something so romantic about it.

3. If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
I love this question. I am a huge movie buff, but I never have really thought about this before. I guess I would have to say Amanda Seyfried from Mama Mia and Big Love. I think she is a great, young, versatile actress. Also, she seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, unlike so many other young Hollywood celebrities these days.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
I’d want to eat a meal with my Grandparents. I would eat whatever my Grandma would choose to make. She was a great cook. She was also a great craftsman and gardener/florist. She was extremely talented. I strive to be like her. My Grandpa unfortunately past away many years ago when I was just a kid I wish I had got to know him better.

5. What’s your idea of the perfect day?
I have had a few perfect days in my life they were all completely different, but the one thing they had in common  I was either with family or friends— Oh, and the weather was always nice. I am pretty sure you can have a good day in cold weather too, but I don’t think you can label a cold day as a perfect day. :)

6. What do you love about what you do?
I love that the sky is the limit. There are endless possibilities and I can be as creative as possible. I have so many ideas for the direction I want to take my company. This is definitely just the beginning. I also love that I can create beautiful things with my hands and everything I make has lots of TLC. I love how my creations bring a smile to people’s faces of all ages.

"Cheryl" tutu

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
I am actually working on my esthetics’ licenses. I’m not the kind of person who can just wear one hat all the time. I need to be involved in many different projects, I just am interested in too many things.

8. What’s your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago?
Definitely celebrating the holidays with my family and friends. Of course, going to Oy! events. I have also been meaning to go to a 3BC (B’nai Brith Beber overnight camp) reunion ever since I moved back to Chicago.

Cara’s tutus are perfect Chanukah gifts this year, for more information about her tutus and how you can purchase them, visit her web site at  www.petalgirl25.com .

Aaron Karo first came into my life my sophomore year at the University of Wisconsin-Madison when my friend Jamie forwarded me an email that was so funny I almost peed my pants! From then on, every month, my friends and I got an email from Karo titled Ruminations, where he wrote about what was on his mind: college life, dating, drinking and just everyday stuff. His writing was real, relatable and most definitely, hilarious—plus, he was a nice Jewish boy from New York!

Ruminations began in 1997, when as a freshman at the University of Pennsylvania, Karo sent a funny email to just 20 of his friends—through forwards and word-of-mouth, the “email column” spread like wildfire to hundreds of thousands of college kids throughout the country. Twelve years later, Karo still emails out his Ruminations every other Monday and he also created a website, Ruminations.com, in August of 2008 for fans to share their own ruminations, observations and anecdotes.

Inspired by his column, Karo authored two books, Ruminations on College Life (this one got me through a bad case of the flu my sophomore year) and Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, both published by Simon and Schuster.

According to his website, after a brief detour on Wall Street, Karo moved from New York City to Los Angeles in 2005 to write sitcoms and perform stand-up. In August of 2008, he performed on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS, and in December 2008, Comedy Central Records released his stand-up album, Just Go Talk to Her. Karo plans to release a new album early next year.

Karo’s third book, I’m Having More Fun Than You , was published Sept. 15 by HarperCollins, and Karo is currently on a 15-city stand-up tour to promote the book. You can catch him at the House of Blues in Chicago this Saturday, Nov. 14—I saw him perform there last year, and trust me, it’s a pee-in-your-pants good time.

Just before he set out on his tour, I had the chance to talk with Karo about his new book, bachelorhood and his Jewish mother’s thoughts about his love of the single life:

Oy!Chicago: Tell me about your new book, I’m having more fun than you.
Aaron Karo: I turned 30 earlier this year and I started to notice that as all the women around me wanted to get married more, I actually wanted to get married less. For me, turning 30 meant I had a little money, I was more confident, I knew what I was doing. The book is a tribute to bachelorhood and it’s a series of anecdotes and observations about single life in your 20s and 30s. It’s kind of a defense of bachelorhood because for guys and for girls I feel like a lot of people make you feel bad about being single—you feel ostracized, they stick you at a table at a wedding—and this is kind of saying that “Hey, at least we make the world go ‘round.”

What is your Jewish background? How does being Jewish influence what you do?
I was raised Conservative, but I’m actually completely secular now. But I really think that Judaism to me is more of a cultural thing, especially in comedy. Having a comic background and being able to spot another Jew across the room are the more salient characteristics of Judaism for me.

What does your Jewish mother think of all this “single is more fun” business? Doesn’t she want grandkids?
My parents are not that bad on the spectrum of Jewish parents. Recently, my dad told me that my mom said that she’d be okay with it if I had a kid out of wedlock, just so she could have grandchildren. I think she was kind of half serious. But besides that they haven’t been too bad. Plus, I have a younger sister, so I try to shift some of the burden to her.

Is this love for the single life just your shtick or is it really who you are? Would you change if the right girl came along?
There’s no shtick! I write what I know. I am single and have been for a little while now, although I have had girlfriends that I do mention in the book. I live what I write and vice versa. I write in the introduction that the book is not supposed to be anti-marriage—in fact I do want to get married, just not right now or on anyone’s timetable.

Who is your inspiration? Do you have a favorite Jewish comedian?
I don’t really know if there’s an answer to that question. I started writing in college just for fun, for free. I just put my own experiences on paper, nothing really inspired me to do so, more because I couldn’t sleep as a freshman. My favorites are Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld, which is kind of like saying your favorite team is the Yankees, but my favorite team is the Yankees, so I feel like I’m allowed.

Your whole career was basically born from grassroots social networking even before the Facebook and Twitter stuff. What do you think of social media and viral marketing? Do you use Facebook and Twitter?
Well, it’s kind of a blessing and a curse. I mean, on one hand it was nice when I had a giant email list and no one could touch me and now it’s like someone does some tweets and next thing you know you have 10,000 followers. But I also think that it’s not as deep necessarily; I’ve used social media to complement my existing relationships, the email and the website, and I post stuff on Facebook and Twitter. I read all my emails personally so I’ve always been pretty into interacting with fans.

What advice do you have for Jewish 20 and 30somethings?
The thesis of the book is that one of the benefits of being single in your 20s is that you’re more prepared for marriage, which is kind of a counterintuitive statement that I make. I feel like the longer you’re single the more you know what you really want and what makes you happy.

What can we expect from your upcoming show at the House of Blues?
So very excited, new show. It’s an all-new show, different from what I did last year in Chicago, inspired by the book. Lots of discussion of relationships, marriage, dating of course drinking—the House of Blues always has the craziest fans! I’m actually talking about kids a little bit this time around because a bunch of my friends started having kids, so that’s a new part of my act. I think it’s really good—I think it’s the best show I’ve ever done.

Whenever my husband wears a kippah – an admittedly rare occasion – he dons a colorful crocheted circle swirling in blues, yellows and browns.

Kippot like his are the work of a handful of Mayan women in Guatemala, who have partnered with MayaWorks, a Chicago-based organization to produce beautiful fair-trade ritual objects, purses and clothing. The colors on my husband’s kippah were chosen by the women of San Marcos la Laguna, a small village on the shores of Lake Atitlan.

The women began crocheting kippot about 10 years ago, after a Jewish tourist traveling with MayaWorks saw them making hacky sacks. “If they can make hacky sacks, they can make kippot,” the tourist remarked, says MayaWorks executive director Jeannie Balanda. That off-hand remark started an effort that now constitutes the artisans’ best-selling product. Besides hacky sacks and kippot, the 40 San Marcos artisans crochet baby hats and shoes and pouches.

Each kippah takes about three to four hours to complete. At first the shape was troubling – some kippot would be really round or really flat, says Naomi Czerwinskyj, MayaWorks product manager. Eventually, with the help of a head dummy, the artisans found the right shape: neither pancake nor Sephardi-style hat.

For the first couple years, the kippot makers didn’t actually know what they were making. But another traveler brought a story about the importance of a kippah in the Jewish tradition – the sign of reverence for God. That’s made the crochet specialists even more respectful of their own work, Balanda says.

The MayaWorks scenario is far from a sweatshop: the organization not only provides market-rate payment for the artisans’ work and supplies, but also scholarships for their children, micro-loans to improve living conditions, and additional training. The artisans create their own patterns, make decisions on whom to include in their craft group, and brainstorm ideas for new products.

“Not only has this been good work for the artisans as far as getting money for their families, but it has also been good for their growth as women and as contributing members of their communities,” Balanda says. “When they see the results of their work, the artisans’ self-esteem increases dramatically.”

That’s no small thing in traditionally macho Guatemala. Add in the long-existing prejudices against indigenous people, and the value of having a market for their products becomes clearer.

The kippot makers are among seven groups of women engaged with MayaWorks. Most are weavers, a traditional craft young girls learn from an early age. They start by making huipiles, blouses made out of hand-woven panels decorated with an array of birds, flowers and vines. The MayaWorks artisans have transferred some of these rich patterns onto the products they make – including other Judaica: the mezuzah covers, banners proclaiming shalom and, most recently, tallitot and tallit bags. Of course, Jewish ritual objects are not the only products. The MayaWorks warehouse in Chicago is a treasure trove of eye-glass cases, tablecloths, decorative wall panels, purses, Christmas tree ornaments and headgear.

The colors and patterns that first drew my husband to his kippah are a powerful symbol of what Maimonides taught 800 years ago: the best way to help someone is to give them the resources to help themselves.

Since discovering the kippot, we’ve given MayaWorks headgear as gifts to our extended family. They’re more than a mark of our Jewish heritage. They’re a symbol of hope.

This Wednesday night (Nov. 4) Chicagoans will have the rare opportunity to get a glimpse into Israeli culture—free of charge! Three former contestants of “ Kochav Nolad/ A Star is Born,” Israel's version of "American Idol," will perform “Israel: Sing it!!! A Concert Honoring Yitzhak Rabin's Legacy of Peace and Tolerance.”

The concert, presented by USD Hagshama and The Petach Tikva Committee of Chicago Sister Cities International Program, starts at 7 p.m. at the Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E. Washington Street.

I got a chance to sit down with the show’s talented young Israeli artists yesterday as they arrived in Chicago—the last stop on their three week tour of the US—to learn a little bit about each of their lives and music careers,  and how being on one of Israel’s most popular television shows made them instantly famous!

Israela Asago

“My family came from a small village in Ethiopia. Before I was born, they escaped and decided to make aliyah to Israel,” says Israela Asago, a competitor on the fourth season of “Kochav Nolad.” The singer, who will soon be turning 28, says she has been singing since she was four or five years old. She is currently working on an album of pop songs and consistently touring with Israel’s top artists.

Moran Gamliel

Born in Israel, 29-year-old Moran Gamliel says he has been singing for as long as he can remember. He began his own band in high school and then served in the IDF’s Educational Music Corp. in what he calls a “military band.” After the army, Gamliel decided to try out for “Kochav Nolad” and made it to the semifinals. He released his first album shortly afterwards and currently has two songs in the Top 10 in Israel, one of which was number one. He describes his music as “soft rock and a bit of pop.” Check out one of his songs here.

Boris Soltanov

Born in the Former Soviet Union, Boris Soltanov came to Israel at the age of 12 when his family decided to make aliyah. A musician from a young age, Soltanov, now 26, joined a band in high school and his music career took off from there. Though a teenage immigrant, Soltanov mastered Hebrew, joined the IDF and managed to break into the Israeli music scene at a young age. “In the middle of my army service I saw this commercial about this show, it was the first season,” Soltanov says. He tried out, made it to the semifinals of the first season and became part what quickly became the most popular show on Israeli television. He describes his music as “pop, but also classic. My roots definitely still are there.”

For all three of these singers, being on Israel’s version of “Idol” has opened up many new doors, including the opportunity to tour the US, visiting many cities for the first time.

“We’re excited because it’s a beautiful opportunity for us to see different places in our tour,” Soltanov says. “We’re blessed, I will say, to perform to show ourselves and still see the world. One of my main reasons to come here was to use this opportunity to travel a little bit and to see the US.”

According to the singers, tomorrow night’s show will be a bit slower paced and more acoustic than the regular concert these artists perform around the world—which features more upbeat, high energy pop music—but the message is still the same.

“The whole idea is just to bring today’s Israeli music to show this Israeli culture which is not really known to most of the people around the world,” Soltanov says. “Even if we’re performing in front of Jewish students, still people all around the world are not really familiar with Israel. We’re trying to bring this little bit of an educational message (to people) that (Israel) is much more than desert or those crazy things that they’re hearing in the news.

The main message is to show a different Israel--you know what, to show the real Israel.”

During the show, the three artists also share their personal stories and answer questions from the audience following their performance.

“We still do what we love to do,” Asago says, “we sing!”

Cosponsors for Wednesday’s concert include: American Zionist Movement, Birthright Israel NEXT, Chicago Sister Cities International Program, Consulate General of Israel, Israel Aliyah Center, The Israel House, JCRC's Israel Initiative, Jewish Agency for Israel, Jewish United Fund/Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago and USD/Hagshama.

Questions? Contact Aimee Weiss at  aimeew@jafi.org or check out the event on  Facebook .

Around the time that Jewish writer Jillian Straus turned 30, she noticed a lot of her friends complaining to her about their relationship troubles for hours over the phone.

Like her friends, Straus says she, too, didn’t have a clue how to find love, despite her parents’ 40-plus years of being happily married. She felt that her busy career and social life entertained her for much of the time, and yet she felt lonely. “The girls on “Sex and the City” would sneer at me if they knew,” she writes in her book. “The feminist in me did not want to let myself fall prey to the specious belief that I couldn’t be happy without a man in my life.”

Straus began pondering why her generation (Generation X) was encountering so many obstacles in its search for love and commitment, in contrast to her parents’ Baby Boomer generation. For instance, a third of men and nearly one-fourth of women between the ages of 30 and 34 have never been married, nearly four times the rate of the same demographic during the 1970s, according to Straus’s research.

So Straus—a Los Angeles native who relocated to Chicago for 12 years, where she attended Northwestern University and worked on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and then finally settled in New York—traveled around the country looking for answers. She interviewed 100 Gen Xers, men and women between the ages of 25 and 39, in metropolises around the country, specifically Los Angeles, Chicago, Minneapolis, Dallas, and New York, about their quest to find love and commitment.

In her research, she observed a variety of types of people, but most with a shared attitude that made them part of the “Unhooked Generation,” a generation so “hooked up” in terms of instantaneous communication and technology, yet distant—“unhooked”—emotionally from one another. She compiled her interviews and research into her 2006 book called “Unhooked Generation,” (Hyperion books).

While writing the book, Straus met her future husband. “It was a very New York story,” says Straus. She was out dining with her girlfriend one night at a small Manhattan restaurant, the tables crowded close together. She and her friend were exclaiming how they couldn’t eat another bite of their meal when a man, who turned out to be her future husband, leaned over and struck up a conversation with them about the food. “A lot of people think they have to go online or put all this effort into dating, but I learned from my experience that you can meet someone anywhere,” she explains. The couple married three years ago and Straus gave birth to their daughter over the summer.

Straus worries that her generation is trying to “meet” their soul mates instantly, rather than “make” a soul mate with someone they’ve gotten to know and dated for a while. She writes in her book, “Ultimately, I learned that true love is not a chemical reaction, or a wish list. True love is a daily practice—the daily practice of being open to it.”

Oy! recently sat down for a phone interview with Straus about the “Unhooked Generation,” the added challenges that Jewish Gen Xers face in their search for love, and how Gen Xers differ from Baby Boomers in their approach to finding love.

 
Oy!Chicago: What inspired you to write the book?
Jillian Straus: I was single, like many of my male and female friends, who were young professionals, who had good jobs and active social lives. They were attractive people, who weren’t necessarily at a loss for dates. The common denominator was that we were all having trouble finding the one… It seemed like there was something larger [going on], a generational thing.

You refer in the book to certain influences that often create obstacles in one’s search for true love. Tell me about some of these influences and some of the trends you found among the Gen Xers you interviewed.
I thought I was going to see a trend among men and a trend among women. I thought the men would be commitment-phobic and the women would want marriage. I was surprised to find that there were just as many women with commitment issues as men, and there were just as many men as women who were really longing for a long-term relationship.

Divorce was a common theme. Either people would say, “I don’t want to have what my parents have because they are divorced” or “I do want to have what my parents have because they’re still married and they seem like such an exception.”

Being very career-minded and independent was a very common theme.

And what I call a “Multiple Choice Culture” was a very common theme that I heard come up with so many people. Why should I choose just one person when there are so many people out there? Or, I would like to settle down with one person but everyone I date seems to have their options open and don’t want to settle down with one person.

There’s also “The Inadvertent Effects of Feminism,” where the women are all about, yes I have a job, I have a career, I make my own money, but I still want a guy who makes a good living. And then the men feel very intimidated because maybe they’re not earning more than the woman or maybe they don’t know what to do on a date. They don’t know whether they should open the door or be the one to call.

All of these factors definitely undermine dating. It was a lot simpler for our parents.

What do you feel is the downside to internet dating?
Many people have found the love of their life on the internet, but for a lot of other people, it creates this idea of endless possibilities and I’m going to keep searching. I’m going to keep looking for someone better, someone taller, someone richer. You can’t order the perfect mate online the way you order your Starbucks coffee with a million specifications—love, chemistry, common values. You only know those kinds of things after you’ve experienced them over time. Everybody doesn’t come in the perfect package. With online dating, you have to meet certain criteria in order for that person to find you, which may rule out the possibility of true love.

In the book, you say that people are trying to find their soul mate rather than make their soul mate once they’ve gotten to know the person they’re dating. Can you expand on that?
You don’t just find your soul mate online. You didn’t find your best friend online. You become friends with someone, you had a connection, you got to know them in a deeper context, you experienced things together, you grew closer, and now you call that person your best friend. If that person applied to be your best friend, you might not ever link up because you might not meet the same criteria in an online profile, yet you could have completely common values and share the things that are really important.

Did you interview many Jewish people for your book, and what are the added challenges that Jews of this generation face in the search for love and commitment? 
I Interviewed a lot of Jewish people, more than the statistical sample of Jewish people in the population. It makes it that much harder for Jewish people because they’re often only looking for someone who is Jewish, in addition to all the other generational factors. One of the big points I make in the book is that you shouldn’t be looking for someone based on a checklist or formal criteria. You should be looking at shared values. So if you have values specific to Judaism, then of course you need to marry someone Jewish. But if your values are not necessarily related to being Jewish and you’re using Jewish as yet another [reason to reject people], then you might be limiting yourself.

You discuss your parents’ long and happy 47 years of marriage in the book. What did you learn from your parents about love and marriage and how has the institution of marriage changed over the years? 
My generation is really looking to be in love, and one of the things that seems to be most important in my parents’ marriage is respect. I think they are in love, but I think it comes from a deeper place. My generation is a little bit immature in terms of the way we want to be in love—myself included. We want butterflies, we want to be swept off our feet, we want that kind of image of falling in love, which is probably created very much by Hollywood. We think that romance is the glue that holds us together because we no longer need marriage, the institution. It’s perfectly acceptable to be divorced… We don’t need marriage because women can pay their own bills. We want it more for companionship. We don’t need it to start a family because we can go to a sperm bank. There’s no “need” for marriage; it’s more looked at as a “choice”… My parents valued the commitment of marriage more than we do. They valued that they have a family together and we don’t want to break that up, and their love grew over time. We’re so impatient in this generation that we don’t take the time to develop the deep love and respect that my parents have.

What are your biggest pieces of advice to single people searching for love?
In my parents’ generation, they were expecting that there would be challenges and the goal would be to go through them together. These days, when there’s a bump in the road involving your spouse, people think, “Wow, maybe if I was with someone else, I wouldn’t be going through these challenges.”

Also, burn the checklist. Happy couples drop their expectations so that they’re open to love when it comes into their lives.

Finally, slow down. This idea of having stars and lightning bolts on the first date and expecting love to happen over night is unrealistic. Love can grow over time. People don’t want anything hard or challenging in the relationship, but going through those hard times together brings us closer. I think our parents’ generation knew that much better than we do.

My sons Ryder, BJ and Phoenix are an absolute joy –
but someone was still missing.

Since I was 14 years old, I've wanted to adopt. I remember being in my room, listening to the radio. They were doing a story on the crisis with China's children and I was dumb-founded. In that moment, my dream of adoption began.

So how do you pursue something like adoption in eighth grade? You don't, technically. But like the kid who decides to be a doctor, you live your kid life, and you have this adult dream on the horizon that you slowly move towards. I never faltered. My dream morphed (e.g., the when, the where) but in my heart, it was always going to happen.

On my third date with my now husband, I asked what he thought about adoption. Not marriage. Adoption. We were at the Botanic Gardens by the little Japanese house, by the trees, by the water. He was 24 years old. He shrugged and said, "Um, why not?" Good answer, because if he had answered "no", he would not have become my husband. Maybe that sounds harsh, but would you stay with a person who wouldn't, who couldn’t support and share your life dreams?

I can look back on that moment and many moments since then and see how freaking lucky I was. It was a weird question to ask in general and specifically on like, a third date. But he gave a good answer which worked out, since I’m in love with him.

So life went on. We got engaged a year later, married the year after that. I wanted kids right away. My husband, not so much. Kids? Yes, but not immediately. Five years passed and we had our first child. Twenty-one months later came number two, and twenty-two months later number three. Suddenly, we had a loud, joyful chaos – three maniac boys, two dogs and a house in the burbs. Life was good. Life was great. But life was incomplete. Someone was missing.

We both wanted to pursue adoption internationally. For me, since I first heard that radio broadcast about children in a far away land, I imagined a child in my life that didn't look like me, came from somewhere different, came from somewhere I wanted to celebrate.

The journey to that "where" was never a straight line for us. There were places we ruled out immediately and places that ruled us out. Wherever our child was to come from, we had to be not just willing but passionate about learning more. We had to be committed to incorporating the culture, language, art, food and essence of our child's homeland into our home the best we possibly could. Through bumps and curves and for a number of reasons, our hearts landed us in Ethiopia.

Two years ago January, I called my friend who is from Ethiopia, and asked her to tell me, truthfully, how she felt about an Ethiopian child being raised in an almost completely white suburb by Jewish hippy folks. I shared with her every anxiety I had about it. She laughed and said we were a wonderful family. She said she knew the kind of love we had in our home. She said she thought it was meant to be. I cried tears of joy in the Trader Joe's parking lot. The simplicity of her answer gave me courage.

It only took four months to submit all our initial paperwork and complete our home study. And then the real work began. On the surface, all we had to do was wait. And wait. And wait. Until July, when we received our referral and our daughter’s beautiful face came into focus. And you know what? It was a really long wait. Because I've been waiting for this child since I was 14 years old.

On October 9, 2009, Mike and I finally met our daughter. At first she just looked and looked at us. And we looked and looked at her. But when I crouched down, opened my arms and said, "nay" – "come here" in Amaharic – she came right to me in her pink sparkly shoes and I hugged her. And with that, we became a forever family.

With our daughter, Fray, last week in Ethiopia. This weekend, Fray came
home to Glencoe and met her big brothers – more on that in a future Oy!

Jordan Karlik was one of the 45,000 people who participated in the cold Chicago marathon this past Sunday.  A newbie marathoner Karlik didn’t just want to run, but to also raise money for a good cause— the Jewish United Fund.

“I wanted to raise money for some charity, said Karlik.  “And being a Jew is a very important part of my life so there was no other option in my opinion.  Coupled with that, I knew that fundraising [at JUF] is down this year and other events have left Jews and our agencies supporting Jews in financial trouble [so I knew they needed extra support.]

A native New Yorker, Karlik has been living in Chicago the past few years.  Always supportive of Jewish organizations, he grew up attending his local JCC and giving to UJA (New York Federation.)  Karlik became involved in Federation when he joined a 'next generation business owner' group that meets monthly.  But it wasn’t until the marathon that he became passionate about the cause.

“Like I said in my email to my friends and family, JUF needs the money now more than ever so they can help so many Jews in need in Chicago and around the world.”

In the end, Karlik raised more than $2,600 for JUF from 31 different contributors.  He also completed his “other” goal finishing the race in under four hours!  He said the best part of participating in the marathon was running for a good cause and “crossing the finish line of course!”

For generations Jews celebrated the storied baseball careers of Sandy Koufax and Hank Greenberg. Since then Jews have longed for more Jewish athletes. And in 2009 we look around the MLB, NFL, and NBA and see several Jews atop their sports. In Boston, Kevin Youkilis trots the bases after each home run; Jordan Farmar of the Los Angeles Lakers hoisted the NBA Championship trophy; and Igor Olshansky makes bone-crushing sacks for the Dallas Cowboys. But Jewish sports fans want to know who is next? Who is the next big thing in the Jewish sports world? Well here they are:

Baseball:

Isaac Davis – New York Mets (Minor Leagues)
Originally, drafted by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in 2005, Davis decided to go to college and play for the Arizona State Sun Devils. In 2008 Davis became the 18th overall pick by the Mets. He is naturally a first baseman, but he can also play either corner outfield position. This year in Binghamton he batted .309 with 13 HRs, 43 RBIs in 55 games. Davis is our best chance right now of the seeing the next Hank Greenberg.

Jason Kipnis – Cleveland Indians (Minor Leagues)
Kipnis grew up in Northbrook, Illinois. He was the 63rd overall pick in the 2009 draft. In his first taste of Minor league ball with the Mahoning Valley Scrappers, Kipnis had a .306 Avg. with 34 hits in 29 games. Last season for the Arizona State Sun Devils he batted .380 with 66 Rs, 14 HRs, 65 RBIs, and 144 TBs. The way he plays reminds me of a young Ian Kinsler.

Football:

Taylor Mays – University of Southern California (College)
Mays has started at free safety since his freshman year for the USC Trojans. He is a two time All-American and in his junior season was a Jim Thorpe Award Finalists. In his first three seasons he has played in three Rose Bowls and won all three (one against my Illini). Mock drafts boards have him going as high as fifth in this year’s draft. He has the potential to be the greatest Jewish football player ever (including Sid Luckman).

Basketball:

Rosalyn Gold-Onwude – Stanford University (College)
She plays for one of the best universities in the country. Gold-Onwude was named Pac-10 All-Defensive Team honorable mention.  Last season she saw action in all 38 games, averaging 3.8 ppg, 90 apg and had 32 steals. She does a little bit of everything on the court.

Jon Scheyer – Duke University (College)
Scheyer is definitely the best Jewish college basketball player in the country. Last season he averaged 14.9 ppg, 2.8 apg, and 3.6 rpg. When you play almost 33 minutes per game for coach Mike Krzyzewski you must be a pretty good basketball player. Scheyer has a chance of being a solid role player in the NBA.

Naama Shafir – University of Toledo (College)
Originally from Israel, Shafir is the first female Orthodox Jew to earn NCAA I scholarship. She has an Honorable-mention All-MAC and All-Freshman Team selection. Shafir averaged 11.7 ppg, 4.5 apg, 2.8 rpg and 1.4 steals.

For more information on these athletes and all different sorts of Jewish sports information check out www.thegreatrabbino.com.

Up until a few years ago, Arik Luck had been living the typical life of a struggling actor in New York City, working in shows off-off Broadway, singing in musicals, acting in indie films, and waiting tables.

But, then, after a lot of soul-searching, he made the tough choice to switch career tracks, and blend his performance talents with a new line of work.

This summer, Luck relocated to the Chicago area and started his best and most challenging gig yet—as the cantor at Beth Emet The Free Synagogue, in Evanston. On the bimah, Cantor Luck has a soulful style, invoking strong Eastern European traditions and influences from the Jewish camping movement.

Before moving to the Midwest, Luck graduated from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR) in New York City, where he received his masters in sacred music and cantorial investitures. In cantorial school, he was the recipient of the Israel Goldstein Award, the honor given to a student who demonstrates the highest degree of fluency in traditional worship styles. In addition to singing, Luck also plays piano, guitar, percussion, and produces and directs theater. Back in 2000, Luck received his Bachelor of Fine Arts from Carnegie Mellon University’s School of Drama in acting and musical theatre. After several years out east, Luck, his wife, Rachel, and now their baby son, Yedidyah, have settled in Evanston.

They always planned on naming their son Yedidyah, which means “Beloved by God,” but the name’s meaning grew even more special and fitting after their son was born one Shabbat evening, because one of the first pieces of liturgy recited on Shabbat evening is a poem called Yedid Nefesh, or “Beloved of the soul.”

Originally from Milwaukee, Luck grew up in a large, close-knit family that includes three sisters and one brother who, between them, have eight children of their own. Full disclosure—he’s my cousin too!

On Friday, Oct. 2, Beth Emet celebrated Luck’s installation. Debbie Friedman, the Jewish singer/songwriter and Luck’s friend and former teacher at HUC-JIR, joined the congregation in Luck’s honor. In addition to Luck joining Beth Emet, the synagogue selected Andrea London as its third senior rabbi in its 60-year history. London, who has served as Beth Emet’s associate and associate senior rabbi since 2000, will become senior rabbi in July of 2010, the day after senior rabbi, Rabbi Peter Knobel ends 30 years in the position to become rabbi emeritus.

Just before the High Holidays, I caught up with my cousin to talk about switching careers, his new congregation, and what makes a piece of music Jewish.

Oy!Chicago: How do you like your new job so far?
Arik Luck: Beth Emet is a very open place with so much diversity in Jewish practice. Everything and everyone is welcome. The congregation has been open to what I can contribute musically. We did an all-musical Shabbat for two weeks in a row and I got a lot of positive feedback. It’s also very new because I’ve just graduated from school and I’m thankful to have a job, especially in this economy.

How do you characterize your cantorial style?
In cantorial school, we always grappled with the question of what makes a piece of music Jewish? Is it the mode that it’s composed in? Is it the person who wrote it? That would make “White Christmas” and “West Side Story” Jewish. If you’re using a piece of liturgy or a piece from the Torah, does that automatically make it Jewish? I make my decisions on what I’m going to present [to the congregants] based, first and foremost, on what moved me. If it doesn’t stir something inside me, how can I stir something inside of the congregation? I don’t automatically dismiss any genre, but most of my music tends to be Hebrew. I’m trying to communicate the liturgy through music. My background is in theater and there’s a similar objective in communicating a piece of text…The tune has to work within the context of the text and, within the context of your objective to achieve, in this case, a sense of spiritual connectedness.

What made you switch careers away from theater?
The theater will always be very near and dear to me. I’m very glad that I lived in New York and pursued theater for the time that I did because I know that I’ll never grow old with that gnawing question of why I didn’t ever pursue this dream. Any actor, whether successful or one that doesn’t have much luck, will tell you that the reality of acting is very difficult. What really switched the buttons for me was when I decided that ultimately, down the road, I really wanted a big family. I was working with or just encountering actors who were twice my age who maybe had one child, maybe had two, and found it extremely difficult to do what they felt was right in raising them, sending them to school, etc., particularly in New York. I also worked in my share of restaurants and it allowed for a lot of soul searching. I decided that I had to make a change and it wasn’t easy.

What sparked your interest in being a cantor?
Once I made that decision to switch careers, I had to decide what I wanted to do. Everyone in our generation has to grapple with that at some point. I see my friends struggle through it all the time. I struggled with it intensely for about six months. So I tried to make a game out of it. I would show up to a catering job and say, ‘Okay, whenever my mind drifts, while I’m serving people their chicken or fish, I just am going to focus on what my life would be like if I were a drama teacher or if I were a social studies teacher or if I were a lawyer.’ I would pick something different each day. I also spent a day where I imagined if I were a cantor. Ultimately, that’s not what led me to decide to become one, but it really let me sort everything out in my head…

…Then, I began to think about what really makes me happy, what I love doing in life.  Three of the things on the top of my list were singing, Judaism, and teaching.  It occurred to me that the cantorate would be a natural culmination of all three of these things.  After entering HUC-JIR, what I discovered was that this wasn’t just a “natural culmination,” but something that I absolutely loved.

What do you love most about being a cantor?
I love the Eastern European tradition, nusach, the golden age of chazanut (cantorial music), which was the turn of the century up until 1950. I listen to these cantors of old and get totally inspired. I also come out of the Jewish camping movement. While I do see a big difference between a cantor and a song leader, I still feel inspiration from the camping movement.

What was your upbringing like Jewishly growing up in Milwaukee?
Growing up, our home was very Jewish. We always observed Shabbat in the house. Most of my friends were not Jewish and they loved it and would come over for Shabbat dinner. It was always very happy and celebratory. We would always play Jewish music during dinner, and after dinner everyone would dance. There was a sweetness to that and, even though at the time I had no intention of going into Judaism professionally or becoming a cantor, that sweetness always remained in my consciousness, and ultimately when I decided to become a cantor, it certainly made sense, given my family background and my connection with Judaism and my love for music and teaching.

Are you excited for your first High Holidays at your synagogue?
At Beth Emet, it’s very important to me that people have a sense of consistency on the high holidays, especially my first year. I am learning a lot of new music because I don’t want to change anything right off the bat. So that’s an amount of work, but I enter the challenge eagerly.

Chicago Jewish playwright/filmmaker James Sherman

Years ago, in acting class, James Sherman met a fellow student actor who worked for an escort agency, where he pretended to be someone’s Jewish boyfriend for an evening with her parents.

A Chicago Jewish playwright and now a screenwriter and director, Sherman never forgot about that silly ruse the actor had told him about. Years later, Sherman wrote a play called “Beau Jest,” a romantic comedy stemming from the escort service plotline coupled with some of his own issues with his parents. “I don’t know if I was actually in therapy or just reading books about how to make peace with my parents,” he said, “but this play, like my others, deals with whatever is going on in my life at the time.”

Sherman, who grew up in Skokie and Lincolnwood and now lives in Chicago, recently adapted “Beau Jest ” into a feature film that will run at the Wilmette Theatre from Thursday, Oct. 1 through Thursday, Oct. 8.

The play and the movie tell the story of a young Chicago Jewish school teacher (played by Robyn Cohen) who is dating a nice guy with one flaw—he isn’t Jewish. Sarah tells her parents she is no longer seeing her boyfriend, appropriately named Chris Cringle, but secretly continues to date him. To keep her mom (played by Lainie Kazan) from setting her up with anymore “nice Jewish boys,” Sarah invents the perfect Jewish boyfriend. After a while, her parents insist on meeting him. So she hires a non-Jewish actor named Bob, from an escort service, to play the role of her Jewish doctor boyfriend at a dinner with her family.

Sarah Goldman (played by Robyn Cohen), Mrs. Goldman (played by Laine Kazan) and Bob, playing the role of the perfect Jewish boyfriend

Both the play and the movie have that “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” effect, according to Sherman, where people of all ethnicities can relate to the premise of trying to impress one’s family with the perfect significant other. “I hear a lot of people say, ‘This is just like my family,’ but they happen to be Korean or Italian or African American,” he said.

Twenty years ago, the play “Beau Jest” debuted at the Victory Gardens Theater in Chicago, where it ran for nearly a year. In a “romantic comedy” of their own, as he puts it, Sherman met his wife, cast as the original Sarah Goldman in the first production of the play. They later had two sons, now ages 18 and 14. The play was produced off-Broadway, running for three years, as well as at regional theaters and in high school and college productions around the country.

Sherman always dreamed of adapting his play into a movie, but had trouble finding producers. For years, he met with Hollywood producers, some of whom were Jewish, who argued that the script was “too Jewish.” Ultimately, he found a Mormon producer in Salt Lake City, Utah, who was a big fan of the play, to produce the movie. Shot in 2006 in Provo, Utah, and in Chicago, the movie hit the Jewish film festival circuit around the country and now comes to town for its Chicago premiere.

“When we designed the original poster, we put a slug line that said it’s a ‘comedy for the whole family,’ and we crossed out ‘for’ and replaced it with ‘about,’ said Sherman. “It has an appeal for young people going through issues with their parents and for parents trying to figure out why their kids are so stressed out all the time.”

Barhydt (right) with his cousin, Allie Frankel, and Peter Bul, a Lost Boy of Sudan at a Darfur walk in October of 2008.

This summer, JVibe, the magazine for Jewish teens, gave out its first-ever “18 under 18” awards honoring extraordinary teens, and two of those special teens hail from the Chicago area—not too shabby! Oy! caught up with one of the local award-winners, 18-year-old Ethan Barhydt, recognized for his work as an advocate for the people of Darfur, before he begins a whirlwind year of internships and travel to East Africa.

Though issues of genocide are his main concern, Barhydt, who just graduated from Deerfield High School this year, said he finds time for several other activities and hobbies. In high school, he was part of student congress, debate club and the executive producer of the school’s television show. He loves music, and plays any instrument he can get his hands on, including guitar, banjo and piano. He is also an environmental activist.

Barhydt said his Jewish upbringing as part of a Humanistic congregation has a lot to do with his passion for issues of genocide. “The biggest effect that my Jewish heritage has had on me was when I was in this Jewish class on the Holocaust with Dick Strauss (at my temple). Throughout the class, he emphasized the concepts of upstanders and bystanders, that if it hadn’t been for the millions of bystanders in Germany than Hitler wouldn’t have been able to kill as many as he did. And at the same time he emphasized the heroic upstanders who did take action and were able to save a lot of lives. He told us repeatedly that if we just took one thing out of the class, that should be it—that we need to be upstanders for eternity.”

On the final day of class, Barhydt said they were handed an unexpected final exam, but instead of a test, the paper simply had the following message: ‘Your final exam is how you conduct the rest of your lives. Can it happen again? The answer is up to you and to your choices. Will you choose to get involved or will you be a bystander… That is your challenge. The answer is up to you.’

Barhydt still has that final exam hanging in his bedroom as a reminder. “I think the most powerful part of that is … ‘the answer is up to you.’ It’s both empowering and daunting to note that issues of genocide and crimes against humanity are a responsibility that I think all of us bear,” he said. “From that point and through that experience, I committed myself to being an upstander, primarily by fighting against the genocide in Darfur, and I plan for the rest of my life to fight against crimes against humanity wherever they take place.”

He stuck to his word, becoming involved in Amnesty International and Facing History and Ourselves in high school, and it was there that he first began to focus his attention on Darfur. During his sophomore year, he facilitated a collaboration among schools to work together, which would ultimately lead to the founding of Youth United for Darfur. Within a few weeks, he had 10 schools on a conference call organizing the first Youth United for Darfur conference. After that first event in April of 2008, there was a lot of momentum and enthusiasm about continuing, so in October, the group organized a benefit concert which raised about $3,000 for the Sudanese community center in Chicago.

“At that point we really established Youth United for Darfur and decided we wanted to do something even bigger.” So, in February of 2009, they began planning the Youth United for Darfur rally. On April 19, over 500 people representing more than 50 student groups in Chicago, along with representatives from Congress, and the Lost Boys of Sudan, gathered at Federal Plaza, to call on President Obama to act now to promote peace in Darfur. At the event, Youth United for Darfur raised over $17,000 to support the Enough Project's Darfur Dream Team Sister School program and the Sudanese Community Center in Chicago.

“That was a huge success to garner so much support from the Chicago community to be able to financially support a school almost half of a (Sudanese) school and to be able to show our support for the Sudanese community in Chicago.” Today, Youth United for Darfur is comprised of 40 student groups in the Chicago, and though Barhydt won’t be returning to Chicago for several years, he hopes the group will continue to be an effective force against genocide. “I think what’s really important is that we continue to increase the number of upstanders in the world and create a consistent constituency against genocide so that even when the genocide in Darfur ends, as (other) conflicts continue to arise that we have people already in place ready to take action,” Barhydt said.

In the meantime, Barhydt will soon be headed to Washington D.C. to intern for an organization that works in the political system to fight against genocide and east African conflict where he hopes to gain experience and learn more about political advocacy before he hopefully travels to east Africa himself. Next year, Barhydt will attend Macalester College in Minnesota where he plans to study international relations with a focus, not surprisingly, on east Africa.

So how does it feel to be one of JVibe’s 18 under 18 teens?

“It’s wonderful to be recognized,” Barhydt said. “I’m very appreciative of JVibe doing this because I think it does two very important things: hopefully it spreads the message about genocide and empowers students to get involved in issues that they’re passionate about. I definitely think that they’ve inspired a lot of people by featuring 18 youth who have gotten involved, and I feel lucky to be a part of that.”

In this season of reflection, as we look back on the past and look forward to a fresh start in the Jewish New Year, Cindy Sher offers first date tips to guys. Then, Jewish Chicago single guy David Cohen responds with a few dos and don’ts of his own for the ladies.

First date tips for men

By Cindy Sher

Over the course of my single years, in between relationships, I’ve gone on a lot of first dates. And trust me, first dates aren’t always as magical as they sound to people who don’t go on a lot of them.

If you met the man or woman of your dreams on your first and only first date—do people like you really exist?—you may not relate to my adventures in first dating.

For instance, my dear married friends with babies can’t quite relate. They lovingly try to talk up my pending dates with potential suitors; maybe some of these “mom” friends are even envious, living vicariously through me and my singledom.

Through my dating years, I’ve met many lovely Jewish men—mensches. Even though it didn’t work out with us, I know they’ll make wonderful husbands and fathers some day, and I wish these men many blessings.

But my column isn’t directed at them.

What follows is advice to some of the other men I’ve gone on first dates with, who weren’t, shall we say, my perfect match. In fact, we never went out again.

Now, maybe there are guys out there who didn’t love me so much on our first date either. And maybe, one day, I’ll even read about some of my own blunders on their blogs and Facebook walls. But for today, you’ll have to settle for “Cindy’s dating wisdom.”

Finding a date 
In order to even get to the date, there’s often an Internet dating site, like JDate, to conquer first. Beware of the following steps in creating your dating profile:

Don’t tell me you’re looking for a woman who’s just as comfortable in sweats or a bathrobe as she is in a ball gown and high heels. The only way that would ever happen is if a designer comes out with a terrycloth line of strapless dresses and Nike heels.

Don’t write that you’re looking for a woman who cares about “an extremely healthy lifestyle.” We know that’s code for you want to date a “size 0.” Chances are you’re not really all that concerned about your future date’s iron deficiency or red blood cell count.

Do use good judgment in choosing your accompanying photo. What’s with the woman posing next to you that looks like your girlfriend? She’s cute, she’s about your age so she’s clearly not your mom or grandma, and you guys look like you’re having a ball together. Why not just date her? Or maybe she’s your sister?

The first date
Mazel tov! You’ve made it to the first date. What follows are first-date dos and don’ts, each nugget of advice based on my array of my real-life first dates.

Do get a little excited about your life; if you’re not, fake it. One man told me within 30 seconds of meeting him that “there is nothing interesting” about him and he leads “a really boring life.” Now I ask you, does that make me want to jump at the chance to share the rest of the date, let alone a lifetime, with Mr. Boring?

Do be kind to the waiter or waitress. Nothing reveals your character more than how you treat your server. Striking up a conversation with him/her earns extra brownie points with me.

Don’t try to sneak into a movie on a first date. Seriously, this actually happened. I realize that the cost of our two tickets will not make the difference of whether or not the Cineplex conglomerate or Adam Sandler go broke, but it might make the difference of whether or not you and I go out again.

Do offer to pay for my $2.43 tall hot cocoa with whipped cream at Starbucks—if you asked me out. This isn’t about you shelling out a lot of money. I don’t care about going to a fancy steakhouse for dinner and I will gladly pay on future dates. But deliberating over which one of us owes the extra three pennies in front of the Starbucks barista isn’t flirtatious, romantic, or sexy.

Don’t tell me tacky jokes about cheap Jews or Jewish American Princesses. They’re not funny.

Do, on the other hand, feel free to make me laugh. And whatever you do, don’t take yourself too seriously. We’re on a first date and first dates are, by their very nature, awkward and funny.
 
Then again, what do I know? I’m still single. Maybe you should talk to one of my “mom” friends—or better yet, her husband. He made it to the second date.

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First date tips for women

By David Cohen

Finding a date
Don’t have your only picture be one that’s taken from far away or with sunglasses on. Yes, you do look great in your big ol’ Nicole Richie shades but I really just want to see what your face looks like. You're not in the witness protection program; you're just slightly embarrassed about being on JDate. It’s 2009; Internet dating is now mainstream. There is no shame. (Well, maybe a little shame.)

Don't describe yourself by using whimsical, sensory, observations like, "I love the smell of leather" or "Fresh snowflakes on my window ledge make me happy.” This isn't a poetry contest. Stick to describing your personality, your interests, and your priorities in life.
 
Do include a picture that shows me your figure. I know, I know, “men are so shallow.” Guilty. It has to do with evolution, but I’m looking for my soul mate. Before I contact you, I need to know if we might have chemistry together, or I’m likely to pass on your profile. If it makes you feel better, I have my skinny little chicken legs out there on the Internet for all the world to see.

Do give me your full attention on our first phone call. There’s nothing worse than trying to have a meaningful conversation with someone distracted while she’s in the check-out line at Jewel-Osco. You’re not making a good first impression on me or that cashier in front of you. Just ask to call me back when you’re home, after you’ve put away your soy milk.

The first date
Don't dominate the conversation. It's a known fact that women talk more than men so I expect this on a certain level. Let me get a few words in too. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to talk my ear off when we’re in an exclusive relationship.

Do reach for your purse when the check comes. I love this move even if I sense you’re bluffing me. I understand I’m expected to pay for the date and I’m happy to do it but I’m still charmed by the gesture if a woman offers to pay her share of the tab. I’ll always decline it. If you’re not into this tactic, no problem. But without a doubt, thank me at the end of the date for the drinks and/or dinner.
 
Do flirt with me if you like me and want me to ask you out again. Make it super obvious. If we made it to a first date, then your odds of a second date just went up significantly. The odds decrease, though, if I’ve gotten no sense that you’ve enjoyed my company. Tell me you love these ill-fitting pants that I got at T.J. Maxx. Or, reach for my hands and tell me how great my rough cuticles are. Give me something to go on. Fidgeting with your hair and good eye contact just isn’t cutting it.
 
Don't contact me after the first date no matter what your girlfriends say. If you flirted with me, then you'll hear from me—unless I’m just not that into you. Sending me an email, text, or voicemail, even just to thank me for the date, makes it too easy for me. I want to feel like I had to work at it…a little.

David Cohen currently resides in Chicago's Lakeview neighborhood. He agrees with Mom, friends, co-workers, and you that he is way too picky.

Hollywood likes to portray people living the double life. Usually the hero has an average job by day and is a crime fighter by night. Too bad no one told Tinseltown about Alan Veingrad. In one life, Alan spent seven years as an offensive lineman for the Green Bay Packers and Super Bowl champion Dallas Cowboys. His alter ego, Shlomo, is a 46-year-old family man who happens to be a devoted Orthodox Jew.

Veingrad, who now prefers to be called Shlomo, his Hebrew name, will be speaking about his experience as a Jew in the NFL at 4 p.m. on Sunday, Sept. 13 at the Torah Learning Center in Northbrook. Just in time for football season to start, Oy!Chicago got a “pregame” chance to talk to Shlomo last month about everything from pregame prayers to playing in a Super Bowl…

Oy!Chicago: How would you describe your Jewish upbringing?
Shlomo Veingard: I grew up like the majority of Jews living in America. You grew up and you had your mother lighting candles for Chanukah. You may have made latkes…and you’re bar mitzvahed [and it] is kind of like the exit out of Judaism instead of the entrance into Judaism. By my house there wasn’t a lot of inspiration or a lot of discussion around what was going on in the Torah around various holiday times.

It wasn’t until years after that I was invited to my cousin’s house for a traditional Shabbos meal. He then asked if I would be interested in going to a Torah class, and I said I would go to one; again, I didn’t have much interest. I didn’t really know what it was all about. I always believed in God; however I was somewhat removed, playing football all those years and not being in a Jewish environment, so I went to one Torah class and it was somewhat enlightening.

Your faith grew from there?
I started to go and I started to look into it and I realized there is a lot of energy and a lot of power and a lot of inspiration that one can get from learning about what was in the Torah.

Five years ago you went to Israel and came back a changed man, what happened?
At the time I was on the fence, or kind of walking from one side of the bridge to another, meaning I was starting to dabble into making changes in my family’s life, becoming more observant. I went to Israel, and when I was in Israel I decided I would put on a yarmulke and put on a pair of tzitzit (fringes worn on the corners of a four-cornered garment; the garment and fringes together). I wasn’t sure what I would do when I came back to the states after I was there for two weeks. I just decided when I was there that I would explore and try and see how it felt. When I came back to the states it just stayed on.

Lets turn to the gridiron. How did your religion impact your life off the field?
Off the field there was religion in the locker room, and there was always a religious or spiritual leader from the Christian faith associated with every team I was ever involved with. They would reach out to everybody in the locker room. Before games and after games there would be the Lord’s Prayer said. Many times before practice in my high school days we would say the Lord’s Prayer. Obviously, being the only Jew, I wouldn’t participate in the prayer, but still, being a teammate I would gather around with my team and they would say their prayer and I would speak to God and ask God for certain things to help me through this competition that we were about to face, or thank Him for letting me walk off the field at the end of the competition.

Did the players and coaches ever ask you questions about your religion?
I never got any questions from the coaches about my religion. I’m not sure the coaches knew what religion I was or if it ever played a role. I think generally coaches don’t care where you are from, what your background is or what your faith is as long as you are able to perform on a certain level on game day and you are a good teammate. My teammates, on the other hand, in the college days, going to East Texas State, 65 miles northeast of Dallas—which is known as the Bible Belt—these are really spiritual people of the Christian faith, churchgoers. They would at times ask me about Judaism…I had to become more of an educator to these people because many times they had never met a Jew before and they would ask me about the Jewish faith. I had such a poor background growing up with the Jewish faith that I didn’t have a lot of the answers.

How many other Jews were there in the NFL in a given year?
It seems to me that the number is six. Every year it is anywhere between five to eight…It is interesting to note that I always knew who the other Jews were. How did I know? Somebody across the country would send me a newspaper from a Jewish-affiliated paper that would list the Jews playing in the National Football League. When I would play against another team, after the game we would always look for each other and say hello to each other. I am quite sure that somebody would also send that other guy the list and he knew who the Jews were like I did.

What was it like to be in a Super Bowl?
It was an amazing experience, the two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl and all that goes along with it.

Photo credit Gil Leora

By day they are your average teachers, social workers, attorneys, bartenders, photographers, nurses, government workers, businesswomen, authors, or personal trainers, but when they put on their skates and don amusingly fierce names like Athena DeCrime and Hoosier Mama, they become the women of the roller derby.

I experienced the thrill of what this sport has to offer for the first time just a week and a half ago. It is fast and furious, while displaying the incredible agility and constant strategic athleticism of the players. You can watch roller derby in action on the silver screen in Drew Barrymore's film Whip It! coming out in early October, but you can also catch the real deal here in Chicago!

I got to chat with two of the Jewish members of Chicago’s roller derby teams—Donna Party, a member of the Windy City Rollers All-Stars, the number two ranked team in the country, and Tina Flay, (whose number 55 was inspired by her love for its Japanese translation, "go Jew go!") an up-and-coming player who has been training intensely to make her way onto a main team next season and is currently on the league's farm team, the Haymarket Rioters.

Left: Donna Party, photo credit Mariah Karson
Right: Tina Flay, photo credit Jamie DiVecchio Ramsay

David Reinwald: How did you get involved with roller derby?
Donna Party: I met a hair stylist who was one of the original captains of the Double Crossers (home team) in early 2005. She told me she was part of a new group, the Windy City Rollers, and invited me to their first game at the Congress Theater. I walked into the theater and right as the game began, I knew I had to join and be a part of the roller derby resurgence. I volunteered at all the bouts, bought skates, practiced with some friends who also wanted to join, and tried out in February of 2006. That season so many girls wanted to join that there were tryouts, call backs, interviews, then finally at the beginning of March we were notified that we had made it onto the league as "Skater Tots" (what we used to call new members of the league).

Tina Flay: I found a flyer for an All-Star game last summer and decided to check it out. Within five minutes of watching I knew it was something I absolutely had to do. Two days later I was on skates for the first time in over a decade; and four months later, after training an average of three to four times a week, I tried out and made the league.

What do you like most about roller derby?
Donna: I have met some amazing women in Chicago and around the country, learned about teamwork in ways that I had never experienced before, gotten in the best physical and mental shape of my life, and I have grown into the self-confident woman that I am today.

Tina: The thing I like most is the confidence it's given me  as far as fitness. Growing up I was never fond of sports or gym class, and I exercised, more out of vanity than anything else, but thought of it as a chore. Roller derby has given me a whole new perspective in terms of what my body is capable of doing. I'm more fit than I've ever been, and exercising is now a tool for me to get stronger so I can perform better on the track.

Can you share an offbeat or funny story or two?
Donna: I broke my leg during East Coast Regionals of 2007. We are fortunate enough to have our own medical staff (Mama Vendetta: a nurse, Papa Doc Vendetta: a doctor, and Roe: a physical therapist), so when I came off the track, Mama and Papa told me I had to go to the hospital for X-rays. At the hospital, two of my teammates came to check up on me. I told them things weren't so bad (ended up being broken only in three places) and I would be back on skates in no time. One of the girls handed me an ABC's of derby coloring book, and pointed to the page where a skater was pictured in a hospital room with a cast on her leg and the doctor had his hand on his face looking like "What is wrong with you?" and the caption was, "So, when can I skate?" It made me laugh, but the real answer for me was in six months.

Tina: I've had so many "It's a Small World"-type encounters since I've joined the league, it's uncanny. As soon as I mention WCR someone will say, "Oh, do you know so-and-so? She's my coworker/friend/stylist/cousin/etc!" I even had one of those myself - as it turns out, I met our league founder through my mom long before I even knew what roller derby was.

Photo credit Gil Leora

What type of training and conditioning do you do to keep yourself ready for the sport?
Donna: I am on the All-Stars and the Double Crossers, so I am required to attend at least three to four practices a week, and most of theAll-Stars skate five or six times a week. Each practice is two hours long and they vary from endurance, speed, agility, blocking, awareness, and scrimmage drills. I also train by riding my bicycle everywhere year round, and I do a lot of yoga for strength and flexibility training.

Tina: There's been an emphasis on cross-training this season, so in addition to regular skating practices I've been doing a lot of jogging, weight-lifting, and plyometrics. Recently a split swimming/yoga class was added to our league practice options, so I've been attending that as well.

What would you want to say to your fans and to those who haven't yet experienced roller derby?
Tina: To our fans, I'd like to say thank you for your support, and I hope to see you at our next bout! To those who haven't seen it, I'd like to say you love roller derby, you just don't know it yet! There are still a lot of misconceptions about roller derby out there, such as it's staged or it's just chicks in fishnets beating each other up. Some of our names may be fake, but the action on the track is real; and while it is a contact sport, there's a lot of strategy and skill involved beyond just knocking people over.

Donna: We are a competitive, nationally ranked, all-women sport. Gone are the days of fake fighting and a pre-determined outcome. I would encourage anyone who has not been to a game to check out our website and to come out to our game against Portland on October 17 at UIC Pavilion. The bouts are action packed and when you see an injury like a broken leg, knocked out tooth, or torn rotator cuff, it is all real. We belong to a national organization, the WFTDA (Women's Flat Track Derby Association), are owned and run by the skaters on the league, and rely on the support of members, volunteers, and generous sponsors to make it possible for us to do what we love: play roller derby.

Photo credit Tiffany O'Neill 

I’ve been in a very thoughtful place of late.  The loss of both John Hughes, the passionate chronicler of my adolescence, and Michael Jackson, who I loved right up until he lost his ever loving mind, and whose music defined my entire childhood, put me in a fog of nostalgia.  I see odd vestiges of my youth everywhere, and it isn’t always pretty.  Neon is making a weird fashion comeback, as are shoulder pads, and I really hope it is short lived.  Remakes of 90210 and Melrose Place are on the airwaves.  Hershey is now using Modern English’s anthem of teen longing “I Melt With You” to sell chocolate bars with almonds.  No, really.

It’s official.  I’m old.

Not wrinkly old, or walker old, or get excited about Al Roker old, just old enough that some pleasures are no longer worth the attendant discomforts.  Old enough that I have effectively given up on the adventures of my younger years and to be quite honest, I don’t really miss them.  Glad to have participated, happy for the memories, but not at all sad to be in a place to, in another reference to my past, Just Say No!

One of the places I find myself giving into adulthood is in my eating and socializing.  Once upon a time I wouldn’t think twice about waiting in lines for the hot new place, or squishing into a bad table on an off night just to say I had been somewhere.

These days are blissfully over.   I am, in my 39th year, secure enough in who I am and what I like to simply do what I want.  And luckily for me, most of my peers want what I want.  We entertain at home more than we go out, having gotten to a place where we all own enough chairs and plates to make such a thing possible, and enough skill in the kitchen to be able to equal if not exceed the pleasures of eating in restaurants.  When we do go out, we tend to find cozy and quiet places where you can linger over good food and have great conversation, instead of the hot ticket of the moment.  We have discovered the joys of lunch, especially long multi course lunches at fancy restaurants, where for half the price of dinner you can still experience the best of the kitchen, and then have the rest of the day to recover and not have to go to sleep on ten courses.  I find that the meals I share these days are in every way more comfortable and pleasurable than they were 10 years ago, and it is a lovely thing to settle into.

This became patently clear with a recent dining epiphany:

Every now and again, you need a burger.  Not just any burger, a truly great burger.  A drip juices down your arm can’t get your whole mouth around it burger.  The hottest burger in town right now is at Kuma’s Corner  at 2900 W. Belmont.  Kuma’s has a lot of things going for it.  It was recently named the single best burger in Chicago by Chicago magazine.  It has been featured on the Food Network.  It is five minutes from my house.  Usually this is the holy trinity of wonderful.  I made plans to meet a friend there for dinner, and got ready to have my burger world rocked.  And I have to say that the burger I ate there was probably the most spectacular burger I have ever eaten.  I got a Mastodon, a huge meaty burger with a BBQ sauce glaze, cheddar cheese, crispy bacon and topped with a mound of “frizzled onions” (essentially extra thin fried onion strings), on their signature pretzel roll.  And make no mistake, it was the burger to end all burgers.  And I am so glad I ate it because I will probably never have one again.

Kuma's Mastodon

Why?  Because as good as the burger was, and is, and as fond a memory as I will always have of it, it wasn’t a good time.

Because I?  Am old.

Too old to want to have to wait outside sitting on a curb for over an hour to get a table at 6 p.m. on a Tuesday night.

Too old to want to wait another hour for a kitchen the size of a postage stamp to assemble and deliver the pinnacle of burger perfection.

Too old to want to scream at the top of my lungs to be heard by my dining companion over the endless shriek of heavy metal music.

Kuma’s clearly doesn’t need my business.  (One hour wait on a Tuesday!)  Neither of my tattoos are visible to the public, and all of my piercings are in my ears, so I’m not their kind of eye candy.  I could probably have given birth to half their clientele.  I drive a Honda Accord Hybrid Sedan, and am old enough to look at the string of motorcycles outside as the source of future organ donations and not as exciting transportation.

I am glad that they exist, I just wish they would open a Kuma’s Café for those of us over 30 who still possess most of our hearing and like to make reservations.

Kuma’s is an experience, and I have to say, I do recommend at least one visit for everyone.  In the meantime, if you are craving a great burger but like me, don’t want to devote three hours to the prospect, let me recommend the following:

Four Moon Tavern  1847 W. Roscoe:  I know I’ve touted them before, but they satisfy my burger need with finesse, a lovely array of possible toppings, and better still, a juke box that doesn’t compete with conversation, and quick service.

Athenian Room  807 W. Webster:  You might not think burger at first blush, being that this is a Greek restaurant, but theirs is juicy and meaty, and you can get it fancied up with feta cheese if you are feeling adventurous.

Custom House  500 S. Dearborn:  Want a truly upscale burger?  Sidle up to the bar and dig in to Shawn McClain’s version with aged cheddar and shaved onions and fantastic fries.  Amazing.  And at $12, the best bargain in the place.  Glorious.

Yours in good taste,
Stacey Ballis
www.thepolymathchronicles.blogspot.com
www.staceyballis.com

NOSH of the week:  Sweet corn is in, and you don’t need me to tell you how to grill, boil, steam or sauté it.  But my new go-to salad this summer is a combination of arugula, pea shoots, and raw sweet corn with a simple herb vinaigrette.  If you’ve never thought of eating it raw, now is the perfect time to try.  I love my Rikon corn stripper, available at Sur La Table for quickly getting the whole kernels off the cob with minimum fuss.

NOSH Food Read of the Week:  in honor of the new Julie and Julia movie, and since I have already recommended both the books the movie is based upon, let me recommend Mastering the Art of French Cooking Vol. 1, the cookbook that started it all, and a surprisingly compelling read.

Working as a performance artist, it didn’t take Susannah Perlman long to discover she wasn’t the only nice Jewish girl trying to make a living by doing things on stage (telling naughty jokes, wearing not all the much clothing) of which her mother did not approve.

“I do comedy and music and I have hosted burlesque,” she recalled. “And in the course of these things, I kept on running into amazing women who happened to be Jewish, and I thought, what if I put it all together?”

The result: Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad, a burlesque-y variety show that pokes fun at all things Semitic.

Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad will be in Chicago Sept. 4 and 5 performing at the Lakeshore Theatre. The show runs the gamut of irreverent religion-themed acts, from classic Jewish songs rewritten as disco and pop tunes to a Chassidic strip tease. Audiences can also expect a “Hava Nagila” go-go number and a piece in which hamantaschen is presented as a fertility symbol.

“It’s really a fun show, very colorful,” Perlman said.

Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad is currently in its sixth year and has been performed all over the country at clubs, universities and, interestingly enough, even synagogues. Perlman said that although the show resonates most strongly with Jewish crowds, audiences of all stripes have proved receptive to the girls’ antics.

“There’s something for everyone,” Perlman said. “Women, gay and straight, like it because it has a lot of feminist undertones. Gay men like it because it’s campy and kitschy. And straight men like it because it’s dirty.”

Over the years, Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad has acquired a rotating ensemble of between 30-40 different musicians, comedians, dancers and vaudevillians, with five or six women performing at any given show. Perlman said she often tries to bring in local acts as well from each region the show visits. In Seattle, she has been in contact with Jewish burlesque artists Miss Indigo Blue and the Naked Folk Singer.

Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad bills its performers as “gals who learned to smoke at Hebrew School, got drunk at their Bat Mitzvahs and would rather have more schtuppa than the chuppah.”

Perlman herself grew up in a Jewish household in Pittsburgh, “going to Jewish summer camp and trips to Israel.”

As unkosher as scantily clad-women crooning about gefilte fish may seem to some, the fundamentals of the show — Jewish music and Jewish humor — likely resonate with almost anyone who spent their youth in Hebrew school class rooms and on B’nai Brith overnights.

“We say the show is for anyone ages 18 to 80,” Perlman said. “A lot of East Coast old timers really like it because it reminds them of the old-timey comedy shows.”
Six years in, Perlman added that even her mother is starting to warm up to the idea.

“We’ve been getting good reviews lately and her friends forward them to her,” she said. “Last time I went to visit, when she introduced me around at her synagogue, that was the first thing she’d say about me. I think it’s the first time she’s really been telling people about the show.”

“Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad” will perform at 7:30 p.m. Sept. 4 and at 7:30 and 10:30 p.m. Sept. 5 at Chicago’s Lakeshore Theatre (3175 N. Broadway). For more information, visit http://www.nicejewishgirlsgonebad.com.

Story originally posted on  www.jew-ish.com .

Chicago native and filmmaker Marc Fienberg at the movies

Marc Fienberg always had a close friendship with his grandpa Joe.

Years after Joe lost his wife—Marc’s grandmother—of 54 years, Joe came to his grandson for advice on how to start dating again. Both men were living in Chicago at the time, Marc in Lincoln Park and his grandfather in a nearby retirement community. They would hang out with the ladies at Joe’s complex and Marc would offer his grandpa pointers.

Then, Marc’s advice paid off. “I kissed a woman last week,” Joe confided to his grandson. “Watching an 89-year-old man experience all the uncertainty, anxiety, and insecurity of a young schoolboy—when to call her, what to say, whether to ask her out—was moving and uplifting,” Marc recalls.

Grandpa Joe passed away three years ago, but Marc—a Jewish filmmaker originally from the Chicago area—keeps his memory alive in his new film, “Play The Game,” (Story Films) which hits Chicago-area theaters on Friday, Aug. 28. Written, directed, and produced by Marc, the movie is his first feature film, although he has produced short films in the past. Loosely based on Marc’s grandfather, the movie tells the story of David (Paul Campbell), who teaches his dating tricks to his lonely widowed grandfather Joe, played by Andy Griffith, who was Marc’s grandfather’s favorite actor.

At the same time, David tries to “play the game” and use his own dating techniques to attract Julie (Marla Sokoloff), the woman of his dreams. For David, the dating game fails, but the same tricks transform Grandpa Joe into the Don Juan of his retirement community. The movie also stars two famous TV moms, Doris Roberts, from “Everybody Loves Raymond,” and Liz Sheridan, from “Seinfeld.”

Chicago native and filmmaker Marc Fienberg at the movies

Marc—who grew up in Lincolnwood and Skokie and now lives in Los Angeles with his wife and four children all under age five—wasn’t always planning on a film career. In fact, he worked in the business world, most recently at an Internet start-up company in Los Angeles until two years ago. Then, he took what he recognizes as a risky leap into filmmaking. At the same time, he exercised his business acumen and connections from his business school, Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, to raise money for the movie, which proved no easy task.

In addition to his business network, Marc used his connections in the Jewish world to get the film off the ground. He traveled around the country lecturing to Jewish organizations to spread the word about his film. The movie has, in particular, resonated with seniors. One such Florida senior, a 75-year-old woman named Florence, embraced the film so much that she spent three weeks visiting temples, retirement communities, and condos drumming up support for it. Marc credits Florence with drawing more than 3,000 people into theaters to see the film!

Returning home to Chicago in July to promote his movie, Marc spoke with Oy!Chicago about his grandpa Joe, switching careers, and playing the dating game.

In what way is Grandpa Joe in the movie based on your grandfather?
Some of the best lines and scenes [in the movie] came straight out of his mouth and life. He was living in Florida with my grandma and my grandmother died. Then, he came to Chicago so we could take care of him. For four years, he was down in the dumps, and then, overnight, he turned around and met a woman. He whispered to me, “I met a woman.” He started telling me the details. At first, I was a little bit “TMI.” But then I realized this was so nice to hear that an 89-year-old-guy can get back into it and can find literally a purpose for waking up in the morning. Think about it—you go from your only friend, your best friend, your wife—for 54 years and then overnight she’s gone and he realizes he doesn’t really have that many other friends, so you go from everything to nothing, and I could see how it sucks the life out of you. And then he had a reason to get back into it.

Paul Campbell (David) and Andy Griffith (Grandpa Joe) in “Play the Game”

How much of David, the ladies’ man in the movie, is based on you?
I would love to say, “I’m as suave and debonair as this ladies’ man.” The reality of it—as you can ask several women in the Chicagoland area that know me from my single days—is I was not as suave and debonair. I think the character is based more on the guy I hoped I could be one day. No, I was not quite the ladies’ man, but my friends and I did try all those tricks. They worked for my friends, just not for me.
There was a woman I dated in college that broke up with me, who I never stopped thinking about. I would constantly call her. Four years later, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I would come up with excuses to go meet her. I would make up stories why I ran into her and it never worked out. Finally, seven years later, I called her out of the blue and put it all on the line. I said I’m still thinking about you and I’m not making up excuses to see you. Let’s date again and, sure enough, that’s when it happened. We got engaged and married and have four kids now. I took one of the messages of the movie and it worked for me in my own life.

Do you recommend that single people ‘play the game?’
I leave that to the viewer of the movie. It’s definitely not the Hollywood ending that people would expect. It’s a romantic comedy, so you sort of have an idea of who is going to end up with whom, but you’re completely surprised as to how they end up together and what the message of the movie is. It was important for me not to have the typical Hollywood ending that says “Just be honest with one another and good things will happen.” That’s nice but we all know that’s not the way the world works. I wanted to be very true to life in the message and the theme of my movie.

Marla Sokoloff (Julie) and Paul Campbell (David) in “Play the Game”

Do these rules work on single Jews?
These rules are particularly effective with Jewish women and men because it plays on the stereotypical, but somewhat true Jewish stereotypes: We probably have a little more guilt and a little more neurosis than the average group of people.

How are you raising your children Jewishly?
I had a strong culturally Jewish upbringing. I’m actually raising my four children more religious than I was. They know more much more about Judaism at 5 years old than my wife knows today. We want to send them to a Jewish preschool.

Was making a career switch to showbiz worth it?
I sit in a movie theater with 350 strangers and listen to the first joke and hear exploding laughter and hear them affected by my film. We showed it in a retirement community, and were expecting 200 people, but got 3,500 people instead. Afterwards, a 92-year-old guy comes up to me and says, “This movie could have been made about me. I want to introduce you to my 87-year-old girlfriend. We’ve been dating for seven years. We go out dancing and this movie is about us. This has given me confidence…” That’s why I got into this business, what made it all worth it.

“Attention shoppers”
A college shopping spree

By Jenna Cohen

Attention shoppers: our store will close in 15 minutes. Please make your final selections and come check out at the register.
The thing is, I’ve only just begun to review my choices. The cart is filled with so many boxes; I can’t even be sure what’s in each of them.
Do I want the school that’s having a special on foreign study, or the one with the mouth-watering choir that caught my eye?

Attention shoppers: The store is closing in 15 minutes.
Blood pounds in my ears and the aisle begins to close in on me. So many choices, so little time.
How do you choose between peanut butter and chocolate when Reeses isn’t an option?

Attention shoppers: The store is closing in 10 minutes.
Crap!
Wait; this one could be good. Gosh, I hope I have a coupon for it.
Which will best fit my budget? Or is this line cash only?

Attention Shoppers: 5 minutes, 5 minutes ‘til closing.
Very bad.
Just pick something!
Do I want small liberal arts college with alfredo sauce or big state school with marinara?
This one costs so much more, but it’s exactly what I’m craving.
But, what if it’s too filling? I want to save room for dessert.
Mmmm. Grad school a la mode.

Thank you for shopping with us today. Please remember all sales are final.

“Crap. Where are my tums?”
Or helping your daughter search for the perfect college

By Linda Haase

On the morning of the SAT, I thought I was going to puke. The thought of the math section alone was enough to give me hives.

Imagine the misery if I were the one who’d actually had to take it.

I’m the mom of a high school senior, which means our household is stuck on the college channel. We get a daily deluge of brochures and e-mails from suitor schools, SAT prep specialists and for-hire college counselors, punctuated by invitations to compete in teen beauty pageants. A well-thumbed copy of Colleges That Change Lives sits on my nightstand, and my refrigerator is festooned with news clippings about financial aid. I have no fewer than six colleges bookmarked on my computer.

I’ve spent exponentially more time planning for Jenna’s college experience than I did for my own, and possibly more time than I actually spent in college.

In a manila file somewhere, I actually have an Excel spread sheet comparing various schools’ attributes: their size, location, ranking in US News & World Report, opportunities for Jewish life, and tuition lined up in neat columns.

I did not give this kind of careful consideration to my husband’s marriage proposal, or to the purchase of our first home.

In my defense, the house didn’t cost as much as this degree will.

The nightmare began in 8th grade, when high school class selections were made. The school district provided comparison charts of differing college admissions requirements along with their high school course catalogue. The message was clear: if I fucked up in selecting my 14-year-old’s science class, I could keep her from getting into Harvard.

I understand that there are worse things than Jenna not getting into the school of her choice. For example, she could get into the college of her dreams and then have them offer her no financial aid whatsoever.

Crap. Where are my Tums?

On the one hand, I want Jenna to have the opportunity to soar, to take a path that is worthy of her incredible spirit and intellect, and I don’t want her impeded by my limitations. Hell, I still want her to believe she could be President.

But I also want to protect her from this nonsense, from teachers who urged her as a freshman to consider activities that’d “look good” on her college applications, when all she wanted to do was figure out her locker combination; from relatives who ask her about college every time they see her; from neighbors lobbying for her to visit their alma mater.

My finest moment came when I declined to enroll her in a weekly SAT prep class, because I felt she should be spending her junior year in high school being a junior in high school.

I wish I could say that no, ever since then I haven’t been obsessing about whether I did the right thing.

Genetic Counselor Michelle Gilats talks with a participant at a genetic testing session

We are born with secrets. And our bodies are very effective at hiding them from us for generations.

Until April, my body had secrets, too. But thanks to four blood samples, I now know much more about my genes than I ever dreamed about.

Ashkenazi Jews like me might carry genetic mutations that cause everything from Tay-Sachs to cystic fibrosis to the funny-sounding maple syrup urine disease. The fact that no one in my family has manifested any symptoms doesn’t mean that they aren’t carriers. In fact, 11 different disorders are about 20 to 100 times (depending on the mutation) more common among Azhkenazi Jews than the general population. If you are Sephardic, you’re not off the hook just yet: A host of mutations might have found its way into your family, too.

Armed with this knowledge, I signed up for a genetic testing session through the Chicago Center for Jewish Genetic Disorders. The Center provides testing for mutations leading to nine most common disorders, including ones that cause the lungs to stop functioning (cystic fibrosis) or rapid progressive deterioration of the brain and the nervous system (Tay-Sachs) or a predisposition to cancer (Bloom’s syndrome). Each of us could be a carrier of these and not even know it. And even if both parents are carriers, the chance of having an affected offspring is 25 percent, according to laws of Mendelian inheritance.

“One of the benefits of the testing is that you can be prepared for the risk you might have,” says Rachel Sacks, the community outreach coordinator at the Center. “You can choose different options, be prepared for the birth of an affected child. If you find out that your risk has been greatly reduced, it can be big relief for people as they are deciding when to have children.”

As my husband and I walked into the social hall at Chicago Sinai Congregation in late April, we didn’t know what to expect. We were among the first and so were given an early slot for the consultation with a genetic counselor and the visit to certified nurses from Children’s Memorial, who would be drawing our blood samples. The room slowly filled up: Most attendees were in their twenties and thirties; some were with partners, others had come alone. At our table sat a woman in her late 20s with her non-Jewish fiancé; two lawyers in their late 30s; and two graduate students.

“When the program began in 2002, it was geared toward college students,” Sacks says. “Since then, we’ve found a higher demand among young professionals and have shifted focus. We still welcome college students and have a student rate, though. Most people who attend tend to be about one to five years from having children, and so among students we mostly see graduate students.”

Following dinner, Genetic Counselor Michelle Gilats gave us a mini lesson in genetics, explaining the dominant characteristics of each disease and the process of inheritance. Then, each person or couple briefly met with Michelle or another genetic counselor and walked on to the nurses, who drew four small vials of blood. The blood was sent to a private lab in New York, which works with not-for-profit centers like the ones in Chicago and Arizona. At $90 per person, the screening is heavily subsidized, reducing what could be a $3,000 bill.

After that evening in April, I promptly forgot about the whole thing. Although my husband and I have been married for almost three years, we’ve barely broached the subject of kids. It’s just the two of us – and that’s fine with us for now. Every time our parents ask us about future grandchildren, we tell them ‘we are still practicing.’

For others, genetic testing is an integral part of making reproductive decisions. One result could completely alter a couple’s plan: discovering that they are both carriers of the same mutation.

“Surprisingly, of the couples we’ve screened together, we haven’t had that happen yet,” Sacks says. “Still, with technology we have today, carrier couples have a lot of options.”

These options can range from prenatal and newborn testing to forgoing having biological children to adoption. Another option is preimplantation genetic diagnosis, which was pioneered by Chicago scientist Yury Verlinsky and involves testing embryos.

After not thinking about the whole thing for eight weeks, I got a call in late June from the Center’s genetic counselor telling me that yet another of my body’s little mysteries was solved. Turns out, my husband and I are perfectly compatible—even on the genetic level!

If you want to delve into your genetic mysteries, the Center offers four screenings a year. All slots for the Sept. 1 and Dec. 8 screenings are filled, but the Center will hold more sessions in March and May 2010. Contact Taryn Brickman at the Center at tarynbrickman@juf.org or 312-357-4988 for more info.

South America has a rich Jewish history, one that most Jews outside of Latin America know little about. This spring, I traveled to South America to learn about the Jewish communities of two countries, Uruguay and Argentina, on a media mission organized by ORT America.

 In addition to making some new Jewish friends in Uruguay and Argentina, I got to eat some world-famous Argentine (kosher) steak, take in a Tango show, and brush up on my college Spanish…Salud!

Pictured is Cindy Russo (right), a 16-year-old student at an ORT technical high school’s Belgrano campus in Buenos Aires, with her best friend, Michelle, taken on their recent March of the Living trip to Israel.

Cindy Russo, age 16, attends ORT’s Belgrano campus, one of the two ORT technical high schools in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Students choose a concentration after three years of school, with choices from mass media to electronics to music. Russo--one of more than 4,000 students who attend the schools--has selected the management track and is interested in furthering her studies in business when she graduates next year. She loves the combination of choosing an area of interest and simultaneously getting a strong Jewish education. Russo recently returned from Israel, earning the trip as part of an incentive program for students with high grades.

Buenos Aires is home to 180,000 Jews, the largest Jewish community in Latin America and the seventh largest in the world. The country has a tumultuous Jewish history. Back when the Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492, they began settling and assimilating into Argentina during the first wave of Jewish immigration to the country. Centuries later, after World War II, President Juan Peron rose to power and allowed the country to become a haven for Nazi war criminals.

It takes two to tango at Buenos Aires dance club, Madero Tango.

In the 1990s, Argentina’s Jewish community suffered twin terrorist attacks. First, in 1992, the Israeli Embassy was bombed, killing 32 people. Then, two years later, the Jewish community headquarters—the AMIA building—was bombed, killing 85 people and wounding several hundred others in the deadliest bombing in Argentina’s history. Authorities have yet to solve either bombing case but, three years ago, Argentine prosecutors formerly accused the government of Iran of orchestrating the AMIA bombing through the Lebanon-based terrorist organization Hezbollah.

Then, in 2001, Argentina’s economy collapsed, devastating the Jewish community’s strong middle class, plunging many Jews into poverty for the first time. Argentina’s economy had since somewhat rebounded in recent years, but then declined again in this past year’s global economic crisis.

Guillermo Borger is the president of AMIA, which offers the largest job-finding network in Argentina, aiding both Jews and non-Jews alike. He said that AMIA strove to help the decimated middle class during the economic collapse.

“It was hard to find the people [who needed our help] because they were ashamed,” he explained. “They were people who didn’t previously have needs.”

On our tour, we visited the AMIA building, which was reconstructed after the bombing. Today, the building has tight security and features a memorial to the many bombing victims in its entrance. “[We knew] life would come again, so we decided to rebuild,” said Aldo Donzis, president of DAIA, the political representation of the Argentine Jewish community, which represents 15 Jewish institutions, tracks anti-Semitism and other forms of discrimination, and is housed in the AMIA building.

Jewish representatives in Argentina, as well as across Latin America, fear the growing ties between Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The friendship between the two anti-Semitic leaders has helped Iran and Muslim fundamentalists penetrate Latin America in recent years.

“This relationship has created more insecurity, not just in Argentina but in all of South America,” said Donzis. “Chavez opened the door in Latin America so that they can come here without being investigated.”

Anti-Semitism strikes in the daily lives of Argentine Jews, according to Donzis, but DAIA strives to combat it. He referred to a recent soccer game in Argentina, where the crowd sang a chant against Jews; the soccer referee didn’t understand why the chant was inappropriate. DAIA later signed an agreement with the Argentine Soccer Association to teach against the evils of anti-Semitism during referee training.

While the Jewish community of Argentina faces challenges each day, 16-year-old Russo explains what she loves about being a Jewish Argentine teenager.

“Luckily, in Buenos Aires, we have a pretty big community which includes many Jewish schools, clubs, and many many synagogues,” she said. “Actually it is really good because at all these places, you end up knowing almost the whole community, because you have a cousin in common, or just friends in common. It makes me proud to know that I am part of the Jewish minority in my country.”

ORT was founded in Tzarist Russia in 1880 to teach impoverished Jewish Russians skills needed at that time. Today, ORT students are trained in technical skills such as computers, telecommunications, robotics, and nanotechnology at technical schools around the world. ORT America will host a solidarity mission to Argentina and Uruguay from Nov. 9-15.Visit  www.ortamerica.org/missions or call 1-(800)-519-2678, ext. 360.

South America has a rich Jewish history, one that most Jews outside of Latin America know little about. This spring, I traveled to South America to learn about the Jewish communities of two countries, Uruguay and Argentina, on a media mission organized by ORT America.

In addition to making some new Jewish friends in Uruguay and Argentina, I got to eat some world-famous Argentine (kosher) steak, take in a Tango show, and brush up on my college Spanish…Salud!

Encounter with a selection of students and graduates representing most areas of study of ORT Uruguay University

David Telias was born in Montevideo, Uruguay, but has traveled back and forth between Israel and Uruguay his whole life. At age 10, he made aliyah with his family for one year. “In those days, I did not understand why we did this, but I never could get it out of my mind,” he said. “It was the first time I asked myself what it means to be Jewish.” From that day forward, Telias felt a deep connection to Israel. His story is a familiar one within the Jewish community of Uruguay, a person with allegiance to Uruguay, but a strong tie to the Jewish homeland as well.

A Jewish studies and history professor at ORT Uruguay University, Telias acted as our guide through Uruguay.

Uruguay has a Jewish population of about 23,000 Jews, 75% of whom are Ashkenazi, different from most other Latin American countries with a larger Sephardic population, according to Telias. The Jewish community, mainly centered in Uruguay’s capitol city of Montevideo, is tight-knit, though not religious, with a strong bond with Israel, which enjoys better relations with Uruguay than with any other country in Latin America, according to Telias.

Fresh produce at a Montevideo fruit stand

Our host in Uruguay was ORT Uruguay University, the country’s largest private university. In 1942, ORT University was first established as a Jewish trade school for refugees from Europe, according to Charlotte de Grunberg, director general of ORT Uruguay.

In the 1950s, ORT expanded to include non-Jews as well and spent more time specializing in technological areas and providing vocational training to technicians and professionals, according to Grunberg. When she arrived in Uruguay in the late 1970s from her hometown in Belgium, she helped transform the school into a university.

Grunberg didn’t want the school to compete with Jewish day schools because she believed in the power of Jewish continuity. At the same time, after the military rule, from 1973-1985, the quality of education at the public university deteriorated, she said, so she hoped Jewish university-bound students would turn to ORT as an option.

“Jewish parents want the best for their children,” Grunberg said. “We decided we would start to try to maintain one of the best universities in the country.” Then, in 1996, ORT University was officially certified as a private institution. Today, more than 8,000 students, both Jewish and non-Jewish, undergraduate and graduate, attend.

During our visit, we held a roundtable discussion with a group of students and recent graduates. Among them was Martin Kalenberg, who graduated from the School of Communication and now writes for a Uruguayan weekly Jewish magazine. Several years ago, he published a piece on the investigation of the Munich Olympics, where 11 Israeli athletes were killed by terrorists. (The Uruguayan delegation was housed in the same building as the Israeli team.)

“The community is more Zionistic than religious—Israel is most important,” Kalenberg said, describing the Uruguayan Jewish community’s ties to Israel. “There are secular and religious Jews here but, to everyone, Israel is most important. Israel unites those who are involved and who are not involved in the community.”

Maia Hojman is an articulate, young community leader with a passion for the Jewish people. A graduate in public accounting, she was elected to run the 500-member Jewish youth organization, ‘Macabi Tzair,’ which entails planning educational activities. Five years ago, she traveled on a youth trip to Israel through the Jewish United Fund’s overseas arm, the Jewish Agency for Israel.

Maia Hojman (third from left), a young leader in the Uruguayan Jewish community, out with the ladies in Montevideo

Hojman, along with the majority of the other young people we spoke to, attends the Yavne Synagogue, located in the Pocitos neighborhood of Montevideo. Hojman lights up when talking about the Orthodox synagogue, led by a 28-year-old rabbi named Tzvi Elon. The rabbi’s young age and enthusiasm attracts many young people to the shul. Hojman outlines her Friday night routine each week, not a traditionally religious one, but a Jewishly-centered one nonetheless. “I get in a car and drive to synagogue,” she said, “and then to my grandma’s for Shabbat dinner.”

ORT was founded in Tzarist Russia in 1880 to teach impoverished Jewish Russians skills needed at that time. Today, ORT students are trained in technical skills such as computers, telecommunications, robotics, and nanotechnology at technical schools around the world. ORT America will host a solidarity mission to Argentina and Uruguay from Nov. 9-15.Visit  www.ortamerica.org/missions or call 1-(800)-519-2678, ext. 360.

Cooking keeps me company when everyone around me is busy or absent.  And, as I've developed a deeper appreciation for what and how I cook, so too with my Judaism.  So here I am: a 20 year-old junior, living in a one-bedroom, eager to make it kosher.  And not just kosher—organic and local round out my trinity of food wants.  Organic, Local, Kosher—two out of three's not bad, right?

Remember that old JIF peanut butter slogan: "Choosy moms choose JIF"?  Incorrect!  Choosy moms grind their own damn legumes.  Which brings us to (pardon the pun) the meat of the situation.

According to Northwestern University Fiedler Hillel's Rabbi Josh Feigelson, kashrut's main (and to some, only) function is to isolate and separate the Jewish people from the others—it reminds us of who we are.  A chosen people.  But aren't we a choosy one too?

Apparently not.

Here in Chicago, on a recent run to KJ (that's the kosher Jewel on Howard), I found approximately no identifiably Illinois-based kosher food products.  I also found no Illinois based regular food products, but since I'm not in the business of buying fruits and vegetables at Jewel, I'll let it slide.  I found tons of kosher dairy products from Israel (Tnuva is really popular, nu?) or from New England (think of all the foodies who've gone kosher there!), a boatload of Manischevitz everything (California) and, of course, US kosher meat.  Because meat comes from the United States, as a whole.  Obvs!

How is it so possible for people to ignore where their food comes from?  I disagree both with the vegetarian (or vegan) who insists on telling me that my food had a face and a thought (at least my food can be certifiably dead and non-responsive when I eat it is my response) and with the carnivores who trot off to BK lounge for three Whoppers, never questioning that they're eating "BEEF" (you mean that comes from a COW? Gross!)  I want to respect my body and my future food.

Currently, there are a few coops in the east coast, who, acting like CSAs, service their communities with kosher, pasture-finished (that means it never ate corn, or worse, cow) meats.  I'm sure there's one or two in Berkeley.  I know there's a burgeoning movement out there in the world that has an ethical connection to its food—the organic one.  So what about here in Chicago?

These days, when I hanker after some protein I make do with what’s available, and buy Empire or Alle kosher meats.  But when I set aside kitchen space for my kosher, yes, but non-organic, non-local meat dishes, utensils, and cookware, I found I didn't want to spare more than two cupboards and a square foot of counter space.  I can't wait for the day to come when I can have all three— kosher, local and organic.  Hopefully then, I’ll have a large kitchen to cook in, too.  Until then, pass the tomatoes—I've got a pizza to make.

Although I’m a writer myself, when it comes to reading for pleasure, I tend to dabble in the chick lit section of the bookstore a bit more than a girl should really admit. But hell, give me sunshine, a beach and a pastel paperback and I’m as happy as a clam. Lucky for me, there’s one author in the chick lit section who manages to fill her pink-covered pages with substance, humor (even some Jewish humor), life lessons and a little girl talk.

Jennifer Weiner, a nice Jewish girl from Connecticut, is most well known for debut novel, The New York Times best-seller “Good in Bed” and her second novel, “In Her Shoes,” which was turned into a major motion picture starring Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette and Shirley MacLaine by Twentieth Century Fox in 2005. Weiner’s other best-selling novels include “Little Earthquakes,” “Goodnight Nobody,” “The Guy Not Taken” and “Certain Girls,” the sequel to “Good in Bed.” Her work has also appeared in Seventeen, Glamour, Redbook, TV Guide, YM and Salon.com. Weiner, a graduate of Princeton University, lives in Philadelphia with her husband and their daughters, Lucy and Phoebe.

This Monday, July 20, at 7 p.m., the Vernon Area Public Library will bring Weiner to Adlai E. Stevenson High School in Lincolnshire to discuss her new book, “Best Friends Forever,” released this week, along with her past books, personal experiences and women's search for a sense of self. Registration is required to attend.

I caught up with Weiner before her visit to talk Judaism, the inspiration for her new book and shoe shopping on Michigan Ave:

Stefanie Pervos: I understand you grew up in a town where you were one of few Jews. What was your Jewish upbringing like? What role does Judaism play in your life today?
Jennifer Weiner: I grew up in a town in Connecticut where there weren’t a lot of Jews but I did have a pretty traditional Jewish upbringing. I went to Sunday school and Hebrew school and I was bat mitzvahed and confirmed and we lit candles on Shabbat. So I’d say that I had a very strong Jewish identity. I married the nice Jewish guy, and my husband and I belong to a synagogue and we attend most tot Shabbats (with our daughters).

Most of your book’s main characters are Jewish—why is that? And how does your Judaism influence your writing?
Well, I think that a lot of my characters are outsiders and they feel alienated from whatever community they’re in—whether it’s their suburb or high school or the world of thin people—they just sort of feel like they don’t belong. I think in a lot of ways Judaism is my shorthand for that because in most cases (even today) to be Jewish is to still be somewhat on the outside—you’re not part of the majority religion and that puts you in a different place than being Christian does. It makes you look at things a little differently.

I’ve read that you struggle with being labeled as a chick lit writer.
I don’t really struggle with it anymore, because I’ve realized there’s nothing I can do to affect that label one way or another, so I’m just going to have to be at peace with it. The comfort of it is that I think that critics can be very dismissive about chick lit or about anything that they think concerns frivolous questions about romance or marriage or children or women, but I think my readers kind of know what the deal is with my books. I want my books to be entertaining more than anything else. But I also want them to have some substance and to be dealing with issues that are relevant to the people that are reading them— issues of identity, self confidence, what it means to be a mother, what it means to be a sister, what it means to be a friend. So, even if there’s a pink cover and even if The New York Times never mentions them, I think that my readers know what they came for.

I’m curious if you’ve ever been labeled as a Jewish writer?
Not so much, you know, that’s really interesting. I wonder if that’s a literary/commercial distinction? Even though a lot of my characters are Jewish, and they’re observant Jews, I think the chick lit label sort of supercedes everything.

As someone who’s read all of your books, it’s pretty clear to me that you have a very strong voice. How did you find that voice?
I think some of it was growing up Jewish in a place where there weren’t a lot of Jews—you had to have a sense of humor about that or you were just sunk. Some of it is being one of four kids. I wasn’t in a situation where I had parents who were breathlessly hanging on my every word thinking everything I said was so brilliant and so precious. You really had to work to get that positive reinforcement, and I think that all four of us have pretty distinct voices and pretty good senses of humor. And a lot of it comes from journalism and all the reading and writing I did. I’m so happy that I could grow up and be what I wanted to be when I grew up, but it’s a job and writing is a craft and you work at it. Voice is something that you refine as you go and you work.

It seems the impetus for most of your books comes from something going on in your life. How much of what you write is inspired by your real life?
I’d say a lot of it is, and if it’s not my life its something that’s going on with my friends, or my sister or my brothers or my mom. This is my seventh book and this is where you start to get the ‘do you worry about running out of ideas’ question. I really don’t because I think life just gives you so much and your children give you so much and your parents give you so much and I think that that’s where it comes from.

“Best Friends Forever” was interesting because I read Stephen King’s book on writing—which I really, really liked—and one of the things that he talks about is writing Carrie and remembering the outcast girl in his high school and trying to come up with a back story of what had happened to make this girl such a target of everyone. I thought, I want to write a story about the girl who was really unhappy in high school. Because I was unhappy for some of high school, not like desperately unhappy, not unhappy for all of it, but I definitely had that thing that now I think just about everybody had—I’m the biggest freak here, I’m not fitting in, I’m not one of the cool kids— and I wanted to write that girl. So some of it was something I’d read and some of it was something I’d lived and a lot of it is imagination and extrapolation.

It sounds like “Best Friends Forever” might have a little bit of a dark side to it.
Yeah, it’s got a bit of a mystery.  It is a little darker, but it’s got some funny parts too. I would say it’s typical of what I do and of what my readers would expect. It’s also a bit of homage to “Thelma and Louise.” I wanted to write the story of two women on the lam.

So what’s next for you?
I’m trying to get ready to go (on tour). I’m thinking about my next novel, which I think is going to be a story about three different women in three different generations who all have marriages or love affairs go wrong and come together to recover from that and learn things about each other and themselves.  I have a development deal with ABC—basically I’m trying very hard to come up with ideas for television that have my voice and the kind of characters I like to write.

Are you looking forward to coming to Chicago?
My husband went to law school at the University of Chicago—he was Barack Obama’s student and oh Lord did he never let me forget that the entire political campaign (I was a Hillary supporter). I’ve been to Chicago a bunch and I love shopping on Michigan Ave. I think my husband is going to try to confiscate my credit card before I leave. The Nordstrom shoe department (in Chicago) is I think the best in the entire world, so probably I’ll be doing some damage there.

Elesabeth Bacherta’s nickname is “Bruce,” after Bruce Lee. Like her namesake, she hits fast and hard… and leaves no one standing. But her sport is not a martial art, it’s football. That’s right: Women’s. Professional. Tackle. Football. Elisabeth is both Offense & Defense Lineman for Chicago’s team, The Force and recently celebrated her first anniversary with the team.

Born in Benton, Arkansas, Elesabeth is a fitness instructor for the Chicago Park District at Broadway Armory Park. She has a Master of Science in Exercise Science from Northeastern Illinois University, Chicago and another Master of Science in Organization Development, from Loyola University, Chicago. Her undergrad degree, in Journalism, is from Texas A&M University.

So whether you want to get in shape, plow through the opposition, or just catch a great football game, Elesabeth is a Jew you should know!

In game face mode, listening intently to her coash during a game

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
Sometimes I forget to set the VCR, or better yet, I set the VCR but forget to put in a tape, then I miss my favorite television show.  I really appreciate the websites where I can watch the episodes that my VCR didn’t record, especially season finales.

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
I’ve always admired gladiators—I even dressed as one for Purim one year—so I’d like to visit Italy.  I’d like to either ride a bicycle or motorcycle all over the country.

3. If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
Every year my friends try to convince me to dress like Xena, Warrior Princess for Purim. I’m too modest to wear that outfit in public, but Rosie O’Donnell would so I’d get her to play me in a movie. We’re both funny and smart.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
I love comedy because I love to laugh, so I’d have dinner with my two favorite comedians, Robin Williams and Queen Latifa.  Besides, I tell all my friends that I’m their lovechild, so it would be nice to have dinner with family. We’d eat somewhere casual that serves really good fish and a variety of veggies.

5. What’s your idea of the perfect day?
I enjoy being active so I’d like to either teach or attend a fitness class and then lift weights.  After that I’d spend the rest of the day soaking up the sun and listening to water either from waves or a waterfall.

6. What do you love about what you do?
I spent the last four years studying really hard so I could create a job that I’d enjoy. The late nights studying and no social life paid off, because now I get paid to teach exercise classes with really wonderful people and play with amazing children all day long.  In a nutshell, I get paid to play all day.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
I love being near the water and the physical demands of exercise, so working for the Coast Guard would be my second choice.

8. What’s your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago?
You think tackle football is tough? Try getting into the line for lunch before the little old ladies at shul. I don’t have at lot of free time these days, so I really appreciate the Shabbats when I get to have lunch with my friends at Anshe Emet.

A Chihuly installation that has nothing to do with this story

I was minding my own business in the courtyard on the corner of Monroe and Wells, trying to enjoy my Mexicali salad and a little sunshine, when I was interrupted. Not by the usual culprits like a colleague, a pigeon, or some guy selling Streetwise. I was interrupted by a voice inside my own head. It happened to be speaking in a booming baritone and didn’t give two shits about serenity or spring greens.

Devastate. Decimate. Desecrate. Destroy [pause] our system. 

Devastate. Decimate. Desecrate. Destroy [pause] our system. 

I’ll have you know, this is atypical. My subconscious might be quirky, but it doesn’t usually get incensed (in a Malcolm X-ish kinda way) and begin to alliterate.

So I put down my fork, took out my BlackBerry and emailed my friend Irving. Devastate. Decimate. Desecrate. Destroy [pause] our system.

What about defecate, he wrote back in a nanosecond.

That’s the good thing about friends. They don’t always need you to put things in context. When something sneaks up on you (and your cherry tomatoes) and bursts your bubble of indifference, they care, too.

Irving knows me well enough to know I don’t always care. My older brother is the one who inherited the activist gene. He’s the one who got arrested in college for protesting apartheid, who accumulates stacks upon stacks of precariously balanced newspapers, and updates his Facebook status every 12 minutes with abbreviated newsflashes that, to me, might as well be written in Swahili.

I’m generally the one who has no counter-argument to the statement, Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance, avoidance, denial – all bliss.

With me, mom skipped the page where Snow White got poisoned, muted the sound when the Wicked Witch melted, pressed fast forward when Bambi died. I haven’t opened my Smith Barney statements since November. I haven’t watched TV since Ruben Studdard won Amercian Idol. I get my news – good or bad -- by reading the headlines over the shoulders of my seatmates on Metra.

The thing is, when something touches your own life, it has a way of grabbing your attention. And the headline that’s grabbing my attention right now is, Poor, disabled, and elderly to pay the price for deadlock in Springfield.

Go on. Read it. I’ll wait.

Truth be told, I work for the largest social welfare organization in the state of Illinois. One could argue I am paid to care if our state is operating without an approved budget two weeks into the new fiscal year. One could argue I’m paid to care if our legislators are batting around budgets that will, in fact, devastate (decimate, destroy) major parts of our social service system.

But on my own time, in that courtyard on the corner of Wells and Monroe, I care for other reasons. Namely, because of what these agencies have done for my family.

They taught my husband English. They helped him become a U.S. citizen. They took care of our babies so we both could work – diapered them, burped them, taught them to swim. And during recent tough times, they were the buoy that kept us afloat.

I cared when that English program closed last week due to lack of funding. And I cared when that counseling program had to cut its staff and then cut it again, despite having waiting lists that last for months.

And that’s just us. One little Skokie family with a home, an income, and each other.

What about the thousands of other families – poor, disabled, elderly, or not – losing the services that have kept them afloat?

Can’t skip the page, mute the sound, or press fast forward this time.

According to my brother, my colleagues, and my seatmates on Metra, there are things I can do. Educate a friend. Hug a social worker. Write a story for Oy! Make a donation. Write letters to our legislators. Edit out the part that says, What the fuck planet are you living on? Pray they come to their senses.

But on this particular day, sitting in my courtyard on the corner of Wells and Monroe, apathy turns into apoplexy and the baritone booms on.

Take a few nice Jewish girls, add in a taste for blogging, 25- plus friends with talents and connections and a missing link in Chicago’s young Jewish media scene. Mix it together, add a dash of persistence and a helping from the Jewish United Fund and you get Oy!Chicago! Three awards later, Oy!Chicago has been a recipe for success.

Oy!Chicago  is for the socially conscious, intellectually curious and community-minded Jewish 20-or 30-somethings. It’s home to articles, reviews, event listings and ongoing daily discussions about Jewish life for people living Jewishly— or Jew-ishly— in Chicago.
  
This online blog and community for Jews in the Loop is celebrating its one year anniversary with a redesign and big summer plans. Join Oy! at Loft 610, a new Bucktown hot spot on July 23. There’ll be live music from The Hue, a progressive rock quartet that leaves the singing to the instruments. $20 admission includes an open bar from 8pm to 10pm, live music from The Hue and a donation to JUF, which provides critical resources that bring food, healthcare, education and emergency assistance to 300,000 Chicagoans of all faith and two million Jews around the world.

“It’s been such an exciting first year for Oy!,” said Stefanie Pervos, founding editor and blogger-in-chief of Oy!Chicago. “We’ve really been working hard to start a conversation among Chicago’s young Jewish community—a demographic we’ve found is really looking to get their voices heard.”

All this work paid off this year, as Oy!Chicago was the recipient of three awards for best new website: The Public Relations Society of America Chicago Chapter Merit Award, the Publicity Club of Chicago Silver Trumpet Award, and the Simon Rockower Award for Excellence in Jewish Journalism from the American Jewish Press Association.

The site originally launched in April, 2008 and was promoted exclusively through viral marketing (e.g., Facebook and Twitter). Traffic to the site remains strong, with more than 30,000 unique visitors to the site, and 4,000 unique visitors per month.

For information on advertising or to learn more about Oy!Chicago, please visit Oy!Chicago at   www.oychicago.com or email us at   info@oychicago.com . To attend the upcoming Oy!Chicago party in Bucktown,  visit us on facebook .

Susan, Lee and Dana having a floating birthday party on Lake Norman earlier this month

We were born during the summer of ’69. Woodstock, man on the moon, the whole bit. That year, Golda Meir became Prime Minister of Israel, the world first strolled down Sesame Street, and new homes on Main Street averaged $15,550.
 
When our parents turned 40, we were old enough to buy them wiseass cards about being over the hill. Funny, because we don’t feel old. Corneas don’t wrinkle and from the inside out, everything looks pretty much the same.
 
Except when it doesn’t.

Now that we have navigated four decades of living and dreaming, of Judy Blume, John Cougar Mellencamp, and broken hearts, of life threatening illnesses, DateMe.com, therapy, dirty diapers and rude awakenings  -  both literally and figuratively, are we wise enough to dispense advice?
 
I invite my old friends (and anyone else) to add your lessons learned to my list. In the meantime, here are a few things I wish I’d figured out sooner.
 
Buy second-hand clothes. Because, poor kid, you will pay retail for prairie skirts, paisley shirts, argyle socks and Bermuda shorts, monogrammed sweaters, duck shoes, penny loafers, Izods, Polos, ill-fitting Jordache jeans... and god, that’s just the 80’s. Go to Crossroads Trading Co. or go to thrift stores run by little old Jewish ladies. You’ll save money and look cooler.

Take an IMPACT class. Take it when you’re 16. Take it again when you’re older. Tell every woman you know to take it. When that guy grabs your ass in Istanbul, slips his hand in your pocket on the London subway, pretends he’s asleep in the shared cab heading east from Haifa (and you’re his pillow). When you’re walking across campus alone at night, home from the library, home from the El and someone is creeping you out. When Mr. Napoleon Complex screams at you, when Mr. Frat Boy lunges at you, when Irving is an asshole. You won’t say nothing. You will say Stop. You will say stop, with conviction and with strength. And if that doesn’t work, you’ll know where to kick him.

You can love being Jewish without having the God part figured out. Shabbat at overnight camp, sex education in Sunday school, watching graying, grinning kibbutzniks dancing their hearts out on Shavuot, crispy latkes with applesauce, tikkun olam, the rabbi you love, the Young Judaea madrich you love, the song leader you love, running into Jews on remote islands, in Vegas, on gondolas, in Rome, surviving (more than surviving) your Bat Mitzvah, listening to your toddler squeal Dayeinu, over and over again. What’s not to love?

Everybody’s shit stinks. The rabbi’s shit stinks. Every last girl on the cheerleading squad, the professor, the Department of Motor Vehicles dude who is about to fail you, the guy who is interviewing you, the people who are pointing at you. Their shit stinks, too, don’t forget.

Don’t believe everything your mother tells you (there is plenty of real stuff to worry about). I never saw anyone’s eyes get stuck crossed. I never saw anyone’s eardrums burst from a probing q-tip. I don’t know anyone who died from running with a lollipop in their mouth, or going outside with a wet head, or eating hummus that has been sitting out in the sun for too long. And I certainly never saw a magnifying glass or a germy sponge spontaneously combust.
 
Listen to your mother – she’s often right. Wear sunscreen. Embrace differences. Don’t smoke. Try your best. Say thank you. Be honest. Share. Remember nobody is perfect. Learn to say, I’m sorry. And for god’s sake, don’t run with a lollipop in your mouth.

Money is overrated. Seven figure bank accounts haven’t kept my friends out of psychotherapy or out of chemotherapy.
 
Boobs are overrated. A) They generally produce milk, regardless of size, and they eventually sag.  B) Just laser the goddamn unwanted hair and be done with it. Otherwise you’ll spend hours, day in day out, plucking, waxing, bleaching, zapping, obsessing. It’s ridiculous. C) One day those popular kids will be fat and bald.

Grades are overrated. You might get a D in calculus and straight A’s in grad school and in the long run it won’t make one iota of difference. Like mom said, just try your best. Read the books that interest you; try a few that don’t. Listen to the teachers who believe in you. Ignore the ones who don’t.  Find your passions. Fuck the rest.

Marry the mensch. No doubt you’ll have a crush on the cool, conceited drummer, the soccer player who doesn’t know you exist, the cute one, the challenging one, the evasive one, the one who can’t commit. You won’t be able to change them, so don’t waste your time trying. Marry your best friend, the one who brings out your best, who tells you the truth, who loves you as you are. (And I have plenty of happy, single friends, too.)

Remember Sandy. Sandy Andy Agnes Brown who came to me in a dream the summer I turned 20 and today, on the eve of my 40th birthday, remains the children’s book I never wrote. Sandy Andy Agnes Brown may be my dream unrealized, but as my husband always says, tomorrow is a new day.

Learn to say, I love you.
 
And don’t get depressed about turning 40. That’s what Susan told me and Lee while floating on noodles in Lake Norman, North Carolina, three days before her 40th birthday, eight years after surviving breast cancer. And she’s right.
 
Happy birthday, my friends.

Last month, the Oy! team wrote about our loving, Jewish mothers– well, now it’s Dad’s turn.

In honor of Dad’s Day, here are some tales of fatherly love:

Forget the forefathers

By Sharna Marcus 

Sharna, dad and the fam

I always thought it was ironic that we refer to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob as “our fathers.” These three figures had extremely dysfunctional relationships with their children. Abraham almost killed one son at God’s command and tossed the other one out into the middle of the desert.  Isaac’s son, with the help of his wife, tricked him while he was blind on his death bed for the blessing. And Jacob played favorites with Joseph and spent his last dying moments chastising some of his sons for their behavior.

It is difficult to find a Cliff Huxtable type among not only our forefathers, but of any Biblical figure in the Tanakh.

So why do we revere the very men who, if they were our own fathers, would cost us many thousands of dollars on a therapist’s couch?

The answer is for some reason that must go back thousands of years, we revere fathers less for their interactions with their children, and more for their prominence and success in the community.  While we expect mothers to be nurturing, we expect fathers to make us proud inside and outside of the family.

I find it extremely difficult to write about my relationship with my father not because we don’t have a good one, but because our relationship is less based on our interactions and more on who he is and my great respect and admiration for him.

I do have fond memories of my father as a child: he and my uncle swinging me by my arms; singing to me before bed his own version of, “Do you love me?” from Fiddler on the Roof; acting stern but reasonable when I drank the Chocolotini from the liquor cabinet during a slumber party.

But when I think about my dad I think less about him and me and more about him for himself.

I think about how he came from very modest beginnings (Chicken farmer), to receive a scholarship to Purdue earning a bachelors and masters in five years, to becoming a respected businessman.  I think about how much my mother’s mother and father adored him for being a good husband to my mother. I think about how my Zadie and his six siblings entrusted my dad with their family business. I think about how he has been the president of too many Jewish organizations to list. I think about how, after his mother died, he brought my grandpa from New York to South Bend to live with us for a few months until the care became too much and he moved him to a retirement home, where my dad visited at least once a week, usually more. I think about the favors he does for friends. I think about the money he has donated to many organizations. I think of him putting pills for my grandparents in their pill box, looking like a pharmacist, followed by paying their monthly bills when they no longer could.  I think about his honest reputation and tremendous integrity, so much so that he is the “go to” person for many, many people for advice, including myself.

I don’t make a move financially without talking to my dad. I don’t make a move professionally without talking to my dad. Some might call this childish, I call it smart, because my dad is wiser than I am, and even if I don’t follow his advice (which I usually do) I at least want to hear it.

His sometimes Solomonic wisdom can be dispassionate, which isn’t always what I want, but is often what I need. He has taught me to be reasonable when I might want to be emotional. And most importantly, he has taught me to take care of myself.

I can tell you stories when he got it wrong as a parent, but that’s my point of view, not an objective one.

Objectively, by anyone’s standards, he is a great man and a great father. Happy father’s day Dad!

Three lessons from my father

By Michael Bregman

Mike with the Bear

My dad, affectionately known as “Bear” by close friends and family, is an imposing figure. There is nothing he can’t fix, and he looks like a cross between the dad from the “Wonder Years” and Abe Vigoda. Beyond his 6’3” frame, my dad is a caring and devoted father. Without his guidance (and that of my mom), I would probably be face down in a gutter somewhere or wandering the streets hungry and naked as I tried to fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a fire engine.

Lesson number one: You only have one brother. Never let anything come between you.
For my dad, whose older brother tragically drowned in a lagoon as a child, the brotherly bond is paramount. Each time my brother and I fought my dad would literally whimper and beg us to stop. Seriously, even a simple noogie elicited a whopper of Jewish guilt.

My brother and I support each other at every step of our lives, especially now as we are preparing for our careers. “A doctor and a lawyer” sounds good to any Jewish parents, but who is going to mess with a massive red fire truck? In any event, our parents are our rock.

Lesson number two: Work hard for yourself and your family and don’t look back.
My dad didn’t have the luxury of growing into adulthood with such a rock; He lost his own father to cancer when he was 14. The loss of his brother and father influenced the kind of father that he became. When I was a baby, he would sit next to me in my high-chair, meticulously breaking my Cheerios in half out of fear that I would choke. My dad dropped us off and picked us up from school every day. He has always made sure to do those things that his father wasn’t able to do, all while working hard to provide for us.

Last year, I started my first year of law school while working 40 hours a week. Occasionally, after long night classes, my parents pick me up, with a care package, and give me a lift to my apartment. Through every challenge, my dad has been there for me. I can’t imagine doing what I do without him, as he had to do without his father.

Lesson number three: Speak up for yourself.
Right or wrong, my dad always stood up for us. Unlike him, I was shy and quiet until high school. I realized, by myself but in my dad’s example, that I would have to find my own voice. I plan to take his example of a strong, confident voice into my career as an attorney.

When I taught in the Bronx, most of my students did not live with their fathers. My most successful student did not know his father, but he improved two grade levels in reading during his one year in my class. Even though he has no father to speak up for him, I did my best to give him the tools so that one day he may speak up for himself.

I hope to do the same one day for my own kids.

If I were a boy…

By Cheryl Jacobs 

My dad and I enjoying another hobby we share in common

I’m the (very) youngest of my dad’s three girls.  There is an 18 year age difference between me and my sisters and it took my mom five years to convince my dad to have another child.  While my dad has never admitted to it, part of the third child bargain meant I was to be a boy and for nine months, everyone, including him, assumed I would be.  Oops!

So, what did this mean for our father-daughter relationship?  Sports.  My father was determined to have one daughter who appreciated Chicago’s professional sports teams, starting with his beloved Bears.  This was the 80’s, the time of Mike Ditka, Walter Payton and the “Fridge.”  He wanted someone to share this enthusiasm during such a historic era.   He wasn’t successful.  I have very distinct memories trying to hide under many blankets at multiple Bears games** wishing I was anywhere else and there was no way I was watching a game at home with him on TV.

While I didn’t catch Bears fever, my dad found other ways to take advantage of having a young child, particularly around Halloween.  While my mom primarily supervised my trick or treating exploits, there was one house each year we reserved for my father, the one belonging to our neighbor, Michael Jordan.  My dad would get his once-a-year moment to bask in the presence of MJ while he handed out candy to me and my friends.  I did have a slightly higher tolerance for the Bulls, particularly Michael Jordan, and I’d willingly go to those games, but I spent most of the time eating and wandering the stadium.

With two older sisters and my mom steering me towards all things girly, my dad never really stood a chance, but he tried hard and he did succeed in one arena— the Cubs.

Every year, I looked forward to Cubs season and attending games with my dad.  There is no better feeling than spending a warm summer day in Wrigley field watching my beloved team play some ball.  I can’t really explain the obsession, maybe baseball was easier for me to follow, but that’s where my dad succeeded in getting his “boy.”** And while my dad probably won’t admit it, it’s been my influence (and my ticket buying addiction) that has made him a bigger Cubs fan.

This year we have a new Cubs fan in the family (and he’s a boy!), my nephew Matt.  He’s the first grandchild to show any Cubs enthusiasm, and were both hoping he will continue on the family rooting tradition.

The three of us will be celebrating Matt’s first Cubs game and Father’s Day over at Wrigley Field. 

Love you Dad—Happy Father’s Day!

** While it took a few years and a boyfriend to get me into football, I love the Bears now and I can’t believe I took for granted my grandfather’s no-longer-in-existence Bears season tickets.
*** Yes, for those of you who’ve been listening to my Cubs temper tantrum, they’re still my beloved team, even though I plan to spend this season pouting about DeRosa and Wood and bashing Milton Bradley and Jim Hendry. 

My dad, Dr. North Shore 

By Stefanie Pervos 

Me and my dad in Arizona

My dad is kind of a celebrity. He’s so famous that we can’t go anywhere—not out for dinner or on vacation to Disneyworld or even Israel—without seeing some of his adoring fans. The phone is constantly ringing off the hook with calls for him. And people are always asking him for advice…well, medical advice…

 Now I know what you’re thinking but no, my dad isn’t Dr. Phil or Patrick Dempsey—he’s a pediatrician. But he’s a famous pediatrician—well at least from Northbrook to Arlington Heights.  Seriously, ask any parent in the North Shore if they know Dr. Pervos, and they’ll not only know him, they’ll rave about him: “Dr. Pervos is so wonderful! He’s so kind and gentle with the kids—we won’t take our kids to see anyone else!”

The life of a celebrity-pediatrician isn’t easy. He is constantly working, running back and forth between his two offices, and when he’s not there, he’s making rounds at the hospital or doing paperwork at home. He’s on call almost 24/7, answering questions that range from ridiculous to tragic, from sore throats to cancer. But he answers every call with patience and consideration (unless you’re a family member, in which case he tells you to suck it up and go to school/work).

Despite his rigorous work schedule and masses of adoring fans to attend to, luckily for me and my sister, our celebrity-pediatrician dad also makes plenty of time for us (unless of course it’s Sunday morning—that’s golf day—or if the White Sox are playing). He was one of only a handful of dads in the stands at the ice rink at 6 a.m., cheering us on with all the other “skating moms” and he spent hours transferring videos and later DVDs with theme music and picture menus (yeah, it’s nerdy). 

 Dad always listens to our tales of strict teachers, mean boyfriends, catty girlfriends and stomachaches and sits through shopping trip after shopping trip. Though he often gets stressed out and upset with us—like when we overdraw on our checking accounts, or accidentally back our new car into the garage door (okay that time he was furious), or can’t seem to wake up or get ready in time, ever— he can almost never stay mad (my “groundings” never lasted more than an hour). 

He wears the doctor’s “uniform” of khaki pants and topsider loafers almost every day. He can talk your ear off about golf and the White Sox (and did I mention, golf and the White Sox?). He’s obsessed with Arizona (no we do not need another southwest themed piece of Judaica), has to stop and talk with everyone at the grocery store and gets really cranky on “call” weekends (not with patients, just with us).

But the truth is my dad’s not a celebrity because he rocked a Weird Al mustache for 36 years (which he recently shaved because, seriously, who still has a mustache?). He’s famous because he’s the kind of person, the kind of dad, and the kind of doctor, that everyone wants for their children. 

Speaking of, if you’re in the market, my celebrity-pediatrician Dad will be opening a Sanders Court Pediatrics office in the new Affinity building in Buffalo Grove next month!  (Good plug, huh Dad?-Love you!)

Rock Solid Dad

By Rabbi Taron Tachman 

Me and my rock solid dad

At age seven I was crazy about collecting rocks.  Once a month, as a treat, Dad would take me to my favorite rock and mineral shop where I’d lust over semi-precious stones such as purple amethysts, dark and haunting Tiger’s Eyes and ever-shiny chunks of Fool’s Gold.  My all time favorite gem was the Geode—an ugly on the outside round volcanic rock that when split-open revealed a colorful landscape of gleaming crystals.  The trouble with Geodes back then was that they were more money than I could afford as a kid.

One day I got the bright idea that if I gathered in my backyard a bunch of mediocre rocks and then broke them open like Geodes, the collective value of all the little stones would equal that of one nicer stone at the rock shop. My parents went along with the idea and I collected and smashed stones for hours. I never worked so hard in my life! Later on, my mom helped me package my findings by neatly arranging them in a fancy shirtbox and lining the box with pretty blue tissue paper.

Dad then drove me to the rock store where I presented to the store clerk the proud work of my hands and asked to make a trade. After taking one glance at the dull, broken fragments of sand and limestone, the clerk understandably shot me one of those: “YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME” looks.  I was completely deflated and embarrassed. I mean I had worked so hard!!  And then suddenly without explanation, the man’s demeanor miraculously changed for the better.  He brightened up and with smile on his face he gingerly led me over to a shelf where he told me I could pick any rock I wanted.  Though I couldn’t figure out what had come over the clerk, I was elated.  Without hesitation, I chose for myself the cantaloupe-sized Geode that I had desired for an entire year. Today I still treasure that Geode…The End……

NOW WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE!! You are probably wondering why the clerk suddenly changed his tune.  Years later I think I figured it out. Just after I presented my proud work for the trade ---I can now picture my father standing behind me and dangling in the plane sight of the store clerk, a crisp $20 bill.  As soon as the clerk saw this bill, he smiled and took me to a shelf of rocks each valued at that price.  And though my father, the gentleman that he is, still denies that this is what truly happened that day (so that I can remain proud of my trade), I know the truth.  The truth is, in this story (and in so many more like it) it is my dad who is the real gem. I love you Dad!  Happy Father’s Day!

Horse shows, polo shirts and video tapes

By Lindsey Bissett 

My sister and I have been riding and showing horses for most of our lives. Therefore, our dad has been going to horse shows for most of our lives. We were in Pony Club for what seems like forever—we spent so much time going to lessons, cleaning tack, studying for ratings; even our wardrobes were decked out with our club’s logo. My dad had so many Miami Valley Pony Club polo shirts he has a separate drawer in his dresser for them. When we’d go to a weeklong horse show I just thought that he wore the same outfit every day and that he didn’t mind being super stinky. Turns out he’s a pretty clean guy and had eight of the exact same shirt.

We have 10 years worth of video coverage from all our glories and mishaps, and if you look closely, Dad is in the background of every single tape... wearing the exact same outfit. Kinda creepy, kinda really awesome. In the earlier tapes he’s just chasing after us on the jump course trying to get a good picture, but when he started spooking our horses we all decided it was for the best to leave the photos to the professionals and put Dad on the jump crew to set up the courses and fix knocked down rails. Sometimes he’d be out on the course until 8 at night following drill sergeant directions from the course designers. He was such a good volunteer that one year they offered to pay for his hotel during the show. But, because of his jump crew dedication I’d forget he was even there. (Sorry, Dad.) But then when I’d get home and watch the video, there he was, jogging alongside my horse, in his green polo. I just had no idea.

So, in honor of Dad, my sister and I (and I only say “I” because I’m in the video, not because I was of much help in the production) put together a video tribute to his years of volunteer service. Thanks Trysta. And extra big thanks Dad.

“Rod Blagojevich Superstar”

Much has been written and said about the embattled, former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich over the past few months. And yet in this very blog, it is my pleasure to report some brand new, breaking news you might not have known about Blago:

He’s been paying my mortgage since February.

No, Blago hasn’t been funneling money into my checking account as if he was Shawn Kemp and I was a horny NBA groupie in the mid-1990’s. But he did serve as the impetus for a musical I co-wrote for The Second City, “Rod Blagojevich Superstar,” currently playing at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. My writing partner Ed Furman and I wrote the show shortly after word of Blagojevich’s impeachment became front-page news. It was only supposed to run for a short time at Second City e.t.c.; and at least one critic who shall remain nameless (OK, no he won’t: it was some dude I’d never heard of named Dan Zeff) assured his readers, in so many words,  that the show would be short-lived and quickly forgotten.

That review was published shortly after the Steelers won the Super Bowl, in February. In the four months that have passed, Dick Cheney has become America’s leading advocate for gay marriage, Sarah Palin has tried (and, naturally, failed) to turn David Letterman into a dangerous pedophile, and “Rod Blagojevich Superstar” is entering its’ fifth month; playing to packed houses who can’t get enough of Springfield’s former least favorite son.

The show was recently extended through August 9, and to announce the extension, a far-fetched idea was dreamed up to have Rod Blagojevich “guest star” during a performance of the show. The idea was, at best, a laughable pipe dream. Even someone as self-involved as Rod Blagojevich wouldn’t dream of being part of a show in which he’s so ruthlessly satirized, right?

Leave it to Blago to prove us wrong. Orchestrated by Second City vice-president Kelly Leonard, who’s also my boss and is therefore the single greatest human being of all time (please tell him I said that), Blago actually agreed to do the show. He was paid a nominal fee for his time; a portion of which was donated to the much deserving charity, Gilda’s Club. He was to participate in the opening musical number, (which features lyrics like “are you as nuts as we think you are?”) announce the extension, and be a part of the improvised second act. The cast, crew and creative team were in disbelief once his appearance was confirmed. Could this really be happening? Would he actually show up? Would one of us get punched in the face once he heard the lyrics ascribed to his wife in her tender ballad, “I Don’t Know How to F**king Love Him?”

Blago showed up around 6 for a 7 p.m. curtain and was quickly implemented into the opening number amongst a mostly speechless cast. From the get-go, he seemed excited – if a little nervous – to be with us. He appeared oblivious to the potential of the mercilessly wicked satire of his own life that was to come, which was fine by us. As part of his agreement to appear in the show, he would soon join the audience in a choice aisle seat to watch the show. Imagine your personal life, and the rise and fall of your career, satirized by Second City for an hour through one liners and show-tunes, all while you sat and watched about 20 feet away. You probably wouldn’t want to sit through that. Then again, you’re not Rod Blagojevich. You’re welcome.

The cast of Rod Blagojevich Superstar

I had the opportunity to speak with Blago backstage before the show, and found him to be genial, interesting and hilarious. He also attempted to convince the cast and crew of his innocence, insisting in an all too familiar way for anyone who’s followed this saga that a majority of the otherwise incriminating wire-taped phone conversations the public has yet to hear will exonerate him of any wrongdoing. He held court backstage to an enraptured cast and crew, as we listened to his stories about Jesse Jackson Jr., his wife’s experience on the NBC reality show, “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here,” (he asked us to vote for her) his acrimonious relationship through the years with Mayor Daley, among many other unprintable topics in this family-friendly blog. One thing was clear: the man loves to talk. Cameras or no cameras, he told stories for nearly a full hour as we all listened in disbelief. As the clock neared seven, the cast and Mr. Blagojevich did a brief warm up – you’d have to see Blago warming up with a hearty round of “Zip-Zap-Zop” for yourself to believe it.

The cast and Blago received their places call, and Ed and I were ushered to our seats. The audience was buzzing, completely unsure of what to expect – not unlike those of us personally involved in the proceedings. The house lights dimmed, the opening notes emanated from the piano, and from an upstage chair rose Rod Blagojevich. The audience responded just as I’d expected: with wild cheers and applause. For one brief moment, Rod Blagojvich had more in common with Barack Obama than he did George Ryan. Scandal be damned, the public – at least those assembled at Chicago Shakespeare Theater that night – were caught up in the outrageousness and uniqueness of that particular moment, and just went with it.

Shortly after Blago appeared onstage, he read a short monologue that told of the extension. He also used the opportunity onstage to tell a few jokes, including, immediately following the raucous applause, “where were you when I was getting impeached?” It was clear that the enormity and strangeness of the moment didn’t seem to phase him, nor did coming back to perform in the improvised second act, where the supremely talented and nimble cast improvised off of comments Blago made about his life.

That Blago stuck around after the show concluded was amazing in itself. I was seated in the balcony, directly above Blago, and it was obvious that he smiled infrequently during the show, and occasionally held his head in his hands; as did I every time I knew an offensive lyric or joke was coming. (And there are many.) Despite this, once the show was over, he thanked the cast, laughingly called the entire show “bulls**t”, then was briskly escorted from the theater. Blago had saved his last surprise for the end of the evening. Upon seeing the throng of assembled national media gathered in the press room, he did the last thing we expected – he kept his mouth shut and got the hell out of the theater faster than a White Sox fan leaving U.S. Cellular field at the end of a night game.

As the evening concluded, most of us involved in the show – a collection of cynical creative types – came to a strangely similar conclusion: maybe Blago isn’t deserving of all the scorn heaped upon him. After all, there are many other public figures who are even more worthy of our disrespect; whether they’re politicians who’ve ensured that we’ll forever pay through the nose to merely park on a city street, or media blowhards who believe it’s inherently patriotic to wish failure for President Obama. Folks like these make Rod Blagojevich look like “J.D. Power’s 2009 Man Of The Year”.

TJ with the man himself

After my night backstage with Blago, I’m still not entirely certain what his motives are. Even Dr. Freud would likely be stumped trying to figure this one out. (But oy; all those billable hours trying to do it!) That said, he absolutely exuded a charm, likeability, and, however misguided, a doggedness that gave me legitimate reason to re-think my perhaps over-inflated outrage at the man’s actions.

And yet, that very over-inflated outrage is a big reason why “Rod Blagojevich Superstar” is such a hit. Therein lies the dilemma: can one be sympathetic towards a person who made some of the worst decisions of any elected official in a state historically full of them?

The answer is yes. As long as he keeps paying my mortgage.

T.J. Shanoff is a writer, director, and musical director for The Second City. Click here to read his full bio, and here for more information on “Rod Blagojevich Superstar” now extended through August 9 at  Chicago Shakespeare Theater .

When comedy takes center stage in Chicago from June 17-21 for TBS Presents A “Very Funny” Festival: Just for Laughs Chicago, Jewish Chicago comedian Susan Messing will be at the ready with her unique brand of uncensored improv comedy.

The New Jersey native and Northwestern University graduate has been making Chicagoans laugh for more than 20 years at funny venues around Chicago. She is a founding member of the Annoyance Theatre, where she has created her own improv show “Messing with a Friend,” running every Thursday night for the past three years. She performs with Chicago’s iO Theatre, and creates and teaches curriculum for iO both here and in Los Angeles. And she wrote and performed in two main stage revues at Chicago’s Second City, and directed its National Touring Company.

Her daughter, Sofia Mia, a recent kindergarten graduate, is “very six, very ridiculous, and very awesome,” Messing says.  So awesome, that she inspired her mother—a cussing fanatic—to install a “swear jar” in their home.

Messing will perform “Messing with a Friend” as part of the TBS Presents A “Very Funny” Festival: Just for Laughs Chicago, in two shows at the Annoyance Theatre on Thursday, June 18. For tickets, call the theatre at (773) 561-4665 or visit www.annoyanceproductions.com or www.justforlaughschicago.com.

Messing recently sat down for an interview with Oy!Chicago to talk laughs, Jewishness and swear words:

Oy!Chicago: What do you love about doing improv? 
Susan Messing: “I’m in the Mecca [in Chicago] of improvisation, not just for the country but for the world. It works for me because I’ve been making up stuff all my life and I just didn’t know there was a name for it. So when I started doing it, I was like ‘Oh my God. This is like breathing.” If the [improv sketch] was awful, you’d never see your scene again and if it was wonderful, you’d never see your scene again. That’s the beauty and the horror of the beast.

How do your gigs at the Annoyance, iO, and The Second City vary from each other?
They draw from everything I’ve wanted to be and everything I’ve never wanted to be. I’m known for uncensored comedy—that’s where the Annoyance protects you. When I’m at Annoyance, I’m just playing. When I’m at Second City, I’m doing political and social satire. When I’m at iO, I’m doing teamwork and working with a group mind.

What can audiences expect from your show ‘Messing with a Friend?’
After 17-18 years of being an improviser…Part of me cannot believe I am so arrogant to do a show with my own name it. That’s so creepy because we’re all taught to work together. So if you do something on your own, it feels just wrong and odd. I’ve always been trying to be a good team member and play well with the other kids. Then, I said, ‘fuck it.’ I want to do what I want to do. Now I get to play with whomever I want. We get a suggestion and we just [play around].

Are you excited to perform for the ‘Just for Laughs’ festival?
I’m excited about it. [Many of the comedians] are doing stand up. I think that’s an awesome art and I have done stand up and enjoy it, but I really don’t like going off on my own. I get at least half of my show off of my friend. Why not just be inspired by what the hell’s right in front of you instead of making up something better?

What inspires your comedy?
I’m inspired in comedy by seeing a horrible episode of “Deadliest Catch.” The interesting thing is I do not watch comedy any more. Maybe there’s something about me where I don’t want to inadvertently take [other comedians’] shtick. I’m widely proud of my highly successful friends. I think “Judge Judy” is more interesting though. There are about 3,000 different kinds of stupid on that show a day…And “The Bachelorette?” Funny! I also like “Survivor,” because I like seeing how people can deal with subterfuge and lying while they are working as a team in order to win and to see when teamwork works and when it doesn’t.

What was your Jewish upbringing like?
I was raised Conservative and had a bat mitzvah. I feel like I’m sociologically and culturally Jewish. I just went back home to Short Hills, New Jersey for Pesach and looked through the Haggadah and we couldn’t have gone through it faster. The one thing that keeps me being a Jew is knowing and questioning the existence of God. That’s part and parcel for the course.

What are you teaching your daughter about her Jewish identity?
Based on Jewish law, Sofia is Jewish (Sofia’s father, who is divorced from Messing, is not Jewish). I feel like she should be taught some of the Jewish stuff….because I can see her trying to figure out what she believes. Even now, she’ll ask about Papa Bob, my dad, who is dead. So I tell her that he lives in the sky, he smiles, and he gets us good parking spots. I’m not really sure what our beliefs are on the after-life and all that good stuff. I don’t know why we put little boxes on our heads, I don’t know why we do what we do.

Are you working on swearing a little less now that you have a daughter who mimics your every word?
We have a swear jar at home. In the first two weeks of Sofia’s life, we had collected $94 at $0.25 a swear word. My child is not going to state school at this rate. I swear like a motherfucker.

My next door neighbors at Tabor Absorption Center, Israel, 1994. The grandma, of blessed memory, used to cover one nostril and blow her nose directly onto the linoleum floor with astounding nonchalance. Of perhaps greater relevance, the mom (seated) permanently changed my view of childbirth.

When it came time to deliver, my Ethiopian neighbors used to squat, yelp, yelp some more, and pop out those little babies. Then and only then would they call for an ambulance. At least, that’s what Benny the security guard told me, and he should know. He witnessed it five times.

Eight years later, the scenery had changed. Benny the security guard was now my husband and the view out our window was no longer the hills of Upper Nazareth but the sloped embankment of some not-so-scenic El tracks in southeast Evanston.

It was our turn now. Benny and I were ready to procreate. At least, we’d successfully deceived ourselves into thinking we were ready. And we remembered our former neighbors.

If Ethiopian women could squat, yelp and deliver -- why should I subject myself to the Western world of obstetrics-gynecology, in all its induced, episiotomied, caesarian section glory? Hadn’t I successfully turned a roundoff, back handspring, back flip the summer before fifth grade?  Hadn’t I, at age 28, ridden my bike 500 miles in five days with only modest butt-chafing? Hadn’t I mastered Pilates teasers and other abdominal torture? My body was made for this.

That’s what I told myself.  But the truth is, part of me longed for a nice silent, sterile C-section.

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but skinny girls hate their bodies, too. You know those kids in the gym locker room who changed their clothes without giving anyone a glimpse of their underwear? That was me. I won the Silent Camper award at overnight camp (where, it goes without saying, I showered during off-hours). I wore XL shirts on my 120 lb. frame from age 12 to 21, simply as a distraction. (No, I didn’t think I was fat – just ugly.) I walked around my entire junior year with my right hand plastered to the side of my face in an attempt to hide three small moles (as if, that didn’t draw attention). I even sneezed silently.

So the thought of making loud, guttural noises up and down a maternity ward – with my ass hanging out – held no appeal.

Here’s how I got over it.

Not one for secrets, surprises, or superstition, I told pretty much everyone I was pregnant within days of conception and then got busy preparing myself. The first person I told, on the train approximately 46 minutes after watching that little blue line appear on the pregnancy test, gave me the name of his midwife.

Debi Lesnick, CNM. To Debi, I was never merely a uterus, an inconvenience, or an imminent complication. I was a person – a wise, strong, capable person on an extraordinary journey – and I felt cared for. So much so that I kept her business card in my wallet and bedside drawer for the next five years.

Debi told us about a class in Andersonville taught by Mary Sommers. For six consecutive weeks, Benny (the security guard turned husband turned doula) and I learned the ins and outs of natural childbirth. He learned how to apply counter pressure, both on my back during a contraction and to any doctor pushing pitocin. You need to know enough to know what’s right for you at any given moment. 

So I had my team – Debi, Mary, Benny. And I had my inspiration – the Ethiopian women of Tabor Absorption Center.

But sisters, I’m not going to lie to you. Squat, yelp and deliver, my ass. My former neighbors were clearly not having their first babies, sunny-side up, weighing in at 8.3 lbs. It hurt like bloody hell.

After 13 hours of back labor, uninhibited nudity and bodily fluids (because really – who gives a fuck when it comes down to it), one bite of purple popsicle in the labor tub, 90 minutes of pushing, and plenty – believe me, plenty – of loud guttural noises, Emma Sigal was born with her hand plastered to the side of her face. And Benny, the proud abba, cut the cord.

While I took pride in my Pilates teasers, flips, and marathon bike rides, nothing compared to childbirth. I had grown a person from scratch.

Emma is now six; her sister just turned five. And with two little girls watching, I try to send the right messages about beauty, about bodies, about strength. It’s hard to begrudge your barely B cups after they’ve nourished two kids to toddlerhood. What’s a few stretch marks, when you know why you stretched? Diapers trump vanity, contractions give you strength.

Not that I’d deny that at 2:41 this morning, my daughter woke me up to cover her and on my way back to bed, I ducked into the bathroom to get rid of a few pesky chin hairs.

The sad thing is, Emma – at just six – already engages in a daily battle to straighten her bouncy curls. Some days, she complains about her unibrow and moles and rounded belly. They’re beauty marks, I tell her. Your body is just right, I tell her. Look how fast you run.

Dana and Emma, making noise.

Three days after Emma was born, I wrote a poem in my journal. We’ll call it hormone-induced, if you don’t mind.

EMMA
I found my voice.
I found my heart.
I found my strength.
When I had you.

Someday I’ll tell her about the Ethiopians. And electrolysis.

20 something Rogers Park resident Jennifer Rottner contacted Oy!Chicago about a month ago to suggest we profile her father, Deputy Chief Chicago Police Officer Bruce Rottner, for A JYSK. We think he’s a really cool dad and you’ll be reading more about him in the coming weeks. (Jennifer will be writing a tribute to him for our Father’s Day issue.) But we quickly realized that the real Jew You Should Know is Jennifer!

Jennifer is the scheduling & advance coordinator for the Governor of Illinois, which means she’s responsible for planning the logistics behind all of his public events. Jennifer has been at the job for three years, and if you’re familiar with the goings-on of the governor’s office, and haven’t been living under a rock, you’d know that means she worked for former Governor turned indicted politician and reality show wannabe Rod Blagojevich. Jennifer survived the transition and now happily works for Governor Quinn.

Jennifer describes herself as a gym obsessed foodie who enjoys staying home “watching murder-mystery documentaries on MSNBC or TruTV” just as much as she enjoys girls’ night out. She sports several kabbalah related tattoos and has a penchant for target practice. So if you’re super close to your family, always carry two blackberries and consider yourself a “rebel Jew,” then Jennifer Rottner is a Jew you should know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
I read CNN.com religiously every morning, followed by Dlisted.com (my all-time favorite celeb blog). I am just as interested in President Obama’s nomination for the Supreme Court as I am about which pop star was arrested in the last 24 hours. I like to think it keeps me balanced.

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
Everywhere! I love to travel and although I’ve been to a handful of amazing places, I am far from being “well traveled”. I’ve never been to Europe or South America, so those are a top priority. I’d also love to spend some time in South Africa and Australia.

3. If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
Although I’m clearly not blonde, I’d say Kate Hudson. She is funny, quirky, and witty and a few of my friends say we have similar mannerisms and even look alike at times. I think she’s beautiful, so if they say so, I may as well agree!

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
First, I’d say John F. Kennedy. I am oddly fascinated by the Kennedy family, especially the assassination of JFK (and the conspiracy behind it…I have my own theory). Then I’d say my grandmother, because she was my best friend and one of the most kind-hearted, warm, intelligent and loving people I have ever known. Ideally, I’d like to go to Rockit, because I could eat their turkey burger and truffle fries on a daily basis…but my grandmother would probably insist on cooking, so I’d say we’d eat potato pancakes and chocolate bundt cake at her house!

5. What’s your idea of the perfect day?
It would be 78 degrees, sunny and no humidity. I’d wake up around 9am, head to the gym for an hour and then get the biggest cup of coffee Intellegentsia has to offer. I’d spend the day doing all the things I can never get done during the week (maybe throw in a mani/pedi for good measure). Then I’d meet my girls for a drink, before meeting my boyfriend at Table 52 for macaroni and cheese and Hummingbird Cake.

6. What do you love about what you do?
I love that my job has allowed me to meet and interact with some truly incredible people. I met Sgt. Daniel Casara two years ago at an event with the Governor, a solider who served in Iraq and was critically injured after his armored carrier rolled over an IED. He now dedicates himself to helping other veterans coming back from the war recover and get back to their everyday lives. I met Donna Marquez about a month ago at another event the Governor attended. Her brother Donald, a Chicago Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty in 2002. As a result, her family helped to open the Donald J. Marquez C School in his memory, which not only offers law enforcement classes but was also honored with one of 31 Gold LEED certifications in the country.

Those are just a few of the people I’ve encountered doing this job and there are so many others who have touched me and stay with me everyday…making me feel very fortunate to do the work that I do.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
I would have loved to do something in fashion. Working as a stylist or as a fashion editor for a magazine, I just love everything about the industry. This could explain my slight shopping addiction…

8. What’s your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago?
I’d say the Lox & Bagel Shoot. My father is very involved in the Shomrim Society (fraternal organization of Jewish Law Enforcement Officers in Chicago). Every April, they host an event called the Lox & Bagel Shoot at the Chicago Police Academy, which is a brunch, followed by a shooting competition. I don’t think anything is more Jewish or Chicago than eating lox and bagels at the Chicago Police Academy while testing out your skills at the range!

Director Harold Ramis on the set of Columbia Pictures comedy "Year One." Photo credit: Suzanne Hanover. 2009 Columbia Tristar Marketing Group. All Rights Reserved.

Chicago Jewish filmmaker Harold Ramis’s filmography reads like an encyclopedia of great comic movies of the last 30 years. He is the brains—either writer/director or both—behind some of the most often quoted and referred-to film comedies of recent decades like “Animal House,” “Meatballs,” “Caddyshack,” “Stripes,” “National Lampoon’s Vacation,” “Ghostbusters,” Groundhog Day,” and “Analyze This.” A Chicago native and a Chicago’s “Second City” alum, Ramis returned to the Windy City years ago from Hollywood to live closer to his parents, and now lives in Glencoe.

His newest comedy, “Year One,” hits theaters June 19. The movie follows Jack Black and Michael Cera as lazy tribesmen—with contemporary sensibilities—who are banished from their primitive village and embark on an adventure through the ancient world, running into Biblical heavyweights like Abraham, Isaac, and Cain and Abel along the way.

Jack Black, left, and Michael Cera in Columbia Pictures "Year One." Photo credit: Suzanne Hanover. 2009 Columbia Tristar Marketing Group. All Rights Reserved.

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL), through the support of Steve Miller, will feature “An Evening with Harold Ramis” this Thursday, May 28, at Columbia College’s Film Row Cinema in Chicago. Ramis will discuss how his Jewish identity has influenced his work in Hollywood and will also present clips of his new film.

Oy!Chicago’s Cindy Sher recently did a phone interview with Ramis, who reveals the meaning behind some of his most memorable comedies and how his Jewish identity has informed his professional career.

Oh, and for all you “Ghostbusters” fans out there, Ramis, who starred in and co-wrote the original films, is in the early stages of discussing another “Ghostbusters” sequel. Ramis, a.k.a Dr. Egon Spengler, adds that they’ll only make the sequel “if it’s funny.”

Oy!Chicago: Your movies are constant pop culture references. How does it make you feel to know that so many of your films have made it into the cultural fabric of society?
Harold Ramis: Everyone starts out with big dreams, particularly people who want to be artists or have careers in entertainment. Then, when it happens, you dream about it, you picture it, you imagine what it’s going to be like, and then it’s so weird when it actually happens. You learn that it’s great on so many levels and in such a big way, it doesn’t change anything. You’re still who you are, you still have the same problems and issues and same insecurities, and the same responsibilities. I’m really glad people like these films and that a couple of them have lasted so long and I love doing what I’m doing, but I try not to be grandiose about it or be even more narcissistic than I already am.

Q. You don’t sound too narcissistic to me. Why did you choose a life in Chicago instead of Hollywood?
A. My wife grew up in L.A. and her father was a film director. We liked it out there. We weren’t really refugees to Chicago from there. I came back to Chicago to be near my parents, who were getting too old to travel. My mother passed away and my father is still around. He lives in Northbrook and is 94 years old. I wanted them to know my second family. I’d been married before and had been away all those years and thought this was a chance to reunite my family.

Q. Your movies have so much heart. Is there a common thread that all your movies share?
A. I’ve looked at the first few films I did and thought we were working off a kind of late 60s anti-establishment posture that came out of being in college, a kind of us versus them, the hipsters against the squares, the rebels against the institution. That was “Animal House,” “Stripes,” and “Meatballs.”
Having worked through that, I started looking at other concerns I have, like the movie “Vacation” was about what it was to be a good father and a good husband, two very difficult things to do in life.

Then I made three films—“Groundhog Day,” “Multiplicity,” and “Bedazzled”—about what it really is to be a good person in general. “Groundhog Day” is about how we use our time and priorities, losing our narcissism and vanity, taking a good look at others, and being in the moment. Then “Multiplicity” is about the divided self, the things that pull us in different directions and how can we integrate ourselves and be one person. “Bedazzled” is about the things we wish for that we think will make us happy, like money, fame, success, power, sex, good looks—all those things that we think are the keys to happiness and of course the film ends up saying that’s not where happiness comes from. They’re all about navigating in the midst of this great existential despair we’re all born into.

Q. “Groundhog Day” is probably referred to in conversation by my peers about once a week. I read that you said that that was the movie that got you to make “comedies that meant something.” Did you go on to follow that path?
A. I was always looking for meaning in the things I was doing, no matter how broad or silly or gross or crude they seem. To me, the [movies] meant something. “Groundhog Day” was the first film that was overtly about life and how we live it, and the response was so great. It was such a satisfying thing to invest a comedy with your real feelings about the most important issues in life. It made me want to do that again.

Q. What inspired your new movie, “Year One?”
A. “Year One” is a big, broad comedy that really is laced with spiritual content. As I got older, I became more interested in religion. Then, after 9/11, those issues of the competing orthodoxies and fundamentalisms in the world seem to be dragging us deeper into conflict and doing exactly the opposite of what religion is supposed to do, which would be to get people to look inward, to act with compassion in the world, to recognize the humanity in others. That’s the stated goal of every religion, and yet Jews, Muslims, and Christians were going to war with each other, as if the Crusades were happening again. I wanted to talk about that in some way and it seemed like the easiest, least offensive way to talk about it was to go way back, go pre-Christian, pre-Hebrew, pre-Muslim, and set something in the ancient world. On the other hand, I always loved the comic edge of Mel Brooks’s “2000 Year Old Man” or Monty Python’s “Life of Brian.” I like the idea of putting characters with a contemporary consciousness in an ancient setting.

Jack Black stars in Columbia Pictures' comedy "Year One," also starring Michael Cera. Photo credit: Suzanne Hanover. 2009 Columbia Tristar Marketing Group. All Rights Reserved.

Q. How does your Jewish identity influence your work?
A. I use Passover as the central story of Judaism because, for me, it results in two concepts driving it. One is the concept of freedom, personal liberation, and political liberation. The other is the concept of justice—Moses receiving the law. For me, this fits perfectly with my own political liberalism and my yearning for social justice in the world. That’s where my Judaism connects with all my work and with this film in particular. I also wanted to say in this film that regardless of what anyone believes—creation, myths, or what God is or isn’t—the burden is still on us to act responsibly in the world.

Q. What sort of Jewish upbringing in Chicago did you have?
A. I had a Polish grandfather, a Jewish immigrant, who went to an old synagogue on the West Side. I went to another Orthodox Hebrew school… I [later] went to a yeshiva…The moment I was bar mitzvahed, I took that as the signal that I no longer had to do anything.

Q. Do you feel a responsibility as a Jewish role model?
A. Yes, I feel that every Jew represents all Jews in the world…I have associations in Winnetka and Wilmette, not traditional Jewish territory. Sometimes I find myself in country clubs that were restricted or in settings where very few Jews are or have been. In places like that, I get even more Jewish than I am. I start speaking Yiddish and I just feel the need to represent. As an example to Jewish kids, I don’t push religion but I push integrity. I have incorporated a lot of Buddhism into my Jewish thinking too, which a lot of Jews have done. That kind of works for me because the [two religions] are similar. As a Jew and a Buddhist, I try to express a creed that is inclusive and focuses on personal responsibility.

Q. Is life as funny as your movies portray it to be or are your movies an escape from a world that isn’t really funny?
A. Someone once said that when we recognize that the world is insane, we have choices—we can see it as tragedy or we can see it as comedy. Everything can be funny, but not everything is funny. There are horrors and tragedies in life that I would not want to joke about or hear anyone else joke about it. Yet, conceptually, everything seems like fair game. I mourn any person’s death, but death as a concept is valid territory for comedy.

Q. What’s the secret to writing good comedy?
A. It’s all point of view. What fails in most comedy is not that the writers aren’t smart, but that [a lot of comedy] is like other things we’ve seen. To be funny, you need to be original. It’s like the kid who wants to play peek-a-boo. The first couple times it’s funny; the 400th time it’s not that funny…the kind of comedy that really scores is where you reveal or expose something that is deeply embarrassing or deeply shocking or deeply offensive in some way and put it out there in a clever, original way and allow people to process something that they haven’t been able to deal with or express in another way. That’s why there’s so much comedy about sexuality, because the funniest stuff is the stuff we’re most afraid of.

Q. I know you have been asked this a thousand times, but what’s your favorite film and why?
A. I never answer that question because I just love making films and every film I’ve made has been a great experience and I find it almost impossible to separate the results from the process…I love them all.

   

Photo credit Tiffany O'Neill Photography 

Ah, summer.  Finally.  After all the months of winter when you think the sun will never shine again, and the spring, which is mostly cold and rainy, we can settle into summer and all of its promise.  Flip flops and tank tops, hanging at the beach or the pool, all the restaurants putting out tables on the patio, street fairs and festivals.

And barbecues.

Most of us don’t technically barbecue, which requires long, slow cooking and smoking of meats, utilizing skills and equipment only the true devotees possess.  What we do at our “barbecue” parties is grill.  I can’t barbecue to save my life, but I’m pretty handy at the grill.  And all summer long at the family weekend place, if we’re not eating out, dinner is coming off the grill.  Grilled food is the very essence of summer, and while I’m a huge fan of a perfect mahogany-skinned Vienna dog, or a half-pound medium rare Angus burger, eventually you want food that doesn’t require a bun.  And if your friends are anything like my friends, you are about to receive scads of invitations to backyard parties where the invite requests you to “bring a dish to share.” 

So I thought I’d give you some of my favorite go-to grilling recipes, both for jazzing up a random Tuesday dinner, and for bringing something special to the next potluck. 

It is never a bad idea to surprise yourself or your family, so think outside the box.  Some of my go-to grilling items:

Boneless chicken thighs, with or without skin, are a great and more forgiving alternative to breasts.  The slightly higher natural fat content prevents them from drying out on the grill, and the high heat of the grill helps to render that fat out so that they aren’t that much different in calories from breast meat.  Plus the leftovers make the best chicken salad ever.

Skirt steaks and flank steaks are two of my favorite cuts of beef, and much more cost-effective for a party than the usual rib eye or strip steaks.  Both do well in marinades, can be made into creative sandwiches, and are very adaptable to different ethic cuisine—Latin and Asian flavors especially.

Veggies are great on the grill.  I toss them in olive oil with salt and pepper, maybe a squeeze of lemon, sometimes some herbs or spices (fresh thyme is terrific, and dried Herbes de Provence goes with just about everything) and throw them right on the grill.  Everyone does peppers and onions and Portobello mushrooms, but get creative.  Some particular favorites of mine are asparagus, zucchini, carrots (cut into planks), and cauliflower.  And for a real unexpected treat, try a grilled Caesar salad…cut Romaine hearts in half, brush with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper and grill for 1-2 minutes per side.  Do the same with some thin slices of French bread.  Place on a platter, drizzle with your favorite Caesar salad dressing, top with the grilled croutons and shaved Parmesan, and serve with lemon wedges.

Make desserts easy—It’s summer.  It’s hot.  You don’t really want to steam up your kitchen by baking.  And as much as I love pastries, in the summer, what I crave is fruit, and things that are refreshing.  There is no easier dessert than grilled fruit served with ice cream or sorbet.  I do pineapple all the time, but peaches, nectarines, figs and plums are all improved by some time over the coals.  Toss fruit halves or thick slices in a light flavorless oil like canola, and grill a couple of minutes per side.  For a special occasion, after the first turn, sprinkle the tops with brown sugar or sugar in the raw, and some herb or spice (black pepper, grains of paradise, nutmeg, cinnamon, ground coriander, cumin, and thyme are all great with fruit) and then close the lid of the grill for a minute to caramelize.

Photo credit Tiffany O'Neill Photography 

Here are some of my favorite recipes; all can be multiplied up easily:

All Purpose Marinade

This stuff works with anything….chicken, pork, lamb, beef, even heartier fish like swordfish or tuna (but be careful with fish, as the acid in the marinade will start to cook it…no more than 15 minutes!).  One of my favorite applications is to use this on a butterflied leg of lamb, it is always an unexpected treat, and absolutely delicious. 

Juice and zest of one lemon
½ c olive oil
2 T Dijon mustard
1 T minced fresh garlic
4 T fresh rosemary leaves
1 T soy sauce
1 T Worcestershire sauce
1 T red wine vinegar
1 t kosher salt
½ t ground black pepper

Mix all ingredients in Ziploc bag, and add meat of your choosing.  Marinate 30 minutes to four hours in refrigerator, depending on thickness of meat.  Bring meat to room temp in marinade before grilling.  (Discard marinade after you remove meat, do not use as basting sauce.) 

Orechiette with Peas and Feta

1 lb orechiette pasta (or other small shape, like ditalini)
8 oz crumbled feta (reduced fat works fine here, but don’t use fat free)
8 oz frozen peas, petite or baby if you can find them, thawed
1 c celery, diced about ¼ inch

For dressing:
¼ c red wine vinegar
½ c extra virgin olive oil
2 T dried oregano
1 T salt
½ t ground black pepper

Cook pasta to al dente, and drain, run under cold water till cooled but not cold.  In large bowl, toss pasta with feta, celery and peas, and dressing.  Refrigerate until half hour before you want to serve, this salad is better closer to room temp.  Taste for seasoning before serving.

Serves 6

Cucumber and Rice Salad with Parsley and Lime

2 c cooked long-grain white rice
2 cucumbers, peeled, seeded, and cut into 1/2″ pieces
1 bunch scallions, chopped, including a bit of the green
1/2 c (at least) chopped parsley (mint and dill work well too)
1/4 c olive oil
1/2 c freshly squeezed lime juice
a splash of white wine vinegar
1/3 c plain yogurt, preferably Greek
salt and freshly ground pepper (be generous with the salt)
Prepare and combine all of the ingredients while rice is cooking in large bowl. Add the still-warm rice to the cucumber mix and gently combine. Refrigerate salad until ready to serve. Before serving, taste and adjust the seasoning if necessary. It may need another squeeze of lime after sitting.

Serves 4

Perfect Backyard Potato Salad

3 lbs. Yukon Gold potatoes peeled and cut into large chunks
1 red onion, diced as fine as you can
1/3 c rice wine vinegar
½ c canola oil
Salt and pepper to taste
1 bunch chives, chopped fine

Boil potatoes in salted water till fork tender…do not overcook or they will get waterlogged.  Soak onions in vinegar.  Drain potatoes thoroughly, and pour over vinegar/onion mixture and oil, and mix gently, trying not to break up potatoes.  Let sit at room temperature, tossing occasionally until cooled.  Taste for salt and pepper.  Garnish with chopped chives.  This salad is better if it never gets refrigerated, and there is nothing in it to go bad or get rancid, so it is the perfect thing to bring to an outdoor party where food is likely to sit out. 

Serves 6-8

Greek Burgers with Feta and Tzatziki

For burgers:
3 pounds ground lamb
1 slice white bread, stale
3 T milk
2 medium yellow onions, grated
2 cloves garlic, grated
1 T kosher salt
1 t ground black pepper
2 t cumin
1 T flat leaf parsley, minced fine
1 t dried mint

For tzatziki:
1 c greek yogurt
½ seedless cucumber, grated and squeezed dry in towel to remove excess water
½ small yellow onion, grated
1 t kosher salt
1 clove garlic, grated
1 t lemon juice
1 T olive oil

6 large pita breads for main course or 18 mini pitas for sliders
Olive oil
1 tomato, sliced thin (or cherry tomatoes for sliders)
1 small sweet onion, sliced thin (or shallots for sliders)
Shredded lettuce
Optional:  1 c crumbled feta

Remove crust from bread and soak in milk for 10 minutes.  Mix all ingredients except meat in large bowl until well blended.  Add meat and mix lightly with tips of fingers until onion mixture is full incorporated into the meat, try not to over mix.  Form into 6 equal patties for main course, or 18 sliders for appetizers.  Chill.  Mix all tzatziki ingredients in bowl until well blended.  Chill.

Heat half grill to high, or pile coals on one side.

Lightly oil both sides of patties and sear on both sides over direct heat.  Move to unheated side of grill and close cover.  Finish to medium rare towards medium.  Remove to plate, cover with foil, and let rest 5 minutes. 

Slice a 1 inch strip off one side of each pita bread, for ease of opening.  Brush pita breads with olive oil and grill 1 minute per side until soft.  Carefully open pitas and insert burgers.  Dress with tzatziki, tomato, onion, and shredded lettuce, and feta cheese if desired.

Serves 6 as main course, or 18 for appetizers

NOSH of the week:  If you’re hosting a party, remember that in the heat, people need to hydrate, and beer and wine, while delicious, do not take care of this basic need.  Try making large pitchers of flavored waters, they are refreshing and healthy, with just enough flavor to make your guests want to drink them.  In a large pitcher of ice water, put any of the following:  one sliced English cucumber, ½ lb halved strawberries, two small sliced apples.  You can combine any two of these easily.  Let steep for at least two hours to overnight. 

NOSH food read of the week:  A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg
This book the best of all possible worlds, a memoir that reads like a wonderful novel, characters you fall in love with and root for, gorgeous descriptions of meals and celebrations, wonderful and cookable recipes, and a sense of possibility and joy that will brighten your day immeasurably.  Be careful, once you start you won’t want to put it down…I devoured it in one indulgent, delicious sitting.

Elisa Albert 

I stumbled upon Elisa Albert’s  The Book of Dahlia  at Borders one day, looking for some light reading to bring on a girls’ weekend to Vegas. And while I didn’t get light reading by any stretch of the imagination, I did get hooked–on Albert’s dark, witty prose and the bizarre way she managed to turn life—and death—on its head. The book’s main character, Dahlia, is a brash, uninspired, bitter, underachieving 29-year-old when she finds out she has terminal brain cancer. As I read, following Dahlia as she hurled toward death, I found myself snickering at parts—it seemed at once both the wrong and right thing to do—and crying at others.

When I finished, I wanted more. So I picked up Albert’s first book, a collection of short stories titled  How This Night is Different , which follows several young Jews as they struggle to find their place in this world and a place for Judaism in their conflicted lives.

In addition to her two books, Albert’s work has also appeared in journals and anthologies including Tin House, Nextbook, Lilith, Post Road, Washington Square, Body Outlaws, The Modern Jewish Girl’s Guide to Guilt and How to Spell Chanukah. She is a founding editor of Jewcy and an adjunct creative writing professor at Columbia University—all this and she’s barely 30!

Just as I finished her short story collection, through a stroke of luck and good timing I discovered that Albert would be visiting Chicago in May. Jumping at the opportunity to pick her brain, in a recent phone interview I questioned Albert about everything from her aversion to Jewish institutions to the challenges of writing a fictional account of death to her involvement with the founding of Jewcy:

Stefanie Pervos: How would you describe your style of writing?
Elisa Albert: I don’t know that fiction writers can accurately describe themselves. I feel like I’m kind of a little bit of a blank-slate and other people kind of project onto me and anything that somebody wants to take away form my work can be true or wrong. I don’t write with an agenda in mind and I think in fiction you’re freer to let the chips fall where they may.

When did you know you would become a writer?
I was a really big reader growing up and books were always kind of my favorite thing. I didn’t have the temerity to think that I could be a writer at any point, I just really loved reading. When I got to college I sort of lucked [my way] in to a really great creative writing program. I went to Brandies and there were some really wonderful writers teaching there, so it was kind of a happy accident.

How would you describe your Jewish background and your Jewish identity today?
I grew up in a Reform/Conservative house. My parents were pretty secular until at a certain point they became more religious—my mom especially. I went to Jewish day school and Jewish summer camp and I went to Hebrew school all the way through the 12th grade, so I was pretty steeped in Conservative Jewish identity growing up. Today, I would say I’m kind of struggling to find ways to reconcile that identity with my intellectual social identity, which is not one that I would call Jewish really. I think I’m sort of incidentally Jewish at this point in my life, but I expect that to evolve—I think its something that keeps evolving if you’re engaged with it.

I’ve heard you say that you think labeling authors as Jewish writers, or their work as Jewish fiction, is kind of stupid—more just a statement of fact. Are you adverse to this label?
I’m Jewish and I’m writer, so I’m therefore a Jewish writer, but most of the time when I am called a quote-on-quote “Jewish writer” it seems to be kind of in the spirit of an easy categorization or a dismissiveness—it’s a way to engage on a more superficial level with what is actually happening in my fiction. And so, that’s sort of where I bristle against it and I think it’s lacking.

You have such a strong sense of voice as a writer, like you can read your work and just know, that’s so Elisa Albert—How did you find that voice?
I think it’s something that’s just kind of there—voice is one of those things that people struggle with—it’s not something that can be taught or learned. I try not to think about it too much when I’m writing and hope that it is there.

Though you say your fiction is not autobiographical, how much of you is reflected in your writing?
Whatever I’m writing about, I have to be able to put myself in that mind frame. I’m always there, because I’m the only one who can conjure up the things I’m conjuring up. So, in that way it all comes from me.

Basically from the first page of The Book of Dahlia you know the main character is going to die. Did you have any trepidation about tackling death and cancer so directly?
I think we all have sort of the right to tackle whatever we want in our creative endeavors. Cancer is pretty universal. If we haven’t personally struggled with it, most of us have some of it in our family somewhere, so I think we all have the right to think about it. And ditto [with] death. We’re all going to die, so it belongs to all of us that subject. If I was emboldened a little bit, it may have been because my older brother died of cancer, so I felt like, okay, no one can suggest that I don’t have the right to tackle this subject because it’s mine, in some fundamental way. I think that’s true most of the time. It just kind of takes that chutzpah to claim it.

How did you manage to make a book about death, funny?
I think we die the way we live a lot and it didn’t ring true to me to have someone who was really cynical and kind of messed up and really troubled and angry to suddenly do a 180 and become super nice and accepting and sweet and likeable. So if we accept that this character was already pretty fucked up, then it just made perfect sense to me that in dying she would confront that in a really fucked up way. You know from the outset that she’s dying, so for me the interesting part of writing it was in just exploring how and why—what does it look like to go down this road, what does the process of her death look like.

How was it for you to write Dahlia?
It was hard. It was kind of traumatic in a lot of ways. It was a lot of months putting myself in that headspace and being with her, having her with me all the time. And I think that’s part of where the humor comes in, because I wouldn’t have been able to stand her or the book if in the process of writing it if I hadn’t been able to entertain myself with some of the humor. They say that you write the book that you want to read that doesn’t exist, and that certainly [was] what my experience was like with this, and you have to entertain yourself as your writing.

Did you write this book in honor of your brother?
The book is dedicated to my brother, so in a lot of ways it’s for him. I wrote it with him in mind a lot. He was 29 when he died—I was 19—so I wasn’t totally present in an adult way for his illness. As I started to approach the age that he was when he died, I started to understand more about what that actually means to die at 29—to have your life up to that point be it. A lot of that went into Dahlia. My brother was nothing like Dahlia, he was kind of her opposite, which is probably another factor in why she is who she is.

What do you want readers to take away from Dahlia?
I guess it would be that if we limit our empathy to people who are really easy to like then our empathy is not really worth anything.

On the back cover of, How This Night is Different, it says your collection “boldly illuminates an original cross section of disaffected young Jews.” Why is it that your writing has focused on this group? What is it that you’re saying about and to disaffected young Jews?
It’s fiction, so it’s distinct from non-fiction in that its message is totally subjective and it’s not crafted in the way that I’m trying to say something. There are themes that occur and I can see that in my work, but it’s not something that I have in mind when I’m sitting down to write. So, I can’t speak so well to that kind of thing. It’s like an organic evolution.

It also seems from your writing that you’re not the biggest fan of institutionalized Judaism—Why is that and did that influence your involvement in the founding of Jewcy?
I got involved with Jewcy after having lunch with Tahl Raz who is the editor-in-chief. He had read my stories and I guess he found the sensibility in the stories about Judaism and about institutional Judaism to be what he wanted for the tone of Jewcy. It was a nice meeting of the minds. I was blogging a little bit and editing, so it wasn’t the same as what I was doing with stories, but it was a great outlet for me to vent my dissatisfaction with a lot of the institutional Judaism that I’d grown up with and that I saw around and that sort of turned me off from being too observant myself. So it was a really good marriage, I think.

If you too find yourself wanting to know more about Elisa Albert, come hear her speak on a  panel about American Jews detachment from Israel  this Sunday afternoon at the Spertus Institute of Jewish Studies in Chicago, or attend a  book signing and discussion of The Book of Dahlia  this Monday evening. at the  Space  in Evanston.

Dear readers,

We’re sure you’ve noticed by now that things look a little different around here. The Oy! Team has been working tirelessly to bring you a new, improved Oy! The team has expanded to include over 20 bloggers who will be writing about everything from fashion to sports to the Russian and LGBT Jewish communities in Chicago—starting today, there’ll be a little something for everyone at Oy! We’ll be updating the site daily, and sending all of you weekly messages alerting you to the most interesting posts from the week. So we invite you to look around, join the conversation by commenting on our posts and come back often!

See yourself in the NEW Oy!Chicago,
The Oy! Team

Here are some of the photos from the 38th Annual Israel Solidarity Day celebrations which took place at seven locations throughout the city on Sunday, May 3. The events highlighted Chicago’s support for Israel and its citizens and celebrated the nation’s 61st anniversary. Area-wide, some 9,000 people joined the festivities, which included entertainment, food, and Walks suitable for all ages.
Photo credits: Bob Kusel, Steve Donisch and Lindsey Bissett

From left: Lehner, Svetcov, and Bazer, creators of the new children’s book, ‘Now Hiring: White House Dog’

The moment President Obama clinched the election, he made that famous pledge to his two daughters—as well as to billions around the world—to get a puppy for his family’s new home.

Everyone, especially Malia and Sasha, anticipated the puppy’s arrival for months—and finally, this spring, the newest member of the White House, Bo, joined the first family.

The promise of the new dog sparked an idea in San Francisco Jewish literary agent and Northwestern alum Danielle Svetcov. “When Obama was elected and the puppy-adoption drama began, I thought that this was a drama begging for a picture book adaptation.” She called up her two Chicago pals, fellow Jewish Northwestern University alums—Gina Bazer and Renanah Lehner—and invited them to collaborate on a children’s book about the White House dog search.

Six months later, the dream of the election—and the book—is a reality. The new children’s book Now Hiring: White House Dog (Walker Books for Young Readers, a division of Bloomsbury Publishing USA; $16.99), written by Bazer and Lehner and illustrated by Andrew Day, is loosely based on the Obama family, classified by Lehner as “historical fiction” for kids. In the story, two young sisters living in the White House audition pooches for the role of top dog. The sisters are inundated with applications for the job, from prancing poodles to shaggy dogs and racing greyhounds. The tryouts coincide with an elegant White House dinner and antics ensue. Told with humor and rhyme, the story emphasizes the importance of substance over style.

The idea for the book resonated with the three friends as mothers to young children, ranging in age from 10 months to three and a half. They thought the puppy search offered a way to introduce the presidency and the new first family to their children without getting too political. “It’s a great way to discuss politics with your children,” says Lehner, a Chicago clinical psychologist. “This is the White House, this is where President Obama lives, and he has two little girls just like the two little girls in the book.”

They tested the books out on their own children. Lehner’s three and a half-year-old-daughter, Hannah, couldn’t get enough. She wanted it read to her at every meal and “on the potty” too. But Saul, Bazer’s son of the same age, isn’t quite as keen yet on the book. ‘Mommy, I don’t like books, remember?’ he would tell her.

Overall, despite Saul’s protests, children in any home, White House or not, can relate to the excitement of getting a dog. “There’s something so quintessential about a father saying we’re going to move, but we’re going to get a dog. Kids don’t really care about politics, but the idea that the dog is coming—children can really get behind that platform,” says Lehner.

In tackling a topic as timely as the dog search, Bazer, Lehner, and Svetcov had no time to waste. “There’s a big market for books spun out of newspaper headlines, but you have to write them very quickly to capitalize,” says Svetcov. If they were to release the book in time to coincide with the arrival of the real White House dog, they needed to finish the book in record time. Illustrator, Day, had only one month to illustrate the book, rather than the many months it typically takes to illustrate a project. Luckily, thought the women, much of the work fell over the Christmas holiday—which was no big deal considering they’re Jewish. “We had nothing else going on in our lives,” jokes Bazer, of Oak Park, who is also an editor for Chicago Home & Garden magazine. They spent many nights on conference calls with one another tinkering with the manuscript, while their three patient husbands took care of their small children.

Back when they themselves were kids, Bazer and Lehner, both Minneapolis natives, attended Hebrew school together. Now, decades later, collaborating on a children’s book has made life come full circle for them. “We would never have imagined when we were kids that we would some day write a children’s book together about a presidential family,” says Bazer. “It’s kind of odd—you never can imagine what’s going to happen.”

The book reminds the writers of the power of children’s literature. “Just as you remember really good teachers in your life, you remember really good books,” says Bazer. “There’s something really exciting about trying to capture a child’s imagination. If you can do that, you feel that you’ve done something great.”

“Now Hiring: White House Dog” will be part of a dog-themed children’s reading on Wed., May 13, at 10:30 am at 57th Street Books in Hyde Park, where President Obama and his family frequent when they are in Chicago. The event is for children of all ages. For more information, call the bookstore at (773) 684-1300.

I think we all have moments when excitement hits us so hard that we’re rendered speechless, and we can’t synthesize any of the thoughts and feelings running through our heads into coherent responses.

For me, Birthright Israel was precisely one of those experiences. I got home from my 10 days in Israel on Christmas 2007, and was immediately peppered over and over again with the same question: “what was it like?”

I had no answer. I could talk about how pretty Israel is, or show people pictures I took high atop Masada or watching a sunset in Tzfat, but I couldn’t explain what those experiences meant to me. The trip triggered too many new thoughts for me about what it means to be Jewish today and how I fit or don’t fit into a Jewish community.

I still get asked now and again what I thought of my trip, or how it made me feel, and I still cringe at the request. But thankfully, someone else – or 16 someone elses – have answered the question for me. I’m talking about the cast of Birthright Israel NEXT’s  Monologues .



Written by Birthright alumni living in New York and directed by HBO’s Def Poetry Jam alumna Vanessa Hidary (The Hebrew Mamita), Monologues is an evening of solo performances of monologues, spoken word and hip-hop exploring Jewish identity – all inspired by cast members’ Birthright experiences.

During a series of group writing workshops and one-on-one rehearsals with director Vanessa Hidary, the cast wrote their own scripts, and over time the project evolved from a simple expression of what the Birthright experience meant to them, to how that experience has shaped their Jewish identity from that point forward.

The diverse cast closely mirrors the diverse participants of Birthright Israel trips: just under half of the cast members come from interfaith families. Some had very little religious connection to Israel before the trip and are now becoming more observant. One second, Valerie can be performing her piece and struggling to understand why a woman would choose to live a religious lifestyle; and the next, Alison is explaining why she decided to become frum after her Birthright experience. Seth admits he feels more comfortable with the phrase “Google that shit” than the  V’ahavta , and Lindsay opens up about a previous suicide attempt and how her first trip to the Western Wall and hearing from a Holocaust survivor affected her.



Though it is called Monologues, the name does not do the show justice; rather than being an individual expression of thoughts and feelings, the show tries to initiate dialogue and discussion amongst cast members and the wider community. At turns funny and bittersweet, there is no question that each piece is immensely personal and at the same time highly relatable. The cast discusses issues of identity that are not unique to young Jewish adults, but that resonate with any young person struggling to find their place both in the world they were born into and the world they see evolving around them.

Monologues premiered in New York City in November 2007, and after performances in Philadelphia, New Orleans and Sarasota, is coming to Chicago this Thursday, May 7, 2009 for a show at the Chicago Center for the Performing Arts (followed by an after party with the cast and crew at Citizen).

Monologues will run one night only in Chicago on Thursday, May 7, 2009, at the Cabaret Theater at The Chicago Center for the Performing Arts, 777 North Green Street. Doors open at 7pm, and the show starts at 7:30pm. Tickets can be purchased in advance for $10  here , or are available at the door for $15. For more information email  chicago@birthrightisrael.com . Previews of Monologues performances can be found on the  Birthright Israel NEXT Web site .

Let’s face it—Jewish mothers can sometimes be a royal pain in the ass. But despite their neurotic, overprotective, passive aggressive tendencies, they are also the most loving, supportive and accomplished women around. So, in honor of Mother’s Day, some of us here at Oy! wanted to share our thoughts, experiences and memories about our real life Jewish moms.

If you have a Jewish mother, we know you can relate. So feel free to laugh, cry, pull out your hair, eat a tub of cookie dough ice cream or however it is you deal—we know just how you feel.


Lessons from a Jewish Mother
Yes Mom, I am listening!

By Stefanie Pervos 



Me, Mom and my sister Lonnie—three of the most beautiful, smart and talented women to ever set foot on this planet!

Throughout my life, certain lessons have been instilled in me by my mother, whether it be through her incessant and obsessive nagging (see article: Jewish Coming-of-Neuroses) or just through her living example. I spent this past weekend at home with Mom and Dad, and was inspired to pull together a list of my favorites. So, in honor of Mother’s Day, here, without further ado, are the top 10 lessons I’ve learned from my very own, very special Jewish mother:

Lesson 1: Mom is always right—about everything (this applies only to my mother, just to be clear).

Lesson 2: Give and give and give to people until you're exhausted beyond belief and never expect anything in return (although you can complain about it afterward).

Lesson 3: Don't spend beyond your means (unless there’s a great sale at Nordstrom) and be prepared for the future.

Lesson 4: Be patient, be passionate and be persistent and you'll get what you want.

Lesson 5: Never, under any circumstances, eat mayo, whipped cream, custard or anything white, really.

Lesson 6: Clean can always be cleaner and organized can always be neater. And for God's sake clean the hair out of your hairbrush!

Lesson 7: Fight through the pain (but again, feel free to bitch about it).

Lesson 8: Friends are invaluable, so love them, listen to them and never desert them—no matter how crazy they are or unappreciative they may seem.

Lesson 9: My sister and I are the most beautiful, smart and talented women to ever set foot on this planet—and don’t you ever forget that!

And last, but not least...

Lesson 10: Always, always, always, put your children first and work tirelessly (like even stay up all night worrying about something you have no control over) to ensure their every happiness and success (no matter what toll this may take on your own physical and mental health).

So, if you can't tell, I love and admire my mom, a lot—though if you ask her she'd go on and on about how I don’t appreciate how she practically bends over backwards for me and my sister (I can almost guarantee that exact quote). But I do, Mom. And the truth is, though I still have a lot to learn, we're a lot alike—and I think that's pretty awesome.

Oh, and Mom, in an effort to follow your advice about not spending beyond my means (especially after that shopping trip this weekend), this heartfelt piece will also serve as your Mother's Day gift—I love you!


What makes Mama smile 

By Jane Charney 



Me and Mama on my big day

My mama isn’t what you’d call a typical Jewish mother. She doesn’t call me every day to make sure I’m eating or to ask what I’m doing this very minute. And she asks me for the best Pesach recipes and how to braid a challah, rather than the other way around.

And yet, my mama is the best Jewish mom I could wish for. She personifies the very real – albeit also somewhat stereotypical – value of lifelong learning and the utterly un-Jewish-mother-like ability to adapt quickly.

Back in Moscow, mama had spent two years trying to get into the top teachers college. It wasn’t that her grades were not good enough or she could not show passion for the subject. It was that she was Jewish – her passport clearly said so – and Soviet universities had quotas based on ethnic origin. In the end, she was able to earn a Master’s in secondary education with an emphasis on teaching Spanish. She persevered because her love for knowledge is infinite. As a teacher, she would instruct first graders in the basics of Spanish vocabulary; help sixth graders compose essays about their summer vacations; and practice Lope de Vega lines with tenth graders. Some of her former students still contact her just to say how much her love for Spanish impacted their life path.

Mama’s life changed swiftly when we came to the United States in pursuit of opportunity. Unable to teach school-age students because of a lengthy and expensive teaching licensing process, mama switched to giving Castellano and Russian lessons to adults. Soon, she also landed a job in Spanish-language customer service at a financial services company. She’d complain about long hours hooked to an earphone listening to customers plead for extensions on bills or yell about some issue they had with the company. She persevered here too. She even found things to smile about, like the eternal questions about where she learned to speak Spanish so well and why she’s speaking with a Castellano accent rather than the Latin American tones one would expect here.

That’s the quality I admire most about my mama – her eternal optimism and faith that, eventually, everything will work out! Since moving to Las Vegas from Cincinnati, Ohio, about six months ago, mama has realized a life-long dream: a garden. She joyously told me that the almond and orange trees she planted in her new backyard were blooming in February, making me smile despite the gray Chicago skies overhead. Somehow, she finds time for a job, a hobby and the arduous task of shuttling my almost 17-year-old brother to school, theater workshops, and friends’ houses.

The ultimate multi-tasker – that’s my mama, the best Jewish mother I could ask for!


My mother’s things
In memory of my Ima, the writer, Florence Chanock Cohen
Feb. 14, 1924-Jan. 19, 2003 

By Aaron B. Cohen (originally written March 10, 2003)



Sorting through my mother's things
seven weeks after her death
my father, sister, and I approached the task
with trepidation

What of her scent might linger?
and might her spirit hover
amidst shoes, clothes, and jewelry?

She cloaked her life in airs and moods
words, and beautiful clothes
Her world became what she imagined it to be
This was her stage, these were her props
we were her supporting cast

How sad would we be
looking, sorting, sifting?
A pile for charity
a pile to keep
a pile for the trash

I took pair after pair of shoes
from a rack in a recess of the closet
shoes she hadn't worn in decades
comfortable shoes, stylish shoes
which bore the scuffs of an active life

Her mind was so active, so fertile
I had forgotten that she used to walk
was even known to hike
though better yet a cup of coffee
a cigarette
a conversation long into evening
days in front of the typewriter
weaving and spinning tales
wise words carved
with the sharp edge of her emotion

How diminished she became
and how she railed against that
Her mind overwhelmed her body
the vessel of her soul
clothed in colored cloaks
knits and weaves
yarns and threads
tales intricate in design
dyed tapestries of histories
lived and perceived
handed down
outfitting us
with fantasies
world views
that sometimes fit
sometimes not
sometimes made us crazy
and sometimes had us
in stitches

Her soul perhaps has flown away
it was not attached as all that
content to leave limp blouses
hanging mute
folded slacks long unworn
old shoes, soles forlorn
and we who loved her
sorting through her clothes
gently putting them to rest


My Quintessential Jewish Mother:
Why make just brisket?

By Cheryl Jacobs 



My mom and I touring a vineyard in San Diego

I’ve already written a lot about my mom (and my dad) on Oy! particularly, describing her as the family matriarch, the glue that holds our family together. But what I haven’t yet mentioned is that my mother personifies the Jewish mother mold—she is the quintessential Jewish mother. Don’t believe me? Here are a few examples so you can see what I mean.

Despite the fact that my sisters and I are between the ages of 25 and 40, my mom still insists that we all call her when we are leaving town. Leaving town can mean driving three hours from Chicago to Iowa City to visit my boyfriend’s little sister at college. Come to think of it, making the drive from Highland Park to my apartment in Wicker Park is also leaving town. (In one of my serious acts of rebellion, I refused to contact my parents for the six weeks I studied abroad in Europe during the summer between my junior and senior year of college. My mom wasn’t so much as angry as she was utterly horrified to not know where her daughter was at all times.)

Around the holidays, the Jewish mother appears in full force. My parent’s house is the hot spot for the Jewish holidays. Whether it’s Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Chanukah or Passover, the whole extended family shows up my parents’ house ready to eat their way through the holidays. No matter the size of the party, usually somewhere around 35-ish people, including my adorable, but very loud, at-times uncontrollable nieces and nephews, my mother insists on serving a seven or eight course sit-down formal dinner. My mom’s kitchen philosophy is why make just brisket, when you can also serve chicken and fish? The same attitude applies to dessert. At Passover this year, in the category of cakes, there were three of the chocolate variety, one with yellow icing, one with banana filling and one with chocolate icing. Truly, she doesn’t know how to not cook and bake for at least a 100 people.

Fortunately for my mom, she wears the “Jewish mother” crown so endearingly well, that it just makes everyone love her even more. As much as I kid her, she’s always there for all of us. Just this past weekend, my aunt and uncle had a wedding, so my mom and my sister (another Jewish-mom in training) drove down to Urbana-Champaign to attend an honors induction ceremony for my younger cousin. And as I write this my mom texted me to say she’s getting on a flight with my aunt (don’t worry she will let me know when she lands) to go pick up another cousin from college.

I truly aspire to be like my mother, one day far in the future. In the meantime, there can only be one. Happy Mother’s Day to the best mom in the world!

Have a story about your Jewish mother? Send it to us at  info@oychicago.com or in the comments section below by Friday, May 8 and we’ll post it here just in time for Mother’s Day! 

As part of our new, “See yourself in Oy!Chicago” campaign, some of the Oy! team spent time goofing off and taking pictures at the Bean last week. Check out the ad and watch for a whole new Oy! coming out May 12. And for now, enjoy some outtakes from the photo shoot!

Laughing at ourselves

Reenacting our bar and bat mitzvah days

Seeing ourselves in Oy!

Look Ma, no pit stains!

Jumping for Oy!

Pondering our Oy!ness

The finished product 

Beloved co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are probably best known for creating ice cream flavors with tastes and names like no others—favorites like Phish Food, Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia, to name a few. But what you might not know about these two longtime friends and business partners is that since co-founding Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream in 1978, they have created a company with a long history of social activism and a community-oriented approach to business to back up their sweet, rich and tasty ice cream.

The duo, who met in high school on Long Island, opened up Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice Cream Parlor in May of 1978 in a renovated gas station in Burlington, Vt. Often labeled as hippies, Cohen and Greenfield—who have no formal business background—managed to turn a storefront venture into a $300 million ice cream empire with these simple ingredients: good ice cream, unusual flavors, creative marketing strategies and an emphasis on social responsibility.

Cohen and Greenfield wrote a book in 1987 titled Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice Cream & Dessert Book. In 1988, three years after establishing the Ben & Jerry’s Foundation, they were recognized by the Council on Economic Priorities and the U.S. Small Business Administration for donating 7.5 percent of their pretax profits to nonprofit organizations through their foundation.

Oy!Chicago’s Stefanie Pervos recently caught up with Ben and Jerry about their kooky flavors, impressive sense of social responsibility and the future of their ice cream company—to quote their Cherry Garcia T-shirt “What a long, strange dip it’s been.”

Oy!Chicago: Can you give us a preview of what you’ll be talking about at the JUF Trades Industries & Professions dinner on May 13?
Ben: We’re going to talk about some humorous anecdotes of the early days of Ben & Jerry’s. Then we’ll get into a little progressive, radical, socially responsible business philosophy, and finish up with a little socially responsible federal budgeting.

And most importantly, will there be ice cream?
Ben: Yes, and that is most importantly.

Tell me briefly how Ben & Jerry’s got started—your friendship, why the partnership and why the ice cream?
Jerry: Ben and I met in junior high school. We actually went to the same temple and were in Sunday school together as well. After less than stellar college careers—I was trying to go to medical school and never got in and Ben had dropped out of college—we just decided to do something fun. And since we’d always liked to eat, we thought we’d do something with food and we chose homemade ice cream.

From the day you opened in 1978, it seems you have been able to combine business with social activism. How did this come to be?
Jerry: I think it was an idea that evolved over time. When we first started our company we were a little homemade ice cream parlor in an abandoned gas station and we didn’t plan to do anything more than that. As the business started to grow, we understood more about the role that business plays in the community and the society at large and we wanted to try to use that influence of business for something more than just making money. We don’t have any business education or background, so we wanted to run the business the way a typical personal on the street would—so that it’s a good neighbor and it helps take care of its neighbors instead of just looking out for itself. I think as we went along those feelings evolved into social activism.

How else does social activism play out?
Jerry: The company tries to get involved in certain issues. One thing the company has done, it has pledged not to use bovine growth hormones in the products and puts a message on all our packaging. The company has taken a stand about the military budget and trying to find nonviolent, nonmilitary solutions to conflicts. I think one interesting thing is that the business will be outspoken about issues that are not necessarily in its financial self-interest. Ben & Jerry’s has always felt that we should be standing up for issues for the good of society and not just to make the company more money.

What are your Jewish backgrounds, and how, if at all, do you think your Jewish background played into how you chose to create and run Ben & Jerry’s?
Ben: I think my Jewish background made me aware of people that were discriminated against, and that a big part of the issue is poverty and people not getting their fair share of social services because of discrimination. So in terms of the stands Ben & Jerry’s has taken, it has been about trying to get more fair treatment for people who have been discriminated against or exploited. I certainly identify myself as a Jew. I’m not a practicing Jew in terms of I don’t go to temple—but I do really like to eat the food and sing the songs.
Jerry: [Ben and I] both grew up in Long Island and there was a significant Jewish population in our town, and I was bar mitzvahed. [Today], I identify as being Jewish but am less practicing. Sometimes, instead of Ben & Jerry, we say we’re Cohen and Greenfield…

How did your ice cream flavors and naming method become so distinctive?
Ben: I was just trying to make flavors I really liked. That was pretty much chopping up cookies and candies and sticking them in ice cream, so that’s how Heath Bar Crunch came about; and then we had great suggestions from customers, and that’s how Cherry Garcia came about and Chubby Hubby and Chunky Monkey. Those were all flavor names and concepts that our customers thought up, although it was I, along with the help of a whole bunch of people, that actually brought those flavors into reality, gave birth to them through the birth canal—the flavor birth canal!

What are your favorite flavors?
Jerry: Heath Bar Crunch.
Ben: Cherry Garcia.

Do those change?
Ben: Not for me.
Jerry: I eat a lot of flavors.
Ben: (singing) There’s so many flavors to crave from Ben & Jerry’s…

What is your involvement on a day-to-day basis with the company today?
Jerry: Ben and I are not involved in the operations or the management of the company. We are the beloved co-founders.

So, what are you doing when you’re not being Ben and Jerry of “Ben & Jerry’s?”
Ben: I walk with my dog in the woods.
Jerry: I spend some time doing public speaking. I am the president of Ben & Jerry’s Foundation, so I’m involved with that. I’m also on the board of a nonprofit in Vermont. And I think Ben and I also interface with the company to a certain amount, even though we don’t have any responsibilities. We’re in touch with the CEO and we try to encourage the company to be more active in terms of social issues and environmental issues.

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield will speak at  JUF’s 3rd Annual Trades, Industries and Professions Suburban Dinner May 13  at Westin Chicago North Shore in Wheeling.

Cocoa Bean and Mr. Pants as kittens and all grown up - still my babies and still as darling and mischievous as ever 



Like a nice Jewish kitty, Cocoa Bean celebrates Hanukah in her own little way 

I am writing this at the risk of being brushed off as a crazy cat person. I have the best cats in the world. They are the most snuggly, loudest purring, most playful, greet-you-at-the-door-every-time-it-opens kittens. Mr. Pants and Cocoa Bean grace the wallpaper on my computer. I have a picture of them on my office bulletin board and my refrigerator at home. But they are not framed photographs. You have to draw the line somewhere.

After a weekend away, I will occasionally thank my cat sitters for taking care of my babies. Whoa. Yes, I said it. Babies. I have a friend who refuses to be called her dog’s mom. I see her point, but pets do make you feel like a parent sometimes. After all, you are totally in charge of their well being. And you have to clean up bodily fluids. And solids. And they cost money.

Is it weird to think of myself as my kittens’ parent? Are my cats Jewish if I am their Jewish mother? What about the fact that their other mommy isn’t Jewish? To answer these questions, I decided to look online for some Jewish expertise.

I googled “pets and Jewish opinion” and learned that I have already violated Jewish law by having cats that are spayed, neutered and declawed. However, this was done at the vet before we technically adopted them, but we did pay the vet for these procedures. The website says it is okay to have pets in your house that are spayed and neutered and declawed as long as you didn’t make the call. Whoops. At least my new furniture and my pocketbook are thankful for this decision.

This doesn’t really apply to my cats, but I also learned that a woman once gave her cat birth control pills. Not a violation of Jewish law, but come on. Seriously?

The second link takes me to a site about putting your pet to sleep. I’m hoping that my three-year-old kittens do not make me think about this for a long, long time. According to the rabbi on this site, it is okay to put your pets to sleep if there is no chance of recovery and they are suffering. When my childhood cat passed away from kidney failure when I was eleven, we buried her in the woods by my grandma’s house the next morning bright and early before school. We said Kaddish. I cried at school that day.

The third site brings me to an online store for Jewish dog and cat accessories. My kittens, clearly deprived, have no accessories and don’t even know that catnip dreidels and pearl collars with Hebrew charms exist. And so they will remain. They are selective just like their mama. Cocoa Bean only likes one particular kind of mouse toy and Mr. Pants is only smitten for the colorful beaded necklaces from the gay pride parade. This reminds me, I need to stock up on those next June.



Raar! Mr. Pants celebrates the successful hunt of his favorite shiny beads 

So what have I learned from my extremely limited research session? That the top three sites when googling “pets and Jewish opinion,” do not tell me whether or not it is weird to refer to your pets as your babies, nor do they tell me whether or not my kittens are Jewish. Does no one else ponder these questions? Perhaps I am a crazy cat lady.

Even if no one is posting about it, I bet there are 10 opinions on this for every 9 Jews in the room, or however that saying goes. At least for me, I have both opinions. I’ll just keep saying “thanks for taking care of my babies” and feeling a little unsettled about it, at least until I have my own human babies. Then it might actually be weird.



The snuggling siblings after a hard day of chasing toy mice and each other 

By the way, the top three sites that come up when googling “Jewish opinion on calling pets your babies” cover the random topics of: pet names for your girlfriend or boyfriend, Christians performing religious circumcisions, and a mom and baby group meeting in Massachusetts. Maybe the Internet isn’t always the best source for answering the tough questions in life.

Picture taken from the set of Public Enemies starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale. My dad appears on the far right. 

Witless Protection isn’t my kind of movie. Normally, I’d have skipped it all together, but I went to see it opening weekend. It‘s the story of a small town bungling sheriff who mistakenly thinks he’s witnessing a kidnapping. The “kidnappers” are FBI agents assigned to escort a woman to court to testify against a big corporation, but later turn out to be on the “take.” They’re working for the bad guy corporate executives and our clumsy sheriff ends up a hero. It stars Larry the Cable Guy as the sheriff, Jenny McCarthy as his girl friend, and…Skip Jacobs, a.k.a. my dad, as featured extra #12. He’s a movie star…well, sort of.

Following my mom’s cancer diagnosis, my dad decided it was time to retire. The two of them would travel, relax and enjoy life together without the stress of work. This arrangement lasted a whole year. My mom recovered and went back to work. And my dad went to his first movie audition for The Express.

Fifteen movies, four TV shows and a couple commercials later, he has a thriving second career in the movie and TV business. He’s filmed in movies starring Angela Bassett, Angelina Jolie, Christian Bale, Dennis Quaid, Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Patrick Swayze, and Tyler Perry—to name a few Hollywood folks. He did a commercial with Lou Pinella for Aquefina at Wrigley Field. And last year, he met Barack Obama while filming a scene for the movie “The Unborn” at K.A.M. Isaiah Temple in Hyde Park. (President Obama visited the set directly across the street from his Chicago home.) He even has three casting agents.

All of this success has gone straight to his head.

Me: “Hey Dad, I am going to write a story about your work as a movie extra for Oy!, what do you think?”

Dad: “Well, are you going to pay me?”

Me: “Umm, no.

Dad: “You can’t write it then.”

Me: “Dad, come on.”

Dad: “Ok, well only if you buy me dinner at a restaurant of my choice with my manager, my publicist, my agent, my lawyer and my accountant. You have to take me and my people out.”

Me: “Or you can just give me one or two stories about being an extra…wait-a-minute, I thought I was your publicist? Dad, can you just talk about being on the set of The Dark Knight. Give me a little scoop, so I can write this story. What was it like?”

Dad: “Well, it was a huge production. A lot of fun, but very time consuming—they shot scenes over and over again and we had to stand in place for hours on end. There were over 400 extras in my particular scene—the memorial for the police commissioner. We were under strict orders not to approach or speak to any of the Hollywood actors. But that didn’t stop Heath Ledger.. He was very nice, very warm, such an affable guy…he talked with a whole group of us and he was amazing to watch perform.

There were two wrap parties for The Dark Knight, one for the principle actors and one for the crew and some of the featured extras. Heath showed up to both parties and not only that, he took some of the crew out for drinks afterwards.

This interview will now cost you a thousand dollars. I’ll have my people send you my bill.”

So, he has a bit of an ego, but I also enjoy some of the perks of having a father in show business. I’m his future date to any premiere parties he might get invited to and I’m waiting for that elusive invitation to the Oscars. I think secretly my dad enjoys dressing up in costume, getting ridiculous hair cuts and even sitting in the make up chair. He’s an actor now who takes his craft seriously. Plus, he’s made a lot of new friends and eaten a lot of well-catered craft food.



My dad and I attending a Cubs game on a day off

But believe it or not, stardom also has its downsides. My dad can be on a film set sometimes up to seven days a week. He’s missed birthday parties and even a recent holiday celebration. It’s a lot of long hours and he never knows what he’ll be asked to do (he once turned down a nude scene) or where he’ll be. He’s filmed in airports, temples, bars and even inside a jail full of convicted felons.

A few months ago I called him on his cell phone while he was filming for The Beast. My dog and my best friend Lisa had joined him as extras on set and I wanted to check in to see how they were holding up. Surprisingly, my dad answered his phone. So, I began to ask him about the filming figuring he was on a break. Then I heard someone in the background yell “Cut! Get him off the phone…What does he think he is doing?” And click! I was disconnected. Yep, that’s my dad. He answered his phone while shooting the middle of a scene—typical movie star behavior.

Ignore the shoes; focus on the ‘guts’

When Janice Lieberman was single and dating, she put a lot of stock in what kind of shoes her potential suitor was wearing.

As the Consumer Smarts correspondent for NBC’s “Today Show” and former host of the consumer affairs show “Steals and Deals” on CNBC, Lieberman had been living an exciting life with a successful career. Yet, she was missing a loving husband to share it all with, which made the rest of her life seem a little less fabulous. “I was single for way too long and I was going nowhere with my dating life,” she said. “I had the perfect job and the perfect everything, but when you come home to an empty house, the job doesn’t seem so exciting.”

After many years of dating anguish and “writing off guys for stupid reasons,” Lieberman, who is Jewish and lives in New Jersey, decided that footwear doesn’t matter in a mate and neither do many of the other attributes on her previous “shopping list” for a husband. What counts, she says, is the content of his character.

So she altered her list to consider the fundamentals that really matter in a partner—the “good guts,” as she calls them—like how good a friend he is, how he treats his mother, and how polite he is to restaurant staff.

Then, about seven years ago, she met Steve—who she says has “good guts”—in a Torah study class and, six months later, married him when she was on the wrong side of 35.

In her new book, How to Shop for a Husband: A Consumer Guide to Getting a Great Buy on a Guy (St. Martin’s Press; $22.95), coming  out this May, Lieberman couples her expertise as a consumer reporter with her personal knowledge of the dating marketplace to guide other women as they make the most important “buy” of their life—their spouse.

In the consumer guide, written with Bonnie Teller, Lieberman uses shopping principles to formulate rules that will help women choose a spouse and “close the deal.” The book provides a shopping list that women can use to hunt for their ultimate bargain and highlights potential pitfalls and the most important rules of the dating (and marriage) game.

The ‘Picky Generation’

Lieberman labels her current “shoppers” as the “Picky Generation.” People can customize the “perfect” anything—their Starbucks, their iPod playlists, and even their “Build-a-Bear” teddy bears for their kids, but it doesn’t stop there. “Our predilection for the personalized, the customized, the made-to-order, and the all-around, generally perfect has bled into our search for a soul mate,” she writes.

In researching her book, Lieberman met people who have rejected potential mates for reasons including the following: “Poor grammar,” “thinks Olive Garden is fine dining,” “had never heard of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and “didn’t know that Houston Street in Manhattan is pronounced “how-ston,” not “hue-ston.”

She advises people to be selective, but not picky in choosing a mate. People need to learn to compromise, but not to settle. “We have a million things to check off [such as in online dating] about going to the movies and taking walks on the beach, but what does that really mean?” says Lieberman. “You need to be selective about the qualities that count—the goodness in a person.”

Dating sage Charles Grodin

Back when Lieberman was single, her friend, TV personality and CNBC colleague Charles Grodin, started a campaign on his talk show to get Lieberman married.

He asked her on air what she was looking for in a husband and she rattled off a list of five descriptors: “Smart, good-looking, wealthy, athletic, and a sense of humor.” Every few weeks, he would invite Lieberman back on the show for dating updates. She went out with a lot of men, but still couldn’t meet Mr. Right.

Ironically, her future husband Steve’s father heard about Grodin’s campaign and urged Steve to call in and ask her out, but Steve refused because he worried that “she’ll think I’m a stalker.”

At the end of the failed dating campaign, Grodin suggested to Lieberman that she was searching for the wrong five things on her shopping list and suggested five more: “You want somebody who loves you, cares about your family, somebody you can trust, who is kind, and who wants children,” he explained. Grodin later told Lieberman that the most important thing to look for in a prospective spouse is a good disposition. You never know how time and circumstance will change a person, but one thing that generally stays the same is a person’s disposition, “so pick a spouse,” he says, “who is kind and pleasant.” Eventually, his advice paid off and she met Steve.



Janice Lieberman’s “shopping list” may just lead you to Mr. Right

Shopping tips for single Jewish women

Now, happily married with two sons—ages 6 and almost 1—Lieberman recommends the following shopping tips to single women:

1. Ignore the packaging. Learn how to discriminate between legitimate reasons to cross a guy off the list and those that will lead to buyer’s remorse.
2. Avoid scams and sleazy sales pitches in men.
3. Shop in the men’s department. Go to where the guys are, such as Home Depot, the Apple Store, and fly-fishing vacations.
4. Shop alone. “If there is one dress on sale and you both want it, that’s an issue,” Leiberman explains. “This applies to dating as well.”
5. Tell everyone to set you up. You never know who has a nice, single Jewish friend.
6. Finally, alterations are fine. “You don’t want to go into a relationship and need someone to change completely,” says Lieberman. “But a few minor alterations are OK, just like that classic little black dress. If it needs a hem, that’s fine, but if it needs major re-altering, leave it on the shelf.”

Oy!Chicago (www.oychicago.com) is looking for an enthusiastic summer intern to work on a weekly blog/online magazine.

You won't get paid, but you will be an integral part of the editorial process, getting to sit in on planning meetings, research story ideas, engage in media monitoring and blog posting and occasionally write your own bylined articles.  You'll also be expected to help out with advertising efforts, event planning, proofreading, editing and other tasks as determined by the editors.

If you're interested in Chicago's young Jewish community, looking for a career in journalism and want to work in a creative environment, this might be the internship for you.

This is a part-time position—start and end dates are flexible. You will be expected to work onsite in our Loop office 15 to 20 hours a week on days to be determined once you're selected for the role. If your school will give you credit for your work with us, let us know.

Please send a note describing why you'd make a great Oy! intern, your resume and two writing samples (unpublished work is acceptable) to info@oychicago.com no later than May 15.

Thanks for your interest and we look forward to hearing from you!
Stefanie Pervos
Editor, Oy!Chicago
info@oychicago.com
(312) 357-4891

Stacey takes a break from sharing recipes to share her thoughts on Passover

Some of you may be wondering what I’m doing here in Living Jewishly. After all, I’m the self-proclaimed Food Jew, and this the Passover edition, and why the heck aren’t I over in NOSH where I belong, giving you sage advice on the perfect charoset or moderating the age-old floaters vs. sinkers Matzo Ball debate? I joke around about being Jew-ish, think that bacon should be its own food group, and openly admit that not only have I never been to Israel, it falls way down on my list of places I want to visit, after Morocco, Spain, Ireland and China, past Portugal and South Africa, even beyond places I want to go to for a second time like Italy. I’m reasonably certain I’ll get there, and I even genuinely believe I’ll be moved and transformed by the experience, its just, well, I sort of want to see Prague first.

But despite my cheek on the general subject of my Judaism, and despite the fact that I do (of course) have killer recipes for charoset and matzo kugel, I specifically asked the editors for a brief detour from the culinary aspect of our culture, and share my thoughts on Passover.

Passover has always been my favorite of the holidays. And not just because I got schickered on Manischiewitz wine when I was four. On first blush, you’d assume that it is because of the combination of food and ritual. I’m a sucker for food and ritual. When I was little, my two favorite meals to eat out were Geja’s Fondue and Ron of Japan Japanese steakhouse. Whether it was cooking my own meal in tiny cauldrons on long forks to the soundtrack of classical guitar in a basement grotto, or watching quick and skilled knife work as shrimp tails flew through the air, there was something utterly delightful about those meals. Entertainment, inclusion, the comforting progression that never alters in any meaningful sense, this was heady stuff. Seductive.  So no wonder that the Seder, which isn’t just about eating, or just about praying, but is about using food as part and parcel of that prayer, is so appealing to that same part of me. Frankly, all it lacks is the guy juggling the salt shaker and making the onion volcano.

When I look at my life, the path I have taken in my career, the Passover Seder is essentially the culmination of everything I am passionate about. I am an educator, and the Seder is about teaching. I spent nearly a dozen years working in professional theater, and the Seder has wonderful theatrical moments, especially the “will he or won’t he” ta-da moment of opening the door for the possible entrance of Elijah. I’m a writer and storyteller, and the entire service is about telling an amazing story. I’m devoted to family and friends, and the Seder is about gathering those people around you. I try to live a life that embraces diversity, and there is no greater mitzvah at a Seder than the presence of Gentiles, the sharing of our culture. And, yes, I’m a foodie who loves to entertain, so any excuse to get into the kitchen and create a great meal is a pleasure and a privilege.

My dad is on the Board of Jewish Child and Family Services, a branch of Federation, and a couple of years ago they went through a strategic planning process, during which they attempted to identify a set of Core Jewish Values which would help drive the work of the agency, and the direction for the future. When he shared their findings with me, I was surprised by how moved I was by the content of what they came up with. How connected I felt to the way ancient Jewish teachings, of which I have never been a student, explore the way we ought to be in the world. I realized, as I absorbed the document he sent me, that ultimately what they chose to identify as core Jewish values, are simply a set of values that should be at the core of any person. That what they describe, while beautifully supported by Jewish writings and history, are the basic values I hold dear, the ideals that I hope are infused in the way I live my life, and are values that would find equal support in the writings and teachings of other religions and cultures. That in their specificity, we find universality.  That in looking into what it means to be a Jew, we find what it means to be human, and instead of underlining our differentness, we illuminate our parity.

One of the things I have always loved about the Seder, what I love in fact generally about being Jewish, is the room to grow and expand and include. I have heard that in the mid-1980s, at a conference, the topic of women Rabbi’s was brought before a panel, and an elderly male Rabbi announced to the assembly that a woman had as much place on the Bimah as an orange has on the Seder plate. From that moment on, my family, like thousands around the world, have put an orange on our Seder plate, and have incorporated the story into our explanation of the sacred items it holds. We have added Miriam’s Cup, a glass cup filled with water, to remind us of the second side to the story we tell.

Sometimes, as a writer, you have to go seek the story; you have to go looking for the words. Sometimes, if you are lucky, the material comes to you when you least expect it. If you had told me a few years ago that I would ever write something specifically for inclusion in any religious ritual, I’d have thought you were nuts. This is ME, after all. But I know when inspiration strikes; you have to go with it. When I read the Core Jewish Values piece my dad sent me, it immediately called to me to be part of the Seder. By the time I read it through the second time, I was already shaping it in my mind. And within a half an hour I sent it to my family, asking for their thoughts, and if they would feel comfortable incorporating it into our Seder. We did, and I was amazed once again at how seamlessly something so new fit in with something so ancient. I shared it with a few friends, who reported that they too had used it in their services with positive response.

As we all get ready to celebrate Passover, however we each choose, I want to share with you all the piece which is now a part of my celebration. I hope that if it resonates with you, in part or in whole, that you will feel free to use it however you like. That if you find value in it, you will send it to your friends and family. (If you don’t want to copy and paste, click here for a downloadable document.) I hope that it may inspire you to create something for your own Seder, to continue to mold and shape your celebrations so that they are an accurate depiction of your own personal Jewishness. Or Jew-ishness. It is enormously gratifying to feel that no matter how secular I may choose to be, however far I get from traditional religiosity, there is room for the way I choose to practice, and I always feel genuinely embraced by my own culture.

I wish you all a happy Passover, and I promise, next time RECIPES! (And if you are having a true matzo ball crisis, shoot me a note, I’m happy to help…)

Linda thanks Martha Stewart for making this Passover a little bit sweeter 

I must begin with a confession: Like a moth to a flame, I am drawn to All Things Goyish. I have an unnatural affection for English country gardens, high tea and Shakespeare. I shop at Talbot’s. I love the mansions in Lake Forest. And I subscribe to Martha Stewart Living magazine.

My husband, who hails from gritty South Shore, finds my secret passion hilarious, and whoops aloud as he pages through the monthly publication. For every luscious new cake recipe I discover, he zeroes in on a more esoteric tidbit. His favorite is Martha’s palette of house paints based on the hues of bird’s’ eggs, sold by the quart.

So imagine my glee when I settled in with April issue and found feature after feature on the not very WASP-friendly holiday of Passover.

Watch Martha make Kosher s’mores with matzah!

Let Martha show you how to personalize individual wine carafes to create enchanting place cards for your Seder table!

Try Martha’s recipe for Sephardic chicken stuffed with charoset!

I realize that, in their own way, some Christians observe Passover, too, seeking to honor their Jewish roots or commemorate Jesus’ Last Supper. Not Martha. It was clear that this was, quite simply, a Jewish holiday. And that it was a Good Thing.

What’s next? A Sukkah at the Winnetka Women’s Club?

It’s not just Martha. Everywhere I look, I see reminders of the upcoming holiday, a holiday that commemorates the quintessential Jewish experience. There are Passover greeting cards in mainstream drug stores, Passover foods in mainstream supermarkets and Passover aprons in mainstream department stores.

The cynic in me is wary of the commercialization of this sacred festival. I know that new products could represent nothing more than savvy retailers looking to break into a lucrative new market. Yet a friend told me that the Red Sox home opener was re-scheduled to avoid a conflict with the First Seder. And I have heard that President Obama and his family will be attending a Seder at the home of the First Lady’s cousin...who happens to be a Chicago rabbi.

So I am going to savor it, and consider this Elijah’s Cup to be half-full rather than half-empty. Thanks, Martha, for the recipes. Liberation has never been sweeter.

Shira and her sister, Orit, tasting sweet blossoms from a bush on her grandparent’s kibbutz

Shira Vardi lived in Israel until she was ten, grew the rest of the way up in Madison, moved to New York City to take part in Avodah: The Jewish Service Corps, and is now finally a Chicagoan looking forward to summer festivals and fun times by the lake.

Avodah was just like the Real World (well, sort of), living with 7 roommates while learning about Jewish history, culture, religion and learning to create effective social change. Now Shira gives back to her community in many meaningful ways. Studying to be a Feldenkrais practioner, Shira helps others to increase ease and range of motion, improve flexibility and coordination, and rediscover capacity for graceful, efficient movement. She also offers support and counseling to seniors every day as a social worker.

Missing the Israeli weather, food and her family, Shira recently looked into the idea of making Aliyah and was quickly reminded of the forward Israeli culture. Someday, Shira may call Israel home, but for now she is loving Chicago, running along the paths by her work that remind her of Madison and discovering new parts of a vibrant city without the constant buzz of the big apple.

Wherever she goes, she finds the best places to dance – Salsa, Swing, Belly, Charleston, Israeli, African, you name it, and you’ll find Shira and her look alike sister, Orit, dancing up a storm. So if you need a dancing partner, want to explore new places, or love helping others, Shira Vardi is a Jew you should know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
aridanielshapiro.com Great science-based radio stories by my friend Ari that occasionally get aired on NPR!

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
I would road trip through the Northwest and Southwest U.S., do a 10 day hike to Machu Pichu, spend a week of nostalgia in Paris, attend a West African Dance intensive in Guinea, experience Ashrams and chaos in India, go mountain hiking in Thailand, spend family time in Israel, and do it all accompanied by lucky friends!

3. If a movie were made about your life, who would play you?
My sister, because she looks just like me.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
I would invite Mia Segal, an 80 year-old Feldenkrais teacher living in Israel with a twinkle in her spirit, and my maternal grandmother, who died when I was four. We'd have a picnic lunch by the lake and eat Shwarma.

5. What's your idea of the perfect day?
The perfect day would be biking with my sister and friends to the lake and reading, playing Frisbee, and grilling on a sunny, summer day. Then we would happen upon a drum circle where we dance our hearts out. Can you tell I'm ready for summer?

6. What do you love about what you do?
I love my co-workers and the in-synch feeling when a client feels heard. I work for the North Shore Senior Center and do case management, supportive counseling, and elder abuse investigations for seniors living in the northern suburbs. My service area includes Maine Township and Deerfield, so I am out and about a lot.  I find the work most satisfying when I am able to help seniors and families come to terms with changes in their needs and find solutions that are safe and satisfying. This often involves providing supportive counseling to the senior, working as a team with doctors and other professionals, offering support and education to the family, and helping to provide concrete services.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
I’d do private practice therapy, Feldenkrais, and some sort of teaching. Feldenkrais is a method that uses verbal instructions, imagery, and gentle touch to teach people to move with more freedom and ease. Students learn by noticing differences in ease as they do different combinations of movements. I'm still training in this method, but I just started teaching classes to my co-workers, and find it really fun to set up a learning environment where people can explore their possibilities of movement. Because I am not showing people a 'correct' way to move, but rather giving instructions and having them find the movements themselves, the results are more individual and less predictable. For example, after doing a lesson exploring movement of the shoulder blades and folding of the chest, a coworker found me the next day and told me that she slept better the previous night. So, you just never know.

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
Running the Chiditarod a few weekends ago and pretending that it was a big Purim parade. Also, Israeli folk dancing at Northwestern.

Catch Altermania Tuesday, April 14 at ComedySportz on Belmont and Saturday, April 18 at Laugh Out Loud in Woodfield

“Chicago is like the mother country of improv,” says Eli Galperin, one of the founding members of Altermania, an Israeli improv group hitting town April 14 as part of the Chicago Improv Festival. The annual event, this year dubbed “One World, Many Laughs,” will feature 90 ensembles from 11 different countries.

Founded by graduates from the Nissan Nativ acting studio, Altermania (“alter” is improv in Hebrew) performs largely long-form improv. Their current show, Opening the Rabbit’s Mouth, will introduce Chicagoans to some of Altermania’s signature improv games, including creating an entire sketch about the life of one lucky audience member.

Improv plays second fiddle to stand-up comedy in Israel, and Altermania hopes to change that trend.

“There is no audience for long-form improv in Israel; it must be a short-form sketch show, with little games. It’s much more difficult to get people to an hour-long show,” says Galperin.

But he and fellow actors Roy Zadok, Muli Shulman and Ma’ayan Weinstock are up for the challenge. Galperin, Zadok and Shulman founded Altermania after performing with Habima, the National Theater of Israel. The actors were looking for something challenging that they could call their own. They picked up a few female performers, and suddenly they had their act.

The group has performed throughout Israel, and is currently housed at the Tsavta performing arts center in Tel Aviv.

The actors are undeterred by the prospect of performing in English, a challenge for any foreign actor, but a particularly formidable one for improv comedians, who must constantly think on their feet. They plan to perform twice, once in Hebrew and once in English. Two of the actors will participate in  “One World on One Stage,” in which improvisers from Canada, Germany, Japan, the Netherlands, Norway and the USA will all share the stage.

While in Chicago, the members of Altermania hope to soak up some of the rich improv history.

“We’ve never been to Chicago before – all of us want to see as many shows as possible, participate in as many jams as possible with groups from other countries and see what is going on in improv around the world,” says Galperin.

Altermania performs Tuesday, April 14, at 8pm at ComedySportz, 929 W. Belmont, and Saturday, April 18, at 9:30pm at Laugh Out Loud, 601 N. Martingale Road, Streets of Woodfield, in Schaumburg. Tickets are available at the theater box offices. The Chicago Improv Festival runs April 13-19. For more information and a complete festival line-up, please visit  www.chicagoimprovfestival.org .

Aaron Becker has a “mad crush” on the world, the mountains of Norway included

Aaron Becker digs the music, savors the wine, and makes new friends wherever he goes, whether it’s the Chabad house in Florence or the bathhouse in Konya. His resume crisscrosses the planet: ten languages studied, a 2007 Golden Apple Award for Excellence in Teaching, two Fulbright scholarships (Turkey and Morocco), educational programs in Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Russia, Egypt, and around the world we go. Growing up, Aaron’s commute to class was never far – Solomon Schechter, Niles North, Glenbrook South, University of Illinois. But he has since traveled the distance and continued to learn.

The classroom where Aaron teaches history and global studies at Evanston Township High School looks different from the rest. For one thing, there are no desks. Kick off your shoes, grab some tea, pull up a pillow and get ready to learn. Mr. Becker is the kind of teacher who simultaneously brings out your best and blows your mind.

So if you’re at home on the road with a thirst for knowledge, tea, truth, or Madeira, Aaron Becker is a Jew You Should Know.



Aaron Becker, making new friends in Saudi Arabia

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
Mostly I enjoy blogs created by cool people doing good things in places I’d like to visit. A couple examples are Burkina by Matt, which is based on this guy’s Peace Corps experience in Burkina Faso, and also photographer Alison Wright’s National Geographic-esque blog. When I want to better understand the uglier side of world events, I visit the International Crisis Group website.

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
You mean to tell me that money and time aren’t limitless? Bhutan, Nepal, Tibet – one month each. Cape Town for six months. Maybe a year wandering through Southeast Asia.

3. If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
It’s been done. Being John Malkovich was a total rip-off of the film based on the biographical novel Being Aaron Becker. Also, I should tell you that John Ritter played me in Three’s Company.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
I would have a picnic and hear a concert in Millennium Park with Thomas Jefferson and Martin Luther King. I would bring a few bottles of Madeira, and make a huge salad, a hearty stew and pecan pie for dessert. My two guests should be disguised somehow, so as not to attract too much attention. Depending on their omniscience, I’d try to bring them up to speed on world events – I’d give Dr. King a report on the Chicago Public School system and I’d give Jefferson an iPhone to fiddle around with. It’s funny – I’m more interested in their responses to the changes that have transpired since they’ve left this world than any of their stories or wisdom.

5. What's your idea of the perfect day?
Coffee on my hotel balcony overlooking the water, a short walk to language class, a stroll through the colorful crowded market and lunch in the local botanical garden. An afternoon field trip with a new friend from my adopted neighborhood – maybe to a castle or a concert or a place special only to my new friend. Late afternoon nap. Meet friends for drinks and appetizers. Then back to one of their houses to cook dinner together as we talk and listen to music. Watch the waves come in beneath the moon from the roof of my hotel.

Meeting a friendly stranger who challenges my preconceptions.

Seeing a student channel the divine.

6. What do you love about what you do?
My students are goddamn brilliant. I have a more up-to date iPod than most of my friends. I work with smart, cool people. I feel appreciated by everyone around me.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
Foreign service, flipping houses, confidence man, cheese counter employee.

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
Random walk-ins at synagogues in my shtetly neighborhood (otherwise known as Rogers Park), and Shabbat dinners with old friends. A big shout-out to the heimish crowd at Kehilat Shalom – I used to read Torah there from time to time and I miss them.

The Amazing Max Quinlan

I remember first hearing Max Quinlan’s beautiful voice when he was just a little boy, singing in Buffalo Grove community theater productions. Growing up, both of our moms were active on the Village Arts Commission, so we often found ourselves on stage or backstage together. Max, who comes from a family of musical and artistic talent—his mother and sister both have amazing voices and his father was always helping out backstage—always exuded extraordinary talent on stage, even from a very young age. So I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anyone, especially me, that Max is now starring in two productions—“Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” and “High School Musical”—at the Marriot Theatre in Lincolnshire.

Max says he initially got into theater because of his parents—his mom studied voice in college. He did his first community theater show at age four and made his professional debut not too long after in the Chicago production of “Ragtime.” He recently graduated from Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music with a B.F.A. in Musical Theater. He made his New York debut Off-Broadway with the York Theatre Company in “Grind” and after several other roles, returned home to the Chicago suburbs and the Marriot Theatre, where he recently completed runs of “The Bowery Boys” and “All Shook Up” and is now starring as Joseph in “Joseph” and Troy in “High School Musical.”

“It’s great (to be at Marriot),” Max said. “It’s such a wonderful place with a great reputation. It’s kind of nice to be back home and be where all my friends and family can see me in the shows.”

He is excited about “Joseph,” a show that is great because everyone knows and loves the story.

“It’s also a huge responsibility because people come in with huge expectations,” he said.  “I try to bring something new to it while also respecting the tradition (of the original).”

Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s “Joseph” is a “colorful” retelling of the biblical life of Joseph and his amazing abilities. The original production starred Donny Osmond as Joseph.

“To be doing something like ‘Joseph’ is great because it is a religious show and it has such a great message,” Max said. “It’s a story that is important to be told, especially to people of the Jewish faith.”

For Max, Jewish identity is also tied to music. He says his first singing experience came from going to temple and he once thought he wanted to be a cantor.

“I realized how big of an impact music is on life in general,” he said.

As Troy, the heartthrob originally played by Zac Efron in the movie “High School Musical” Max will surely grab the attention of teenage girls throughout the North Shore. The show, based on the wildly popular Disney Channel Original movie, follows Gabriella, a shy, brainy transfer student, and Troy, the hunky captain of the basketball team as they discover their secret passion for singing.

“High School Musical” is a lot of fun,” Max said. “It’s been such a huge influence on this young generation and gotten kids really excited about musicals.”

For Max, excitement about musicals came without the help of a Disney movie. He realized at a young age that you can learn a lot about life through theater.

“Musicals are not just a spectacle of sorts, they have messages behind them and lessons to learn,” he said, recalling that “Ragtime” his first professional show, taught him many lessons, including a history lesson that coincided with his seventh grade history class at the time.

“This was the first time I realized what theater was all about and what it could do for an audience,” Max said.

His advice to other aspiring young actors is to keep studying and know there is so much to learn. “I think the best advice anyone can ever give you is to follow your passion.”

After completing the runs of “Joseph” and “High School Musical” Max plans to follow his passion back to New York to revisit the theater scene there, hoping to make a home both out east and in Chicago.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat runs through May 10. The performance schedule for all shows is Wednesdays at 1 p.m. and 8 p.m., Thursdays and Fridays at 8 p.m., Saturdays at 4:30 p.m. and 8 p.m. and Sundays at 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. Ticket prices are $45 excluding tax and handling fees and a $5 discount for students and seniors is valid for Wednesday matinees and Sunday performances. The performance schedule for “High School Musical” is Sundays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 10 a.m. and Saturdays at 11 p.m. though some show times and dates may vary. Tickets for all shows are $12 To reserve tickets, call the Marriot Theatre Box Office at (847)634-0200 or visit  www.marriottheatre.com .

Traci Fein/FineMakeupArt

Every day, there is more bad news about the lousy economy—the slump, the downturn, the recession. The steep drop in retail sales reflects our new reality. But, just take a stroll to your neighborhood cosmetics counter and you may be surprised to see things are still buzzing along. This is the “lipstick indicator” in action.

Traditionally, in times of economic uncertainty, makeup sales tend to rise. Leonard Lauder, Chairman of Estee Lauder, saw lipstick sales skyrocket after 9/11. During the Great Depression cosmetic sales rose approximately 25 percent and many cosmetics companies emerged from the Depression wealthier than they had been. U.S. households were more likely to own a tube of lipstick than a jar of mustard. The Red Lipstick of the day offered women a lot of bang for their buck. When you can’t afford to buy a new dress, it’s an easy way to perk up your look, and your mood.

During World War II, makeup was seen as a vital part of the war effort; advertisers turned lipstick into a symbol of resilient femininity in the face of danger, a symbol that would boost the morale of both the women wearing the lipstick and the male soldiers who saw such attractive American females. A leading cosmetic company at that time had a “War, Women and Lipstick” campaign as an effort to boost personal morale. The Marines even used lipsticks “Montezuma Red” by Estee Lauder and Revlon’s “Certainly Red" as a part of women’s uniforms.

So, just as the American generation of women did during the Great Depression and WW II – today’s American women are creating our own “Recession Chic.” While we may not be recycling last year’s sweater for the wool to knit a new one, many women are being forced to make sacrifices.

Some of us are starting small, forgoing a visit to the salon and doing our nails at home. And the days of spending $35 on the newest mascara formula are over. We’re going back to basics. The classic Maybelline Great Lash Mascara ($5) does the job, and the pink and green tube is still found in every professional makeup artist’s kit from New York to Paris.

As in past decades, when the economy gets bad, hemlines get lower, more durable fabrics are used and lipstick gets brighter and darker. We are seeing that cycle now, as makeup and fashion move right past the pastel colored, frillier Spring collections (which were designed last year) – and the Fall 2009 Collections move decidedly toward a darker, more somber palette, black was everywhere and matte and semi-matte makeup is making a comeback. Natural nude lips are still a favorite, but Red lipstick dominated the runways. Fashion week featured heavy coats of MAC Ruffian Red and Chanel Rouge Allure Laque.

American women are not going to let this recession get their appearances down. We are strong, beautiful and resilient. Just like the Great Generation of women that preceded us, “We can do it!”

Marie (left) with the author's daughter, Jenna

At her big sister’s funeral, 6-year-old Ava searched for coins to throw in the baptismal font so she could make a wish. It was the only moment of the entire event that could pass for normal.

In the front of the church lay the body of Ava’s sister, a beautiful 17-year-old girl—a girl who only days beforehand had been full of life, promise and no small measure of piss and vinegar. One minute she was preparing to audition for college music scholarships and getting ready for her senior prom, and the next she was in a box.

It was, as her heartbroken friends said, so random.

Marie was sassy and funny and sweet and talented, and the girl could fight. She had a weak lung but the heart of a lion. I heard that even when that heart stopped, so strong was her spirit that Marie clawed her way back to life—four times over. The fifth time, death won.

If I were a betting woman, I would have bet on Marie.

At her parents’ request, Marie’s friends from jazz and choir sang at her memorial service and funeral mass. Teetering on their high heels, the ashen-faced teenagers rose to the occasion. Later that night they would kick off their shoes and their composure, but at the church they stood together like soldiers and sang like angels.

Afterwards, I held my sobbing child in my arms and yearned for the days when she only needed comfort because she’d scraped her knee.

Each of us punctuates our lives with annual holidays and occasional life cycle events, creating a personal sense of our position in time. We might calculate “He was president when I was in 8th grade,” or ask “Wasn’t that the year we went to Denver for Passover?” But there is also a parallel universe in which grown-ups measure the passing years by annual screening tests and yarzheits: “That was just before my surgery,” we say, and “This is our first Thanksgiving since Herb died.” Isn’t 16 too young to start cataloguing the passage of time in terms of loss?
It is said that teenagers are resilient, and I suppose that’s true. In the days surrounding her death, Marie’s friends created Facebook groups, videos and posters in her memory. My daughter politely asked her literature teacher for an extension on reading a book centered around a child’s life-threatening illness. The teens comforted one another, and made plans to honor Marie at their remaining choir performances. They were exceptionally kind and compassionate to the anguished high school administrators and teachers hovering over them. Gradually the students resumed their schoolwork, their car pools and their college applications. But the look in their eyes was changed, maybe forever.

Rule #1: Sometimes life sucks.

Rule #2: Mothers can’t change Rule #1.

I religiously recorded my daughter’s first tooth, first steps and first words, but I found no space in her baby book for this milestone. The hardest part of being a mom is neither the “terrible twos” nor the teen years, but this: the agony of bearing witness as my child’s heart is broken. I expected this to come when she didn’t get the role she wanted in a school play, or when a boy she liked just wanted to be “friends.” I did not expect a loss so great that it also would shatter her to the core.

When others reminisce about their first lover, first apartment or first job, I’m afraid my daughter and her friends will instead identify Marie’s death as the moment in time when their childhoods ended. Because it’s the truth.

Yisrael doing his standup thing

You don’t meet a lot of Jews named Christopher Campbell.

Well, actually, Christopher Campbell is no longer Christopher. He’s now Yisrael Campbell, but he journeyed on a long and spiritual road to arrive at his new identity.

An American-born Israeli comedian and actor, Campbell will perform for a program of the Young Leadership Division (YLD) of the Jewish United Fund of Metropolitan Chicago and the Young Adult Division (YAD) of Chicago’s Anshe Emet Synagogue, to be held at the synagogue on Saturday, March 28, at 8 p.m. following a Havdalah service.

Back in the 1960s, Campbell was born into a Philadelphia Catholic family, to an Italian mother and Irish father. As Campbell describes it, “I’m the first-born son of a manic-depressive Italian woman and a pathologically silent Irishman. That makes me wildly emotional…in a very quiet way.”

His late aunt was a nun, meaning “she was the bride of Christ,” says Campbell. “The joke is she was my aunt and Jesus was my uncle.” His mother, too, had joined a convent for a while, but eventually left both the convent and her strict adherence to the faith and started a family. Campbell and his younger sister, though baptized, were raised in an unobservant Catholic household. In fact, their mother insisted they attend public rather than parochial school.

At 16, Campbell was diagnosed with alcoholism and drug addiction, and on his quest toward recovery, he sought spiritual guidance. First, he turned to his Christian faith for answers, attending mass and confession, but yearned for an alternative spiritual path. He also gave meditation a try, but says he wasn’t cut out for a Zen life. “I got an 85-mile-per-hour speeding ticket on my way to the Zen center,” says Campbell, laughing at his own irony.

A few years after high school—clean and sober but still on his religious quest—Campbell met a Jewish friend who introduced him to Judaism, specifically the Jewish relationship between people and God. “She told me, ‘If you’re angry at God, yell at God. If you’re happy at God, laugh at God, and if you’re sad, cry,’” recalls Campbell. “I thought that was so profound—and also dangerous. Yell at God? What? Do you want to get struck by lightning? God will kill you. Read the literature. Do you know what ‘smite’ means?”

That same Jewish woman gave him Exodus, the famed novel by Leon Uris about the founding of Israel. “I read that and was so blown away by the story of this tiny little people that survived the Holocaust and went on to found the State of Israel, surrounded by enemies,” says Campbell.

After reading Exodus, he pored over Holocaust literature including books by survivors Elie Wiesel and Primo Levi, and he yearned to visit Israel. “I had this ongoing infatuation with Israel, stories of survival from the Holocaust, Jewish culture—and, of course, Jewish women. [I saw the religion] through rose-colored glasses…” he explains.

Another part of Judaism that resonated with Campbell is that on Yom Kippur, one must right their wrongs with other human beings as well as with God. As a Catholic child, Campbell says, he had felt uneasy about confessing one’s sins against another person in church without apologizing to that person first.

For the next decade, his love for all things Jewish “percolated” and Israel lived on, to him, as a “mythical” place. He figured maybe if he gave it some time, he would come to realize that Judaism wasn’t the right spiritual path for him. But instead, the opposite happened and his interest in the religion grew. While living in Los Angeles and attending drama school, Campbell spotted an advertisement in the back of an L.A. weekly for a Judaism 101 class.



Yisrael Campbell, an American-born Israeli comedian, converted from Catholicism to Judaism 15 years ago

In 1994, at the age of 31, after taking the religion class, he completed a Reform conversion to Judaism, his first of three Jewish conversions in the coming years. His first included immersing in the mikvah (ritual bath) and undergoing a hatafat dam brit (in the case of an already-circumcised Jew by choice, this symbolic “drop of the blood” ritual fulfills the requirements of the brit milah—the covenant of the circumcision).

Around that time, he met an Egyptian non-practicing Muslim woman, whom he married but soon divorced. Then, two years after his first conversion, he grew gradually more religious and made a Conservative conversion, sitting before a beit din (rabbinical court of Judaism).

Campbell then traveled to Israel for a summer, where he lived as a traditionally observant Jew, following all the laws of Judaism, including wearing a beard, black hat, and peyas (religiously uncut portion of hair behind the ears). But despite his strict observance, he longed for acceptance by the entire Jewish community. Because he hadn’t completed an Orthodox conversion, he felt that he wasn’t recognized by all Jews as a member of the tribe.

For instance, as a guest at an observant Jewish wedding, Campbell wanted to chant one of the sheva brachot (seven blessings said according to religious Jewish law at weddings), but his friend urged him to refrain because of his questionable religious status.

So Campbell chose to make a third and final conversion, this time to Orthodox Judaism, repeating a strict conversion process.

He also made aliyah and met his second wife in Israel. Married seven years, they live in a town called Baka, south of the Old City in Jerusalem, with their three children, 3-year-old twins (a son and daughter) and a younger son who will turn two in May.

After moving to Israel, Campbell started going by the name Yisrael, which he had selected as his Hebrew name for his initial conversion to Judaism. “Israelis, unlike Americans, weren’t shy about saying, ‘How can someone who looks like you be named Chris?’ They couldn’t handle it,” says Campbell.

Currently, the comedian and his family are spending the year in Manhattan, where Campbell is working on a one-man off-Broadway comedy show about the story of his life. He’s also been touring the Jewish film festival circuit with  Circumcise Me  (a riff on the title Supersize Me), the 2008 documentary about Campbell’s journey, produced by Matthew Kalman and David Blumenfeld.



Yisrael wears his sunglasses at night

In 2007, Campbell toured with the Israeli-Palestinian Comedy Tour, the first-ever Israeli Palestinian comedy tour, founded by Palestinian comedian and columnist Ray Hanania and Israeli comedian Charley Warady, both Chicagoans. Campbell and Chicago comedian Aaron Freeman, an African-American Jew by choice, joined Hanania and Warady for the tour.

Now that Campbell and his family have returned to the States for a while, his parents get to see their grandchildren often. His mother and father embrace Campbell’s new religious identity, but ask many questions, like why he doesn’t answer the phone on Shabbat and when the family is next celebrating in that “little house holiday” (Sukkot).

When Campbell was visiting his hometown recently, he bumped into a blast from the past—his Irish-Catholic high school prom date. She didn’t recognize Campbell in his peyas, beard, and hat. “‘It’s me, Chris Campbell,’” he said, jogging her memory. ‘Now I see it—do you live around here?’ his former date wondered. “I didn’t say it to her, but my answer in my head was ‘not in any conceivable way,’” says Campbell. “I don’t live here spiritually, I don’t live here physically, and I don’t look like the same person. I’m a different person.”

The cost of the March 28 show is $20 in advance and $25 at the door. This includes dessert, wine, and the program. Register online on the  YLD website . For more information, contact Ariel Zipkin at  ArielZipkin@juf.org or (312) 357-4692. Also check it out on  Oy!'s events page .

Heather will help you find your center

Rabbi Heather Altman is a well-balanced person. Through her creation, “Rav Yoga,” she has united yoga and Judaism in a manner that is authentic to both beautiful traditions--aiming to empower, renew, and connect the body, mind, and soul. She also balances life as a yoga instructor and rabbi with the realities of being a stepmom to a 7-year-old, Haley, and a mom to 9-month-old triplets: Hallel, Emunah and Noam.

“I love to use my unique combination of roles to help prepare people for big life moments,” she says. “My favorites are wedding-day yoga with the bride and/or groom, preparation for surgery, moving through divorce, and leading Brit Bat ceremonies for baby girls.” She has recently started blogging about “the things that make me smile.”

So whether you want tips for getting in touch with yourself, being calm in stressful situations, or picking a beautiful name for your new baby, Rabbi Heather Altman is a Jew you should know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
Diapers.com makes my life so much easier, despite the time when I started a family drama by posting on Facebook that I had 3 diapers left for 3 babies and was about to start with towels and duct tape. I also love to look at other triplet families’ sites and blogs; it is a relief to see other people whose days look the same as mine.

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
With limitless money I would have round-the-clock nanny coverage so I could have the freedom to leave my home in Chicago or travel elsewhere with or without my family. With limitless time I would start with a vacation in Hawaii, probably just for me and my husband, Jeff Block. At the right age, we’d take our girls to Israel for a year. I’d also like to go back to Italy and Greece, and then explore Japan, Thailand and South Africa.

3. If a movie were made about your life, who would play you?
Friends have suggested Natalie Portman and Sarah Jessica Parker, but I’d prefer to play myself if you can lock in Johnny Depp to play my husband. It would be a shame to make him shave his hair off for the role, but I’m sure he would wear it well.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
I wish I could sit with my paternal grandfather, Irving “Beansy” Altman, who we called Poppi Beansy and my husband’s maternal grandfather, Zayde Mayer Levin. My Poppi taught me a lot about people and life; and my husband speaks so lovingly of his Zayde’s influence on him. Although my favorite meal is sushi, I don’t think either of these old school men would enjoy it, so I would serve gefilte fish, matzoh ball soup, brisket and any other Ashkenazi favorites. The last time I saw Poppi Beansy alive was at the airport shortly after my ordination and a day after my first wedding. He was happy for me, but he would have just kvelled to see my career develop and to see me marry my best match, Jeff, and to meet our babies. I feel his presence and believe that he knows all about my love, my family and my work.

5. What's your idea of the perfect day?
Since I had my triplets I haven’t had a day away from them so my perfect day is a dream vacation day with sleeping in, sun and warmth, massage and sauna, a walk and yoga by the water, hours with a good book, private time with my husband, laughing with friends at night, sushi and chocolate. In a fantasy world I’d get all those things and still get some smiles and hugs from my sweet girls.

6. What do you love about what you do?
I love that my life now is all about love. My primary role is making sure that my babies are healthy, safe and happy. Caring for souls has been my work all along and now I have these three growing babies who benefit from all I have cultivated in my professional life. I love that they have taught me how to quickly sort out what is essential and what is extraneous, and how to be realistic about my commitments. I don’t waste time on situations that don’t feel 100% right. I choose the work I love and the people with whom I can be loving and generous. I love that I help people heal, that I deeply affect their souls, that I accompany souls through life, that I guide people to know and be their true selves, find their strength within and from their roots.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
I created my own ideal job when I left congregational work and I love the life I created. If I did not have the full-time job of caring for my three babies right now, I would be doing the same work that I did before – leading weekend and week-long Rav Yoga retreats, offering Spiritual Direction (group and private), and leading people through ritual and ceremony. During my first pulpit I dreamed up Netivot: a Jewish Center for Growth and Healing. I actually created Netivot while at Anshe Emet. The next step of the dream is to have an actual address, and of course lots of funding so everyone can come for yoga, meditation, Jewish learning and ritual, spiritual direction and more.

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
My favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago is to go to Anshe Emet to see my friends. Many weeks, my only social time is Shabbat afternoon Kiddush. It is quite unusual for a rabbi to stop working at a synagogue and stay there as a member. I feel so blessed that we had a smooth transition and I still get to see the congregants and friends who I love. Equally unique is that my family has had the opportunity and benefit of receiving so much hesed (loving kindness) from the staff and members of Anshe Emet while I was on bed rest and then back at home with baby triplets. No words can express the degree of gratitude I have for this much needed support. I also love the live music at KFAR events and wish I could get out more to enjoy them.

Avi and Rachel Finegold say (almost) all's kosher in sex and Judaism

So here’s something they probably don’t teach you in Hebrew school: According to Judaism, sex (of all shapes, sizes and positions) between a husband and wife is not only kosher, it’s a mitzvah!

Yes, there are some rules and regulations, but not as many as you might think. And although for most religious Jews, talking about sex in a Jewish sense is taboo, especially within the Orthodox community, Rachel Kohl Finegold and her husband, Rabbi Avi Finegold, are working to demystify sex for young Jewish brides and grooms at their Lakeview synagogue.

For the past year and a half, as educational and ritual director at Anshe Sholom B'nai Israel synagogue, a Modern Orthodox shul, Rachel has been counseling new brides about traditional topics taught in Kallah classes, like how to properly use the mikvah, the practices around menstruation and the laws of Niddah (traditionally a woman must be separated from her husband starting the first day of her menstrual cycle through her seventh “clean day”). But she is taking it one step further, bringing her husband and the groom into the sessions and looking to Jewish texts to find the answers to questions about Jewish views on sexuality.

“I’m not a sex expert,” Rachel says, “but we’ve learned the Jewish text and we’re open enough to talk to people about it.”

The Finegolds aren’t the only ones embracing this new idea of sex ed. Rachel’s inspiration came from her experience at the Drisha Institute and a workshop coordinated by Drisha, JOFA (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance) and Yeshivat Chovevei Torah titled “Demystifying Sex & Teaching Halakha: A Kallah Teacher's Workshop,” which opened her eyes to a whole new approach to talking about sex in the Orthodox community.

“The workshop had a special emphasis on sexuality which framed the way I now teach both men and women,” Rachel said.

The Sex Talk
When meeting with a new bride, Rachel spends the first few sessions on the laws of family purity, always doing a section on Judaism and sexuality.

“These women are not necessarily sexually active and have been learning what not to do and when not to do it,” she says.

Though contraception isn’t part of their main curriculum, many couples are curious about Jewish views on the subject.

“I consider this a very personal decision that a couple makes, about when they are ready to have children, and I don't offer my opinion unless it's asked for,” Rachel says. “If a couple is interested in learning, I will sometimes do an extra session just about the Jewish laws around contraception. There are many views, but ultimately there is definitely room to allow a couple to wait before having kids, if that is what they feel most comfortable with.”

She says most of the couples they meet with tend to wait a bit to have children, so she shows them the texts, explaining how Jewish law approaches contraception, specifically focusing on which modes of contraception are preferred.

For the final session with the bride and the groom, Rachel’s husband Avi joins the session to go through the Jewish sources. They usually schedule one post-wedding check-in to make sure that everything is running smoothly.

“There are important things to be said from the male perspective, from the female perspective and from hearing the two different voices,” Avi says. “By adding more people into the conversation, you end up with a large component of this demystification”

“To infuse (these sessions) with an awareness that sex is something that is beautiful, holy, fun…it normalizes it,” Rachel says. “The Talmud really is not shy, so why should we be?”

Just ask Avi and Rachel and they’ll happily point you to sources and excerpts in the Talmud that say that sex is generally OK by the Rabbis—as long as it is between a man and a women in a committed, loving relationship, of course.

Sex Laws
After examining the sources, it becomes very clear how Judaism views sexual practices. For one, sex is not purely for procreation, it is to be enjoyed. Anything, (really, anything) is allowed, as long as it is something that will bring a married couple closer together. Oh, and by the way, it is a man’s biblical duty to pleasure his wife whenever she asks—this rule does not apply the other way around…

While all of these discussions of the “rules” of sexuality focus on a consensual relationship between a man and his wife, the more liberal denominations of Judaism have also applied these same ideas to unmarried couples in long-term relationships.

In fact, Avi says, the Rabbis themselves were really very open to discussions of sex until they felt the Puritanical influence from the emergence of Christianity during the medieval period. Unfortunately, the effects are still felt today, and a lot of this great, useful information is never communicated to young adults in observant, Orthodox communities.

Religious Jews can be very modest, Rachel says. And with so much emphasis on modest dress and certain taboos, it’s no wonder that people aren’t talking about sex. “Talking about sex is seen as something that ‘they’ (secular Jews) do,” she says, “when really, everybody goes home and does it.

“How many people are walking around with unsatisfied sex lives because they won’t talk about it?”

Couples often come in with misconceptions and urban legends like they can only have sex through a hole in the sheet or they think that Judaism only condones sex in the missionary position. By confronting the texts, couples learn that sex is not deviant if it makes two people feel closer to each other.

On the other hand, Rachel says, “We live in a very sexualized culture, so people feel like their sex life has to be wild and wacky. They make an effort to present that everything is normal.”

Like George Michael Says, Sex Is Natural, Sex Is Fun
So what advice do the Finegold’s have for young newlyweds?

“Don’t feel compelled to do something,” Avi says, “but feel free to go for it. Don’t take it too seriously. Sometimes you can just have fun with it and that’s okay too. Judaism wants you to have fun with it. Don’t expect that everything has to be an event. Sometimes fun sex is great sex too.”

“A lot of people say sex is not Jewish—it’s something neutral,” Rachel says. “I think what we try to say is sex is very Jewish—it’s a mitzvah.  It’s not just about procreation, but there’s something about bringing two people together.”

So what is kosher sex?

“Anything that brings you together as a couple,” Rachel says,—“that’s kosher sex.”

Want to talk with Rachel and Avi Finegold? Email Rachel at  rkfinegold@asbi.org . 

Anyone who has ever been married, or had a serious long-term relationship, knows that there are temptations everywhere. Even the most devoutly monogamous person can find herself drawn in other directions, intrigued by the new. If you are smart, your crush remains chaste; taking the best of what is possible, breaking neither trust nor vows. After all, there is nothing wrong with building a deep friendship; even if underneath that friendship is the tacit understanding that in a different world, in a parallel reality, the boundaries would be very different. If you are less disciplined, the passion takes over and you can find yourself in a full -fledged affair of the heart.

And so it is for me.

I am very happily married to Chicago, would never dream of living elsewhere, cannot imagine a life as full or rich as the one I have here. I want to spend all of my remaining days in my glorious apartment, which could not exist anywhere but on Logan Boulevard. I need everything about this city, up to and including our ridiculous weather, our endlessly heartbreaking sports teams, our amazing culture and, it goes without saying, our spectacular food. I need it like I need oxygen. This city feeds my soul, and I am grateful everyday to live here. As much as I love traveling to far-flung reaches of the planet, even taking extended multiple month trips, Chicago waits for me, and I’ve never thought for a second of leaving it. I’m not really meaningfully me in any sense without Chicago. I am the fifth generation of my family to call the city home; Chicago is in my blood and bones.

But I’m totally sleeping with New York.

I could never be married to New York. New York is moody, and expensive, and fickle, and that bad-boy edge which is so irresistible in a lover, would be a huge impediment to making a life together.  New York is impulsive, loud, brash and occasionally cruel. New York would never remember to take the garbage out, would be rude to your mother and would flirt with your best friend. New York wouldn’t always come home at night. New York would forget the mortgage payment and chip the good china. New York doesn’t apologize. But for a little something on the side, New York is both irresistible and ideal. I have a wonderful group of friends there, people to play with. A great spa where I can get a mani/pedi almost as good as Margaret’s at EBella. A hairdresser who can give me a blowout almost as good as Michael’s at Fringe. I have a regular hotel where they know that I like the rooms that end in the number 10, down pillows not foam, extra towels, and a fridge in the room.

And if you, like me, despite your deep and powerful love and connection to your hometown, occasionally need a wicked little fling…New York is the place to sow your outlaw oats.

In the past few years I’ve been spending more and more time in the Big Apple, traveling there for work and play, sometimes as often as once a month. I’ve gotten past the awkward first stages of the relationship, when you are on pins and needles all the time, not really quite yourself, unsure and a little lost, still jumping out of bed first thing in the morning to fix your hair and brush your teeth. I’m now solidly in the best stage, when you feel like you can be yourself, are free and uninhibited, when you know your way around and have figured out exactly what works best. I know where things are, which streets to take, when to jump on the subway and when to hail a cab--and most importantly, where to eat.

Here is just a small round up of some of my favorite New York spots; these are places that are dependable, places that I have been to with regular success and joy. Some will be familiar to you; some are the kinds of places that only locals really know about. All will deliver for you. But be careful…New York is powerfully seductive, visit at your own risk.

The Morning After: 
Breakfast/Brunch

Norma’s (in the Parker Meridian Hotel)
118 W. 57th @ 6th Ave.
Pricy, but worth it. Succulent eggs, amazing French toast, perfectly crispy bacon, and they bring the hot chocolate with a whole separate bowl of whipped cream on the side. Enough said.

The Cupping Room
Corner of Broome and West Broadway
Charming little café, you’ll have to wait on the weekends, but they turn their tables pretty quickly and the wait is worth it. I go for the omelets every time, and the breads are spectacular.

H&H Bagels
2239 Broadway @ 80th St.
1551 2nd Ave. between 80th and 81st
The classic New York bagel.

Gossiping with the Ladies:
Lunch

For some reason in New York, for lunch I always seem to want French bistro food. And they have some of the best! Here are my top three:

Balthazar

80 Spring St. between Crosby and Broadway
Yes, this place was heavily featured in Sex and the City, and continues to be a scene, but it also has spectacular basic French bistro lunches. If you’re starving, go for the classic onion soup and the Croque Monsieur, the best grilled ham and cheese ever. I prefer the sautéed skate wing with brown butter or one of the salads.  And if you are really hungry, hit the steak frites, great juicy steak with a pile of perfect crisp fries.

Café Cluny
284 W. 12th St. @ West 4th St.
I know it so isn’t French, but they have one of the best burgers I have ever tasted. Ditto the lamb Bolognese. And don’t skip their take on the warm goat cheese salad…this has watercress and green apples and a terrific shallot vinaigrette.

Café Luxembourg
200 W. 70th @ Amsterdam
Chicken paillard. Full stop. And start with whatever the soup of the day is, they are all fantastic.

If you are in the mood for New York Deli, you aren’t going to beat Katz’s, 205 E. Houston St. @ Ludlow St. And yes, you can sit at the table where Meg Ryan faked her famous orgasm. Hit the corned beef or pastrami hard, grab a matzo ball soup, and either a Black Cherry, Cream Soda, or Cel-Ray tonic. Perfection.





And for something a little different, try Cabana for Cuban food, 1022 3rd between 60th and 61st, the best black beans and rice in the city, and classic entrees like arroz con pollo and paella. I like to go and just order appetizers for lunch, especially the beef empanadas, and the tostones rellenos with chicken.

A Little Nibble:
Afternoon Snacks

New York is a walking city, and you are going to need sustenance. Never be afraid to grab a hot pretzel or a Gray’s Papaya hot dog along the way. But these places are worth making a special trip for:

Alice’s Tea Cup
156 E. 64th and Lexington
220 E. 81st between 2nd and 3rd Aves.
102 W. 73rd between Amsterdam and Columbus
I go for either crepes (Nutella with bananas, or strawberries with whipped cream) or scones with cream and jam, and a pot of tea. A great place to go with kids, their “menu for the small” is fun, and you’ll be tempted to order off it yourself.

Magnolia Bakery

401 Bleeker @ W. 11th St.
200 Columbus @ 69th St.
I know that everyone talks cupcakes here, and do not mistake me, they are serious contenders. But for me, it is all about the banana pudding. Fresh vanilla custard layered with Nilla wafers, fresh bananas and whipped cream. Get the small cup, it is too rich for more.

Rice to Riches

37 Spring St. between Mott and Mulberry
Rice pudding. All rice pudding all the time. Sixteen daily flavors that change, amazing toppings like roasted peaches and cherries and buttered graham cracker crumbs. Chic little spot to rest for a half an hour in the afternoon, or to hit for dessert after dinner. My favorites are: chocolate hazelnut, caramel, traditional vanilla, and peanut butter. I know many of you are saying “I don’t like rice pudding.” And to you I say, yes, you do, you just don’t know it yet.

Minamoto Kitchoan
608 5th St @ 49th (enter on 49th)
Gorgeous traditional Japanese sweets. Not your usual snack, and some very unique flavors, but these little jewels are tasty pieces of art. I especially love the whole cherries suspended in peach jelly.

Payard
1032 Lexington between 73rd and 74th St.
The bistro is good, but pricy, but the pastries are totally worth an afternoon visit. Basics like éclairs are always delish, but try some of the classic macaroons. Glorious.

The Big Date:
Fancy Dinner

DB Bistro Moderne
55 W. 44th between 5th and 6th Aves.
Daniel Boulud can do no wrong, in my eyes, and the food in this warm lovely room is impeccable. I start with the orechiette pasta with lamb ragu and goat cheese, and the arugula salad is a triumph. The halibut with cauliflower risotto is amazing, and the hanger steak (one of my favorite cuts) is transcendent.  But if you’re craving classic French, you’ll never find a better Coq Au Vin or Blanquette de Veau. I could eat here every night, although it would put me in the poorhouse. Let them recommend a wine, the white burgundy they suggested last time I was there was beyond perfect. And be sure at least one person at your table gets the Apple Tarte Tatin for dessert.

Perilla
9 Jones St. between Broadway and 6th Ave.
For you Top Chef fans, this is Harold Dieterle’s (winner of season one) restaurant and he clearly won for a very good reason. His food is amazing. I start with either the crispy pork belly, the seared scallops or the duck meatballs…all beautiful and complex without being fussy. For entrée’s, the game hen is juicy, wrapped in bacon and anointed with pomegranate molasses, resting on a bed of perfect spaetzle. The steamed black bass is ethereal, and makes you feel almost virtuous. And the braised Elk osso bucco is a dish so good you want to jump in it. Get a side order of Brussels sprouts leaves. And for dessert, the vanilla doughnuts and sticky toffee pudding will fit the bill.

Alto
11 E. 53rd St. between Madison and 5th Ave.
Chef Michael White, formerly of Spiggia and Fiamma is an old family friend, lucky for us, and does fine-dining Italian better than anyone. For appetizers, get the scallops or the octopus. Pasta is all done in-house and is uniformly amazing, extra points for the butternut squash ravioli, the duck and chestnut maccheroni, and the gnocchi (and I am not a gnocchi fan!). If you’re in the mood for fish, go for the branzino with black olives, and if meat is on your mind either the rack of lamb or the veal chop will make your night. Save room for dessert, the torrone is rich with chocolate and hazelnut, and bombolini lemon custard filled doughnuts will haunt your dreams.

The Less Big Date:
Moderate Dinner

Fabio Piccolo Fiore
44th between 2nd and 3rd Aves.
This is your basic Italian restaurant with a twist…if you don’t see it on the menu, they will make it for you. Really. Their menu dishes are very good, veal marsala or piccata, excellent pastas, the menu won’t surprise you, but you will find plenty to choose from. But I come here when I most wish I had a kitchen. When I’m sad that I can’t just make something simple for myself. On my last visit I looked at my waiter and said “ I need pappardelle, light sauce…just some olive oil and lemon, no garlic, maybe some chicken breast and, um, zucchini?”  Without even pausing he said “Very good, some capers, yes?”  Sigh. “Yes, please.”  The dish arrived, was topped with a flurry of Parmesan, and was exactly what I wanted. Moist chunks of chicken, zucchini slivers perfectly cooked, al dente pasta and just the barest anointing of lemony sauce with a scattering of capers. Almost like being at home.

Josie’s East
565 3rd Ave. between 37th and 38th Sts.
This is always where I go when I’m meeting vegetarian friends. The organic cooking has plenty that is great for veg-heads and carnivores alike, and they often have innovative specials on the menu. Start with the potato-broccoli dumplings or a salad. I love both the roasted chicken and the rib eye, and my vegetarian buddies swear by the tofu with fried brown rice and veggies.

Prune
54 E. 1st St. between 1st and 2nd Ave.
Intimate and cozy, this East Village gem is worth making a special trip for. The roasted marrowbones are an amazing luxury, and the Parmesan omelet is a unique starter. For entrees, I go for the roasted capon, which is chicken to the tenth power, and the lamb blade steak, a great and often overlooked cut. For side dishes, try the cardoons, which taste like the perfect combination of artichoke and celery, and the bitter greens are a bright and fresh accompaniment to the rich meats. Stick to the fruit desserts, I like the apple galette in its own caramel, and the fried sugared figs.

The Cheap and Easy:
Inexpensive Dinner

Sometimes you don’t want to dine, you just want to eat. Whether picking up to take back to the hotel, or just grabbing something quick before the theater, you shouldn’t have to end up at some fast food grease palace.

Ippudo
65 4th Ave. between 9th and 10th streets
If you’ve only ever eaten ramen as those salty packaged blocks we all survived on in college, you’ve never really eaten ramen. And frankly, for a good quick meal on the go, a bowl of hearty broth with great noodles and add-ins can’t be beat. I love the Pork Ramen Classic - Shiomaru Moto Sji Ramen with  Berkshire pork chashu, cabbage, and scallions. They also have versions with miso broth instead of pork broth, and a vegetable version. Yum.

Grand Central Market
Grand Central Station, Lexington Ave. between 44th and 43rd Sts.
Am I actually recommending you grab dinner in the train station?  Hella yeah. Grand Central Station has the best freaking food court and market I’ve seen, and you can get the perfect NY breakfast, lunch, snack or dinner. Best of all, you can wander and cobble together a great meal from several different vendors, so if you want famous Junior’s cheesecake after your rotisserie chicken, its right there for you. Dishes, in the Marketplace on the upper level has great prepared foods, and on my last trip, in need of a decent meal I could take back to the hotel, I picked up a rosemary lemon chicken breast, tomato and smoked mozzarella pasta, and a fennel salad. A roll from the nearby bakery, and a piece of fruit from the produce stand, and I could feel sated and healthy, and very deserving of a night in with the Turner Classic Movie channel.

Moonstruck Diner
400 W. 23rd St. at 9th Ave.
Classic diner menu, good service, reasonable prices. Eat in or take out. I love the patty melts…but you’ll be fine with any of the basic menu items.

If you have favorite New York haunts, be sure to share with the class.

And don’t worry. If you decide to have your own affair with New York, I promise not to tell Chicago.

Yours in good taste,
Stacey
www.staceyballis.com 

NOSH of the week:  This is plenty of food, so this week, if you’re tempted to head to NY for a romp and don’t have a couch to crash on, you’ll need to get a decent night’s sleep. I have become very loyal to the Fitzpatrick Hotels. They have one on Lexington between 56th and 57th street, and one on 44th between Lexington and 3rd Ave. A small Irish hotel group, both of these Midtown locations are lovely and with their own unique charm, and both are walking distance to Grand Central Station, which is my best hub for getting around (the Shuttle to Times Square is a godsend). Impeccable friendly service, comfy beds, decent sized-rooms for NY (expect smaller than you are used to by Chicago standards) and very reasonable prices. Not over the top luxury, but for business travel, you’ll find yourself comfortable and well taken care of.

NOSH food read of the week:  Mouth Wide Open  by John Thorne.

On March 9th, we usher in the holiday of Purim. It's another great example of that ancient wisdom, "They tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat."

That makes this an opportune time to look back on what we've been doing the past few months and give it a high five. What have I been up to? Traveling around North America telling jokes. I'm not a stand-up comedian. I just play one on book tour.

Truth is, my agenda is much bigger than merely making Jews laugh. I'm celebrating how cool it is to be Jewish and sharing thoughts on what I call the "Jewish Cultural Revival." You might call it, "Showing Judaism a good time."

My book, Cool Jew: The Ultimate Guide for Every Member of the Tribe (Andrews McMeel, September 2008), is a comprehensive, loving and irreverent look at Jewish life. It covers everything from identity, Jewish diversity, cuisine, gear and language to lifecycle events, holidays, and spirituality--what I call "Kabba Lah Lah for Non-Dummies." It's been said Cool Jew does for gefilte fish and matzah balls what The Official Preppy Handbook did for plaid and polo, only with much more chutzpah.

We've had a few events to celebrate. Forty-four to be exact. Soon after Sukkot, I left my home in California for a whirlwind tour that continued through much of January. I could write another book about all that happened. Here are some highlights...

In New York, an unprecedented line-up of talented Heebsters (my term for cool Jews) came out to celebrate the launch of my book at an "Extreme Book Signing" with an artists showcase at the JCC of Manhattan. On the bill: stand-up comedian Yisrael Campbell, performance poet Matthue Roth, Ladino chanteuse Sarah Aroeste, actor Franny Silverman of Storahtelling, singer/songwriters Michelle Citrin, Naomi Less of Jewish Chicks Rock, Dov Rosenblatt and Avi Hoffman of Blue Fringe, Chana Rothman and Rav Shmuel. Two hundred people packed a lobby filled with authentic, vintage Jewish signage collected by Rabbi Michael Strassfeld. It was, as my father would say, a grosse mechaiyah.

And who knew Torontonians were so menschlich? Helpful strangers gave me a subway token, carried my things through the turnstile, and even walked me through the Yorkdale Mall to the door of Indigo bookstore. There, another stranger introduced herself to me as "Lisa Klug" -- her real name. The next evening, the Koffler Centre of the Arts served adorable blue and white "Cool Jew" cookies and gingerbread Yidden with tallit stripes of white icing at the first ever "Cool Jew Cabaret." (The good folks at the Koffler have since instituted the event, so has music impressario Craig Taubman of Los Angeles.) And the local Costco stocked Cool Jew, reportedly next to a stack of Art Scroll prayerbooks, which my book jacket spoofs. Now that's divine providence!

Because I keep kosher, friends had warned me, "You're going to starve." Are you kidding me? This was a Jewish book tour. With a dessert bar that kept appearing nearly everywhere I did. I ate gingerbread in Toronto, brownies in Kansas City, chocolate fondue in Scottsdale and cotton candy in San Francisco. I gained 10 pounds. (The curse of the "Book Tour Ten.")

When I wasn't busy snacking, people asked me all kinds of questions like, "Do you have a day job?" Yes, of course. I'm a stay at home mom. But without the husband and kids. Actually, I'm a freelance journalist. In other words, my day job requires another day job. Do you need any one-liners in your office?

Being on tour is its own "Twilight Zone." You visit so many places (and eat so much sugar) in such a short period of time that some days you wake up forgetting you're in foreign country. You know how it goes. You're walking down the street and things feel familiar but suddenly you're really tripping because those red hexagonal signs you've read all your life as S-T-O-P suddenly say "Arret."

Once I realized I was in that one part of North America known as "Kabeck," I figured I'd play along. I started reading all the signs as if I were Lumiere. You know, that talking candelabra from "Beauty and the Beast?" It was fun. "Park Olympique. Jardin Botanique. Irrigation Colonique." Those French know how to make anything sound good.

As the tour continued, people started calling me cool Jew. It's been kind of uncomfortable. I'm not that cool. I'm the dork who wrote the book. But that hasn't stopped people from asking me to evaluate their coolness. They say things like, "Lisa, my name is Mordechai Lefkowitz. Does that make me a cool Jew? Lisa, I'm Morrocan and I speak Yiddish. Am I a cool Jew? Lisa, I'm a shiksa and I love knishes. Does that count?"

Eventually, the questions turned to theology. During a live interview on an Alabama radio station, the middle-aged host asked me to resolve a question he'd been struggling with since college: "Do Jews believe in heaven and hell?" Then he announced, "We'll be right back for Lisa's answer after this traffic report." I had 30 seconds to come up with an intelligible answer.

When we were back on air, I told him the truth. "Jews do believe in heaven and hell. Heaven is a Sabbath dinner Friday night with family and friends. Heaven is falafel in a lafa on the streets of Jerusalem. Heaven is lox and bagels Sunday morning with all the fixings. And hell is a diet."

My labor of love has done all right. In June, Cool Jew won Honorable Mention in the New York Book Festival. In October/November, I was named Erma Bombeck Humor Writer of the Month. Just weeks ago, Cool Jew was also named a finalist in the 2008 National Jewish Book Awards in the category of Contemporary Jewish Life. It appears to be the first humor/pop culture title honored in the 50-year history of the awards. And in late February, the Contemporary Jewish Museum in San Francisco debuted an installation I created called "Matzo Ball Disco" that incorporates light, music, and holograms of flying Jewish stars. It's my Heebster interpretation of a seder plate.

Tour has changed me, perhaps forever. I've become... emboldened. One night, after a reading in Baltimore, I used lipgloss to sticker my book logo onto a massive sign and the image of a tranquil reader in lotus position. The first full day of the new U.S. president's in office, I slipped Cool Jew into the hands of an Obama puppet at the Washington Monument. I even risked the reprimands of the Secret Service to sneak a giant semblance of my book onto the White House lawn to snap a photo. That's part of the joy of having written this book. Now, nearly every day has the potential to be a little Purim... with a lot more chutzpah.

©Lisa Alcalay Klug

Lisa Alcalay Klug, the author of Cool Jew: the Ultimate Guide for Every Member of the Tribe, fantasizes about posting her book logo on the Space Shuttle. Learn more about her adventures at   www.cooljewbook.com .

Be sure to check out Lisa’s interview with  Oy!

Lisa, being cool and Jewish

In 2005, Lisa Alcalay Klug wrote two articles about being Jewish. One for the San Francisco Chronicle about how cool it is to be a Jew in the Bay Area, and another for The Forward about eight nights of Chanukah kitsch. “These two stories had something essential in common: a pride in being Jewish, an embrace of kitsch and a reverent irreverence—an irreverence based on a real love of being Jewish. When I thought of a concept to encapsulate that, the word Heebster lit up in my brain like a neon sign,” Lisa says.

She already had some early ideas for a book mapped out. “But once I came up with the book’s alias, The Heebster Handbook, that idea fueled the project. My non-Jewish editor Christine gets it. She grew up on Long Island.”

Oy! talked with Lisa about cool stuff, Jewish stuff and how her book tour and Barack Obama inspired her new project.

Oy!: What, in your mind, is a cool Jew?
Lisa: There is so much that makes Jews cool. Perhaps the most important is knowing where you come from, celebrating being Jewish and taking pride in your identity. When you're a Heebster, you don't have to work hard to be cool. You just got to be Jew!

You have a diverse Jewish background; how does that impact your writing?
My father is an Ashkenazi Holocaust survivor from a modern Hasidic, German-speaking Jewish family who lived in Danzig. Before World War II, Danzig was an independent city-state between Germany and Poland. My dad grew up speaking German, Yiddish, Polish and studying Hebrew. After the war, my dad recuperated in France. My mother is from Panama and her Israeli parents descend from Ladino-speaking Jews from the Balkans. She spent part of her childhood in Israel.

My parents met and married in California, where I grew up. We followed most of my father’s minhagim (traditions), and ate a lot of my mother’s favorite tropical fruits. Sometimes my school lunches were wacky combinations, like gefilte fish and coconut.

My parents inspired me to experiment with language, culture, travel and sometimes cuisine. And that has influenced the diversity reflected in the pages of my book. Cool Jew isn’t autobiographical but between the lines, you can see how my roots come into play. My parents had very rich Jewish experiences in other countries and cultures. And my book grew out of all the ways I’ve sought to create meaningful Jewish experiences of my own.

What has surprised you about people’s reactions to the book?
The kindness, generosity and heartfelt response of audiences has really surprised me. All around the country, the feedback I receive to my presentations is "inspirational, fun and poignant." Audiences share their own stories with me, in person and in emails, including many converts, and that has been very moving, beautiful and humbling. I've also been delighted to receive several honors. That's been a really fun surprise!

Your new blog,  Tolerant Nation , was inspired by what you saw on your book tour. What are some of the things that happened on the tour that made you step back and say, we need this?
I am thrilled by the tremendous support and enthusiastic response to Cool Jew. But I was also dismayed by the ignorance and bigotry I sometimes encountered from "shock jocks," radio show hosts during live radio interviews on my tour.

I reported the most offensive of these to the ADL, which followed up with the station directly, but in the weeks preceding the inauguration of President Obama, I wanted to do more. Watching the first person of color ascend to our country's highest office inspired me to create an online forum for cross-cultural dialogue and to increase awareness of multiculturalism.

Tolerant Nation launched the first Erev Shabbat following the inauguration. And each Friday since, I edit and post a piece from a guest blogger that discusses multiculturalism, cross-cultural dialogue and tolerance. It's been a great eye-opening experience and I've learned a lot. We welcome submissions and comments so please get in touch.

When I was writing my book, it was very important that it reflect that we are a diverse people. As a result, Cool Jew includes tons of information about Jewish multiculturalism, an entire chapter about Jewish languages and another chapter about Jewish diversity. This includes what we share with other people: Japanese, Hawaiians, rappers... Cool Jew highlights various Sephardic customs, foods and other references and it also encourages involvement in Tikkun Olam, social justice. So, in all these ways, Tolerant Nation is an extension of my book.

What's next for you?
I really miss Israel so hopefully a good long stay in Jerusalem.  Before that can happen, I have speaking gigs at colleges, shuls and Hillels around the country. I'm continuing writing freelance pieces and helping others with their projects as a writing coach. And I'm working on my next book, a sequel of sorts. Stay tuned!

Check out Lisa’s tales from the road in Living Jewishly!

Kompel hiking with Isaac (a member of the Abayudaya) in Sipi Falls

My day starts at 5:30 a.m., sipping a much-needed cup of coffee while putting on my hand wraps and waiting for my personal trainer to arrive for my daily kickboxing lesson. After an hour workout, I watch the news over a leisurely breakfast, take a hot shower and get ready for work. After a short walk in the blazing sun, I greet the security guard, turn on the computers, make some more coffee and read the paper for an hour before the others arrive. Another perfect morning in Uganda, unlike any back home in Chicago, yet completely different from what I had anticipated when I prepared for my volunteer posting in Africa.

I made the decision to volunteer overseas with American Jewish World Service (AJWS) last June. AJWS Volunteer Corps places professional Jewish men and women on volunteer assignments for two to 12 months with local nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) in developing countries. I knew I would be going through a career transition and decided to take advantage of this window of time to pursue my passion for economic development. When I found out three weeks before my scheduled departure that I would be heading to Uganda, and realized that everything I knew about the country was based on the movies Operation Thunderbolt and The Last King of Scotland, I admit I got a little nervous.

What struck me the most during my first week in Kampala, the capital city, was just how much I stood out. There were many other white people living in Kampala, but at any given moment I seemed to be the only one. It was disconcerting to be the minority—stared at, and laughed at, losing my individual identity and being called Muzungu, “white person.” I never did get used to that, but after a while, the things that seemed so strange in the beginning—boda bodas (motorcycle taxis) speeding down the bumpy roads, carrying mothers riding sideways with babies on their backs; the smell of burning garbage; hunched women sweeping dust-covered streets; complete chaos in the markets, “short calls” (quick stops to pee out in the open beside the bus); and flashing (calling and hanging up on the recipient so they call back and pay the charges)—all these became merely part of everyday life.

Having traveled through South Africa and other developing countries, I was excited to experience Uganda as a resident rather than a tourist, immerse myself in a new culture and learn about the trials of living in a poor country. I had gone to Uganda expecting to learn from these differences, but I had never put any real thought into what I would take away from the similarities. Living in Kampala, there were many similarities to America—fancy restaurants, hotels and bars, a mall and movie theater, fitness clubs, golf courses, and many others. I learned just how easy it is to make new, lifelong friends and how quickly one can change every aspect of her life if she chooses. I learned that I like being able to more fully participate in Jewish services and I reveled in being called to the Torah for the first time on Rosh Hashanah at the Abayudaya (a unique and welcoming Jewish community of approximately 800 Ugandans in the eastern part of the country).



Moses Synagogue in Nabugoye, the largest shul in Mbale

From Thanksgiving and U.S. election night to Uganda Independence Day and Eid (the festival that marks the end of Ramadan), every event brought my new mix of Ugandan, European and American friends together to celebrate. I was truly inspired by the many volunteers, expatriates and locals I met overseas. Most of my favorite people I met completely by chance. At home they would have simply come in and out of my life without further thought, as I would have been too busy to give the relationships time to develop. My fellow AJWS volunteers Laurie and Dan were newlyweds who decided to start out their life together by giving back and sharing a unique adventure. Myriam, a doctor from New York, finished residency and gave up a full-time offer to volunteer in a rural hospital for six months. Becca, an expat from Wisconsin, is working through “MBAs Without Borders” to effect positive change in East Africa. Tony, a Ugandan entrepreneur with a small but successful tour company, rescued me when I got stranded in the middle of nowhere and became a good friend, encouraging me to start my own company upon return to the States.



Kompel Standing with coworkers on the equator on our way to see the mountain gorillas in Bwindi

Before I went to Uganda, I was unsure of how much of an impact I could have in a few short months. Looking back, I implemented a financial system for an NGO that otherwise would have continued operating without one, and that is now in a position to raise larger funds more quickly to support its cause and country. I also developed strong relationships and presented myself as an American and a Jew in hopes of leaving a positive impression. At my farewell team lunch, Prossy, my good friend and counterpart, gave the most remarkable speech about what I had given to her and to the organization. In that instant, I knew that volunteering had been the right choice and that I would return to the developing world to work on sustainable economic development.

As I think about my time in Uganda and share stories of my life there, I may not mention using pit latrines, tearing my hair out on long, uncomfortable bus rides, having to look down as I walked so I wouldn’t fall into an enormous pothole, and seeing  malnourished kids begging in the streets daily. It’s not that I have simply forgotten or that these things weren’t part of my reality or experience in Uganda, but mostly because that is what people expect to hear about life in Africa, and it is not the complete picture. The images that we see of Africa in the news inspire me to want to work in the global arena, but it was both the similarities and the differences that led to my own transformations. One of my first journal entries in Uganda included my frustration with how slowly people seemed to move. Walking to work on my last day, it struck me that I was the one being passed up by others taking the same route.



Kompel on safari in Murchison Falls

Rivka Kompel is a graduate of the Kellogg School of Management MBA program and the President of Verity Solutions Group, a services company focused on providing management, back office operations, and due diligence support for small to mid-sized companies. The company specializes in the real estate and non-profit industries.

Jeremy Weisz has got your back

Every day, Dr. Jeremy Weisz collects quotes and keeps track of his favorites. The latest one at the bottom of all his emails reads: "Excellence can be attained if you Care more than others think is wise, Risk more than others think is safe, Dream more than others think is practical, and Expect more than others think is possible." (Author Unknown)

A Deerfield native, Jeremy now lives in the city and is having a great year. At his wedding last fall, he and his wife performed a swing dance for their first song—complete with costume changes—then honeymooned in the Dominican Republic. Just last month he moved his chiropractic office to a brand new, custom designed space in Roscoe Village. He’s now looking forward to the May re-opening of Mario’s Italian Ice near UIC; a place he has raved about for years.

So whether you love Mario’s Italian ice, go swing dancing, collect quotes, or need a good chiropractor, Dr. Jeremy Weisz is a Jew you should know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
Of course one of my favorite websites is my own: www.drweisz.com. It really gives people a glimpse into what we do and what we are about, especially the "Mission and Values” page where I really took a lot of time to think through what we are all about. We take a lot of pride in it.

The other website I like is JDate as that is where I met my wife so I gotta love it!

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
I would travel to Italy in the Tuscan region as it is such a relaxing, laid back place. The food is grown fresh, I love Italian food and it is such a joyful and serene place to be.

I would also go to Australia because I have never been there and my wife really wants to go; of course she is the boss. I have heard the weather is nice and the people are friendly.

3. If a movie were made about your life, who would play you?
Probably Ben Afleck, or if it were a comedy, Ben Stiller.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
I would have a meal with Victor Frankel as I love his book,  Man's Search for Meaning  and would love to chat about anything and everything with him. I would also invite Thomas Edison, one of the greatest innovators and inventors ever, as it is amazing what he has done. I would pick his brain about anything and everything. I think I would serve a huge pot of chicken soup, delicious beef brisket, several Italian dishes and lots of desserts to keep us chatting through the night.

5. What's your idea of the perfect day?
Tough question. If it were within the realm of my normal day or a fantasy day? For normal day...have a delicious breakfast with eggs and pancakes with my wife and then go on a long walk and possibly some biking or sports in the middle of the day. Go to a Cubs game with a bunch of friends and family then go out to a nice dinner with everyone and come back to the apartment and just have dessert and wine with my wife and relax by the fireplace.

6. What do you love about what you do?
I work in an amazing environment surrounded by relaxing music, ocean sounds, and friendly faces. We are really privileged to be able to help people everyday. People come in with low back pain, neck pain, headaches and all sorts of aches and pains and we are really able to help people decrease pain which really helps their quality of life. We help people with Chiropractic care for spinal alignment and Massage therapists who help relax tight muscles for patients. It is rewarding to see people come in with a frown and leave with more of a smile on their face.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
Growing up I always wanted to play baseball for the Cubs ...so I would be the bullpen catcher for the Cubs.

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
I love going to the Friday night service before Martin Luther King Day where they have the Gospel Choir come in and perform throughout the entire service. It is an amazing experience; I go every year.

Aaron Nunez-Gross is a Jewish Mexican-American man; he’s a city boy, yet was raised in the country too. He’s a about to graduate college, still finding his way in the world, but he’s also a guardian to his 17-year-old younger brother and a role model to other young people. He dances Flamenco and listens to Sephardic music; and he’s passionate about so much—about science, theology, politics, and peace in Israel.

As we sit down at a Hyde Park Greek diner on a cold February morning, the gregarious Nunez-Gross, 24, banters with the waitress in Spanish like they’re old friends. He’s been frequenting the diner for many years—as long as he’s lived in the neighborhood. He orders scrambled eggs, skirt steak and hash browns—his usual—and then begins to share with me his unique Jewish story.

Nunez-Gross was born in Mexico City in the mid-1980s and then came with his family to the States at the age of three. His father, a neuro-anesthesiologist, and his mother, a neurobiologist, previously had been on sabbatical from Duke University in Mexico, where his dad was born and raised. His father believes his family dates back to the Marranos, Spanish Jews who converted to Christianity to escape persecution, but practiced their Judaism in secret. Nunez-Gross’s family settled in Hyde Park, after his father was offered a position as a medical resident at the University of Chicago.

Though his family wasn’t traditionally observant—his mother served her kids BLTs in bed on their birthdays growing up—Nunez-Gross had a formal Jewish upbringing, including celebrating his bar mitzvah, lighting candles with his family on Friday nights, and attending Akiba-Schechter Jewish Day School on Chicago’s South Side. Post-eighth-grade graduation, Nunez-Gross spent the summer in Mexico with his grandmother and his half brother and half sister (from his father’s first marriage). He came home to Hyde Park at the end of summer, ready to start high school.

But his parents threw a monkey-wrench into his plan. “Guess what?” his folks sprang on their son. “We bought a dairy farm in Indiana.”

“I was furious,” says Nunez-Gross. “I had school and friends and my classes all picked out at the Chicago Lab School.” Yet his parents insisted. After all, they weren’t fans of city living even though they had spent many years in Hyde Park. They were country people—his father had grown up on the Mexican countryside in the southern town of Oaxaca, while his mother was raised on the countryside of England. Growing up, Nunez-Gross recalls his mother often criticizing Chicago and city life, which was a big part of why she wanted to relocate. “I remember once going with my mom downtown. She was carrying my younger brother (a baby at the time) and running to the car when she tripped and fell,” he says. “No one helped her up.”

Aaron visiting an elementary school in Israel, where the kids were studying the seasons, specifically winter in America vs. Israel. He taught them the song “Singin’ in the Rain” with full choreography.

So they were off to live life on the farm in the small town of Knox, Ind. “It was culture shock to say the least,” recalls Nunez-Gross. “You look at the Hyde Park community, a completely culturally heterogeneous area with, on average, a high level of education. I went from going to Akiba-Schechter in Chicago to a public high school out in burning brimstone fundamentalist Protestant USA. It was very, very strange.” On top of the culture shock, as soon as they moved to the farm, his mother cut the cords to the television. So, instead of watching TV, he would spend hours memorizing Shakespeare.

As a Jewish Mexican-American teen, Nunez-Gross realized he had little in common with the people in town. For the most part, he said, the people in town were “well-intentioned,” even if many were ignorant, and he managed to make friends there. But even among his friends, he experienced both anti-Semitism and racism. He and some other guys would be hanging out, playing video games when someone would call an African-American person a derogatory name.

There was one time when he was checking out books at the library when he noticed a girl staring at his head, clad in a baseball cap. “Can I see them?” she asked him. “See what?” he wondered. Then it struck him—she wanted to see his horns.

“When it hits that kind of level, you don’t get angry or offended,” he explains. “You don’t want to reciprocate by being patronizing. All you can do is joke.” So he took off his cap and let her touch his head and told her he would answer any of her other questions.

Nunez-Gross spent his high-school years on the farm, where he learned agrarian tasks such as milking cows and birthing calves and lambs. Although he considered himself an atheist at that point in life, he still felt a spiritual connection to the farm. “When you watch the spring lambs jump up and down in the field and everything is alive,” he says, “you can’t help but feel something in your heart, even the most obnoxious of atheists.”

Aaron at the top of Masada

He grew to appreciate his life on the farm in a way he couldn’t back in Chicago. “It really was probably one of the best decisions my parents could have made, because I had been a problem kid in the city, getting into trouble,” he says. “The beautiful thing about going to Indiana was, I was representing two minorities on my shoulders. I wasn’t just one of many, where I could do what I wanted and no one would judge me. I was now the Jewish boy in the country, the Hispanic boy. That forced me to get my [life] together.”

Even though he grew to like life in Indiana, he yearned to return to Hyde Park, so he applied and was accepted at the University of Chicago. He had a hard time keeping up with the rigorous academics of the university at first, but his studies improved and he developed an interest in politics and interned for former U.S. Rep. Rahm Emanuel, now President Obama’s chief of staff.

Later in college, Nunez-Gross regained his sense of faith that he had lost on the farm. He was an atheist in high school partly because of his experience with anti-Semitism, partly because he was the son of two scientists who had an “obligation to rationalism,” and partly because he was a teenager who thought he knew all the answers.

Then, one day, while sitting in an astrophysics class called “Evolution of the Solar System,” his professor was lecturing on black holes. The concept of black holes sounded oddly familiar to what Nunez-Gross had read about the creation of the world in the Zohar (considered the most important work of Kabbalah, or Jewish mysticism) about “a single infinitesimal point of immense density and energy which could not be seen.” He concluded that perhaps science and religion didn’t contradict each other. From that point on, he felt that he had the obligation to explore Judaism and theology in general. Eventually, he switched his major to Jewish Studies and last winter, he traveled to Israel for the first time on a Taglit-Birthright Israel trip.

This month, Nunez-Gross will graduate from the University of Chicago and take a job at the university’s Newberger Hillel, where he will act as an assistant to the director of engagement. He will also lead an Alternative Spring Break trip to New Orleans over spring break, and he will work with students traveling on Birthright Israel programs. He ultimately would like to make aliyah (immigrate to Israel). “I am a ferocious Zionist and love Israel with all my heart. I cannot wait to get my life and some money together and make aliyah,” says Nunez-Gross. “I would love to work on the peace process. Much needs to be done in terms of diplomacy between theological figures. There needs to be increased dialogue between imams and rabbis.” In addition to the peace process, he worries what the legacy of the Holocaust will be in a decade, when most of the survivor generation has perished.

Aaron at a waterfall in a national park near Be’er Sheva, Israel

Last year, he became guardian to his 17-year-old brother. During the presidential election, his family’s Indiana farm town had been fraught with heightened racism, spurring his brother to leave Indiana and move in with his older brother in Chicago. Nunez-Gross is trying to improve his Spanish and his brother is working on his Hebrew, so the two siblings often communicate with one another in the language they need practice in, which “comes out like some freakish form of what was once Ladino.”

Nunez-Gross looks back life on the farm with gratitude and says it helped make him the best person—and Jew—he could be. “Being thrust into that [dual]-minority position,” he recalls, “forced me to get my act together and start taking responsibility for who I am and where I come from.”

Ninety-six participants in the sixth annual Russian Shabbaton divided into small groups to discuss issues of identity, history and immigration. Jane Charney (second from left in the back) led one of the groups with husband Max Averbukh (first from left in the back).

What makes us Jews? Whether it’s blood, belief or cultural bonds, it can be hard to define exactly what makes us “Members of the Tribe.”

The identity question is especially challenging to one subset of the American Jewish Tribe: the Russian-speaking Jews. Officially, more than 30,000 Jews from the former Soviet Union have resettled in Chicago in the past 15 years alone. Many more probably immigrated under the radar. In total, almost one million Russian-speaking Jews live throughout North America.

One of those one million, I was 13 when my family moved from Moscow to Cincinnati, Ohio, to join the families of my aunt and uncle in 1996. Although we were among the last in the extended family to emigrate from Russia, my family had been trying to leave since the mid-1980s. And though my siblings and I never faced outward discrimination for being Jewish, my parents would tell stories of being rejected from university or forced to take a lower-level position because of the word “Jewish” written in their passports.

For Russian-speaking Jews, questions of identity – and there are many – often begin in ethnic terms. In the Soviet nationalities policy, the term “Jewish” meant descended from other Jews – an ethnic designation. In fact, Soviet passports answered the “ethnic origin” question with “Jewish,” much as an ethnic Tajik’s passport would say “Tajik.” This Soviet-era policy fostered an abhorrence of labels of all kinds and the reticence to join any official community.

Despite having been inculcated with the idea of Jewishness as ethnicity, Russian Jews often repressed the notion upon arrival to the United States to try to fit in. Here, Judaism is a religion and a culture, albeit one that might not be familiar to families used to standardized Soviet traditions.

Religious practice and knowledge is an issue in itself: Many Russian-speaking Jews either have no exposure to synagogue life beyond their first couple of years in the States or believe that the Orthodox practice is the only option. Good luck finding a Conservative or Reform synagogue-affiliated Russian-speaking Jew. The story goes something like this: A rabbi asks a Russian Jewish woman what one would eat on Yom Kippur. “Matzah?” she wonders. Although this group might have an idea of some Jewish holidays, the familiarity is only skin-deep for many.

Culturally, we might know more about how to make Olivier (a Russian potato salad) than gefilte fish, and have assimilated Russian intellectual pursuits into our psyche. Whether it’s been five or 15 years since immigrating to the States, many of us still cherish some aspect of our Russianness – the language or the culture or the sheer wealth of jokes that simply do not translate well into English. At the same time, we live here, we speak English with our friends, and our attitudes borrow from both our American education and our Russian-Jewish souls.

The question of who we are loomed large at this weekend’s sixth annual Midwest Russian Shabbaton – a program of Russian Hillel, which is part of Hillels Around Chicago. Unlike other Hillel programs, the participants at the Shabbaton ranged in age from 18 to 32. Although Hillel’s programs are geared primarily to college students, Russian Hillel has been attracting older crowds as well since its founding six years ago. Perhaps, this is because Russian-speaking Jews want to figure out this mindboggling hodgepodge of identities swirling in their heads.



Participants perform a skit representing their connections at the sixth annual Russian Shabbaton

Throughout the weekend, both participants and staff tried to speak mostly in Russian, but English words crawled into the sentences here and there. And for the first time in the Shabbaton’s history, some participants could not communicate in Russian at all, forcing staff to translate throughout sessions. Still, even those who do not speak the language maintain a connection to some inherent Russianness and consider themselves a Russian-American Jew rather than just an American Jew.

In college, my best friend introduced me to Hillel, and we established a weekly ritual of celebrating Shabbat there. Although I think of those days fondly, I also remember feeling that something was missing. I found out about the first Russian Shabbaton in 2004 through a friend of a friend, and the missing piece was revealed. It was the chance to speak about being Jewish in the context of also being Russian, and not having to choose between the two. Even more importantly, it was the chance to speak about these issues in Russian. Although both Cincinnati and Indiana University had large Jewish communities, I did not connect with many Russian speakers outside of my family. I went to the second Shabbaton as a participant and was invited to become staff for the following year and have enjoyed that role ever since.

The Shabbaton opened my eyes to the fact that the idea of being unique appeals to us, and finding a niche to fit in seems easier among people who share the experience of immigration – whether it’s in our immediate past or in our parents’ stories.

For me, being Russian was never a cause for embarrassment. I picked up English quickly, and my name is sufficiently American, having been changed from Yevgeniya Charnaya to Jane Charney upon arrival to Cincinnati, Ohio in 1996.  Still, I sign most communication with Russian friends with Zhenya, the diminutive of my official Russian name. Many participants shared memories of getting weird looks or comments from fellow students or teachers who could not twist their tongues around the unfamiliar Slavic sounds. Language issues persist in our community: A Russian accent can be heard a mile away. And Russian food – all things pickled or loaded with mayo as well as the abundance of beets and unhealthy fried things – seemed bizarre to American classmates and friends. Yet, slowly, they came to cherishing their uniqueness. They might have tried to reject all memories of immigration and being Russian as high-schoolers, but, like me, inevitably discovered that something was missing from their lives.

To help others flesh out being a Russian-speaking Jew living in the United States, I created a Shabbaton activity around the 2004 documentary “The Tribe,” which condenses thousands of years of Jewish history into 16 minutes. After watching the film, we used crayons, markers, construction paper, poster-board and magazines to creatively illustrate the shared aspects our identities, releasing our inner kindergartners in the process. The 11 finished products all featured an Israeli flag marking this group’s strong connection to Israel. Yet all the other elements varied – groups used everything from the star and sickle and the Old Glory to pictures of diamonds and books as representations of professions to images of vodka and Shabbat candles to illustrate aspects of their identity.



Participants released their inner kindergartners and creatively illustrated the shared elements of their identity, including the Star of David, and the American and Russian flags

Participants also addressed the question of identity head-on in a series of workshops led by David Shneer, a University of Colorado-Boulder professor of history and Jewish studies, who engaged the mind and focused on migration stories and the feeling of “gerness” (ger is Hebrew for stranger). Shneer not only used texts by Russian-American writers, but also the parasha (Torah portion) of the week, Mishpatim, which details all the things forbidden to the Israelites, including mistreating the “ger.” The feeling of gerness is common to all immigrants and especially to Russian-speaking Jews as they seek a place to fit in. Hopefully, the Shabbaton is one such place.

Let Traci make you feel pretty

Northbrook native Traci Fein spent her teen years modeling for local institutions like Marshall Fields and Carson’s. At 19, an agency scooped her up and brought her to Paris. From there, she spent years traversing the globe. But Traci Fein is more than just a pretty face – when she returned back to the Chicago area, she started her own makeup agency, specializing in weddings and other special events.

Today, Traci continues to make Chicago’s brides beautiful and also does editorial work for publications including Time Out Chicago, Today’s Chicago Woman and Elite Modeling. So, if you need a spiffed up look for spring, love to travel or have a knack for helping family members find love on JDate, Traci Fein is a Jew You Should Know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
Right now I am hooked on Facebook. I love connecting with old and new friends. I’m pretty new but I have reconnected with a lot of people.

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
I would go everywhere! I would base myself in Chicago because I love it here. I would go back to Paris, London and Tahiti for sure. I might have small condos all spread out all over the world.

3. If a movie were made about your life, who would play you?
Uma Thurman. I’m a big fan of the Kill Bill series; I love her.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
There are so many intellectuals and poets and authors that I would love to talk to, but I’d want to just have a great, fun night. So I’d choose Mel Brooks because he’s hilarious and Paul Newman because he is the most handsome man ever. They are both funny handsome and smart – it would be the best of all worlds. I would probably invite them to Chicago and go the traditional route and eat at Gibson’s – it has a fun atmosphere and there’s always great steak.

5. What's your idea of the perfect day?
Wake up, go out on the balcony and see Lake Tahoe, have a cup of coffee and have the men in my life – my father, son and brother – with me. We’d ski and lie in the sunshine and take in the beauty of Lake Tahoe.

6. What do you love about what you do?
I love that it’s different all of the time and I love meeting new people. I like creating and working with my hands but the most rewarding thing is making somebody who might not feel as confident in her looks stand a little taller and feel confident and pretty. I can see the transformation and that makes me feel great.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
I’d be a journalist. I always wanted to be one as a little kid and I think it’s an expression of art that evokes feeling and passion in other people and gets them to think.

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
The most recent Jewish thing that I loved was putting my dad on JDate – he’d been widowed for a couple of years and was lonely. He’s not good with computers so I posed as him and got the ladies’ numbers for him so he could call. He had coffees and lunches galore. He’s found a sweetheart and they are together right now. He’s alive again and not lonely!

Zelda’s Sweet Shoppe at 4113 Main St. in Skokie

Five and a half years ago, Linda Zelda Neiman was a stay-at-home mom, doing lots of volunteer work and baking and cooking up a storm in her Lincolnwood kitchen. When she felt ready to go back to work, she opted not to go back to her old job in computer science and instead to follow her passion for sweets, opening Zelda’s Sweet Shoppe in Skokie.

The store, named for Neiman’s middle name, aims “to convey something a little old-fashioned but modern,” using quality ingredients to give customers that gourmet feel.

“[We sell] things you might expect your grandmother to make, but with a modern feel,” Neiman said.



A glance inside Zelda’s Sweet Shoppe, full of tasty chocolates, cookies and other baked goods – and they’re all kosher!

Many of the recipes, like Zelda’s decadent Southern Pecan Pie, came straight out of Neiman’s kitchen, while others have been developed over the years with her staff. Along with the pecan pie, Neiman’s favorite items are her own brand of decorated Cookie Cuties ™ – they always bring a smile to her face.

In addition to offering hand-fashioned sweets, cookies and other baked goods, everything Zelda’s offers is certified kosher under the supervision of the Chicago Rabbinical Council (CRC).

For Neiman, who grew up in West Rogers Park, attended Ida Crown Jewish Academy and keeps kosher herself, keeping her products kosher was important, but equally important was to have chocolates  and baked goods that would be as beautiful and tasty as their non-kosher counterparts.



Linda Zelda Neiman

“I felt that there wasn’t anything comparable and it’s really a shame, because it gives kosher a bad name,” she said. “The idea behind the store is to bring that gourmet product under the kosher wing. We want everything to be as beautiful as Harry & David and Godiva and taste as sweet as Leonard’s Bakery, but still have that CRC stamp.”

And judging by the many honors Zelda’s was awarded at the end of 2008, Neiman has been successful in her quest to deliver both the kosher and gourmet.

In November, Zelda’s captured four awards, including the top honor at Kosherfest 2008, the world’s largest international kosher foods trade show and exhibition with over 300 exhibitors from 14 countries. This year’s event, held Nov 11 and 12 in Secaucus, N.J., featured over 6,000 attendees.

Zelda’s, a newcomer to Kosherfest, was awarded “Best In Show” for its Southern Pecan Pie. The pie also won the “Best Dessert” category. Also awarded were Zelda’s Classic Caramel Corn and Chocolate Almond Toffee Caramel Corn for “Best Snack Food” and Zelda’s Barks, Brittles and Toffee for “Best Packaging/Design.”



A sampling of Zelda’s award-winning treats

Since Kosherfest, Neiman said they have had requests from nearly 20 locations on the East Coast wanting to sell their products.

“It’s very exciting,” she said. “It was a big boost to get that recognition at Kosherfest.”

Then, in December, Zelda’s was awarded another top honor at the AIDS Foundation of Chicago’s “World of Chocolate” event at the Hilton Chicago. Zelda’s caramelized banana chocolate took the “Hot Chocolate Award,” which goes out to the “hottest,” tastiest treat, a major accomplishment when competing against non-kosher products.

Amid all this success, in the past six months, Zelda’s opened a second location for production, down the street from its original retail and production kitchen at 4113 Main St. in Skokie. This year, for the first time ever, they will be able to have a kosher-for-Passover bakery open in their second location. Passover and Purim are the two busiest times of the year, Neiman said. Chicagoans can also find Zelda’s displays at JUF’s Walk With Israel in May and the Taste of Kosher Chicago.

In the past five and a half years, Zelda’s has come a long way from just the glimmer of an idea and a delicious dessert repertoire in Neiman’s kitchen. Today, products made at Zelda’s Sweet Shoppe in Skokie are available at food stores throughout Chicago, including Jewel, Sunset Foods, Garden Fresh and Potash Brothers, and at many locations throughout the East Coast.

But as far and wide as her products may travel, Neiman says she is most proud to know that every package and product says and is “made in Skokie.”

So what’s next for Zelda’s?

“Looking to Zelda’s future, what we’re really looking to do is expand on what we’ve started and spread to the West Coast.”

Learn more about Zelda’s Sweet Shoppe at  www.zeldas.net .

Deborah, searching for the meaning of Jewish life, here and now

It’s pretty safe to say that Deborah Fishman is passionate about Jewish life and Israel. As the Managing Editor of PresenTense Magazine, a grassroots, volunteer effort by hundreds of young Jews spread across four continents, she and her staff are dedicated to tackling the question of what it mean to be Jewish, and how being Jewish can add value to our lives. She is also currently pursuing a Masters in Jewish Professional Studies at the Spertus Institute and a mentor in the Write On for Israel program. She previously served as Program Director for the American Zionist Movement, developing educational materials to promote dialogue on the meaning of Zionism today. A 2006 graduate of Princeton University, Deborah now lives with her husband in Chicago.

So whether you’re interested in finding ways to express your Jewish creativity, have a relative who collects Israeli stamps or you too were seduced by the humanities, Deborah Fishman is a Jew You Should Know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
That would have to be www.presentense.org, of course. I also love to check out recipes at www.recipezaar.com or www.epicurious.com.

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
I would travel back and forth to Israel on a regular basis to visit the PresenTense Jerusalem Hub, as well as my family and friends in Israel. Though Skype and modern technology can do wonders, it’s never the same as being there in person. Besides, El Al flights are pretty much like being in Israel anyway, so you barely lose any time. I might also travel to meet with PresenTense’s contributors in some of the more exotic locales – Kazakhstan, Beijing, London and Budapest. It would definitely bring breakthroughs to the editing process.

3. If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
I might write an autobiography someday – and the movie is never as good as the original book. If the movie were made anyway, Catherine Zeta-Jones could play me. It’d be an action movie.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
My maternal grandfather, Grandpa Burt, and my husband’s paternal grandfather, Saba Ami. Both had passions for Israeli stamps – Grandpa Burt as an American collector, and Saba Ami as an Israeli stamp dealer. Each passed away long before my husband and I ever met, but I nevertheless feel a special bond unites them, and by extension us. I sometimes dream about what it would have been like if they could have met, and would have very much liked to meet Saba Ami. I’d cook, of course. While I do miss the dishes Grandpa Burt used to prepare, I think it’d be unfair to make him do the work – though perhaps I’d incorporate some of the foods I most remember him for: beets, brisket and potato latkes.

5. What's your idea of the perfect day?
I wake up in my apartment in Jerusalem. I walk over to the PresenTense hub, picking up some borekas for breakfast on my way. There I meet with writers, editors and other Jewish innovators sharing a common workspace. Lots of creative ideas are flowing as I’m immersed in a creative and stimulating intellectual environment. In the afternoon I go to Mahane Yehuda and pick out an assortment of exciting and delectably fresh fruits and vegetables for an upcoming Shabbat meal I’m hosting. In the evening my husband and I meet for dinner at a cute little kosher restaurant we have just discovered (and no one else has). Afterwards we go for a romantic walk down to the Kotel.

6. What do you love about what you do?
I love the exchange of ideas with all the people with whom I have the opportunity to work. PresenTense is an open-source network, which means that young Jews from all over the world and all religious/ideological backgrounds can pitch their ideas concerning new trends that affect Jewish life and its meaning in the here and now. Though we are a diverse group, each individual is extraordinarily passionate about his or her unique vision for the Jewish future. Together, we seek to express young Jewish creativity and these cutting-edge ideas, thus working to change the future of the Jewish People. What could be better than that?

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
I entered college as a pre-med physics major. My destined path in life was probably evident when I spent a summer at the Weizmann Institute and, instead of finding the Higgs boson, I founded a literary magazine. However, if I hadn’t been seduced by the humanities, I might have become a doctor.

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
I love hanging out with the PresenTense community in Chicago – whether it be our Creative Zionist Circle meetings, where we work to solve the problems facing the Jewish world; “drunken” brainstorms, where we use our creativity and collective energy to come up with amazing ideas that we then use for the magazine; or cooking together for Shabbat dinners. While it’s incredible to be connected to an international network of people, I don’t believe there’s any technological means of communication that can surpass the support and potential for growth that can be realized in person, in the local community right here in Chicago.

Storahteller Aaron Freeman

Aaron Freeman recently added another line to his already lengthy resume: Torah maven, the traditional storyteller who translated the Hebrew Torah into local language. The comedian, radio personality and author says his latest professional incarnation is a natural progression of his love for all things Jewish. He wants to tell great stories, and there isn’t a better story than Torah, he says.

“We who spend a lot of time reading and interpreting the Torah see it as the most interesting, fascinating stories,” Freeman said on the eve of his first cyber performance in the virtual Second Life environment, where he’s known as Joyous Pomegranate. “And they are even more astonishing the third or fourth time you hear them. The story we thought we were telling three years ago could not be more different from the exact same story we’re telling today. Every year I go, ‘I can’t believe I missed that.’”

Freeman’s Second Life performance was part of Worldwide Storah, a weekend dedicated to the art of Torah translation. Storah is a method of bringing Torah stories alive through simultaneous translation from Hebrew into the vernacular – mostly English among the recent crop of Torah mavens. In addition to the Second Life event, Worldwide Storah hosted events in London, Jerusalem, Miami, New York City, L.A. and eight other cities Feb. 6 through 8.

Amichai Lau-Lavie, an Israeli-born teacher of Judaic literature and a performance artist, revived the lost art of Torah translation and re-imagined it in a twenty-first century way as Storahtelling. The roots of Storahtelling lie in the translations that accompanied traditional synagogue Torah services until the early Middle Ages. For almost two millennia, Hebrew was primarily the language of ritual, and congregations needed translators to convey the meaning of the passages.

Freeman, who was one of the first to adopt Storahtelling techniques, recently became a congregational Torah maven, the official Torah meturgaman (translator in Aramaic), at his congregation, Aitz Hayim Center for Jewish Living in Highland Park.

Storahtellers bring their own skills and preferences to the translation. Freeman, who composes his own translations, treats each portion differently depending on the content. Sometimes he might involve the congregation, asking members to stand in for the pharaoh and Moses, for example. Other times, he takes a more direct storytelling approach, using intonation, facial expressions and gestures to help convey the meaning. Freeman also draws some inspiration from the Torah-based comic strip he created with his wife, artist Sharon Rosenzweig.

For his duties as a Torah maven, Freeman often wears traditional Persian garb in reference to the Persian roots of Torah translation. He couldn’t find a Persian costume in the virtual world, though, so his Second Life avatar – “a fairly athletic black guy” – sported dark blue Moroccan kaftan and trousers.

In his Feb. 8 Second Life ritual, Freeman used a pre-recorded Hebrew version of Parashat Beshalach, which tells about both the parting of the Red Sea and the first gift of manna. He then translated the text of the Torah portion. He guided his avatar using the keyboard and spoke into a microphone mounted on his computer. Although the figurine couldn’t recreate Freeman’s usual highly animated facial expressions, it conveyed some of the story via gestures Freeman assigned to it. Freeman says guiding the avatar is akin to performing a marionette show.



Freeman’s avatar led a Torah service in the cyber environment Second Life Feb. 8, marking the first time a Torah service had been performed in virtual reality

Even when he doesn’t have to guide an avatar, Freeman finds each Storahtelling ritual demanding.
Biblical Hebrew provides a unique challenge: Jewish sages have debated the meaning of certain Hebrew words for centuries, so some interpretation is always necessary.

“Every translation is a commentary,” Freeman says. “There is no such thing as a literal translation of biblical Hebrew.”

Humor and a basic belief in positive outcomes help overcome some of the challenges, Freeman says. An observant Jew who grew up Catholic, Freeman has forged a steadfast connection to Judaism because “Jewish observance ameliorates the worst aspect of American life for me. The consumer culture makes us endlessly aware of what we do not have without counterbalancing it with gratitude for the mind-numbing bounty that we enjoy,” Freeman says. Jewish observance requires the constant expression of gratitude for everything – from a glass of water or a piece of bread to having woken up and being healthy. That makes Freeman “guaranteed to be happy; you can’t be grateful and pissed off at the same time,” he says.

Freeman is also grateful for Fridays. “How can you not love a religion that has a mandatory party every week? For the Jews, eating drinking and partying every Friday is not just a good idea, it’s the law. Got to love that!”

Stacey shares her love-hate relationship with Valentine's Day

We don’t know anything about St. Valentine whose feast day is February 14 other than the fact that he was buried on February 14 at the Via Flaminia north of Rome. How this martyred saint (who might actually be the amalgamation of several martyred guys named Valentine) became the representation of romantic love for most of the Western world is a mystery to me. But because it is effectively a Gentile construct (and they celebrate the June birth of the most famous Member of the Tribe on December 25), we don’t need to ponder the logic overmuch, especially as it is now as secular a day as Thanksgiving.

And a day rife with pressures and pitfalls.

I am a perfect Gemini in many ways, and on no day (other than my birthday) is this more apparent than Valentine’s Day.

Half of me dreads it from the moment the clock strikes January 31, like the tickle in your throat that you know is the harbinger of a truly appalling and lingering head cold. That is the half that is currently single, will receive Valentines only from my parents and grandmother, invites only from other single girls, and will likely spend that most romantic evening with her favorite cadre of back-up boys…Ben, Jerry, and the men of Law and Order.

The other half loves it. That is the half that is a truly hopeful romantic, writes awesome love letters (when she has someone worthy to write them to), is a fan of big gestures and happy endings and extravagant floral arrangements and unexpected gifts and sappy movies and candlelit dinners and breakfast in bed. I even once did a Valentine’s Day segment on the  Rachael Ray Show .

I am therefore equally good and bad when it comes to Valentine’s Day. When I have an object of affection to spend the day with, I am clever and demonstrative and celebratory and fun and unique and very, VERY romantic. When I don’t, I’m the littlest bit snarky and petulant and not unlikely to be found pouting and baking, usually at the same time.

So I get it when I hear people complain that they hate the expectation of romance, being told by the card companies that they have to do something for their sweetie, or that they are lesser-than if they are between sweeties at the moment. But I also get it when I hear people say that there is nothing wrong with being encouraged to be romantic, or to let the pressure of the day push you to make a gesture towards that someone you’ve been maybe dancing around but haven’t gotten the courage to ask out yet.

After the overarching umbrella of romance, the thing most associated with Valentine’s Day is food. Champagne and shiny red boxes of chocolates. Dinners at fancy restaurants or lovingly prepared at home. All the cooking magazines feature cozy menus designed for two, and the inevitable heart-shaped desserts. And, of course, for us unattached  people, Valentines Day is a freebie day where diets go out the window and comfort food isn’t just allowed, it is a moral imperative. So I thought, for this pre-Valentine’s Nosh, I would be true to my Gemini nature and offer something for both ends of the spectrum…

FOR THE UNATTACHED:

First, spend whatever money you would have spent on a gift/card/dinner for a sweetie and spend it on yourself. Have a spa treatment. Buy a new outfit or a fab pair of shoes. Pick one of the things off your Amazon wish list and order that sucker up for yourself! (Or pick one of the things of MY Amazon wish list and send it to me…)

Then figure out the kind of evening you want to have. Take out? Order whatever you love and put it on your best dishes and light a candle. Want to cook for yourself? Try my favorite indulgent dinner for one…

CELERY APPLE SALAD
One celery heart with leaves, sliced on bias ¼ inch thick
One granny smith apple, cored, sliced into ¼ inch thick half moons
1 oz shaved parmagiano reggiano
Juice of half a lemon
2 T extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Toss all ingredients together and alter to taste…if you like more lemon, add more juice, too tart? Add more oil.

RISOTTO A LA STACEY
2 c Caranoli or Arborio rice
10 c chicken stock
2 shallots, chopped
2 cooked chicken breasts, shredded (feel free to use a rotisserie chicken here)
4 artichoke bottoms (preferably fresh) cooked and diced
2 T butter
1 T olive oil
½ c dry white wine or champagne
1 pinch saffron threads
¼ c grated parmagiano reggiano
2 T chopped flat leaf parsley
Zest of one lemon
Salt and pepper to taste

Melt 1 T butter in pan with olive oil. Add shallots and cook till translucent. Add rice and stir until each grain is coated. Add wine and saffron threads and stir till wine is totally absorbed. Add chicken stock one ladle at a time until absorbed, and then add next ladle. Stir continuously. When it begins to take longer for stock to be absorbed, taste rice. You are looking for al dente, not mushy or gummy. When you are getting close to al dente, add the chicken and artichokes to heat through, along with the lemon zest, salt and pepper. When the rice is perfectly cooked, stir in the remaining 1 T butter, the cheese, and the parsley and do a final taste for seasonings. (the leftovers make a killer breakfast, form into patties, lightly dust in flour, and fry till crisp in butter and serve with your eggs.)

For dessert…a pint of ice cream is never a bad idea (although on a day like this, I’d pick up a flavor or two from Caffe Gelato on Division), nor is a package of Mallomars. If you are really feeling indulgent, go online to my gang at www.ricetoriches.com and have them FedEx you your favorite flavor of rice pudding (I like the Category Five Caramel and the Chocolate Hazelnut Bear Hug).

Watch a funny movie or catch up on your Tivo, take a bath, read a book (preferably one of mine, thank you) and remember that tomorrow is February 15 and all the romanticpalooza will be relegated to the 50% off table.

FOR THE COUPLED:

Congrats. I mean that almost without bitterness. I hope you both devote some time on this day to remind each other why you are together, and to make some effort to be romantic, if for no other reason than you are able! And if you are staying home, you might want to try this simple dinner to cook and eat with your sweetie.

HEARTS SALAD
1 pkg. hearts of romaine lettuce
1 pkg. hearts of celery, or the center of two heads of celery, with the leaves
1 can chopped hearts of palm, drained
2 hearts of large steamed artichokes sliced (or 1can quartered artichoke hearts, drained)
3 T white balsamic vinegar
8 T lemon flavored extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

Chop the celery and tear the lettuce into bite sized pieces, and mix with the drained hearts of palm and artichokes. Mix the rest of the ingredients into a quick and easy salad dressing, and toss all together. You can garnish with parmesan curls if you like.

DIJON CHICKEN
2 T butter, softened
1 T Dijon mustard
¼ T salt
¼ t pepper
2 chicken breasts, boneless, skin on
¼ c bread crumbs
¼ c grated pecorino Romano (can substitute grated parmesan)
Olive oil

Mix mustard and butter and coat chicken. Mix bread crumbs and cheese, and roll chicken in coating until completely covered. Put on a lightly greased baking sheet, and sprinkle with olive oil just before cooking. Cook 15 minutes at 375 if thin, 18 minutes if thick.

CREAMY LEMON PASTA
1 lb pasta, preferably linguine or fettucine
2 egg yolks
1 lemon, juice and zest
½ c grated parmesan
2/3 c heavy cream
4 T butter
2 T parsley, chopped (or chives)
salt and pepper to taste

Whisk egg yolks until creamy and slightly lightened in color. Stir in cheese, lemon juice, lemon zest and cream. Cook pasta al dente. Drain pasta and return to pot, off heat. Add butter to pasta and stir until melted and coating all the pasta. Add the sauce and mix well. Taste for salt and pepper. You may add some of the cooking water or more cream if it needs it. Add parsley just before serving, with extra grated cheese on the side. (Yes, this is much more than you will need as a side dish for two people, but you won’t be upset at midnight when you can reheat the leftovers and eat them in bed in one bowl with two forks. I’m not saying, I’m just saying…)

DECADENT DARK CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES WITH VANILLA FROSTING

CUPCAKES
8 T unsalted butter, cubed
2 oz. high quality bittersweet chocolate, (Valrhona, or Callebaut) chopped
½ C Dutch-processed cocoa powder
¾ C all-purpose flour
½ t baking soda
¾ t baking powder
2 large eggs
¾ C sugar
1 t vanilla extract
½ t salt
½ c sour cream

FROSTING
10 T unsalted butter, softened
½ vanilla bean, halved lengthwise
1 ¼ C confectioners sugar, sifted
Pinch salt
½ t vanilla extract
1 T heavy cream

Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position; heat oven to 350 degrees. Line standard-sized muffin pan with baking-cup liners. Combine butter, chocolate, and cocoa in medium heatproof bowl. Set bowl over saucepan containing barely simmering water; heat mixture until butter and chocolate are melted and whisk until smooth and combined. Set aside to cool until just warm to the touch. Whisk flour, baking soda, and baking powder in small bowl to combine. Whisk eggs in second medium bowl to combine; add sugar, vanilla, and salt and whisk until fully incorporated. Add cooled chocolate mixture and whisk until combined. Sift about one-third of flour mixture over chocolate mixture and whisk until combined; whisk in sour cream until combined, then sift remaining flour mixture over and whisk until batter is homogenous and thick. Divide batter evenly among muffin pan cups. Bake until skewer inserted into center of cupcakes comes out clean, 18 to 20 minutes.

Cool cupcakes in muffin pan on wire rack until cool enough to handle, about 15 minutes. Carefully lift each cupcake from muffin pan and set on wire rack. Cool to room temperature before icing, about 30 minutes.

In standing mixer fitted with whisk attachment, beat butter at medium-high speed until smooth, about 20 seconds. Using paring knife, scrape seeds from vanilla bean into butter and beat mixture at medium-high speed to combine, about 15 seconds. Add confectioners' sugar and salt; beat at medium-low speed until most of the sugar is moistened, about 45 seconds. Scrape down bowl and beat at medium speed until mixture is fully combined, about 15 seconds; scrape bowl, add vanilla and heavy cream, and beat at medium speed until incorporated, about 10 seconds, then increase speed to medium-high and beat until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes, scraping down bowl once or twice. (To frost: Mound about 2 tablespoons icing on center of each cupcake. Using small icing spatula or butter knife, spread icing to edge of cupcake, leaving slight mound in center.)

If you need my recommendations of how else to spend your time, you have no imagination.

FOR EVERYONE:

You need a decent cocktail for Valentines Day, and bubbly is always in order. Here is a recipe I developed for a contest for the Mionetto Prosecco company, which everyone I’ve ever made it for seems to think is pretty delish. It’s a happy drink if you’re imbibing alone, and not overly drunk-making if you’re not. And which is even better, the contest is still ongoing and you can vote for me if you like the drink!

1 oz prosecco or champagne (I use Mionetto Brut, because that is the one from the contest)
1 oz premium vodka
1 oz Elderflower Liqueur (St. Germain is my fave, and is available at Sam’s)
½ oz fresh lemon juice
½ oz pineapple juice

OPTIONAL
For rim of glass:
1 T lemon juice
1 T sugar in the raw
1 t grains of paradise, ground  (Whole Foods in the spice section)

For Float:
1 T Prosecco or Champagne (Mionetto Brut again…)

PREPARATION:
Fill shaker with ice, and shake all ingredients well.
Dip rim of martini glass in lemon juice and then in the combined sugar and ground grains of paradise.
Strain cocktail into glass and float 1 T Mionetto Brut on the top for extra fizz.

If you love it…do click here, scroll down to the 6th drink The MIONETINI and vote for me! Send the link to all your friends! The top three vote-getters get a trip for two to NYC and the chance to win $5000. Think of this as your little Valentine to me : )

However you choose to mark the day (or not), I hope it is a good one.

Yours in good taste,
Stacey
www.staceyballis.com

NOSH of the Week: Stay away from those heart-shaped boxes of waxy chocolates. Head over to www.franschocolates.com and order up some of the chocolate filled and dipped figs. Trust me. Luxurious enough to give to a lover, but non-frilly enough to give to a friend.

NOSH Food Reads of the week:

If you’re in love,  Like Water for Chocolate  by Laura Esquival.

If you’re not, try any of the Diane Mott Davidson Culinary Mystery Series.

Dana’s happy feet, on a Hawaiian yoga retreat, blissful yet fleeting

Eight months pregnant with our first child, I traded in the keys of our cool Evanston loft for a Skokie bi-level. It’s practical, it’s convenient and it’s so unimaginative I sometimes turn into my neighbors’ driveway instead of my own. Her violin students knock on our door. His leaves fall on our neglected lawn. The old Jew across the street dies. A new one moves in.

Even though our cloned bi-levels are 2.5 blocks north of the Skokie Eruv, I’ve observed enough serene-looking, shul-going neighbors to develop an acute case of Shabbat envy.

Okay, so maybe they don’t always look serene. Sometimes they look cold. Or hot. Or wet. But the general attitude as observed (imagined, projected) from the comfort of my passing Honda Civic is: I don’t care if there are 352 unread messages in my in box. So what if the grass needs mowing, my to do list is growing, the playoffs are at noon and cat litter is on sale two for one at Costco. It’s Shabbat (for chrissakes). And I have no choice. But to rest.

As someone who Googled “sanitarium” as recently as 10 days ago, I see a certain beauty and wisdom to Shabbat. Abraham Joshua Heschel called it “a palace in time.” My friend Brian said, “It anchors your whole damn week and your whole damn life. You rest. You adjust your frame of mind, your entire being. And it just works.”

Let’s be honest – we could all use a day each week to slow down and reflect and breath.

In other words, God was on to something when He rested on the seventh day. But as an agnostic, Reform, multi-tasking resident of Skokie, I’m not sure I can convince myself not to sow, plough, reap, bind sheaves and/or thresh at 10:10 on Saturday morning. While I have no intention of trapping, flaying, or scraping a deer or any other large mammal this weekend, I’m not sure I have the discipline to turn off my BlackBerry. Or the time.

These days, I say I love you a lot. But I say, C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, COME ON even more. Starting at 7:26 a.m. Monday through Friday, plus dinner time, bath time, bedtime, get-in-the-car-we’re-late-for-Sunday-school time, and random transitions in between. That is, when I’m not tap-tap tapping on my BlackBerry at the stop light, on the toilet, at 3:52 a.m.

Can’t everyone just shut up and leave me the fuck alone. I realize that doesn’t sound very professional. Or motherly. Or nice.

So what are the alternatives? That’s not rhetorical, my friends.

I realize that whining is a fairly unbecoming quality on a 39-year old woman, even if she is sitting on the early train into the city, the day before her deadline, eating a frosted Blueberry pop tart and tap-tap tapping into her BlackBerry this Oy! essay that was never supposed to be written.

I am retiring, I declared after my last Oy! story to anyone who would listen. I need to sleep, I unabashedly whined, downing a large coffee with cream and sugar. (Editor’s note: We would not listen. We continue putting Dana’s name on the schedule because we like her stories—apologies to her family.)

But why retire when you can instead look to Judaism for stress relief? It can be a blog, a midnight project, a multi-part series. It can be a quest. Consider this a plea for suggestions. Get drunk on Manischewitz? Do Rav yoga? Take a walk through the woods on Tu B’Shevat? That’s my new plan.

NEXT: Jewish Meditation. Sit and shut up. It might not sound so Jewish, but meditation was popular among the mystics on the hilltops of Sfat back in the day. The Jewish Healing Network of Chicago hosts Dr. Yonah Klem, the Midwest’s only Jewish Meditation Teacher ordained at Chochmat HaLev in Berkeley. I plan to check it out on March 8, 1–3 at JCFS, 5150 Golf Road in Skokie. Contact Tracey at 847.568.5216 or  JHNC@jcfs.org to register ($15).

Anyone care to join me?

Tracey and Todd tying the knot
Photo credit: Artisan Events, Inc.

Happily ever after

Once upon a time in a land called Chicago, a mutual friend fixed Brooke and Sean up on a blind date. While the two did not fall in love, they became dear friends. Years later, Brooke fixed Sean up with a woman named Cynthia. They fell in love and married. Meanwhile, Brooke met another man named Mike. They, too, fell in love and got married this past summer. And, everyone lived happily ever after.

A Needle in a Haystack

There’s an old Jewish saying that ever since creating the world, God has been making matches, a task more difficult than parting the Red Sea. Every so often special people – like Brooke Mandrea from the story above – assist in the tough task of matchmaking. Brooke is one of the special people who excel at helping singles find their happily-ever-after. She is not a professional matchmaker; she’s simply a champion of love who strives to help others find their shiduchs (matches) out of the goodness of her heart. “It’s considered a great act of chesed, or kindness,” said Rabbi Asher Lopatin, spiritual leader of Anshe Sholom B’nai Israel Congregation in Lakeview. “One of the ultimate acts of kindness is to try to find people someone who will love them and give them companionship.”

In her years of matchmaking, Brooke, who lives in Wicker Park, has set up a whopping seven marriages and even more unmarried couples. Finding one’s match, according to Brooke, is like “finding a needle in a haystack, and if I’m able to be that connection, it’s a mitzvah.” When matching couples, she searches for a meaningful connection between two people. “I never do it where it’s like, ‘Oh, she has a pulse and he has a pulse…” she said. “There has to be something more than they both like line dancing. There have to be shared values, morals or world outlooks.”

She sometimes brainstorms couples in the swimming pool. While she’s swimming laps she’ll envision two people that just seem meant to be, such as Cynthia and Sean Pierce, of West Lakeview, who have been married for three years. Brooke, herself, had been fixed up with Sean on a blind date many years ago. Then, Brooke and Cynthia met years later while volunteering at the Jewish United Fund’s Uptown Cafe.



The happy couple, Cynthia and Sean

“I thought, ‘Oh my God, this is Sean’s other half,’” Brooke said. When she approached Sean about the fix-up, his initial response was, “Not interested.” He was wary because Brooke had set him up on a couple of failed blind dates in the past. Yet, the matchmaker persevered. “I called him repeatedly,” Brooke said, “and told him that the only way to get me to shut up is to go out with her once.”

Six months later, Brooke pointed them out to each other at a music program one Friday night at their synagogue, but there was one catch. Cynthia was on a date with someone else. ‘Sean, I want you to meet her,’ Brooke told him. ‘She’s on a date, but who cares about that?’ The following month – with Cynthia’s date no longer in the picture – Brooke introduced Sean to her at synagogue. On their first date, Cynthia and Sean had a lively political discussion over sushi. In November of 2005, they married, and Brooke signed the ketubah (marriage contract) at their wedding.



Cynthia and Sean on their wedding day
Photo credit: Jason Lazarus



Matchmaker and friend Brooke signing the ketubah at Cynthia and Sean’s wedding

Brooke comes from a family of matchmakers. Her sister, Allison Leviton, has tied Brooke, with seven marriages to her credit. Their mother, Joyce Leviton Asher, passed down to them the shiduch talent because she has set up, as she puts it, “too many couples to count.”

Brooke tries to fix up couples that otherwise would be unlikely to cross paths. She has paired a woman who teaches in the northern suburbs with a downtown trader as well as a couple in their 70s who both frequented the Lyric Opera, but on separate days, and who both audited classes at Northwestern University, but on different campuses. “When else would these couples have met?” Brooke asked.

Todd Fine wondered how he would have met his bride, Tracey Fine, if not for their friend Jennifer Elvey, because he didn’t frequent Jewish social events as Tracey did. Jennifer, of Wilmette, had been trying to introduce her friend Todd, from her gym, to her close friend Tracey for a while. Jennifer had thought the two might hit it off because – among other similarities – they shared a common interest in martial arts and had similar, low-key socializing styles. In 2005, Jennifer attended the Young Leadership Division’s Purim Party at a Chicago nightclub with Tracey, hoping that Todd might attend the party too. She didn’t tell Tracey or Todd that the other might be there, because she wasn’t sure that Todd would come and she didn’t want to make them nervous.

Sure enough, he was there that night and Jennifer introduced them. “I still remember the spark between them. It was amazing,” Jennifer said. Tracey and Todd talked throughout the evening and, at the end of the party, Todd offered Tracey a ride home. “I typically would never accept a ride home from a guy that I met at a bar,” said Tracey. “I literally was like, ‘Are you sure you’re not a murderer?’ Because he was Jen’s friend though, I considered it.”

On their first date, Todd picked Nacional 27 because he knew that Tracey loved Latin food and music. “We made our best attempts to salsa dance together, but we weren’t very good,” Tracey said. Their clumsy dancing didn’t hamper their relationship though. In fact, the couple married in June of 2007. They were so grateful to Jennifer that, at the wedding, Jennifer signed their ketubah. Tracey and Todd, who live in Wicker Park, are expecting twins in March.

Jennifer fixed up a second Chicago Jewish couple, who married in November. “I definitely think that two of the best things I’ve done in my whole life have been introducing these people to each other,” said Jennifer, who herself will stroll down the aisle in June. “It’s just a great feeling to sit at these people’s weddings and know that I played a small role in it.”

Although singles in the religious Jewish community often rely on professional matchmaking, Debbie Wengrow, a West Rogers Park religious Jew, strives to match people in her spare time – and isn’t paid for it. Debbie meets with a group of approximately 10 religious Jewish women on a monthly basis to brainstorm potential mates. Through word of mouth, they gather names of religious Jewish singles looking to be set up. They interview candidates and match people according to religiosity and personality. “[Matchmaking] is not up to us – God has a plan, but we still need people to try to help out,” she said. In four years, Debbie has set up four married couples; the entire group of women is responsible for some 10 marriages to date. They offer their service for free, and similar groups meet in cities throughout the country.

Making Room at the Shabbat Table

In the traditional way of matchmaking, a third party sets two single people up to meet a blind date to see if the sparks fly. Another way to match people is to arrange social gatherings for a bunch of friends and – with a little luck and beshert (destiny) – who knows which pairs might emerge? Michelle Lawner Whitesman has introduced more than five couples in her hometown of Kansas City and in her adopted home of Chicago. Dating back to her sweet sixteen in Kansas, couples have been meeting one another at her parties. Three years ago, she introduced a couple at her March Madness get-together.

In an age of impersonal internet dating, what’s the harm in a set-up by a friend? asks Michelle. “It makes it more personal when a friend who knows you well thinks of people for you,” she said. “The more people you have looking for someone for you, the greater the chance you have of meeting the right person.”



Michelle Lawner Whitesman and Jennifer Elvey, close friends, act as matchmakers for their friends

Michelle found her own match – Louie – whom she married in November. Their union has energized them to help their friends find love. “When you’re happy, you want those around you to find love and be happy,” she said. “My husband also set up a couple who married last year. He has taken on looking for matches for our friends too. Now it’s like a tag team effort.”

Michelle and Louie frequently invite their friends for Shabbat dinner at their new home in downtown Chicago. While their motivation for Shabbat is about forging community and celebrating a Jewish ritual, if two of their friends should happen to meet, that would be the icing on the cake.

Another popular Shabbat dinner table in the city is at the Lakeview home of Rabbi Lopatin and his wife, Rachel Tessler Lopatin. They, too, invite people, often singles, to their home just about every Friday night as a way to share Shabbat and build community – and perhaps create some love stories along the way. “Sometimes, people meet at our table and then meet again at a Federation event or shul or running in the park and say, ‘Oh, I met you at the Lopatins,’” said Rachel, who also does matchmaking for the Jewish singles site “Saw You at Sinai.” “We try to widen the pool for people to meet each other. I don’t know that we have any great insight as to who would be good for whom, but it’s more that we hope [to increase the odds] that people can meet each other.”

As far as she knows, three marriages have resulted from introductions at their Shabbat table, plus Rachel introduced another couple at synagogue. Rachel sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night thinking about a potential pairing. Her thought process focuses on personality, observance level and future goals. “I’m motivated by this mitzvah,” she said. “It’s painful to hear that people want something and are having a hard time getting that. If I can be helpful in that, I want to be.”

Six Degrees

And in the game of Jewish six degrees – or fewer – of separation that makes this story come full circle, Rachel was the matchmaker who fixed up Brooke on that date with Sean, who later married Brooke’s friend Cynthia. “If it hadn’t been for Rachel introducing Sean to Brooke,” Cynthia said, “then the two of us wouldn’t be together.”

Pam Sherman, at your service

Chicago Native Pam Sherman spent nearly a decade working for Chicago’s top advertising firms. Though she loved her work, she spent many late nights in her office wondering how she was going to get all of her errands done and still be able to enjoy what little free time her job afforded her – if only the dry cleaners were open at midnight when she got off work!  She started talking to other working professionals in the city with similar concerns and realized she was not alone. Thus, an idea was born and Chicago Anytime Assistants was formed in 2008. She lives in Wicker Park with her husband, Steve, and their dog, Cheeto.

So whether you sometimes wish you had a personal assistant to run your errands, love eBay or have ever tried to find your Beshert on JDate, Pam Sherman is a Jew You Should Know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
Ooh, that’s so tough! There are so many. TMZ and YouTube are great ways to kill 60-seconds. But my favorite site is eBay. I could go on and on about the amazing finds I’ve gotten. Where else can you get last-minute tickets to a concert, iPod accessories and dog boots all in the same place?

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
If that were the case I probably would have no use for a home. I’d just hop from place to place. I studied in Luxembourg in college and had the opportunity to travel to a different European city every weekend for a semester. I really believe travel can change your life.

3. If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
Well, people have told me that I look like Meryl Streep, and I don't know what to think about that because I went through a lot of pain so that my nose doesn’t look like hers... if you know what I mean. But she's an amazing actress, so I'm game!

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
Adam Sandler and Barack Obama – I wonder how they’d get along? Hopefully they wouldn’t mind if I ordered take-out…

5. What's your idea of the perfect day?
I wake up without an alarm clock. My hubby, dog and I walk to Jerry’s sandwich shop for lunch and during the walk I don’t wear sunscreen and miraculously don’t get sunburned. We skip the gym but burn off the same amount of calories just from having fun. We ride bikes, get ice cream cones and grill outside on our deck for dinner. The phone never rings and I don’t get tempted by the red blinking light on my Blackberry. I eat a second ice cream cone.

6. What do you love about what you do?
I know how lucky I am. I invented my dream job when I created Chicago Anytime Assistants, a personal assistant service for the busy Chicagoan. Strange as it might seem, I have always had a 'talent' for running errands, if that's possible, and I actually like doing them! It's always a great day at work when we can get our clients a discount they didn't know about, or a refund on something they didn't know they could return! That's our M.O.! At the end of the day, my job is to enhance clients’ lives, one errand at a time.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
This is my dream job so I hope I can hold onto it for awhile!

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
The best Jewish thing I ever did was give JDate a try... that’s how I met my hubby!

Elliot gets ready for another concert with the Oakley Street Cello Ensemble

I literally fell off my chair one day while playing duets with my friend and fellow cellist, Elliot Mandel. The floor was slippery; my chair slid back, my bum hit the floor all in a split second. But I saved my cello – held high above my head – my instincts kicked in and I saved my baby. Elliot was very gracious about it, laughing along with me while I giggled hysterically on the floor. But this story isn’t about my life long love affair with my cello (though it kind of is), this is about Elliot, his cello and the Oakley Street Cello Ensemble – a group I recently heard for the second time at Bill’s Blues Bar in Evanston.

Growing up in Glen Ellyn, Elliot was introduced to the cello in second grade, though he says, “It was never something I intended on doing.” A string teacher came to his school and didn’t see his hand raised for the violin. By the time she noticed him, she was on to the cello. Being the laid back guy that he is, he said, “Okay, I’ll try it.”

Since that fateful day, Elliot has carted his cello to the Suzuki Institute in Stevens Point, WI, to college at Bradley University, on orchestra tours to Colorado Springs, Ireland, England and Denmark, to the Old Town School of Folk Music every Monday and to Oakley rehearsals every Wednesday night. One Oakley member graciously moves all of her living room furniture each week to make room for rehearsals because they take up so much space.



The packed crowd at Bill’s Blues Bar – the Oakleys are a hit

The Oakley Street Cello Ensemble is a group of 12 cellists – I think that is enough to constitute a cello choir – who play a range of music from classical to pop, folk songs to Apocalyptica. The varied selection is something you’re not going to get in most chamber groups, and that’s part of the reason Elliot joined up last year.

There is an understanding, or a culture among cellists that Elliot and I both agree on but cannot completely define. It is sort of a collaborative, nonjudgmental, noncompetitive culture. Not that cellists don’t fight for first chair, it’s just not in the same to-the-death way as say, violinists. For example, I never once saw a cellist sneaking up to practice rooms listening to other cellists and then making snide remarks about their playing. Plus, we cellists understand what it takes to lug a heavy instrument across Europe or on the el.

This feeling of camaraderie can be found among the Oakleys, whose players have assorted degrees of experience. Without the goal of being professional musicians, the group is made up of players of different ages, backgrounds and musical tastes – basically, these are people that work well together and have a lot of fun. While Elliot’s favorite piece from the Evanston concert was the second movement of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 7 (I couldn’t agree more), someone else’s was probably “Here Comes the Sun,” the Beatles classic by George Harrison.

This culture was central to Elliot’s experience playing music at Bradley. Majoring in English, he didn’t want to commit to a career in something he found so enjoyable: “That track becomes your life. I don’t have that competitive thing in me.” Elliot’s professional, English major self now works as a Program Coordinator at the American Library Association.

While in school and playing with the Bradley Chamber Orchestra, Elliot got to play some of his favorite composers – Bach, Beethoven, and Shostakovich – and travel to Europe, playing concerts in Cathedrals that were built at the time some of the music they performed was being written. This rich sense of history brings deeper meaning to the music. “I find a certain spiritualism in music which in some ways might be considered a religious experience – both things are hard to define concretely,” Elliot says.

Music also fosters community, whether it is part of a religious or spiritual experience, a group of cellists forming the Oakleys, or attending a concert at Orchestra Hall or Phyllis’ Musical Inn. Another “C” word to add to the cello culture definition that I can’t quite put my finger on.



Cello close-up at the Oakley concert

While all this kumbaya crap is mostly true, it is by no means the complete picture. Cellists can also be snarky and sarcastic. Elliot told me about a master class he attended once where the instructor coined the term “cello chauvinism,” defining that as “the supreme belief that cellos are superior to all other instruments.” I can’t say I disagree with that. The resonant sound of the cello is closest to the timbre of the human voice. It can work its way into your heart, thoroughly seeping under your skin.

In keeping with the collaborative culture of cellists (or in my own personal quest for solidarity), I asked Elliot if he had ever fallen off his chair while playing his cello.
His straight-faced response: “No, but I knew a girl who did once.”
I got a little excited: “Someone other than me?”
Then him: “No.”

The Oakley Street Cello Ensemble is now selecting pieces for their next concert. Stay tuned to the events page for details.

How they schwarma in Israel

After arriving home from a 10-day visit to Israel on January 2, I declared to all who would listen that I would never eat falafel again. Fewer than three weeks later, while thumbing through a coupon book, I saw an ad for Mizrahi Grill, and was overcome with a craving for deep-fried chickpea balls. I grabbed my husband, ripped out the coupon and headed to Highland Park.

Mizrahi Grill is a Kosher meat restaurant tucked into a large strip mall but, despite the generic exterior, the restaurant was inviting, packed with families, and had a casual, boisterous atmosphere. The menu, handwritten on a chalkboard, offered classic Israeli dishes. We placed our order at the counter, where I tried to understand the line cooks’ Hebrew conversation, and waited for a table to open up.

Once we were seated, a waiter brought over three small tasting dishes, a beet salad, turnips and garlic chips, my second reminder (after the Hebrew) of my recent stay in Israel, where endless salads streamed out of the kitchen and onto my table, whether or not I wanted them. The extra dishes were a nice touch in a place that felt like a fast-food joint.

We started with the white bean soup, one of a rotating list of homemade soups. It was quite hearty, with lots of veggies, and the portion was very big (for $4, I suppose I should have known it would be a lot of soup). My bowl needed just a little help in the salt and pepper department, but was otherwise pretty good.

The appetizer combo came next, with eight falafel balls, four cigars and two kubeh. Clearly Israeli appetizer combos don’t vary much from their American counterparts—the only difference being the particular items that get a trip to the deep fryer. The cigars (rolled, stuffed and fried phyllo dough) were crispy, and the filling was tasty, though we couldn’t really identify what it was. The kubeh (fried dough filled with ground beef and pine nuts) were very aromatic, taking me back to the spice merchants of Machane Yehuda, Jerusalem’s bustling, colorful outdoor market.

The falafels were a very appetizing golden brown, perfectly crisped on the outside, soft on the inside. They were a bit blander than the many, many falafels I enjoyed while strolling down Ben Yehuda Street, but the texture and crunch were perfect. Joe ate five before I even finished one.

I finished off my meal with a huge plate of hummus and pita, while Joe raved about his schwarma sandwich. The enormous pita was stuffed to the brim with turkey and lamb meat, plus an array of toppings including pickles, Israeli salad, tahini and chips (French fries), just like I remembered. The sandwich was a bit pricy at $8, but seemingly well worth it.

The pita, baked on site, was soft, chewy and delicious. The enormous plate of hummus, topped with olive oil, a dollop of tahini and herbs, plus about eight small pitas was $6. While the portion was generous, the hummus itself lacked zing.

Several meat dishes round out the menu, including various kabobs, skirt steak, a mixed grill and schnitzel. Sandwiches range from $6-$12, and entrees, with choice of two salads and a side dish, run from $15-$25. The entrée pricing seems a bit steep, but the portions are easily large enough to share.

We left the restaurant happy and very full, Joe still marveling about the French fries inside of his sandwich, while I chattered about all of the things I did on my trip (again). On the ride home, I found the coupon in my jacket pocket. Forgetting to use it seems like perfect excuse to feed my next Israeli food craving–I definitely want to try that schwarma!

Karen, getting some Mom-practice in thanks to her friend — a REAL supermom juggling her career, two kids both under age 2, and her husband — a Rabbi

For years, my breasts had one great superpower: the ability to attract men faster than the speed of light in a singles bar. In a couple of weeks, my supersized breasts will have different superpowers: the ability to feed a crying infant faster than a speeding bullet, repelling men and women at the sight.

It’s a bit disturbing to realize that my breasts are on the verge of becoming human kryptonite, about to become objects of disdain rather than lust. And it’s something that I am grasping to understand.

It’s completely ironic that, while our society readily accepts visuals of women’s breasts on magazine covers and in movies, when it comes to breastfeeding, the opposite is true. We’ll stare at Pamela Anderson’s cleavage on Baywatch, but if she was breastfeeding, we’d probably look everywhere but — at her eyes, the ceiling — as she was nursing her child.

And there are people who are down-right outraged at the prospect of a woman breastfeeding in public. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that formula companies and doctors had “civilized society” convinced that breastfeeding was archaic. My own mother, who bottle fed both my sister and me, isn’t completely down with the idea of me breastfeeding.

Countless numbers of women have received spiteful remarks from strangers (men and women) while breastfeeding in public, some women even asked to leave malls, restaurants, and libraries. Women are often “encouraged” to breastfeed in ‘nursing lounge areas’ located in the women’s bathroom. Think about this: would you eat your lunch in the bathroom?

So, apparently, when feeding my child, my breasts should have the superpower of being invisible too.

With that said, I can understand why many people are uncomfortable when a woman breastfeeds in public view. Let’s face it: we’re not talking about legs or an elbow here. We’re talking about a nipple, which — except maybe for porn stars and Janet Jackson — is a private part of a woman’s body. Or, at least it was for me until it suddenly, upon achieving milk-bearing capacity, became “communal property”.

‘Caring individuals’ — who I like to refer to as Breast Nazis — believe that they have the right to publically denounce any woman who does not breastfeed because, in their minds, she is harming her child, and therefore society.

More than one of my friends has been reduced to tears by vicious comments made by Breast Nazis about how they are ‘bad mothers’ for choosing not to breast feed. Not that it is anyone’s business, but many women have problems with breastfeeding that cannot be resolved, leaving them to feel as if somehow they are inadequate mothers. These comments just rub salt into open wounds. The most outrageous example I can think of happened when my friend Jen adopted her son. A Breast Nazi insisted that, if Jen truly cared about her son, Jen would employ “certain techniques” to develop the capacity to breastfeed him.

I’d like to employ some techniques of my own on these so-called ‘concerned citizens.’

All I know is this: women’s breasts are both functional and sexual, and until recently, society has only emphasized the latter role, and even then, preferring to inundate the public with unrealistic, plastic versions of what women’s breasts should be. So can we really expect total acceptance of a natural act, when society accepts nothing natural about our bodies?

And, while I’m sure I will catch hell for this remark (I already have from some friends), there are — in my opinion — some instances where breastfeeding perhaps isn’t appropriate. For example:

During a friend’s wedding, as she and her Beshert exchanged vows underneath the chuppah, I heard a loud slurping noise, like someone polishing off a Big Gulp. Curious, I — along with many others — turned my head to the left to see one of the guests nursing her one-year-old son (no privacy shield or blanket either). I found this completely disrespectful: to my friend whose wedding should have been the center of attention, to the sanctity of the ceremony, and to my own eyes which I thought I would have to gouge out at the sight. (I should mention, this woman — who I knew well — was very “militant” about her right to breastfeed, thus I suspect her motivations went beyond mere necessity.)

When I relayed this story to another friend, she rose in defense of the woman, asking me “So, she should have missed the ceremony?”

Without hesitation, I replied “Yes, she should have.” And then I started to think about it. I don’t know how I would answer her question now.

I expect that, as I begin breastfeeding, I will encounter disapproving glances and remarks. And, despite my belief it’s a women’s right to breastfeed however she chooses, I will most likely be very private about it, keeping my breasts out of public view. Maybe I’ll eat these words later, but I still need to relate to my breasts as a sexual — if also purposeful — part of my body. I might be a mom, married, and in my 30s, but I that doesn’t mean I want to surrender the super-power of feeling attractive.

Of course, I’m looking forward to acquiring other superpowers that come with being a mom. Like the power of being able to fold fitted bed sheets into a neat square. I’ve always wondered how my mom did that.

No matter who your partner is, it’s important to get yourself tested for genetic disorders

It’s easy to look in the mirror and see your aunt Sophie’s hair or your uncle Archie’s nose. But there are other traits you could have inherited from your family that may not be so obvious — luckily, there’s lots of information available about Jewish genetic disorders and tests to help you figure out what you might be dealing with. Getting tested is an important part of taking care of your health, and is especially important if you are considering having children.

You’ve probably heard of Tay-Sachs disease, an enzyme deficiency which results in progressive brain deterioration and shortened lifespan. And perhaps you’re also familiar with cystic fibrosis, which causes the body to produce thick, sticky mucus that causes problems in the digestive system and lungs. But there are at least 11 Jewish genetic disorders for which testing is available.

Why You Should Get Tested

Getting tested is important even if you don’t have a family history. These disorders are recessive, so in order to have an affected child, both parents must be carriers. There could be a long history of carriers in your family that no one knows about, because so far, none of these carriers have had children with other carriers. And carriers are healthy, so the only way to find out if you are one, before having an affected child, is to be tested.

If your parents were tested back in the 1970s, that’s great. But, like most technologies from the 1970s, genetic testing has come a long, long way. Most of today’s tests have only been available for 10-15 years.

And having a non-Ashkenazi  partner won’t get you out of it either. Whether your partner is Sephardic, a convert, or just not Jewish, there is still a risk of having a child with one of these disorders. Individuals without Ashkenazi ancestry can be carriers, though it is less likely. If you’re the ethnically Ashkenazi partner in a mixed relationship, you should consider getting tested first. Then, if you’re a carrier, your partner can get screened for all the possible mutations that could cause that particular disorder.



Want to know more? Schedule a counseling session with a genetic counselor

Take Control

Despite her best intentions, your doctor might not tell you about these tests. She may not know you’re planning on starting a family soon, or that you’re Ashkenazi. But having this information before you start trying to conceive allows you to have the widest range of reproductive options. Be proactive and ask your doctor for genetic testing. Be aware, however, that:

-  Screening is very expensive, usually between $3,000-$4,000! And your insurance company may not cover this testing in full, if at all.

-  Screening entails just a simple blood test. After your screening, be sure to keep your results so that you know what you were tested for in case new tests become available.

-  Not all communities offer affordable screening options — but you’re in luck! You can get screened in Chicago through the JUF. Through a grant from the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago, you can get screened by the Chicago Center for Jewish Genetic Disorders for only $90. Visit the Center for upcoming screening dates and program information.

The Chicago Center for Jewish Genetic Disorders is a cooperative effort of the Jewish United Fund/Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago and Children’s Memorial Hospital. The Center is a support foundation of the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago and is funded in part by the Michael Reese Health Trust.

Rachel Sacks is the Community Outreach Coordinator for the Chicago Center for Jewish Genetic Disorders, which provides public and professional education about Jewish genetic disorders and genetic mutations associated with hereditary cancers. Read more about the Center at  www.jewishgeneticscenter.org .

Avicado and Dannyberry, lighting the light

Of 761 things to do in Denver last Friday night, Josephine and the Mousepeople's live show at the Lion’s Lair was the Editor’s Choice on Metromix. But long before this electro-pop duo was creating a buzz on the Denver music scene, they were two kids finding their voices in the Chicago Orthodox community. Back then on Friday nights, Avi Sherbill and Danny Shyman were not performing She Needs Fire – they were chanting the kiddush.

Avi and Danny became friends as fifth graders at Hillel Torah in the 90s, but drifted apart in their teens and didn’t come together musically until a few years ago. At different points along the way, Danny could have been the 13 year old in the bunk next to yours at Camp Ramah, picking up a guitar for the first time. Avi, the youngest son of a rabbi, could have been the kid in the corner studying Torah up to 12 hours a day. Did anyone predict that one day they’d be jammin’ in a land of “Levi’s jeans and cowboys” where kosher restaurants and kippah sightings are few and far between?

While Colorado may be short on Jews, it’s long on Bluegrass, which was reason enough for Danny to move out there. The Josephine and the Mousepeople (J&MP) flame was lit when Danny came home for a visit and ended up spending the week in the bathroom with his old childhood friend, recording music. And the rest is history.



Sure you can have an epiphany in the bathroom – ask Avi

They’ve still got day jobs. They still do their own laundry. They still chuckle when asked what they’d want to be if they weren’t musicians. But during their debut year, J&MP landed high on lists like Top 25 Denver Recordings of 2008 and 10 Denver Acts on the Rise. Music critics and fans alike are talking about their “gorgeous and slightly unorthodox” music, their “emotionally raw” vocals, their “powerfully energetic” performances. And they’ve inspired more than a few people to go back and read the Kafka short story whose name they bear.

At just 23, Avi and Danny are breaking the mold, religiously and musically. Not in a chest-pounding, lapel-ripping, rule-snubbing way. But in a way that has absorbed the beauty and compassion and rhythms of the worlds in which they have walked, while remaining true to themselves.

Oy: So how would you describe your music to someone like me who had to look up “ep” on Wikipedia to get excited about the fact that you will be releasing one this year?
J&MP: We can’t apply a specific genre since we’re in the process of creating a sound, but it’s music for people who are yearning. In the same way that a Beatles song displays the heart of a person, electronic music displays the heart of a building or a city street or a lamppost. We are trying to connect those two things together, we are trying to create a sonical landscape, we are trying to talk about things that haven’t been talked about and it is taking a minute.

Oy: How have your Chicago Jewish roots influenced your music?
Danny: More than Judaism, my parents influenced my music. They showed me the kind of love that I did nothing to deserve. I relate to them now through this, even though at times it was hard to see as a kid. They never said, “Okay, we gave him what was necessary for him to survive, now we are done.” They let me breathe as an individual. I use that as my gold standard in terms of what is possible between people. And while I don't approach music as a religion, it helps me constantly search for something I can't just hold in my hand. I think that, similar to Judaism, with music I can never be content or stagnate. I'm just looking to keep making progress through growth.
Avi: It’s important to be firm with who you are as a response to what you were. I wouldn’t be anything without my mom and dad and how I grew up. Both Judaism and music are all-embracing forms. It’s not like on the weekend I’m a Jew, or on the weekend, I do music. They are both there all the time – my soul is Jewish. Both Judaism and music are very much about attention to detail. Within a regimented routine, you can have bursts of inspiration. People like me who chase whatever is energizing need something to hone in on. And in Chasidic music, there is such an attention to the spirit of the music rather than the sound – I don’t understand music as much sonically as I do spiritually.



J&MP bringing it home at a Sherbill family wedding. (Afterall, who doesn’t love simcha music?)

Oy: I see themes of polarity and balance in your music and your lives. Can you speak to that?
Avi: With music, you start at a very isolated point and then present it to a community of people. With Judaism, it’s the inverse; you experience everything communally – including prayer – and it influences your personal life. My teachers taught me to choose wisely what you bring to the table and choose to speak about. It’s the opposite in American music, where pain is a starting point and it’s cool to talk about, I’m a little guy from Nebraska and I don’t have much of a thing going. Other cultures don’t have time to be sad when they’re doing their music, it’s one of the few times they can let loose the spirit. I feel both the pain of American life and the exuberance of the art of existing. If you’re cold, do you choose to put on a coat or light a fire in a stove? With music, I feel this ability to not only warm myself up, but to warm others up as well. And on another level, Danny is my balance. I’ll go out there and he’ll bring me back, especially musically. He’s a phenomenal producer, with a grasp of what is approachable. I try to go after ideas that I feel in my body or things I hear on the street. Sometimes it takes a minute to happen musically but Danny has a very concrete way of getting that done. And he gives me room to breathe.
Danny: Avi has a draw about his personality, especially when he sings, that’s hard to wrap your head around. We write a lot together, but it is beyond that his creativity inspires me. If he comes up with something really moving and impressive, I feel like I need to match him – there are healthy undertones of competition.

Keep up with Josephine & the Mousepeople on MySpace at  www.myspace.com/josephineandthemousepeople .

Brad Rubin, serving up a hearty meal of Jewish culture at Eleven City Diner
Photo Credit: Helen Maureen Cooper

Brad Rubin grew up on Jewish delis and diners. In his lifetime, Rubin has traveled by car and motorcycle across America — all 50 states — always stopping for a bite at diners and delis along the way. Rubin, originally from Chicago’s northern suburbs and now a South Loop resident, worked at 24 restaurants in 23 years, including Chicago hotspots MK, SushiSamba Rio and Bin 36. Recently, he broke out of fine dining to return to his culinary roots. In 2006, he opened Eleven City Diner, a deli/diner hybrid named for the street the restaurant sits on in the South Loop. The diner is Rubin’s way of tipping his hat to the old school diners that are disappearing from Chicago’s street corners.

Eleven City Diner serves up a huge menu of favorites, including Chicago-centric dishes like “The “Springer,” a corned beef and pastrami sandwich and Jeff Garlin’s Veggie Cob. Rubin’s business is a family affair — his parents, beloved by Eleven City regulars, help out at the diner on weekends and holidays. Patrons dub his mother “The Lollipop Lady,” because she’s famous for handing out multi-colored lollipops to the restaurant’s youngest diners. And Rubin’s father is the resident soda jerk, who awards members of the “clean plate club” with gold stars.

So whether you’re nostalgic for the diners of yesterday, are impressed by nice Jewish boys who call their mothers, or you just really love a big pastrami sandwich, Brad Rubin is a Jew you should know!

1. What is your favorite blog or website?
Favorite? Tough one. I, of course, love Heeb.com  (Heeb named Rubin in its top “Heeb 100” in the food category.) I also like this cat named David Sax from www.savethedeli.com, a site devoted to the preservation of the Jewish delicatessen. I love his ideas and why he is doing what he is doing. Plus, he is so damn funny.

2. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
I would buy a time machine and travel back in time…

3. If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
Philip Seymour Hoffman or Natalie Portman.

4. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
a) With the Poet Rumi and the woman I love.
b) In front of the large second story bay windows in this beautifully strange guesthouse in Fez, Morocco.
c) Whatever they were cooking up that day.

5. What's your idea of the perfect day?
In this order: Waking up early with the sun, a hard workout, a quick shfitz, exploring and disappearing in a chaotic Asian fish market somewhere far away, eating something green and light, a power nap, a good steam, a great piece of fish for dinner at the perfect joint, a nice walk to walk it off, a brilliant film, a stop off at the Fudge Pot for dessert, a late night piano bar for no more than two tunes…sleep.

6. What do you love about what you do?
I’m Jewish—I love to entertain, I love to eat, I love to feed people, and…oh yeah… I love to make shekels. I do realize how fortunate I am to be in love with what I do.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
I have had no fewer than 42 different jobs in my young 39 years.  I hope I keep evolving and reinventing myself. What next? This one has some legs on it still…

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
Let’s see. I go to Manny’s on Jefferson on a Saturday afternoon or hit Chinatown and a movie on Christmas. I love to go to the Spertus for a lecture and then over to see Clara at Russian Tea Time. And of course, I call my mother. I work seven days a week and have little time outside my work to enjoy many things. Being Jewish, for me, is so deeply and strongly attached to the culture itself. I’m in a Jewish diner/delicatessen everyday. I see the grandparents taking in their grandchildren for a lunch of matzoh balls and egg salad sandwiches and a lollipop before heading out the door. I have heard stories from Holocaust survivors while standing by the coffee makers, I see families meet to get their nosh on for breaking the fast, birthdays, Rosh Hashanah and even Christmas (when there is nowhere else to go).  I get to see the old school machers and snow birds slowly shuffle in with big smiles and stories to tell every day. I am honored they come here. The feeling I get from “hosting” all this everyday is wonderful.  I love the “Jewish-ness” of it all. The culture so many of us grew up with is a big part of my heart.  I guess you could say I “Jew” everyday.

Webstein’s Dictionary: Yiddishizing your life, one word at a time

In October 2007, Joel Stein was sitting in the parking lot in Old Orchard, waiting. Alone in the car, he started to laugh — the word sadorachmonesism had popped into his head. Using the root word rachmones (pity, sympathy) he created a new noun:

sadorachmonesism

Defined as: the act of your mother telling you that you look “a little thick” in your new dress, then handing you her credit card to go buy something “more flattering.”

He thought the word would make a funny t-shirt and mentioned it to his friend Linda Cassidy, a designer who works for his family’s office furniture business — where he spends his workdays. “Linda said she thought I could come up with a whole book and these ideas just stated pouring out of me,” says Stein. Working on nights and weekends, and running ideas by his wife, Adele, and his friends, Stein came up with enough new words for a dictionary and returned to Cassidy for illustrations.

Stein’s interest in Yiddish comes from growing up on the North Shore with a father from Rogers Park. He says there was always little Yiddish being used at family gatherings. “My mom, who converted when she married my father, really picked it up. Yiddish is such a nuanced language and while I’m by no means a scholar, I appreciate that it’s very clever and conveys a very funny side of our culture,” Stein says.



An excerpt from Webstein’s Dictionary

Thinking in Yiddish

“Since I began writing the book, almost every Yiddish word is in my head. It’s funniest to me when non-Jews use Yiddish. It was the most influential language in the 20th century to American English — Spanish might be taking over now. People don’t always recognize that some expressions like, “Joe schmo,” are Yiddish.”

Stein himself had a funny moment with his non-Jewish sister-in-law and the phrase Bissell blower, n., root, bissell: a little, which Stein defines as: “a woman who tells the world of your lackluster performance in bed.”

“Right out loud in front of my Catholic in-laws she stopped at that one and said, ‘I don’t get it.’ I couldn’t have turned a brighter shade of red — it was a very funny moment,” Stein says.

Stein seems to enjoy a good double entndre and has a few more book ideas kicking around in his head, but he admits that Webstein’s Dictionary might be the most mainstream. “One is Erroritca, like the word error. It’s about things people think are hot and sexy, but really aren’t.”

For now, Stein is pleased with the response he’s gotten to Webstein’s and enjoying helping people Yiddish-ize their lives via the book and his blog. When he’s not thinking up new plays on words, he’s hanging out with his wife, three children and two dogs in Evanston.



The Yiddishizer himself, with his family on Halloween

You can find Webstein’s Dictionary at numerous locations around the city, including Spertus and online at Pop Judaica.

Annice Moses and Michael Rosenthal, with help from friends and neighbors, took Englewood teenagers on a trip to Washington D.C. There they met with some of the nation's leaders and saw the sights. 

Some people talk about making the world a better place. Other people just do it, in their own unassuming way. For Annice Moses and Mike Rosenthal, this means taking I-94 from their home in Glencoe and investing their time, hearts and money in their adopted community, Englewood. In a neighborhood where liquor stores double as food stores and fresh produce is scarce, Mike’s passion is the community garden. And last March, inspired by a story in  People magazine, Annice rounded up 30 high school kids – most of whom had never left Englewood – and boarded a plane to DC on a whirlwind advocacy mission. Three days later, Annice and Mike flew home with 30 tired teens who now understood that some people talk about making the world a better place, and others just do it.

So whether you put your passions to action, your dogs walk you, or you just wish for a good night’s sleep, Annice Moses and Mike Rosenthal are Jews You Should Know.

1. What do you love about what you do?
Annice: I have a master’s in counseling and used to work with teens at Response Center. After our first son was born, I decided to be a stay-at-home mom. Our brood has now grown to include – in order of acquisition: Sidney Oy (our yellow lab/Weimaraner mix), Milo (our black lab), BJ (age 7), Ryder (age 5), and Phoenix (age 3). In the spring, we are adopting a daughter from Ethiopia. (And how do the boys feel about that? They vacillate between being excited and suggesting we name her Poo Poo Head, depending on the day.) This is what I’ve always wanted – a big family, lots of noise and chaos, volunteer time, and the opportunity to infuse hippie, vegetarian, liberal views on unsuspecting dependents.
Mike: I help run Rosenthal Manufacturing, my family's business. As an engineer, I design and build custom machinery from start to finish. There is satisfaction in seeing something on paper come to life and be useful for someone else. And I love the flexibility it gives me to pursue my other passions – my family, biking, hiking, nonprofit work like Imagine Englewood If.
Annice: In other words, our sons love playing in piles of dirt. Whether that dirt is in our suburban backyard or in the serenity of the Englewood community garden, the boys don’t notice and don’t care. And we love that. Walking into the Holocaust Memorial Museum in DC, a teen from Englewood told me he had never met a Jew besides “that guy on South Park.” I was like, that’s not a guy – that’s a cartoon. Walking out of the Holocaust Museum, the teens were so angered by the senseless persecution Jews faced because they were different, and it was an experience they, as African-Americans, could relate to.  That’s powerful, too.

2. What is your favorite blog or website?
Annice: Mike says he’s a “Facebook widower” if that gives you a clue.  All 266 of my bestest friends ever are on there. Needless to say, Mike is not my Facebook friend.
Mike: Ha’aretz – my favorite news source. It's how I look up stuff about Israel.

3. If time and money were limitless, where would you travel?
Annice: Australia, if for nothing else, to be surrounded by that excellent accent all day (although as a vegetarian, the food options might be a slim). Mike wanted to honeymoon in Africa, but at the time I was afraid to camp out with wild animals – I'm much more of a trooper these days.
Mike: I would take my family on a boat trip up the Amazon River – one of the last places untouched by human hands.

4. If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
Annice: Lauren Ambrose (Claire from  Six Feet Under ).
Mike: Benji – the dog.
Annice: He says it’s because he’s soft and cuddly, but in reality, Benji is the only pop culture icon Mike can name.

5. If you could have a meal with any two people, living or dead, famous or not, who would they be? Where would you eat or what would you serve?
Annice: It’s hard to top the backyard barbeque when we first met each other and, of course, both opted for the veggie burger. We never let the fact that I was an ETHS grad and he was a New Trier grad get in our way.
Mike: Okay, we admit, we’re just stumped by this question.

6. What's your idea of the perfect day?
Annice: Waking up from a good night’s sleep, mint-green tea in my cup, my family buzzing around me happily, getting in a workout and some semi-trashy reality TV after the kids are sleeping, a bath and to bed! (So maybe a beer or glass of wine is in there somewhere.)
Mike: Waking up from a good night’s sleep, going on a family adventure where we all learn something new, a peaceful hike, and a nice chocolate dessert followed by dinner (dessert is always better when it's first) where no one complains about what they are eating and everyone goes to bed without a fuss.

7. What job would you have had if not the one you have now?
Mike:  A teacher or a community organizer. I like the idea of empowering people to make their lives better.
Annice: Running an overnight camp would be awesome, living there year-round with our kids, being a perpetual teenager as my official job.

8. What's your favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago? In other words, how do you Jew?
Mike: Building a sukkah in our yard every year.
Annice: Two years ago, Mike slept overnight with the boys in the sukkah and ended up with walking pneumonia. So now we limit our sukkah-dwelling activities to my favorite Jewish thing to do in Chicago: eat, eat and more eat.

Thalia Spice
833 W. Chicago
www.thaliaspice.com

Rating: Three and a half stars

   



Thalia Spice—adding a touch of class to Thai food

The old Sunday night take-out standby for members of the tribe used to be Chinese. I myself have nothing but fond memories of the Sunday nights of my childhood: waiting to watch whatever was the special Sunday Night Movie on network TV as my mom arranged the signature red and white cylinders and white trapezoidal boxes on wooden trays. We got to eat on television trays and drink pop instead of milk—Sunday nights were special.

The menu was comforting and always from a minimal rotation of favorite dishes. Egg rolls, bbq pork, won ton soup for the kids and hot and sour soup for the grownups. Sweet and sour chicken, in its reddish brown sauce, filled with sweet chunks of canned pineapple, the occasional maraschino cherry, and crisply fried pieces of chicken. Mongolian beef, moo shu pork, cashew chicken. Egg foo young for dad. Fried rice. Almond cookies if we were feeling particularly festive. That is pretty much it. And frankly, until the late 1980s, that was pretty much it for Asian food in general.

When I saw the sushi display at a teenage house party in the movie Valley Girl, I had never heard of it before. But by the time Molly Ringwald tucked into her California roll at lunchtime in The Breakfast Club, sushi was making its way into regular rotation. Not for Sunday night delivery, it rarely travels well, but certainly it became part of our dining with fair consistency. The 1990s brought an Asian explosion here in Chicago, and our palates followed right along. Mongolian BBQ, Korean kim chee, Vietnamese Pho, even regional Chinese cuisine which is far more subtly nuanced than the fried and sticky sweet dishes of my childhood. But nothing made a dent in the delivery department.

Until Thai food came along.

The key to Sunday night dinner is the perfect combination of ease, affordability and comfort. And Thai food, with its soothing noodles, warming soups and curries, and wide variety of appetizers fits the bill perfectly. It doesn’t replace the nostalgia I have for those Sunday night Chinese dinners, but these days I’m far more likely to spend my Sunday nights with a cucumber salad and pad see ew with chicken.

I had always relegated Thai food into that sort of casual Sunday night take-out noodle shop mode, and never really thought much about it. Until I dined at Thalia Spice, a high-end restaurant at Chicago and Green that has introduced me to a whole different side of Thai.

The restaurant is separated into two rooms, and the décor lacks the usual kitsch, opting instead for simple surroundings. The owner, Anna, is likely to be the one greeting you at the door, and she is a dynamo in a tiny package, assuring you that anything you need or want will be taken care of.

I have eaten at Thalia Spice several times, and the service is always impeccable, the food delicious, and the prices very affordable.

Some highlights for me:

The Volcano soup (which they always obligingly make for me with chicken instead of seafood) is creamy and tart with a gentle back of the throat heat and perfect seasoning.  A green papaya salad will change your thoughts about papaya forever, and the banana blossom salad is a totally unique taste sensation that is worth checking out. While I am usually not one for wraps and rolls as I am not much of a raw fish girl, I changed my mind when Anna insisted I try a sweet potato roll…the combination of seasoned rice and soft sweet potato, wrapped in seaweed and topped with a creamy sauce made a believer out of me. The Sake bbq ribs are a more sophisticated version of the bbq pork from my childhood, and they even have egg rolls and gyoza if you can’t survive without dumplings and little crispy things before your meal.

Standard Thai fare is elevated here, the noodles perfectly cooked and seasoned, everything impeccably fresh. But as satisfying as the basics are, I highly recommend branching out. The Yaya Noodles, spinach noodles stir fried with veggies and your choice of meat, are a new favorite vying for my attention with my beloved pad see ew. And the honey roasted duck is a celebration. I’m not much of a curry fan, but my friends who are swear by all of Thalia’s versions. And I dare you to be able to tell me which of the five fried rice versions is your favorite. And in case you have a dining companion who isn’t feeling much like Thai, they also have a full selection of sushi and sashimi with some very inventive rolls.

They do a great lunch special, affordable and quick; enough food to keep you going but not make you a nap when you get back to work.

And yes. They do take out and delivery, in case you want to check them out some Sunday night.

Yours in good taste,
Stacey

www.staceyballis.com



Use Korean Black Garlic to add some Asian flare to your dishes

NOSH of the week: Staying in the Asian mode, my new favorite ingredient...Korean Black Garlic. These sweet fermented cloves taste like a combination of fig, roasted garlic, and balsamic vinegar, and have the texture of dried dates. I love them on soft cheeses like chevre or brie, chopped fine into dips like tapenade for a little something special, and blended into butter with salt and pepper that I then put under the skin of a chicken before I roast it. www.blackgarlic.com

NOSH food read of the week:  The Whole World Over  by Julia Glass

The le Bam girls 

I invited Libby, Stef and the rest of the Oy! team to my band’s CD release show this coming weekend and the next thing I knew they wanted me to write a story about releasing a record. Well, see the thing is…it is not really a CD release, at least not by traditional standards: we haven’t signed a record deal, we’re not on a major — or any — label. Like many people, we like writing music and because of our access to technology and rubber stamps, my BFF Erin (the other half of le Bam) were able to record an ep of six of our favorite songs — poppy, tongue-in-cheek, melodic works of (he)art. We embraced every DIY idea that came to mind and are having our CD release party this Saturday.

We le Bam girls have a little experience in trying to break into the music industry. It is hard and has nothing to do with how talented you are. Well, it helps to be talented, but you also have to know the right people and be blessed with a little luck. We’ve played in a few different bands together over the past nine years, the last of which, mabel, was pretty serious. For four years, we wrote songs, played shows, networked, sent out press kits, went on tour and finally felt like we were getting our name out there. In the end, like so many other groups, inner band drama got the best of us and we broke up. (Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, we weren’t big enough to be profiled by VH1’s ‘Behind the Music’.)

Erin and I wanted to keep writing songs together but instead of trying to “make it,” our mantra became “let’s write music because it’s fun and we love it.” So we started doing that and recruited Larry the Laptop (aka Erin’s powerbook) so we could have drum, bass, and other electronic elements in our songs. We were having fun, loving our new songs, and we had the most reliable bassist and drummer two girls could ask for!

We both love recording (find me a musician who doesn’t), so we decided to record a few of our favorite songs written in the past year or so. We chose six and turned Erin’s living room into our own cozy (if drafty) recording studio. Erin played sound engineer and I played the newbie singer who never recorded vox before. She played her keyboards. I played my electric cello. She sang. I sang. We tweaked Larry’s parts. We mixed. We listened. A lot. It was the most fun I’ve had for awhile. We didn’t start out thinking we’d have a CD release show at all, but then we surprised ourselves by actually liking what we recorded.

We bought recycled cardboard sleeves and pooled our selection of stamping gear. Crafting nights galore as we stamped and stenciled ‘le Bam’ on the front and ‘pow!’ on the back of all the sleeves. The CD labels have a sweet little stamped message for each listener. Even the lyrics are hand written and slide out of the sleeve for your reading pleasure.



Pow!

I was telling my mom about the CD awhile back and she asked me what the songs were about. In explaining them to her I realized that among other things, the central themes seem to focus on relationships, sex and apathy. For example:

Track One: Whiskey and Water. A celebration of ‘the crush’ – really, it is an artform.

Track Two: Worst Best I Ever Had. Ever had a one-night stand that lasted three months? Whoops.

Track Three: 3-14-06.  Becoming frustrated about being apathetic – a contradiction in song.

Track Four: The Lonely Star. The misunderstood outcast of our solar system gets revenge.

Track Five: The Wedding. Don’t be fooled, the first line is “death is a funny thing.”

Track Six: The Unfortunate Love Song. We end on a happy note – giving in to falling in love with someone you desperately tried not to fall in love with.

So now we have a CD and we want to share it with our friends and fans and possibly a few select people in the actual music industry. But I can’t really tell you about releasing a CD in the typical way where you have a label and a manager and a producer and a lawyer and all of that. We are being very bohemian about the release of our le Bam ep.

So what are we going to do with it? We are going to send it to a few people here and there and continue to write and play the music we love. Hopefully our little beloved DIY album will be enjoyed by other people — maybe even people we’re not related to and who don’t live with us.

If you come to the show on Saturday, it will be the usual le Bam spectacle featuring all the songs on the CD as well as a few that we didn’t record – the vampire song (there is screaming) and black is the new black (there is swearing) to name a couple crowd favorites – and of course, matching outfits. Hope to see you there.

le Bam CD Release Show - Pow!
Saturday, January 17, 2009 at 9:00 p.m.
Silvie's Lounge, 1902 Irving Park Rd - Chicago, IL
Free cd to the first five le Bam fans.

The whole family on our cancer-free cruise to Alaska

In May of 2006, I graduated from college and prepared to enter The Real World. I’d been readying myself mentally for months like most of my peers. After a quick trip to Israel, I came home and started my first job at a big PR firm in June. By August, I was living in a one-bedroom apartment in Lakeview. I was self sufficient, spending weekends with friends, exploring over 21 life in the city, and in the throes of a wonderful, exciting new relationship. I was following “my plan.”  I thought I was all set, and that I was a real adult.

And then my perfect vision of independent adult life came crashing down. Following my 23rd birthday in October, my mom was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. The doctors told us it had already spread to several of her lymph nodes and that she would need immediate surgery, followed by courses of chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

My family is very close. My mom is the center of this universe. My universe. I’m her only child (my sisters are from my dad’s first marriage) and we’ve always been extremely close. How could this happen to the most important person in my life?

I can’t begin to express what it feels like to learn that your mother’s health, well being and general existence in your life is really, seriously, suddenly threatened. To say that I (and the rest of my family) took my mom’s ability to be that center for granted would be a huge understatement.

My mom is the type of mother who when I called to complain about a particularly stressful week in school would fly out from Chicago to upstate New York for the weekend accompanied by my dog, a few books and her Sudoku puzzles to sit in the school library and keep me company while I studied for many straight hours.

The sudden fear of losing her took over my life and the lives of my sisters, my dad, my aunts, my cousins, so many people who always turned to her first in any crisis.

The first few weeks following the diagnosis are still a blur. It was hard for any of us to think. My mom told us from the start that she didn’t want to listen to all of the dire medical pronouncements (I learned quickly that doctors refuse to be even slightly optimistic).

She needed us to go to be her ears, to meet and to interview several oncologists and surgeons before we, as a family, choose a course of action. This was the first time that my mom had really asked us for help. We all immediately reacted. My sister cancelled her family vacation. My aunt flew in for an indefinite stay from San Diego. I got time off from the new job that had seemed so important a few short months before. For the first time ever, we rallied around my mom.

We turned into a mini army. We marched into each doctor’s office with our different assignments. My lawyer sister asked the tough questions, “Why won’t you do annual cat scans to check for new tumors?” My aunt taped and transcribed every meeting. Needless to say, we weren’t always popular with the doctors. More than one doctor told us that he had never before seen such a large group continuously show up at appointment after appointment to support my mom and berate him with questions.

There were a lot of tears shed for a lot of months by people who I don’t usually see cry. There were a few laughs too and many I love yous. We learned quickly (and this is the best advice I can offer anyone else facing cancer) that the one thing you can’t ever do is look back. That was the one rule that kept us all sane for months. Once a course of treatment had been decided and started, we didn’t ever question that decision.

In the end, collectively, we got through it. After my mom’s final radiation treatment, 17 members of my family boarded a celebratory cancer-free cruise to Alaska. It was the beginning of a party that included a trip to Hawaii and culminated in my mom’s 60th birthday bash.



Enjoying family dinner aboard the cruise

For a long time, it didn’t seem like things could ever calm down, but they did. And while we all live with the fear of the cancer coming back, we are returning to normalcy. And we’ve learned as a family that we can cope with anything.

My mom once again is leading the pack. She and her nutritionist have successfully convinced my family to adopt a much healthier lifestyle. We all, to varying degrees, eat organic. My mom has lost a great deal of weight. She sports a cute, short, all white, hair-do.  And she looks great--the best that I can remember.

I also have a new outlook on my so-called adult life. I’ve learned to be slightly more independent and I try not to turn to my parents for everything. It took me 25 years to realize that my parents aren’t invincible. Parents age, they get older and they turn to you for support and strength. I still struggle with this whole growing up thing. I can’t pay my own taxes or make most big decisions without consulting my mom first, but I found out that I can really be there for her now too.

I realize that being an adult is a lot more than excelling in school, getting a job, an independent income and an apartment. It’s about facing tough realities and coping with the unexpected wrench in the plans. I’ve been through bad and I can handle almost anything.

Last week, during one of the more treacherous snow storms, my mom woke me up at 6:00 in the morning from her vacation in South Florida to tell me to be extra careful on the roads. This type of overprotective, Jewish mother call before the cancer would have annoyed me to no end, but now it’s one that makes me very happy…and grateful.

Author Ilan Stavans at Spertus Institute of Jewish Studies
Photo Credit: Jeremy Lawson

Growing up in a Yiddish-speaking community in Mexico City, Ilan Stavans experienced a variety of linguistic conundrums. As a child, each language was assigned a role – Spanish for public life, Yiddish for private, Hebrew for religious – those distinctions left an indelible mark on the author, linguist and lexicographer Stavans would become.

Today, he believes language is fluid and flexible, able to adapt to any situation.

“I don’t believe that language is at any point static or stable. Only a dead language does not change,” says Stavans, a professor of Latin American and Latino Studies at Amherst College in Massachusetts and the author of several novels, collections of short stories and academic treatises. “A living language lends and borrows. The health of a language can be registered in its contact with other languages.”

Stavans personal journey to find the life of his dormant Hebrew, which he learned as a teenager and spoke during a year’s sojourn in Israel, is chronicled in his latest book,  Resurrecting Hebrew , which is part of the “Jewish Encounters” series from Schocken Books. More than simply a linguistic memoir, the book also attempts to map the path of Hebrew from the sacred language of the Torah to the modern tongue spoken by millions. Stavans spoke about this book and other linguistic journeys at a recent Nextbook presentation at Spertus Institute.

It all starts with a dream. In it, Stavans meets a woman who speaks a foreign – yet familiar – language to him. Once Stavans figures out that the mysterious language is Hebrew, he realizes that he had what a friend would later call “language withdrawal.” The same friend also introduces Stavans to Eliezer Ben Yehuda’s autobiography, written in Hebrew, of course.

We might remember from Sunday school lessons that Ben Yehuda can be credited with revitalizing Hebrew and bringing it from the realm of the sacred to the everyday. Ben Yehuda saw Hebrew as the antithesis to Yiddish, which stood for everything early Zionists did not want to embrace: assimilation and persecution, Stavans says.

Yet today’s Hebrew is far different from the language Ben Yehuda helped to revive. As Stavans points out, if Ben Yehuda heard Hebrew spoken today, “he would be totally shocked.” Today’s Hebrew is influenced by the communities of its speakers: native-born Israelis (sabras), Mizrahi Jews, Russian Jews, Sephardic Jews, Ashkenazi Jews. And Arabic and English have infused both slang and everyday terms into Hebrew.

“Ben Yehuda wanted to go back to the original sacred language and expand it to the needs of today,” Stavans says. “But the purity [of language] that he celebrated he wouldn’t find today.”

This very mixture of linguistic traditions – one that Ben Yehuda would have abhorred – fascinates Stavans. Before resurrecting his own relationship to Hebrew, Stavans spent years studying Spanglish, the hybrid of English and Spanish spoken largely by immigrants from Latin America. While English is the language of public communication, many Latinos retain Spanish for private interaction among family and friends. Still, English makes inroads into that sphere with new concepts introduced into the more traditional Spanish.

Stavans’ interest in Spanglish is the direct outgrowth of his Yiddish upbringing. The 1960s Bundist – socialist Zionist – community of Stavans’ childhood saw Yiddish as “the ticket to identity.” Yet Yiddish itself is a hybrid language, mixing traces of Biblical Hebrew with vernacular German. And as Yiddish teachers died or retired, Israeli schlichim (Jewish Agency emissaries) replaced them, bringing with them a new dimension to an already convoluted language identity, Stavans says.

The boundaries between languages became fainter as Yiddish began to disappear, too. The juxtaposition of being a Mexican and a Jew became symbolic of the past, only to be replaced by the feeling that the community was not doing enough Jewishly, Stavans says. After all, the ultimate goal of learning this new language – Hebrew – was aliya. “Resurrecting Hebrew” dwells on the relationship between Israel and Jews outside it as much as it recalls the history of the actual language.

“Hebrew is the DNA carrier of who Jews are,” Stavans says. “It is a language carrying secrets that enable our people to survive.”

And yet, for all we know, this moment in Hebrew’s history is only the cradle of a new, powerful tradition, Stavans says. And who knows might happen in the next millennia?

The next Nextbook at Spertus event will feature Ariel Sabar, author of My Father’s Paradise Sunday, Jan. 25 at 2 p.m. A book signing will follow the talk.